Bones
by MadcapScribbler
Summary: Katniss has been in an abusive relationship with gale for two years and, although she won't admit it, she's afraid. She needs someone to comfort her and make sure she's ok, someone kind with blonde curls and blue eyes. Ok, that was a very cheesy summary. But I really hope you like the story! Rated T for language and general idea.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok guys, Hello! This is my third fanfiction, I really hope you like it! **

**Don't forget to Favourite/Follow/Review!  
DFTBA ~Madcapscribbler. **

I turn around and look at the clock, it's 5:00 AM. I haven't had a minute of sleep all night, so I figure I might as well get up now. Prim is in my mother's bed again, which is odd because she usually only gets nightmares in the summer, when the reaping is near, not in the dead of winter. Then again, I don't blame her; nightmares can be brought on by almost anything in this pathetic excuse for a district.

I slip out of bed and tip-toe into the bathroom. I turn on the small gas lamp in the corner and listen to the low humming sound it produces as it burns. I shut the door behind me and brace myself before looking in the mirror. Even through the broken shards I can see the deep purple bruise that surrounds my left eye. I run my fingers across it gently but stop as it still hurts to touch.

I look in the back of the cupboard, behind the broken back board, and grab a small bag. I hide it as my mother would kill me if she knew I had makeup. Typically the only people who have makeup are the capitol officials and district whores. I have it however, because she would react worse if she saw my face most of the time. It covers the bruise perfectly, so I shut the bag and put it back in its hiding place.

I walk back to our room and get dressed, before making my way downstairs. The cupboards are almost empty again, but there is some bread and some fresh goats milk, so I tear a piece of bread off the loaf and wash it down with some milk.

Later when everyone is up I decide I should probably go out. Gale wants me to meet him in the woods at 10:00, which gives me about an hour and a half. I suppose I should go and say hello to greasy Sae, but I'm not sure I want to. Not today. Then I remember that I have some squirrels and rabbits hanging up outside and that I could probably go and trade them at the hob. I grab my father's hunting jacket and my game bag and then leave.

The hob isn't very busy today, but the regulars are all here. Sae isn't though, because she finds it difficult to get anywhere in the snow. I trade the squirrels for some bread, some potatoes and some carrots. I trade one of the rabbits for a chicken and the other for some tea leaves and some honey, because prim loves honey in her tea. I take everything home and restock our cupboards. By the time I'm done the clock says 9:30 so I make my way down to the woods.

When I get to the woods, I'm early, so I sit down on a tree stump in the usual place. It's only a few minutes before I'm joined on the stump by Gale.  
"Hey babe" he wraps his arm around my lower back.

"Hey" I whisper. He kisses me and I kiss him back before he pulls away.

"How are you?" He asks

"Fine. You?" My voice is still hushed.

"I'm better now I'm with you" he says, planting another kiss on my forehead. I smile but don't respond.

"I was wandering, because my family is going to spend the weekend with my uncle this weekend, do you want to come round tonight?" he asks.

"I can't" I mumble. I feel my cheeks burn as I look at my feet.

"Katniss, you know how much I hate it when you mumble" He states.

"I. I can't" I say it just loud enough. "I'm going to Madge's tonight." I feel so small as I say the last words.

"What?" He asks, his voice growing cold.

"I said I can't" I say it quieter again. He grabs my wrist. "Ow, Gale, stop it. Please. You're hurting me"

"Good." He sneers. "So where are you going tonight"

"Your house" I yelp. "Your house, please let go Gale"

"That's better" he says, false authority entangling his words. "And why are you coming to mine tonight?"

"Because I love you."

"And…"

"And you own me"

"That's right" he pulls me in to a tight hug and whispers into my ear. "…and you know the consequences for saying otherwise"

I didn't know that words could scare me until I met Gale. In fact, when I first met him, he was really sweet and kind. He asked me to go out with him two years ago, when he was 18 and I was 16. I was just dumb and thought I loved him. This is definitely not love.

"Now give me a kiss before I go to work, _babe_" he jeers. I do as I'm told and kiss him before sitting back down on the tree stump and watching him leave. I want to cry, but crying would wash the makeup off my face and people would see what he does to me. I stand up, and dig my hands into my pockets. I have a few coins that could probably get me something small from the bakery, so I decide to go and cheer myself up with a cake.

The bell above the door jingles as I walk in. I'm instantly surrounded by the lush smell of cooking pastries.

"I'll be with you in a minute" says a blonde boy at the counter. When he looks up, I recognise him immediately.  
"Peeta!" I beam.

"Katniss!" He beams back and makes his way out from behind the counter to give me a hug.

"I haven't seen you for so long!" he adds. I haven't seen him since the reaping earlier this summer, but that sort of thing can be a bit of a downer in conversations.

"I do believe we haven't had an actual conversation in about two years" I say – which is also true.

"That long? Wow…" He trails off. "So. Umm. Oh yes, what can I get you?" He asks.

"Umm those look good…" I say, pointing at some cheese buns.

"Ok." he says placing four in a bag.

"Peeta, I can't afford four"

"Don't worry, these are on me." he says.

"Are you sure?" I say. He nods, so I take the bag hesitant.

"You don't happen to have the time, do you?"

"Umm. Last time I checked it was nearly half past ten" I tell him.

"Dammit, they let me work overtime again." He sighs, shaking his head. "RYE! COME AND TAKE YOUR SHIFT!" he screeches up the stairs. I'm about to leave when he calls me.

"Hey, Katniss, wait up"

"Huh?" I turn around.

"Your mother is like a doctor, right"

"Well she's not a doctor but, yeah…"

"Do you think she could check out my leg? I burnt it earlier and I think it needs looking at."

"Oh, err, ok. Sure" I smile and wait for him to catch up.

The walk from the bakery to my house is not too far, but I notice as we walk that Peeta is limping a bit, so I try and hurry it along so that he can get it sorted quickly.

When we get to the house, I'm surprised to find it's empty.

"Shit." I sigh under my breath. "Sorry, I completely forgot, My mother said she was taking prim on house calls today"

"It's ok." Peeta smiles, god he's so smiley. "I can always come back tomorrow."

"Hey, don't be thick" I tell him "I can look at your leg, there's no way you're going any longer without it being sorted" I say.

"Are you sure, I don't want to outstay my welcome or anything."

"You're not, I want to help. Honest." I tell him.

He sits on the table and rolls up his trouser leg, revealing a massive burn on his shin.  
"Jesus Peeta, how did this happen?"

"I dropped a baking tray on my leg…" He sighs.

"Ok. Well, it's still pretty new so I can probably stop it from blistering or scarring" I tell him.

"So, how are you?" He asks, changing the subject.

"Good" I lie "What about you?"

"Well I have a bit of an 'ouchy' but things could be worse." He laughs. "So tell me, how have the last two years been? We've got a bit of catching up to do."

"Umm. They've been ok I guess."

"Still with Gale?" My breathing falters at his name, I grit my teeth and look down at his leg as I wrap a cold flannel over it.

"Mmmhmm." I confirm, vaguely. "What about you, got a girlfriend?"

"Nah. You'd be surprised at how many women don't want to go out with a short baker" he laughs again. I have to say I do find it quite surprising, considering Peeta isn't unattractive at all. He has slightly curly blonde hair, and bright blue eyes that sparkle when he smiles. He's a really nice guy too.

"Well, I'm sure you'll find someone" I try to be encouraging.

"Mm. Maybe. Anyway, back to you, how's your sister?"

"Still crazy" I smile

"ah good; the crazier the better, that's what I say. Still wants to be a doctor I take it?"

"More than ever before" I laugh "She follows mum at the weekends when she doesn't have school"

"Ah, hence her not being here"

"Yep." I say, getting up to get another flannel. When I come back, Peeta stops me before I get the chance to get to his leg.  
"You have some water on your face" he says, cupping my cheek in his hand and wiping away the water with his thumb. His eyes widen after he does so, and I instantly realise why. I pull my face back and turn away so he can't see my black eye.

"Katniss…"  
"No. I. I mean. Umm. I'll. Hang on." I say, I try and run away, but he grabs my hand before I can. I feel my sleeve rise up my arm and watch as he sees the bruises and scratches up my arm and wrist.

"Katniss. What happened?"

**Ooooh Cliffhanger, don't worry chapter 2 is on it's way! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**I wrote this super quick because of all the lovely reviews, favourites and follows! So thanks, I'm so glad you like it. Here's chapter 2! **

**Don't forget to keep the reviews/favourites/follows coming:)  
DFTBA ~MadcapScribbler.**

I sit down on the floor in front of him and cry. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't even move, he just watches me as I break. After a while I feel his hand on my back.

"Shhh. It's ok. It's ok." He tells me. I wish I could believe him, but he's wrong. It's not ok.

"I'm so scared" I tell him. I wipe away my tears and look up at him.

"What… are you scared of?" It only occurs to me now, that he doesn't know how I got these.

"I… I can't say." I sniff. He looks at me as if I were a dying animal, I watch as he hesitates to say it, but eventually he does.

"Was… Was it… Gale" He whispers the last bit. I nod before bursting into tears again.

"Oh Katniss" He says, holding me as I cry. "What did he do?" I think carefully before saying anything.

"They're all scars and bruises from different times." I sniff.

"This one is from this morning." I say pointing at the finger shaped bruises around my wrist.

"And these ones are from a while ago." I sigh.

"…and the black eye?" He asks.

"We got in an argument." I state, bluntly. He can tell I don't want to talk about it.

"Why don't you leave him?" he changes the subject slightly.

"Because if he does this to me when he loves me…"

"You're afraid of what he'll do if he doesn't" He finishes my sentence. I nod and swallow my tears away.

"Peeta, you have to promise not to say anything." I tell him. "Seriously, Gale would…" I don't finish. I don't want to say what Gale would do.

"Ok, ok, I promise. But you have to promise to tell me whenever he does anything."

"Fine" I sigh. "It's a deal." I say, offering my hand. He shakes it, and I leave to soak the flannel again.

When I get back to him and his burnt leg, there is an uncomfortable silence. I feel like Peeta wants to says something.

"Peeta. What's wrong?"

"I.. oh.. it's nothing."

"Seriously, tell me."

"I just don't know why someone would want to hurt you" I feel like crying again.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that an intelligent, beautiful person like you should be treated with respect. You should be loved." I cannot explain how awkward the silence is that follows.

"Thanks" I whisper. "For understanding."

I pour some water onto his leg and wrap it in bandages with some medicinal leaves my mother keeps in the cupboard. He seems relieved when I'm done.

"I suppose I should probably go back to the bakery"

"I thought your shift was over…"

"Umm. It is… but they can always use some help"

"Do you have to go?" I ask, realising that I sound kind of desperate.

"Not if you don't want me to."

"Please stay, just for a bit. It's nice to… talk about it. Y'know"

"Ok. I'll stay" He gives me a half smile. "But if we're going to talk, we might as well have a drink. Got any tea?" I smile and nod, before showing him to the kitchen.

When I've made some tea and we're both sitting down on the floor in the living room he starts asking me questions. I watch as he speaks, how concerned and passionate he gets. His speaking is slow and his eyes look emotionless and full of emotion at the same time.

"When did he first hit you?" is his first question. I think about lying and saying that I don't remember, but of course I do. I remember it perfectly.

"It was the day before my seventeenth birthday." I tell him, making no eye contact. "I went to his house first thing in the morning. It was hot. Hot for May, anyway. I was

wearing a blue dress that Sae had made me, with buttons and a collar"

"I know the one" He smiles

"Yeah, so I went to Gale's and he looked at me and my dress and said asked me if anyone had seen me in it. I told him, not in particular, but anyone who had seen meon my way to his house would have. That's when the argument started. He had a go at me: saying that the way I dressed was provocative and that only he could see me like that."

"That doesn't seem fair" Peeta chips in, taking a sip of his tea.

"That's what I told him, and it built up and up and up until we were both screaming bloody murder. Eventually I told him I was done fighting and that I was going home. But before I even turned around he slapped me. Right in the face, leaving a bright red hand print on my cheek. Fortunately his mother had some makeup that I borrowed to cover it up before I went home."

"His mother knows?"

"No, she wasn't there. She doesn't know I borrowed it."

"Oh. What's the worst he's done? …if you don't mind me asking"

"He's never done anything other than hit, slap, punch or scratch me."

"So he's never…" he trails off.

"Never what?" I ask. Peeta's face burns bright red.

"Oh. No, Peeta he may be a horrible person but he's not a rapist." I tell him.

"I just… never mind."

"No, go on, tell me"

"If he does ever… You know… tell me. He doesn't have the right to. He doesn't have the right to hit you really but I said I wouldn't tell anyone or get involved, so I won't. Unless the worst happens."

"Unless the worst happens" I confirm.

There is another silence as we sip at our tea. This silence, however, is comfortable. I watch everything that he does. The way he blinks, the way he drinks, the way his hands grip the mug. He has very detailed hands. That sounds odd but there is no other way of describing them.

"I'm going to see him tonight." I blurt out.

"What?"

"Gale. I'm going to see him. Tonight." I say, slower this time.

"Oh. I see"

"Yeah. I feel like something bad is going to happen." I can feel my voice shake as I say it.

"Well how about this." He says, moving closer to me on the sofa. "If anything really bad happens, you get out of there. Come to the bakery, if I'm not there; wait behind the counter until I get there. If not, you come to the bakery tomorrow at ten. We can have a drink and a chat and you can tell me anything, anything at all, just know that I won't judge you, I won't look down on you. I want you to know that whatever you tell me; I'll respect you."

**Oooh, what's going to happen? I'm not telling :p Thanks for reading, next chapter will be up soon! x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all of the amazing reviews and comments on this guys, you're all so amazing for reading this, and I'm so glad you like it! As a thank you, I've done 2 new chapters for you so I hope you enjoy them! I really enjoyed writing them! **

**Don't forget to review/favourite/follow!**

**DFTBA ~MadcapScribbler**

Eventually Peeta had to go, and I was left alone in the house again. I took the time I had alone and went upstairs to redo my makeup rituals. As I look into that broken mirror I think about what I've just done; I've just told a boy that I barely know, and haven't talked to in two years, everything. Everything I've never had the courage to say out loud, I said to him. I also think about how other people would react if I told them. My mother would be disappointed, Prim would cry. But Peeta is different. He tried to help me, picked me up off the floor and told me to keep going. That's what I need. Someone like him.

My mother and Prim aren't back by the time I have to leave, so I leave a note on the table.

_Gone to Gales, there's food in the cupboards, not sure when I'll be back._

_Katniss. _

On the way to his house, I stop by Madge's. I'm always quite intimidated by her house, as she's the Mayor's daughter; it's one of the nicest in the district. I stand in the doorway waiting for someone to open the door. Usually it's the housemaid, Eden, but today Madge opens the door.

"Hey, Katniss!" she beams.

"Hey… I can't stay tonight." I feel bad as I say it.

"Oh." She seems kind of disappointed "How come?"

"Umm…" I think of a lie on my feet "Gale… is not feeling to good… and I said I would. You know. Look after him."

"Oh, ok. We'll just have to reschedule" says, ever-optimistic Madge.

When we say goodbyes I honestly think of running home. But then I remember the plan: if anything bad happens, I wait for Peeta in the bakery. I make my way, slowly, to Gale's house, feeling my breathing falter every now and again. I try and reassure myself that nothing too bad will happen, and that worst thing he could do to me is give me another bruise, but it doesn't work. I still have this feeling that something really bad is going to happen.

The snow is thick on the ground today, which slows me down a bit, so I try and walk faster, knowing that he's probably already waiting for me.

When I do get to his, I'm surprised to find the door is open, so I walk straight in.

"Gale?" I call. No, answer. "Gale!?" I try again. I walk through into the kitchen and find him sitting at the table with a drink in his hand.

"You're late" He slurs. That isn't his first drink.

"Sorry, I had to tell Madge that I wasn't staying at hers." I tell him.

"I. Don't. Care." As he stands the chair falls over behind him. I swallow as he steps towards me.

"You shouldn't have been late Katniss. You know I don't like it when you're late" His voice is snarly and uncomfortable and I don't like it. He is quite a bit taller than me, so when he takes another step towards me, he looks down on me. I look up and don't move.

"Gale… I-"

"SHUT UP" He screams as he pushes me onto the floor. I try and crawl back but I can't.

"Gale, please"

"Oh stop it." He spits. "You look pathetic. Crawling around on the floor and begging." He rests one foot on my stomach.

"Gale that hurts"

"Good" He hisses. "I own you. Remember that."

"You own me" I confirm.

"Good girl" He patronises, lifting his foot off of my leg and pulling me up off the floor, before forcing a kiss onto my lips. His mouth tastes of liquor.

Later, when everything is slightly more relaxed, we sit by the fire. He hugs me, a little too tight, but it could be worse.

"Katniss, I'm sorry I had to do that to you."

"It's ok" I whisper, not knowing how else to respond.

"But you just left me no choice. You need to know I don't like hurting you, but sometimes, I have to." I stay quiet.

"I love you Katniss"

"I love you too." I whisper, before kissing him.

The next morning, I wake up on the floor by the fire place. Gale must have gone to bed and left me down here. I get up and find him in the kitchen. He seems in a better mood.

"I have to go to work babe" He tells me.

"Ok."

"…help yourself to food, love you" He kisses me on the forehead before leaving. I wait a bit after he's gone before I go, to avoid him seeing me make a quick getaway.

The bakery is almost empty when I get there. It must be at least 10:15 by now. Peeta is sitting by the window, waiting for me. The bell jingles as the door opens, just like always. He smiles and waves me over. I take a seat opposite him.

"I got you some cocoa." He says, handing me a mug.

"Thanks" I say, taking the mug in both hands and breathing in the chocolaty fumes.

"So… Are you ok?" He asks, almost nervously.

"Umm. Yeah." I avoid eye contact.

"Are you sure" he knows me too well.

"No."

"What happened?"

"He was drunk. He pushed me over." I abbreviate the actual happenings, as to protect him from the truth.

"Is that all?"

"He told me that he doesn't like hurting me. Apparently I leave him no choice."

"That's not fair!" He exclaims. I shoot him a look, just to make sure he quiets down. "Sorry. It's just wrong. _He's wrong. _I can't believe he would say that to you Katniss."

"Do you know the worst thing?"

"What"

"Sometimes, I actually believe him." I sigh.

"Oh, Kat…" he sympathises. "I'm sorry. I will say something, or do something – if you want me to?"

"Don't be stupid. He'd kill you"

"I could talk to the peacekeepers"

"Like they'd care. It's not like abuse is uncommon here."

"But you admit that it's abuse?" he asks. It's only now that I realise that he's right. That's the first time I've actually admitted that it is abuse.

"I… Well… I… yeah. I guess it is" I stutter.

"You need to do something Katniss. What if you end up getting really hurt"

"I can't do anything Peeta. Nothing."

"I know."

"Why do you care so much anyway? I mean, it's not exactly like we're close friends or anything."

"Because I- It doesn't matter."

"Are you sure, you seem to care a hell of a lot"

"Don't worry about it."

For the next few weeks whenever I had a run in with Gale, I would go to Peeta. The more we talked, the closer we became. He would be supportive, understanding and everything Gale isn't. We even started meeting up whenever we wanted a chat.

"So how old is prim now?"

"14"

"Really? I thought she was younger."

"I know, I keep imagining her as the sweet little three year old that she once was, it's funny to think that-"

"Katniss?" someone interrupts, but it's not Peeta. I turn around to see Gale standing behind me, smiling.

"Gale… I"

"Katniss, I've been looking everywhere for you" He says, his voice unusually chirpy.

"Huh?"

"Your mother wants you, come on, I'll take you to her" he grabs my hand and pulls me away.

"Uh, bye Katniss" Peeta says, trying not to sound concerned, unfortunately his face gives him away.

"Bye" I whisper.


	4. Chapter 4

**I just want to say thanks again for the feed back. This chapter is a little bit sad, but has a great ending!  
**

**Don't forget to review/favourite/follow!  
****DFTBA ~MadcapScribble**

Gale held my hand as we walked in silence to my house. His fingers gripping painfully onto mine.

"I thought you said my mother wanted to see me"

"Shut up and get inside" He says as he pushes me. The house is empty; my mother did mention that she was going to the other side of the district for the week. Prim isstill at school, but she'll be back in a few hours.

"Gale, what's this about?"

"You know, I heard to funniest thing last night."

"huh?"

"Thom told me that he had seen you and some baker boy together a few times."

"What?"

"I told him that was nonsense, because my girl would know better than to go around cheating on me. She knows that that kind of thing could be dangerous to her health."

"Cheating?"

"Oh don't act dumb. I saw you and him in there, having a nice little chat, were you?"

"Gale, I was just catching up with him, he's an old school friend."

"Oh, _catching up?_ Is that what you call it."

"Yes, because that's all it was."

"That's funny, because I know something else that is _catching."  
_

_"_What…?" I ask, he walks towards me, and I back away from him as he does.

Then he pushes me and I stumble backwards, knocking my leg into the fire place. I scream in pain as the fire burns it and run quickly in the other direction. My legs are weak from the pain and shock and fall down to the floor. He puts his leg on top of me again. I look up at him but make no effort to move away.

"I thought we had been through this Katniss. You. Are. _Mine._"

"I know gale, I know."

"Then prove it."

"How?" I say, by this point I'm shaking with fear.

"Forget it. I know everything Katniss. The game is over."

He gets down to my level and pins me down. He punches me a few times. Suddenly, I free one of my hands and slap him. Hard. So hard, that it draws blood at his eyebrow. He's still sitting on my legs but he stops punching me. He runs his fingers over the cut and examines the cut. He then closes his eyes and laughs.

"Katniss, Katniss, Katniss…" He says, sadistically. "I didn't want it to get to this, but I guess you leave me no choice."

He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a small hunting knife. He then carefully draws a life down the side of my face and down along my jaw bone with the point of the blade. I can just see the blood as it comes into contact with the corner of my eye. He then drops the knife and continues to punch me until my vision goes hazy.

"Sweet dreams" He says, before kissing me and walking away.

* * *

I blink my eyes awake, to find prim staring over me.

"She's awake!" she beams. Peeta then mimics her, by standing over me and staring to. Prim quickly scurries away like a scared animal.

"Oh my god Kat, are you ok?" He blurts out.

"I… What… my nose hurts" Is all I can make out.

"Yeah, it's a little broken."

"What?" I try and sit up but he won't let me.

"Don't try and move. You're hurt."

"What happened?"

"I was going to ask you that." He sighs. "Can you remember anything?"

"I… I was with. Umm. Gale was here. And we were arguing."

"Do you remember what it was about?"

"You" I sigh "he thought I was having an affair"

"…this is. It's my fault." He looks broken as he says it.

"No. Peeta, it's the opposite. I promise you it's not your fault."

"But if we hadn't been talking, he wouldn't have gone this far."

"Prim!" I exclaim.

"What about her"

"What does she know?"

"Don't worry, I didn't tell her about him. But she did find you here. I was just coming here myself when she ran down the street crying. She thought you were dead."

"Go and get her. I need to talk to her."

"Ok. Just don't work yourself up too much."

When he leaves, I realise where I am. I'm lying in my mother's bed. I look down at my black bruises and red marks that spiral up my arms.

"Katniss…" she's stood in the doorway, almost as if she's scared to come in.

"It's ok prim, come here" I say, my voice is calm and quiet. She walks towards me and sits on the end of the bed.

"Peeta told me you found me..." I say. She nods. "It was very brave of you to tell him. You saved my life." I say

"I thought you were dead" she whispers as a tear rolls down her cheek.

"Hey. Shhh, it's ok. I tell her. I'm ok, see. I'm alive" I see Peeta come into the room. He goes and sits my bed, the one opposite where I am.

"What happened?" she sniffs. I look at Peeta, who nods to tell me it's ok to explain to her.

"Gale beat me up"

"Gale?"

"Yeah. Gale"

"But he's your boyfriend"

"Yes. But sometimes, boys aren't as good as you'd think."

"But Peeta's a boy, and he just helped save your life." She points out. I blush a little.

"Yeah. Peeta's a good guy." I tell her. Then prim gets on her knees and whispers into my ear.

"I think he likes you" She looks at me, awaiting a response.

"And what would make you say that?" I ask. She shrugs before standing up.

"I made some soup, would you like some?" She asks.

"Just a bit" I tell her

"Peeta?" She asks.

"Uh, yeah. Ok." he says and she skips out of the room, back to her normal bubbly self.

Peeta then comes and sits on the bed with me.

"Katniss… while Prim's out of the room. I need to tell you something."

"Huh? Oh ok…"

"I, well my aunt works at the hospital on the other side of the district." He's not looking at me. "I looked at your file"

"Peeta! You did what?"

"You told me all he did was hit you"

"I can't believe you" I shout.

"Why didn't you tell me you had an abortion?" He asks, trying to stay calm.

"I. Peeta. I."

"You don't have to explain yourself. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have looked at your file, I just. I'm sorry." He stands up like he's about to leave but I stop him.

"I was 16." He stops and turns to look at me. "I. I didn't know that it was rape."

"Did you tell anyone?"

"God no. Can you imagine what people would think? He was my boyfriend; I guessed that it wasn't rape because we were in a relationship."

"I'm so sorry." He whispers. Soon enough Peeta's back on the bed, holding my hand.

"Don't apologise, it wasn't you."

"But if I'd known… I would've"

"You would've what? You wouldn't have been able to do anything. No one would believe you."

"I guess not." He says.

"You have to make sure not to tell anyone. Not for my sake, but for yours."

"Ok Katniss. I promise."

Then I do something that surprises even me. I sit up, and ignore the pain, holding my arms out to him, for a hug. He moves closer to me so he's in my arms and I kiss him.

The kiss is new and exciting and safe. His lips taste like warm bread and, for the first time in years, I don't feel like I have to keep my eyes open, I close them and think about how perfect he is. I pull away instantly, regretting what I've done. He is perfect, and that's why I can't kiss him, someone as perfect as Peeta deserves so much better than the broken girl sitting in front of him.

"What, what's wrong, are you in pain" he says when I jerk my head away from the kiss.

"No, it's nothing, I just. You deserve better than me, Peeta."

"There isn't anyone better than you Katniss."

**N'awww, cute right! Ok, so I'm not sure when the next one will be up but it will definitely be up by next sunday! Thanks for reading lovelies.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I am SO SORRY that this took so long. I didn't expect for it to happen, but I've not been very 'mentally stable' recently, but I can assure you that I am better now:) So, here is the chapter, and as it is half term there should hopefully be more to come, thanks for reading and reviewing guys, you're all so lovely and I hope all of you are ok and enjoying the story. This chapter's a good'n so I hope you like it!**

**Don't forget to review/follow/favourite!  
DFTBA ~MadcapScribbler.**

God I wish he hadn't said that. I immediately burst into tears as he holds me.

"Shh. Hey… Shh, what is it?" He comforts me.

"Why did I pick him?" I sob, as if he would know.

"Well, I… Love is funny" he starts to rub my back, his hand turning small circles. "I guess it's not something we earn, more something we take. We only take the love we feel like we're worth. You don't seem very confident, Kat. Maybe you thought you deserved him." He sighs. I wipe the tears from my face and look up at him.

"That's the worst thing though; I really did feel like I deserved him"

"Well you know that you didn't now. And I'm here; I'm going to help you through this. I promise"

"Really?"

"Really" he confirms.

We're about to kiss, when prim walks into the room with the soup, so we both decide otherwise. I have to say, the soup is good and just what I need after a bad day, to say the least. During lunch Peeta explains to prim everything about Gale, and we get her to swear not to say a word to anyone.

"So, how much do you remember, we should probably just go through it all."

"Ok. Umm. Well we were arguing about you. And then he pushed me… into the fireplace. It burnt the back of my leg. Umm then I fell and he sat on my legs. He started hitting me so I hit him. Umm. Then. Urr, he… Oh that's when he cut me… On my face… and he dropped the knife and started hitting me again. Then I can't remember."

"Ok. Well I think we sorted all of that; burn medicine, stiches, allsorts, but there's no way that I'm leaving you alone. Not until your mother gets back."

"You don't have to stay Peeta, seriously."

"No, I want to." He says, flashing me a quick smile.

It's been a few days since Peeta found me. From what I've heard, nobody's seen Gale since it happened, which both pleases me and worries me. I'm still under orders from Peeta to make sure I get lots of rest and don't get out of bed.

It's raining, which seems to make my situation worse, as I have some sort of ironic pathetic fallacy to drive me insane. At least all of this free time allows me to think. Since Peeta and I kissed, things have sort of quietened down and I'm not sure what stands. I'm a little confused as to whether or not I'm still with Gale. I know that sounds stupid, but I honestly don't know. I know that I want to be with Peeta, but I just don't know if I can be that selfish. I don't want to spend another second with Gale.

Peeta spends all of his time here in our house, as long as he doesn't have shifts at the bakery, but he runs back after work to make sure I'm ok. Today is his day off, and for the last few hours, he has been sitting on the bed opposite me, only talking occasionally, and drawing. I watch his hands as he guides the pencil along the page; sometimes jutting it out in sharp movements and other times spiralling around in long, soft pencil strokes. However, after a while the silence begins to make me feel uncomfortable, so I speak up.

"Peeta?"

"Mmm?" He doesn't take his eyes off the page.

"I… err. I. Well. Where do you and I stand… as people?"

"Huh?" He looks up, his face riddled with confusion.

"As people. No. umm. How would you describe our relationship?"

"Well it depends what you mean by relationship." He closes the sketchbook and puts it down, fully engaging in the conversation.

"Well that's what I'm trying to find out." I sigh. "What do we mean by relationship."

"Well…" He trails off.

"Well?"

"I…"

"You?"

"I suppose. Umm. I don't know."

"It's just with the kiss. And what you said…"

"Yeah." He cuts me off. By now, his face is bright red and he's looking down, as to hide behind his hair.

"I would be lying if I told you that kiss wasn't amazing." I tell him, grabbing his attention again.

"So would I."

"To be fair, I think I would be lying if I told you that it was anything less than perfect"

"Yeah."

"And it wouldn't be fair to lie, would it."

"No, definitely not." He agrees, a small smile appearing on his face.

"Come here." I say, quietly. He does what I say and sits next to me on the bed. I take his hands in mine.

"Katniss. I have something to admit." He says, avoiding my eyes, but keeping his hands in mine, still.

"Ok…"

"When you and gale got together. When I first saw you guys, it broke me. Seeing you with him killed me, I would sit and think about how he didn't deserve you. And that was before I even knew that he… what he did to you."

"…Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Because you looked so happy. I saw the way your eyes lit up when you were with him, the way your smile brightened when he was there. It wasn't as obvious as time went on, but in the early days, it was clear you were in love. I couldn't do that to you. Happiness isn't exactly very prominent around here; I couldn't be responsible for taking it away from you."

I stay silent as he tells me this. Almost ashamed of myself for fooling him. But then I think about it, I was in love with Gale.

"The thing is, Peeta" I lift his head up. "You can fall out of love almost as quickly as you can fall into it."

"Huh?" Honestly, he's usually so smart, why doesn't he get it?

"I love you, Peeta"

"Katniss. I… I… I love you too" He smiles. We don't kiss though. Not this time. This time we just sit in the comfortable silence of each other's company.

* * *

The next few weeks, Peeta nurses me back to health, slowly I might add, and I received a letter from my mother saying that she has been helping out at the hospital and has decided to extend her trip for a while. She wrote that she is not sure when exactly she will be back, and she said that she

"hopes everything is ok." Peeta wrote a letter back to her, saying I was fine. I don't want to worry my mother.

Exactly two weeks after receiving the letter from my mother, I am feeling a lot better. The cut on my face is now a faint scar that is barely noticeable with the help of a little makeup. Peeta still comes in and makes sure I'm ok, he says he likes it more with me than at home.

I'm just helping him clear up after lunch when there is a knock at the door.

"I'll get it" I tell him.

When I open the door I'm surprised to find my mother, and Gale, at the door.

"Mum…" I say, trying to sound pleased that she's here. My plan fails when I realise that I haven't taken my eyes off gale the whole time.

"Katniss!" She beams. "Quick go and get prim, we've got a surprise!" I do what she says, worried by the use of the term 'we'. Prim and Peeta follow me into the room, both of them stare at Gale as they do so.

"What's this about…" I start to ask when before gale interrupts me. He gets down on one knee, looks me in the eyes and pulls out a box from his pocket. The same pocket that had a knife in it, only a few weeks ago.

"Katniss, will you marry me?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok, guys here it is, Chapter 6. Thanks again to you all for reading, and especially to Jade, who threatened to pester me daily until this chapter was posted! Enthusiasm like that makes me write faster and the reviews this has been getting are lovely, keep them coming!**

**Don't forget to review/favourite/follow  
DFTBA ~MadcapScribbler**

I don't mean to, but I slap him. I stare at him for a minute, not sure whether I should be confused, angry or scared. Eventually I come to the conclusion that I am all of them. I look up to see that prim has the same expression on her face as me; I scan the room, noticing that my mother is in complete shock as to what I have just done. She clearly has no idea of what type of person Gale really is. When I look at Peeta, I feel sick. I know that I love him. I know the he loves me, yet here we are.

"Gale. I." my breathing is heavy. "I need to talk to my mother for a minute. Excuse us." I say signalling for my mother to come with me. We walk into the bedroom and I shut the door.

"I can't marry him" I whisper.

"What?"

"I can't marry him" I say, out loud this time.

"And why not?" she asks. I'm not surprised she's disappointed, I just wish she wasn't. It would make everything easier. I don't answer her.

"Katniss, I know that marriage is a scary thing for you. But it has to happen someday and-"

"He hits me." I stop her.

"He what?"

"He hits me, mum"

"Katniss, take that back. I can't believe you would accuse gale of something so outrageous. Honestly, it's not like you to lie"

"I'm not lying. It's true. Wait here, I'll show you"

I leave the room, run to the bathroom and scrub off the makeup with some water from the tap. I look in the mirror before leaving. The scar is now fully visible, along with a faint bruise where my eye used to be black.

When I walk back into the room, my mother has her back to the door.

"Mum…" I say; my voice timid. She turns around and I watch her expression change from disappointment to sympathy.

"Oh Katniss…" she whispers, walking slowly towards me before encircling me in a hug.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be" I tell her. "It wasn't your fault."

She pulls away from the hug but takes my hand.

"Come on" I follow her back to where Gale is standing.

"Katniss" he starts.

"Shut up." My mother seems to even surprise herself a little bit. "She's not marrying you Gale."

"Mrs Everdeen…"

"Don't talk to my mother Gale." I tell him. "Neither of us wants to hear what you have to say. So leave." He opens his mouth to say something, butsighs and looks at his feet.

"Very well." he turns and heads for the door.

"Gale, wait" I stop him, he faces me with a hopeful expression. I follow him into the hall, no one follows me. When we're alone I take a deep breath before saying anything.

"If you ever come near me or my family again, I will show everyone what you did to me. Everyone. And I mean it. I don't want to talk to you, see you or hear you ever again. And that goes for all of us. Peeta. My mother. Prim. Or you'll have me to deal with, even if it's the last thing I do." He leans down so his lips are level with my ear.

"I'll keep that in mind." He whispers, before turning towards the door. Before leaving, he looks back at me.

"Mark my words, Miss Everdeen, You haven't seen the last of me. I. Will. Have you."

His tone was sickening and worrying but I don't let him show what he'd done to me. I Swallow my emotions and keep a straight face as he flashes a poisonous smile. He closes the door behind him and I let out a short sigh of relief.

"Kat, are you ok?" Peeta surprises me and places his hand on my shoulder. I touch it, but don't hold it, still keeping my stare fixed on the door.

"Kat? Katniss…"

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine" I say, facing him and faking a smile. He hugs me tight and whispers in my ear.

"I know you're not"

"Sorry" is all I can manage to say. He looks me in the eyes before kissing me forehead and taking my hand.

After that nobody says anything about the matter at all. We continue on with the day as normal, and Peeta stays for dinner.

"So, how is your family, Peeta?" My mother asks him politely.

"Good. Since I graduated we've managed to get a lot more done at the bakery" he says.

The small talk continues through the evening, although I remain practically silent for the majority of the time, only speaking when I've been asked a question, and even then I only answer with single words. When I do speak up, it causes a whole new conversation to start.

"I'm going to go and get some sleep" I say, excusing myself from the table.

"Wait, Katniss, would you mind just sitting back down for a minute" My mother calls. I do as she says and look at her questioningly.

"The thing is, Kat, I'm still a little worried about…"

"Gale." I finish her sentence.

"Right. Well the thing is, say he were to get in somehow. He looked very angry when he found out that you wouldn't marry him. And I don't think slapping him would have helped much."

"What exactly are you saying?"

"Well we need some sort of plan. Because, if he did manage to get in… Well you're still not fully recovered and lord knows that I would be no match against him, never mind Prim. Perhaps you could sleep in a different room tonight? Or hide somewhere he couldn't find you?"

"He knows this house like the back of his hand, it would never work" I point out.

"If you don't mind me interrupting" Peeta chips in. "I have a suggestion."

"Ok…"

"Well. You see, my parents are going to look after my cousins while my aunt's in the capitol, and Rye's spending the week at his girlfriend's. Adrian's never, and if he is he'll get in late… so. Well. If you wanted to. I. Umm. Well, you could stay at mine…"

I look at my mother, who looks at me with the same expression. We communicate non-verbally, almost entirely with our eyebrows, before my mother turns to look at Peeta.

"As long as you're sure that it wouldn't inconvenience you in any way, Peeta, and of course Katniss is ok with it, that would be great."

Everyone stops and looks at me. Even Prim, who was in the middle of taking out our dishes, stops dead in her tracks to look at me. I look at Peeta, who seems hopeful yet his eyes are nervous.

"I would love to."

**New chapters soon to come! Also, I've been thinking about a Sherlock fanfic, so if any of you are fans (of the show or the idea) then please let me know! Love you all, thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here it is chaps, chapter 7. I'm really glad you all like this and can't tell you enough how much it means to you to read such nice reviews and to get so much lovely feedback. **

**As for other news, could you please message me or let me know in a review whether you think I should go ahead with a Sherlock fanfiction, Your thoughts on that would be great. **

**Don't forget to Review/favourite/follow!  
DFTBA ~MadcapScribbler**

Walking through the door to Peeta's house was like walking through the door to another world. I guess I should've expected that, considering he lives in the merchant part of 12, other than the seam. But really, words can't explain how different his house is.

For a start, it's a lot bigger. There are more rooms too. From what I have seen, there is the living room, dining room and kitchen, bathroom, office and 4 bedrooms. This however, does not mean that Peeta is rich. In fact, like everyone else in 12, he is quite the opposite. In every district the rule is the same; you get allocated a house after marriage, depending on your profession and likelihood of having children. Ok so having children is a necessity, a law even, but what they actually mean by 'likelihood of having children' is how stupid they recon you are and how many children you will have by accident. Unfortunately (it is well known throughout the district) the Mellark's already had one baby, and another on the way. These kids would one day grow up to have Peeta as their younger brother. The Mellark's were given a big house to provide shelter to their big family.

I sit attentively on a chair in the dining room, watching Peeta as he just sorts out this and that around the house. When he's done he turns to me.

"You've had a rough day, are you tired?"

I nod slightly and follow him into a room. It is reasonably sized for a bedroom, the walls painted off-white with a large bed in the middle. All in all, the room feels safe. Well, as safe as you can get in district 12.

"You can sleep in my room tonight." He tells me, fluffing up cushions and smoothing out the quilt. "I'll be in the room next door if you need me, I… er… well. Not that you will need me, I don't suppose. But even so if you do-"

"Peeta." I interrupt, he looks up at me, mid babble. "I don't want to throw you out of your own room, seriously, I'll sleep on the sofa"

"No, that's fine. You sleep in here, seriously."

"…Alright" I sigh.

When he leaves, I get changed and lie down. The room is so weird, so different. I don't mind though. I like the change. I close my eyes and start to fall asleep when I suddenly feel trapped. All of a sudden I can see Prim. She's screaming and crying but I can't move, as much as I struggle, I can't move. That's when I see him. Gale. He walks slowly towards her, without saying a word. I watch as he turns his back on me and faces her. She looks so weak and lifeless. The same hunting knife that he had that night is in his back pocket. I try and run, hit, stop him from hurting her but I can't. I can't do anything but scream as he draws on her face with the blade, starting at her lips and working his way around everything before getting to her neck.

"Katniss! Katniss! Wake up!" I open my eyes and see Peeta towering over me. I can hear a loud screaming, and its minutes before I realise that it's coming from me. I stop screaming and burst into tears.

"Hey, shhhh. It's ok. It's alright" Peeta soothes, encircling me a hug. I curl up, cocooning myself in his arms, sobbing and blubbering and choking on my own tears. After a while, I stop and look up at him.

"Sorry" I whisper, rubbing my eyes.

"It's alright"

"I didn't mean to wake you" I sigh, realising I've just done yet another thing to add to my list of reasons I owe Peeta.

"No, it's ok. I wasn't really asleep anyway" He says. I can tell by the deep bags under his bloodshot eyes that he's not lying.

"At least you're ok." He smiles. "I thought you'd been murdered or something"

"No, it was just a bad dream."

"You get nightmares to, huh"

"_You get nightmares?"_ I ask, a little taken back.

"Oh not really. I just started getting them recently. What did you dream about?"

"Gale had Prim, and I couldn't do anything but watch" I put it bluntly, as if not to reawaken the memories. "What are yours about?"

"Well…" He sighs. "To be honest, they're mostly about losing you" Immediately after he says that, I inhale a sharp gasp and bite my lip. I've caused him so much pain, but he won't admit it. His eyes give him away. I take his head in my hands and kiss him. He pulls away.

"Katniss…"

"Shhh" I say, kissing him again.

When the kiss is over, we both sit in silence for a moment. We don't look at each other or even talk. Eventually, Peeta gets up to leave.

"Wait." I whisper, and grab his hand as he turns towards the door. He looks back at me. I do not get up. Instead I stay sitting and look up at him, because I do. I look up to him in everything he does.

"Stay with me?"

He shares a small smile with me and lies down on the bed. I lie next to him, one hand on his chest. He puts his arm over my shoulders and holds me like that until I fall asleep.

I'm woken up the next morning by the sound of people talking, just outside the room.

"Peeta, you know our Mother would go ballistic if she found out you brought your girlfriend back here while she was away." A voice that must be Peeta's brother, Adrian, says.

"Well to start she's not my girlfriend." I hear Peeta this time.

"Oh, sorry, so you brought some girl home and slept with her. That sounds much better."

"I didn't sleep with her" he hisses, his voice ringing with defence.

"Really? Because it looks like you slept with her."

"Well I didn't. And anyway, why would it matter, you bring girls home all the time."

"Yeah but I don't leave the door open so that anyone can find us in the morning."

I lie there, not sure whether I should go and stop them talking about whether or not me and Peeta had sex, or if the whole thing would be too awkward. Eventually, I decide that it's not going to be more awkward than it already is, so I get up and walk to the door. Adrian is two years older than me, he was in the same class as Gale at school and I've never actually met him. He looks a lot like Peeta, only his hair and eyes are brown and he is a bit taller.

"Hey" I mumble to Peeta before turning to his brother.

"Peeta didn't sleep with me." I take a deep breath before saying the next bit. "He saved me"

"Huh?"

"He saved my life. I'd be dead if he didn't find me a few weeks ago and I'm here because he thought I would be safer spending the night here."

"Saved you from what, where did he… find you?" Adrian seems confused, but you can see that compassion was another thing he shared with his brother.

"Kat, you don't have to talk about it if you don't-" Peeta interrupts.

"No, I… I want to."

"He saved me from my… _ex-boyfriend?" _I look at Peeta to see if they were the right words. He nods slightly and I carry on.

"My younger sister found me half dead on the floor in my house after me and him had an argument. Peeta was the first one she found, and he saved me." I say, finally realising the hideous reality of it all.

Peeta Mellark saved my life.

**New chapters soon, but I am back at school next week so they won't be as frequent as they have been :( Thanks for reading! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry this chapter took so long guys, like I said, I've been back at school so I haven't had much time to write. I apologise especially to Jade, who reviewed this every day for at least a week, but even she gave up eventually (sorry Jade :( ) **

**I hope you like this, I cant be certain when the next chapter will be up, so please don't be disappointed if it takes a while, I'll make it up to you somehow. **

**Love you all, my lovely readers. Please don't forget to Favourite/Follow/Review.  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x**

After explaining everything that happened, Adrian Mellark gave me a hug. That wasn't the most surprising thing that happened, either. No, the most surprising thing that happened was that I laughed. Not a full on hysterical laugh, or a fake laugh, a laugh of freedom. A real laugh that stood for everything that I don't have, but still manage to live without.

Later, after having a quick shower and getting changed back into the clothes I brought with me, I make my way to the kitchen. Peeta is in the shower but I find Adrian in the kitchen, cleaning or something.  
"Oh, hey" He smiles, drying his hands with a tea towel. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. Well I'm good actually." He smiles wider when he thinks I can't see him.

"Good, right, you look hungry. Are you staying for breakfast?"

"Um. Alright" I smile, going back into awkward mode

"Ok, but before I sort breakfast, do you mind if I have a word?" His voice is serious and low.

"Yeah, sure" I say.

We both take a seat at the table.  
"I want to say thank you" I look up at him.

"What?"

"Thank you. For making my brother happy again. I know he seems like the type of guy that's happy all the time, and well. He's not. Just because he smiles a lot doesn't mean he's not dying inside. I can see that when he's with you, the smile's real."

"I. I'm glad someone else sees it. Not the real smile that is. I'm glad it's not just me that notices the fear and sadness in his eyes" I whisper.

"I know you've been through a lot, but so has he. And although it's not visible, it's noticeable. He loves you Katniss."

"I think I love him"

"Then tell him. Tell him you love him and don't let him go."

"I will."

Later that morning, once Adrian has left and Peeta is dressed, he walks into the room and sits in silence. Neither of us says a word and I am left debating to myself what to say. What to do. I stand up and move so I'm sitting with him. I examine his face in silence; each freckle, every crease. The creases in particular get me thinking. I cannot establish a difference between the creases cause by pain and frowning, and those that were caused by joy and laughter. Peeta is an enigma and nobody in this world, in _his_ world, knows as much as he's told me. I do not need to sit and wander about the stories behind the bags under his eyes, and the memories that come with the scars on his hands. Simply because I lived them with him. I honestly believe that since that day when Peeta saw me again in the bakery, after all that time, he's changed; evolved from an almost entirely blank canvas waiting for something to happen, for someone to paint an adventurous picture on his life. I find myself curling into his arms and holding his hands and he wraps me in warmth.

"I love you Peeta"

"I love you too"

"No. I mean it. I really, truly mean it." I say sitting up a bit and looking him dead in the eyes. "I _love _you. I love you I love you I love you. I just need you to know that. Ok?"

"Katniss I– " I watch as his eyes widen in horror as he catches sight of something out of the window. "Quick get upstairs."

"What, Peeta, what's going on" I manage to get out as be ushers me up the stairs n some sort of concerned frenzy  
"There's no time to explain, just. Err, hide in here" He says, pulling me away from the stairs and into an airing cupboard. I don't question him out loud, even though I'm very confused, mainly because he seemed so distraught.

I stay still and silent in the cupboard as I watch Peeta through the slight downward crack in the cupboard door. He stares silently at the door and waits. Moments later, there is a knock at the door. I watch as Peeta braces himself before slowly but surely going to answer it. I can't see who's at the door, but anticipate the arrival of someone new in the house. Someone Peeta didn't want to find out where I was; someone dangerous.

Not that I needed any conformation at all, but Gale's voice assured me that Peeta had reason to be concerned. I listen intently; pressing my ear against the airing cupboard door to make sure I could hear everything. Their voices are muffled and

"So, Gale, um… Any reason you… stopped by?"

"Oh, well. It's nothing really. I just heard that Katniss had gone missing. Her mum told me that she didn't come back last night. It's nothing really, she probably just ran off after I shocked her."

"Well." I can almost hear Peeta swallow "A proposal can be a big thing for some people. She was probably just a bit overwhelmed."

"Oh come on Peeta, don't be dumb."

"Huh?"

"I know you know what I did to her. I know you know those terrible things I did. All of them." Gale cries. "Who was I to think that she would marry me.I did _horrible _things. _Horrible, terrible things, _and I can't take them back. Never."

"Well, I err. I wouldn't say never, I. Umm."

"Oh goddamn it Peeta, drop the act, I know you know where she is!" Gale snaps. I feel my body tense at his tone. I know it too well.  
"Now shut up, stop playing and tell me where she is!" he demands. I watch as Gale grabs Peeta by the neck and pins him to the wall. Peeta seems to remain calm and answers with a civil tone to his voice.

"I don't know where she is." Gale tightens the grip around his neck.

"Quit the bullshit."

"Suppose I did know where she was… What in heaven makes you think I would tell you? _I'd rather die before telling you."_

"Be careful what you wish for, Peeta" Gale's voice was almost too quiet to hear. I swallow back my scream when what he says finally registers in my brain.

"Besides, did you not here about the arsons?"

"Huh?" Peeta manages to get out once the grip on his neck is released.

"The fires. Deliberate house fires." Peeta's eyes flash towards mine for half a second. Gale lets out a small laugh.

"You've blown it Peeta. Did you know a mother always looks to her child at the mention of a fire. You don't have a child, but you've got the second best thing." Peeta doesn't respond.

I sit frozen in my hiding place as Gale takes short slow steps toward the airing cupboard. I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I wait for the door to open.

But it doesn't.


	9. Chapter 9

**Ooh, look I finished it quickly. Quicker that I expected to be honest, but oh well. Hope you like this chapter I really like it!**

**Don't forget to Favourite/Follow/Review  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x **

I don't remember much of what happened that day. I remember waiting. I remember readying myself for death. It felt weird. All the other times I've been scared of gale, I've pleaded in my head that I would live; it was as if I couldn't think of anything worse than death. But that one time it was different. I was ready to die. Ready to leave my family, my friends… Peeta. No, I don't think I could have readied myself for leaving him behind. Not yet.

But I didn't die. I don't know how, I don't know why and I don't remember anything after a certain point. Which also makes me curious as to wear I am. I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed. It's not my bed, and I'm pretty sure it isn't Peeta's. It's definitely not Gale's. The room I'm in is small, and rather empty. The only things here are the bed and a chair. There is an open doorway into another room with no door in it. I debate whether or not to go and look around, seeing as I have no idea where I am.

After a while, I decide it's probably best, so I get up and slowly make my way to the door. I feel surprisingly light, as if I'm walking on air, but my brain quickly adjusts to the feeling and eventually everything is back to normal.

When I get to the doorway, I stand in silence as I take in the room. It is only seconds before I realise where I am and who I'm with.

"Peeta…" I whisper, approaching him slowly, as he seems a bit uneasy. He turns to face me, and some sort of relief paints his face colourful again.

"You're up"

"Yeah. How did I get here."

"Your mother saw Gale making his way to my house and got there just in time. She made something up about his mother looking for him and he had to leave before he could get to you. Then she gave me a box of tablets, a key and this…" he says, holding up a small brown envelope "…The tablets made you sleep. She knew you wouldn't want to come here so told me to get you to take them and to bring you here"

"_You drugged me?" _I snap, completely lost for words at his thoughtlessness.

"I had to. Gale doesn't know about here, does he?"

"No. I didn't think anyone did… apart from…"

"I think I should leave you to read this" he says, handing me the envelope "he explains everything. I'll be in the other room if you need me." and with that, he gets up and leaves.

I clutch the envelope for a while, not daring to open it; but eventually the tension gets to me and I have to see what's inside. Just as I had guessed, a perfectly handwritten letter is inside it.

_My dearest Katniss, _

_If you are reading this, it means that I am no more. I'm sorry I can't be there to help you through whatever horrible experience has made your mother hand you this letter, but I want you to know that I am still here, cheering you on. _

_As I write this letter, you have just gone to bed. You are currently 10 years old and mad as a box of frogs. Today we went hunting and I helped you with your swimming. We also visited "the forest house" as you like to call it, and as I was watching you poke and prod the fire, I realised something. I am not going to be there with you forever. I will not be there to protect you through everything, which breaks my heart. This is why, I will hand your mother this letter and the only spare key to "the forest house" and instruct her to only ever give them to you in times of desperate need. I really hope you never have to read this letter. _

_I don't know how old you are, if you are reading this letter, and therefore do not know how long ago this day was. If you do remember, I made you promise not to tell anyone about the whereabouts of "the forest house" and you told me you crossed your heart and hoped to die. I trust that you kept that promise. You always were good with promises. _

_I hope you know I'm proud of you. If you're reading this, you must have suffered a great deal and the fact that you're still going makes me the proudest man ever to have walked that sad excuse for a planet. Keep going sweetheart. I know that you will or have already grown up to be a beautiful, strong, courageous woman and I love you. _

_Love always,_

_Dad. _

I sit in tears as I remember the exact day that he mentioned. Just as he had written it, I had been swimming and then he brought be here, to this secluded house in the forest; that no one but us knew about. Over time, it got forgotten with his life, but not his memory. I sniff and try to wipe away the tears, I've cried too much already.

I wait and drown in my memories, trying to make sense of it all. I've spent my entire life looking after Prim and my mother but not myself, and all along I've had my father and Peeta looking out for my; watching my back.

Peeta joins me after a while. He says nothing but holds me as I sob and we stay like that until it's dark.

"I'm sorry"

"Shhh" Peeta rubs circles on my back. "Don't be."

"I shouldn't have snapped at you about the sleeping pills. You did the right thing."

"I should've asked you"

"Never mind, it's happened now. What we need to do is think about what happens next."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean we have to decide what to do. I want to be able to live my life, Peeta. And I want to live it with you. But to have a chance at doing that, we need to figure out how to end this thing with gale. He's become sadistic and verging on unwell. But I can't go back to the district. There's no way that I'll go back to that place. Not for a while anyway. So my question to you is, what do we do?"

Peeta considers everything I've said in hopeful silence. I watch his expression change with his ideas, and can only imagine what is going through his head.

"I agree with you, we can't go back to the district, not properly, not for a while, so here's what we do. We stay here. At night, we will go to your house in the district, gale won't be there I promise, and we get your stuff and some normal household items that might be handy, this is when you can explain to your mother and Prim what is happening and gives you a chance to say goodbye for a while. Then we go to mine; I will get some money, some clothes and other things that might be handy. I can get my Adrian to cover for me. Then we come back here and by morning we are safe. We are free."

"Peeta… we're free…" I repeat, astonished. Peeta confirms it with a nod.

"We're free"


	10. Chapter 10

**Here is Chapter 10! I can't believe I'm already at chapter 10, but there you go. Thank's to everyone that's read from the start, and to any readers I picked up on the way, you guys are all awesome!**

**Don't forget to Favourite/Follow/Review  
DFTBA  
~MadcapScribbler x**

When it's dark enough, Peeta and I set off for the district. It's silent and empty, which makes it easy to get to my mother's house unnoticed. The door isn't locked when we get there, but it never is so I knock quietly just to let them know I'm in.

When I get in the house, my mother is still doing some of prims washing for school. She looks up at me, somewhat surprised at my sudden appearance.

"Katniss, what are you doing here? Is Peeta with you?"

"No. He's gone to get his stuff. And I'm here to get mine"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm leaving. Not forever, but for a while at least. I've come to get my things."

"But, where will you go?"

"The forest house"

"Oh, Peeta gave you the letter?" she asks, getting up and drying her hands on a tea towel. I nod, trying not to think about the letter too much.

I run upstairs after explaining everything to my mother. She told me that she will get some things together for me, along with a bit of food; but I have to get my clothes and talk to prim.

When I get to the bedroom, I find prim lying wide awake on the bed. I wave at her before going straight to the cupboard. Whilst I gather my belongings, I watch from the corner of my eye as Prim sits up and looks at me.

"What are you doing?" She asks, rubbing her eyes.

"Getting my stuff Prim, try and get back to sleep."

"Why are you getting your stuff"

"Because I'm leaving"

"Where are you going?"

"Don't you worry about that." I say, standing up when I've collected my things, I place them in the bed before walking to the door and grabbing my bag. Prim stays quiet as I pack, but I can tell that she was definitely holding back. When I'm done I look up at her.

"When will you be back?"

"…I… I don't know" I answer. She looks confused and upset and disappointed; almost as if she's about to cry. I go and sit on the end of her bed.

"I'm going to miss you, little duck."

"Me too."

"I'll be back by summer though. I'll definitely be back before…" I can't bring myself to say it.

"The reaping?" She finishes my sentence for me.

"Right." I confirm. "I'll be back before then, I promise. And I'll visit. On birthdays and Christmas. Maybe not my birthday, but yours." Prim nods at all of the information I give her.

"You have to bring me presents" She jokes. I give a small half-hearted laugh and nod.

"Of course I will little duck. Now, get back to sleep. Peeta will be here soon and I have to say a proper goodbye to mum" I tell her, before giving her a hug and then leaving the room.

My mother had packed a bag full with a sheet and a blanket, two plates and some cutlery, a gas lamp, some matches, some medical equipment and herbs, some money and a bit of food. I thanked her and we said our goodbyes before I grabbed my father's old hunting jacket and left the house.

Sure enough, Peeta was waiting for me at the fence with a bag full of things.

"Hey" I whisper.

"Hey" he whisper's back, taking my hand in his. "Ready?"

"Yes" I exhale heavily as the words roll out from my lips.

"Then let's go"

* * *

The next morning, I wake up next to Peeta just as the sun is rising. I turn just slightly to see if Peeta is awake, before fully turning onto my side and slipping under his arm. I close my eyes and shut out the world. We did it. I think to myself. We really did.

"Hey" He whispers.

"Hi" I whisper back, not opening my eyes.

"Did you sleep well" he voice is just added proof that he's tired.

"Very" I confirm.

"Good." He says, tightening his grip around me. For once, though, it's comforting.

Whenever Gale did things, they used to be scary. If he tightened his grip around me or held my hand harder, it was to make sure I couldn't get away. To scare me into staying with him. To threaten me into not leaving. Peeta however, does it to show me he's there. To prove to me that he's got me and he's not going to let me fall away again. I won't need to worry about being carried away into an ocean of depression and hate. And do you know the best thing? Peeta doesn't even realise he's doing it.

Later on that morning, when we're both properly awake and the morning is ready to start, we get up. I get dressed and quickly braid my hair as Peeta goes to look through the food that we brought yesterday. I stare at my bow in the corner of the room. It's my first one, the one my father made for me; I picked it up on the way back to the house last night.

"Hey, Peeta!" I shout from the bedroom.

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm going to go hunting" I say grabbing my jacket from the table, fixing my bow on my back and picking up my arrows from by the fire place.

"Ok…" he says "Um, here…" He hands me a small bread roll "It should keep you going for the morning.

"Thanks" I smile before giving him a lingering hug. I'm just about to leave when he grabs my hand and spins me round.

"Katniss wait"

"Wha-"

He surprises me with a kiss. But it's not a bad surprise. It's a wonderful surprise. Like waking up on Christmas morning and finding that you've got everything you've ever wanted. The kind of kiss that creates fireworks and releases butterflies all at the same time. The kind of kiss that is slow and fast, perfect and imperfect. I open my eyes and look into his. Both our hearts are racing; I can feel his against mine.

"I love you" He whispers. I small smile breaks onto my face.

"I love you too"

* * *

Whilst hunting I notice how quiet it is. Not literally, but emotionally; everything has slowed down. There is no news of hunger and starvation, or death and illness, and certainly nothing terrible happening in my own life.

I hunt for a few hours and enjoy the fact that, for once, ignorance _is _bliss. But that's when I saw him. I saw Gale, I'm sure of it. When I looked back he was gone. And then he was there again, in another place. He appeared and disappeared over and over and I heard his voice slither through my ears and it repeated itself over and over and over and that's when everything went dark.

**Dun Dun Duuuuun Cliffhanger. Sorry guys, I won't be able to post for a few days, because I won't be near a computer, but trust me; there'll be a good chapter up when I'm back!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Taa daa! I managed to write one quickly. Oh and I like this one too! I hope you guys like it, because that's a little bit more important than my opinion. Oh well, Love you all for reading. Sorry my uploads aren't the most consistent, but at least you get a cute little surprise each time! Just a warning, this is one that is left open. Not a cliff hanger, but it will leave you thinking [hopefully]  
Love you all! Don't forget to Review/Favourite/Follow!  
DFTBA  
~MadcapScribbler.**

I wake up screaming.  
"Shhh. Shh, Kat it's ok, everything's fine." Peeta instantly appears at my side, ready to hold me.

"I saw him Peeta, I saw him."

"No, you didn't see anyone"

"No, I saw him, Gale, he was there, he was…"

"You blacked out Katniss, that's all. It was just a bad dream, it's ok."

"Just a bad dream?"

"Just a bad dream." He confirms, before kissing my forehead and laying me back down to sleep. He rolls over to get off the bed but I squeeze his hand and don't let go.

"Don't go. I don't have nightmares when you're around." I watch as Peeta opens his mouth to talk but shuts it immediately.

"Ok" he nods "But only because you frown less when you're asleep"

When I wake up properly, Peeta is still lying with me.

"You're so beautiful" He whispers. "You should smile more often."

"shut up" I joke tiredly.

"Ok, you got me; you're beautiful all the time" He whispers against my lips, finishing the sentence with a kiss. I give him a sleepy smile before a thought comes into mind. I guess I must stop smiling, because Peeta catches on.

"What?"

"I… Oh… I just thought… Peeta what did you think life would be like in when you grew up. I mean when you were a kid?"

"When I was a kid?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know… I guess… Well I always thought things would get better. And liked to imagine marrying… Someone."

"And kids?"

"Surprisingly, I didn't. Not originally, anyway. But then-" he cuts himself off, looking at me with sympathetic eyes. "But then something happened and I changed my mind"

"Something?"

"Yeah…"

"What?"

"I. I'd rather not talk about it. What about you? What were your plans for the future when you were a kid?"

"I didn't have any." I say, avoiding his glare. "Not that I can remember anyway. I guess I never really wanted to get married or have kids or anything. And then I met Gale and…" I trail off.

"…and?"

"Well Gale's dreams and plans became mine. He wanted to marry me, I wanted to marry him. He told me to have an abortion, I had one. I guess he took my life away from me." I stop when I see Peeta's expression. He looks angry, like it's his fault.

"She hit me" He whispers.

"Peeta, what?" I can barely make my words audible.

"My mother, she hit me. Throughout my childhood. She hit me and kicked me and burnt me and scarred me and I did nothing to retaliate. It's what changed my mind about kids. I... I always swore I'd do a better job than she did with loving her family. She treated my dad like he was nothing, as well. That's why I hated it Katniss, I hated what he did to you and I hated that you put up with it because deep down, that was my dad and my brothers and me. You are me, when I was younger. The only difference is that you could leave him, you have left him. He wasn't bound to you with blood and flesh and DNA and me and my mother were. So I promise you, whatever happens, whatever circumstances I will make sure that you get what you want. That your dreams and plans will be yours and yours only. And I will make sure that you are never faced with anyone like that again. You're beautiful Katniss, and you should be made to feel it. So I'm telling you now, that I love you. I always have and always will and that is a promise."

"Peeta…"

"No. I. Let's not talk about it. Just know that I love you." He whispers before kissing me so passionately that I have to reach up with an extended spine just to keep the contact between our lips.

"I want you to know something too. I may not necessarily be happy. But there's no one else I'd rather be unhappy with."

The next few days tick slowly by. Peeta gets happier and I get better and eventually I finally convince him to let me go hunting, with the one condition that he has to come with me. To start with I was against the idea but eventually, I grew to like it.

The day was actually quite nice. I did some hunting while Peeta watched in silence, afraid he'd scare the animals. Then we went for a short walk before I decided to go swimming. We got to the lake; I took off my jacket and jumped in, fully clothed. The water was freezing but somewhat exciting and energizing. Peeta laughs at me, refusing to come and join me in the water; though he does roll up his trousers and dip his feet in.

"This is freezing, how can you swim in it?" He laughs.

"Well, I'm not afraid of water; unlike some people" I joke.

"I'm not afraid of water"

"Oh really?" I say, exaggerating my words. "You're not are you?"

"No" he states.

"So… you wouldn't mind if I did this?" I laugh as I splash a handful or two of water towards him.

"Oh you did not just do-"

"Shh!" I hiss, holding a finger to my lips and disregarding him with the other hand.

"What?" he whispers.

"Listen"

We both sit in silence; me too afraid to move or speak, Peeta too curious as to what is happening. Eventually when I'm sure of the sound, and its location, I slowly and carefully pull myself out of the water and start to walk. I move on my tip toes and pray to God that I don't step on anything that will snap or hurt me. I stop at a clearing, hearing the faint, but almost inaudible crunches of dry earth beneath Peeta's feet. He doesn't question me: he does nothing but place on hand on my shoulder.

When I see it I gasp sharply, and am about to scream but Peeta covers my mouth with his hand.  
"Let's go" he whispers just next to my ear. He takes my hand and I have to wait a second before allowing myself to move. He tugs on my arm a little to get my attention. I turn to face him and give him a short nod before following.

I don't say anything for the entire walk back to the forest house. I don't even say anything when we're there. I sit by the fire for what seems like minutes and hours and days and weeks all at the same time. I don't remember blinking or closing my eyes but I don't see anything. I don't see anything in front of me anyway. Instead my vision is constantly looping the minor seconds of imagery that were displayed before me not moments ago. I constantly think of the delicate structure standing by the embodiment of what can only be described as pure evil and terror. The bruises that were failed to be covered on her wrists and arms. The fists that were clenched before her.

No matter how hard I try I know I won't be able to forget seeing Madge, my best friend, and Gale, my worst nightmare. The lust in her eyes was just like that of my own a few months ago. Just before the worst of times. The yearning and longing to be with him all the time no matter what he called you, told you or did to you.

The fact it was Madge made it worse. Sweet, lovely, innocent Madge. She didn't deserve it. And after it all, I know that it's my fault. Gale knows more that anyone that after Prim; Madge is the most important person in my life. That is until Peeta came around. But Peeta is hidden with me, and Prim is safe with my mother. Madge's family are much too busy to notice any one new in her life. There wouldn't notice her gone, they wouldn't notice her pain. And Madge is much too proud to tell anyone that she's suffering. Her pain will go unnoticed, like mine, but I don't know if she will have a Peeta of her own. If I could, I would save her. But by saving her, I'm risking my life, Peeta's life and endangering Prim and my mother.

In the end I'm trapped in a loop, thinking the same things which lead to the next and continue on in a circle. Why did it have to be her? Not Madge. Anyone but Madge.


	12. Chapter 12

**What's this, another chapter? This quick? Why yes, I've had a lot more free time than I expected, so here you go guys. Hope you like this chapter, it's a bit longer than some of the others, but don't let that put you off.  
Don't forget to favourite/follow/review  
DFTBA  
~MadcapScribbler x**

The next few days are silent. I'm sure that noises were made, but I chose not to hear them. I don't remember sleeping; or moving from the table in fact. Peeta sat with me a few times. This of course was after he stopped attempting to get me to eat or talk to him. When he did give up, he just did what I did. Sat in silence, acknowledging each other's existence but doing nothing about it.

This morning, however, was different. I was woken by Peeta. I had fallen asleep at the table, so he joined me there, taking the seat next to me. He takes my hand in his, but I don't move.

"Katniss…" I hear him, but not properly. "Katniss look at me, please" I move my head to look at him, eye contact is the last thing to catch up.

"You're scaring me Kat." He says. His voice is still hollow, quiet and cold.

"Sorry" I mouth, not being able to put enough breath behind my words.

"I'm just worried about you. You haven't spoken for days. You won't eat. And the pitiful amount of sleep you've had has all been at the table. You need to do something, Kat. I know how hard everything is, but ignoring everything and everyone won't make the situation any better."

"What time is it?" I mutter under my breath; eye's closed, breathing heavy.

"Early."

"How early"

"Only just sunrise."

"Would you say it's before 5am?"

"Uh, yeah I guess. Why?" Peeta's voice remains almost too quiet to hear.

"I want to see her" I sigh.

"What?"

"We're going to the district and I'm going to see her."

"Kat, it's way too early. If you go know, she'll be asleep"

"No she won't. The servants at hers will be asleep. So will her parents. The mayor is never up before 6:30 and the servants usually get up at 5:30. Madge will be awake. Quickly, we don't have much time." I say as I stand instantly, wobbling a bit before almost falling over completely. Peeta jumps to his feet to steady me.

"You're not going like this. You have to eat"

"Fine" I say, sitting back down.

* * *

After Peeta's forced me to eat a slice of bread and drink some water, I stand up and wrap up warm. It's spring, but it's still early so the air will be cold.

Peeta and I walk through the forest, the ground cold, frozen and heavy underfoot. As we arrive nearer the district, the air becomes heavy with a smell that I have not missed. Burning coal smoke and ashes. I haven't breathed in such choking air for a while and it almost becomes overwhelming, but I just do up my jacket over my nose and mouth and carry on.

The district looks dull and lifeless compared to our forest paradise. For once, I understand the meaning of the phrase: ignorance is bliss. Our little world let us live our little lives; without the constant worry of our friends and family and all of their troubles and traumas.

Madge's house is in the centre of the district, which admittedly isn't that far from anything. Perhaps a five minute walk from my old house in the seam. The clock that sits above the justice building's not-so-grand-entrance says 4:45. I smile a little knowing that Madge will be up and dressed and probably getting a drink or drinking it right about now.

I decide that going round to the back door that leads into the kitchen is probably a good idea, and my thoughts are confirmed when I make my way towards the door and see Madge in the window. She does not see me, however, so I go to the door and knock. The wooden frame is harsh against my freezing fingers.

"I'll wait out here" Peeta says "call me if you need me." I nod and turn back to face the door.

When it opens, Madge is surprisingly confused.

"Katniss…" she asks. I want to cry at her tone. She is tired and weary and exhausted and not at all herself.

"Madge" I clench my lips together; mainly because it's cold but also because I'm so nervous.

"Uh, come in, what are you doing here?" It's like she's not even Madge any more. When I'm in and I see her under proper lights, I notice that she's so thin and frail. Her skin is pale and she has bags under her eyes that are darker than the night.

"I need to talk to you."

"Your mum, said that you'd gone on a tour of the districts, but I. I wasn't sure so I asked gale… and he said he didn't know where you'd gone either. He. He told me you two had a fight. He wouldn't tell me any more than that."

"It doesn't matter where I went Madge."

"Why are you here, Katniss?"

"I know about you and Gale"

"And what? You're jealous, is that it? Because from what I hear it was you that left him Katniss. You said no."

"That's not why I'm here, either. He's dangerous, Madge. He's a monster."

"Oh stop it. You are jealous and you can't stand the fact that we're together" She hisses.

"NO!" I shout. "No. That isn't it. Madge, let me see your wrists."

"What?"

"Your wrists, let me see them" I say grabbing her hand and pulling up her sleeves

"Katniss! Get off of me!" She squeals, but stops when she realises it's too late.

"Madge. Tell me honestly how this happened" I say, motioning to the grey-purple bruises that line her wrist. She yanks her arm back and pulls her sleeve down again.

"It was an accident."

"Your accident, or his" I say, emotionless as she turns away. She doesn't answer and the room is filled with an uncomfortable silence.

"He promised he'd never do it again." She whispers. I hear the words in gale's voice and my cheek stings with memories.

"He said that to me too." I whisper. Then I remember something. I rush to the sink and splash water on my face.

"Katniss what are you doing."

"Proving a point" I say drying my face on a tea towel. "He said the same thing to me, yet I still have this" I say, turning to face her. I watch her as she slowly traces the scar on my face with her eyes. In total, the scar stretches from just under the corner of my eyebrow right down to the tip of my chin. It's hardly noticeable, but it stands out to me, so I desperately try to hide it or cover it every day with makeup; only a little, but still.

"What's that?"

"You know what it is"

"How did it happen?"

"I got into a fight"

"With who?"

"You know that too, Madge."

"No. He didn't. He couldn't. He loved you. He loved you as much as he loves me." She stutters incredulously.

"He never loved me" I choke on my words. "I don't think he's capable of love"

"No. No, he is. He loves me."

"Madge. We both know that that's not true. I'm sorry but I can't let him hurt you like he hurt me. You may think it's love, but that's not it" I look at her wrists, although they're covered up, the bruises are still there and we both know, it. "Love isn't putting up with the pain; it's finding someone that stops it." Madge starts to cry. And then it escalates into a screaming, crying fit.

"I know. I know he doesn't love me. I always have. But I convinced myself he did, because that's what I do. I cling on to the hopeless shards of possibility even when I know they will just break. And that's when it matters to people isn't it. When people have the ability to say 'stupid Madge, she should have known better.' Because I should have. I ruin people's relationships and careers and it's because I'm selfish and attention seeking and_ I should have known better_. Look at me. I let him do this. I let him think I was wanted and then believed him when he said he was the only one that wanted me. _That needed me. _ The only one that cared. So when he hit me and bruised me, I convinced myself that he was right, that it was ok for him to hurt me, because I am worthless…"

As Madge continues, I watch in horror as my best friend snaps. Beautiful, wonderful, brilliant Madge finally breaks. The tears and screams and words of anger and loathing and self-hatred continue to pour and spit out of her mouth and her eyes and ears and the girl I thought I knew introduces her real self to the world. And as I watch her unravel her emotions, I feel a strange and unwanted sense of pride. She finally told someone how she felt.

When the anger other emotions run out, she falls in a crying heap on the floor. I kneel by her; hugging her round her waist. Soothing her and trying desperately to calm her down.

"Why do I always do such stupid things?" she sniffs

"You don't. You're a lot smarter and tougher than you thing. Remember when you kicked Isaac Kendall in the balls for pushing prim over at school? I mean that was hilarious. He was at least twice your height but you still did it." She laughs half-heartedly and dries her eyes.

"Well I wasn't going to let him get away with it."

"Exactly. And are you going to let Gale get away with what he's done to you?"

"Yes." She sighs. "But there's no way in hell that I'm forgiving him for what he did to you."

"…thanks." I smile. Helping her up off the ground.

"No problem." She returns me smile. "Katniss… Before you go. Wherever it is you went, and I'm sure you'll go back to after this, did you go with him?"

"With who?"

"Kat, I'm not dumb and I'm not blind. Gale told me about Peeta. And I saw him outside when I answered the door."

"Oh. Yeah I did go with him." I say, looking at my feet.

"And… you're safe with him, wherever it is you live now?"

"Always." I smile at her. "I know that if I'm with him, I know that I'm safe. He saved me from the nightmare of my life and… I'm still figuring out how to thank him for that."

"I'm sure you'll find a way. You always do." I smile at her before turning to the door.

"Oh, wait, Kat. Before you go" I turn and face her. "Thank you for stopping me, before I did something I'd regret. And don't worry. Gale will get his comeuppance. Karma's a bitch sometimes."


	13. Chapter 13

**Caution: This chapter is rather fluffy. I also want to give you a heads up for violence and swearing, but you guys could've expected that so... I hope you like this chapter, and I want to give a massive thanks to Khaya and Mollie for helping me with this, I really like the story they came up with, and Mollie's way of explain it was wonderful. Olivia is actually based on Mollie, so you guys should know that she is one awesome, lovely person. Khaya's awesome too, she just doesn't have a character yet! Love you all, my beautiful readers!**

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After she says those words, I know I can trust Madge to do the right thing. I give her a hug and, before I can leave, Madge's sister Olivia walks into the kitchen.

"Oh, hi Katniss. How come you're here so early?" she gives me a curious smile.

Olivia is two years older than me and Madge. She is tall for her age and, like Madge, is conventionally attractive. The only major difference between the two siblings is their hair colour. Madge has golden blonde hair, whereas Olivia's hair is a shade of brown; similar to nutmeg. They both have the same grey-green eyes and identical dimples when they smile.

"Kat's just popped by to say sorry for not bringing any game for a while…" Madge lies.

"Oh, ok then." Olivia says. "Would you like to stay for breakfast?"

"No, I really should-" I am interrupted by a tap on the front door.

In the long mirror that stretches across the dining room, I can just make out a figure. It moves and I soon become aware that it is Gale. He leans against the window, peering through to see if anyone is around.

"It's Gale" I say, my voice uncontrollably quiet. Madge snaps her head towards me to see if I'm lying. I'm not.

"Well, if nobody's going to get it, I guess I will" Olivia sighs, striding towards the door.

"No!" Madge calls. "I…um…err" she looks to me with a face full of desperation. I return her look, completely brain dead.

"Oh, is someone too embarrassed to invite there boyfriend?" She teases. I place one hand on Madge's shoulder.

"I think you should tell her" I whisper. She shakes her head.

"Tell me what?" Olivia questions, starting to get annoyed. I see Madge sigh before pulling up her sleeves.

"Gale did this." She states bluntly.

"He what?!" Olivia almost shouts but stops herself.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you would freak out"

"I would, and do, have reason to." She hisses, her words rushed, "I'm going to talk to him"

"No!" Madge stops her again. "He did this to me and worse to Katniss, if he sees her, he'll kill her" Olivia turns to face me. I give her a small nod, confirming Madge's words.

"Go and hide in the pantry, both of you." She says. "I'm going to sort him out."

We do as she says and wait in the pantry. It's cold and echo-ey but that's a good thing, as it means we can hear everything almost perfectly. We listen as Olivia invites Gale in. The footsteps get louder and louder as they approach the kitchen.

"So Gale, would you like a drink?"

"Um, no thanks." He answers. My skin crawls at the false voice he uses, it'd fool me.

"What about ice?" she asks.

"Oh. I said I didn't want a drink." He corrects her

"I know, it's not for the drink" and with that, we hear I loud thud, then a crunch.

"Ah, you bitch!" Gale cries "I think you broke my nose."

"Oh, and what a shame." She says. "I think we're out of ice."

At this point, Madge and I get out, knowing that we're in safe hand if Olivia is there. Before he sees us, he runs towards Olivia, looking as if he's about to throw a punch. She simply pushes him, causing him to topple backwards.

"What the fuck is this for?" He says, struggling to get up. Olivia places one foot on his chest.

"The punch? That was for my little sister. This?" She presses her boot further into his skin, crushing his ribs by the looks of it. "This is for Katniss."

By now we've both managed to edge closer and closer until we've reached the point of almost standing on him with Olivia.

"I should've known." He laughs and shakes his head. You can tell it causes him more pain than it's worth but he continues as he's stubborn. "I mean, I'm surprised at you; Oli."

"Don't call me that. My name is Olivia."

"So, _Olivia_, when are you going to stop fighting other people's battles? I mean I can understand you fighting for Madge. Sweet, innocent, weak little Madge" He patronises "After all, she is your sister. But Katniss, now that is new." He turns his head to look up at me "Tell me Katniss, how are you? I'm glad that you abandoned your family and friends, I mean look what happened it Madge."

"Shut it Gale."

"Oh, sorry. Am I upsetting you? You knew it from the start didn't you? I never loved Madge, but look how long it took you to warn her. Too long Katniss. Imagine if that had been Prim? Or your beloved Mr Mellark. Trust me, babe, you're still mine. I still control you, wherever and whenever."

The blood is pouring out of his nose thick and fast, but that doesn't stop Olivia from kicking him in the face once more. Then with one swift movement, she's gripping him by the neck, forcing him to look her in the eyes.

"I swear to God, Gale; if you so much as look at either of these girls it won't just be your nose that's broken. Now get out of my house before I kick you in the balls so hard that you instantly lose the ability to have little satanic children." She says, pushing him through the dining room and out of the door.

Olivia and I watch in awe at the brilliance of Olivia's moves. Suddenly, Peeta rushes through the kitchen door, appearing behind us.

"Katniss are you ok, I heard something, but I didn't want to come in in case I caused more trouble!"

"I'm fine Peeta, but you just missed Olivia beat the hell out of Gale." Peeta laughs slightly.

"Sorry I missed it." He says.

"Crap Olivia, your hand looks pretty bad." Madge gasps.

"I think I broke it when I punched him."

"You ought to get that checked out." I tell her.

"No where'll be open, not this early." She points out.

"I know!" Peeta exclaims "My brother will be doing the morning shift at the bakery, we've got a first aid kit there and I could do with seeing him. Do you wanna come with?"

"Uh, sure." She turns to Madge "Would you mind staying here?" Madge shrugs

"Fine"

* * *

When we get to the Bakery. Peeta's brother quickly let us in before hurrying off with Peeta to go into the back kitchens to talk about god knows what.

I find the first aid kit and am about to start sorting out Olivia's broken hand, when Adrian stops me.

"I'll do that Kat; Peeta wants to talk to you, if you just wait in the kitchen?"

"I, uh. Oh. Ok." I say. Getting up. Peeta's not in the kitchen just yet, so I wait by the door, out of the way of Adrian and Olivia, but close enough to hear and see them.

"Ouch, that hand is mangled." He beams; he looks just like Peeta when he says it. "How did that happen?"

"I, uh, broke someone's nose."

"Ah, yeah that'd do it." He chuckles to himself. "Right, uh, may I?" asks, holding his hand. Her hand fits perfectly in his, and he kneels down to bind it in bandages. It looks reminiscent of a proposal.

"This is just great." She sighs "I now have a mangled hand to match my mangled face, my mother is going to be furious."

"What? Mangled face? I was just thinking your face is quite nice." He smiles at her.

"Hmm, thanks, but I think my mother would disagree with you"

"And why might that be?"

"Because she feels like she needs me to be married. To be fair, the capitol agrees with her, but I honestly don't see why she should be so concerned about my life. I should be allowed to find someone that I want to spend my life with. After all, it is my life. But no, that's ridiculous, _can you imagine? The mayors daughter, still not even betrothed by 21, how appalling._"

"ha, mums hey? They're the worst." No. I think. Yours was just particularly awful.

"I guess." She half-smiles.

"There" he says, standing up to face her. "All better?"

"All better" she smiles, properly this time.

"Uh, Olivia, right?"

"Right."

"Well, I. It's just. I… I'd love to get a drink with you at some point." He stutters nervously. Olivia smirks at his awkwardness and kisses him on the cheek.

"I would love to." She smiles "Why don't you drop round later today, I've got no plans"

"Uh… Ok" he gives out a small sigh of relief. "Yeah, ok, I'll do that."

I find myself smiling at them when I'm forced to focus on something else. Peeta spins me round, picks me up and kisses me.  
"Katniss, I love you." He says against my lips.

"I, I love you too" I stutter, a little taken back.

"But we need to talk"


	14. Chapter 14

**Two chapters in one night?! What? And another new character!? Yes my beautiful readers, here is another chapter. Love you all!  
**

**Don't forget to favourite/follow/review.  
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"um, sure, what do you… What's up?" I rephrase my question to try and not sound as worried as I am.

"Hey, Kat, calm down. I don't want to talk to you about anything bad."

"Ok…" I say; my voice now curious more than anything.

"So, Adrian told me that my parents are going to move in with my aunt. I don't know why, mum always liked it there more than here so I guess it's just fine. Anyway, seeing as they are moving out I was wandering: Will you move in with me?"

I feel my jaw actually drop. I mean, I know that Peeta and I already live together, but to me that was just for protection. Peeta was simply staying with me to keep me safe. But now, he's suggesting actually moving in with him. Living with him for the sake of living with him.

"Woah, Kat. Breathe" He says, supporting my back as he makes me sit down. I must have started to hyperventilate or choke or something. "It's ok; you don't have to if you don't want to. I mean we can go back to the forest house, or you can go and live with your family again. I didn't mean to pressure you at all."

"No, I want to." I take a deep breath in and look up into his eyes. "I want to move in with you."

He smiles at me as I jump to my feet.

"You are so beautiful" He says, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling my body closer to his.

"You're not so bad yourself" I grin before reaching up on my tiptoes to leave a soft kiss on his lips.

"Oi, you two. I'm glad that you're happy and whatever, but you two need to start pushing your weight. We're two employees down and god knows where Rye is."

"I thought he was with his girlfriend."

"Yeah, but which one? I watch as Peeta opens his mouth to say something but immediately snaps it back shut.

"Ok, point taken" He says after a moment's pause.

"Right, yeah. So, Peeta, you get baking and Katniss, if you don't mind, can you stick an apron on and do a bit of waitressing?"

"Uh, sure" I say slowly.

"Don't worry. We won't have any customers until lunch time. Until then you can help me lay out the cakes on display and clear up a bit."

"Ok." I smile, turning back to Peeta who hands me an apron.

* * *

Sure enough, by lunch time, the customers start trickling in asking for cakes and pastries and break and tea and hot chocolate. I take peoples orders, give them their food, clean empty tables and chat to Peeta and Adrian as I work.

By the end of the afternoon, when most of the customers have gone, I am left talking to Adrian while Peeta's gone to get our things from the forest house.

"…yeah so then he-" Adrian stops himself when someone walks through the door. It's a man; he looks about Adrian's age, if not a bit older, with darker hair. He's tall and muscly but not in quite the same way as Peeta and Adrian. He wears sunglasses and a heavy, black jacket. He nods at Adrian, who then returns his nod.

"Alright?" The man says.

"Eh." Adrian shrugs.

"Who's the chick?" he cocks his head towards me.

"Katniss" he states bluntly. Not looking up from the workspace that he's cleaning.

"She your girl?"

"No."

"Hey, sweetheart, you got a man?" he speaks to me in a patronising tone. I look at feet and smile to myself.

"Yeah. I do."

"Shame. I'm sure whoever he is, he aint nothing like me. Eh, if you ever get bored of him, you come and find me."

"Oi, that's your own brother you're slagging off there." Adrian shouts, throwing down the towel in frustration.

"What?" the man, who I'm now guessing is Peeta's oldest brother Rye, laughs. "No, that's not Peeta's girl"

"Yeah well how would you know?" Adrian is getting quite angry now, slowly edging closer towards his brother.

"Look at her, Adrian. She's hot." He takes a minute to look me up and down, before licking his lips and successfully making me feel uncomfortable. "Too hot for him."

"When was the last time you looked at him, Rye?"

"What?"

"Exactly, you wouldn't know. You've been too busy getting off your head, downing cheap liquors and sleeping around with the local scum."

"Oh come on. I've not been away that much." Rye protests.

"Oh yeah? How old is Peeta?" Everything about Adrian is angry. He stands there, breathing heavily after shouting, his face dead set on his brother. Rye doesn't answer.

"Exactly" Adrian hisses before storming out of the room.

I finish cleaning up, as I've been left in a room with someone who may as well be a complete stranger.

"So… _Katniss" _He starts. I internally sigh as he starts to talk.

"Rye" I acknowledge him.

"You and Peeta… Peeta and you… _really?_"

"Really" I say.

"Shame"

"Why?"

"Because… You and Me… Me and You. Yeah, that'd be better."

"Hmmm"

"So you agree."

"Not at all."

"Aww, how come?" he says, his voice reeks of fake desperation.

"Because you seem to be a bit of a jerk"

"Ooh, feisty. That's a big turn on"

"Is it now?"

"Oh you bet. You know you, in general, turn me on Katniss. My little Kitty Kat. Oh the thing's I'd do to you if you were my girl" his words slither across my skin, making me feel sick.

That's when I've noticed the door has opened.

"Katniss?" Peeta's voice sounds hurt. His eyes a shade of blue I've never seen before.

"Peeta." I can't say anything else; he's heard what his brother said and I know he's got the wrong idea. He stares at us both for a while, switching his gaze between me and rye. I can tell my face expresses nothing but devastation, whereas Rye wears a sly smile.

And that is when Peeta Mellark left the room.


	15. Chapter 15

**I have been busy writing this weekend! Here's another chapter. Oh and guys, I've decided that I will choose one review from each chapter and dedicate the next chapter to the person that wrote it. So this Chapter is dedicated to Hiddensecret564. Thanks for the review, this chapter's for you! **

**Don't forget to favourite/follow/review (especially if you want a chapter dedicated to you!)  
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I stand frozen where I am. Unable to follow him or leave. I start to feel the tears clouding my vision, and manage to turn my head to look at Rye's, now blurry, figure. I can't bring myself to say anything to him, so instead I shake my head, snapping my eyes shut. I try and run out of the room but Adrian, who's now calmed down a bit, walks in just as I want to walk out.

"Katniss?" He holds me by the shoulders, arms-length away from him, bending his knees to look me in the eyes. "Hey… Shhh. What's up?" He soothes as he brings me in for a hug.

I cry onto his shirt, which only makes it worse because I would much rather be crying in Peeta's arms then either of his brothers. Speaking of which, I can feel Rye watching me in the same creepy way as he has since I met him. Adrian rubs circles on my back, but I can tell his mind is something else. I can tell he's looking at Rye.

"Come on" he says "let's go somewhere else."

* * *

Adrian takes me out of the bakery and into what I'm guessing is his bedroom.

"What happened? I've never seen you so upset"

"I've ruined everything"

"What?"

"Rye, was. Uh. Talking to me… I don't know whether he was trying to make me feel uncomfortable, but if he was it was working."

"Mmm." Adrian hums begrudgingly.

"And uh, when it started getting really bad, I noticed that…" I pause, not knowing how and if I can say it. "Peeta had come back, but he overheard what Rye had said and…"

"Got the wrong idea?" He finishes my sentence. I nod, looking away from him. "Hey, it's ok." He says, lifting my chin up to face him with the back of his hand. "Peeta just needs some time to get his head round what's happened. You can explain everything to him when he's calmed down."

"The worst thing was, Rye seemed happy that his brother was upset. More than happy, it was like he was glad"

"He probably was. See, he was mum's favourite, being her first kid and everything. He could get away with murder in her eyes; when I came along, she liked me but never as much as Rye. We can get on at the best of times, but usually there's no point. Peeta's family too, and I'm not putting up with Rye's harsh attitude towards him, just because mum hated him. He's a sweet kid, you know, but for some reason, Rye just can't see that."

* * *

I went to bed alone last night; Adrian said that if Peeta was in one of his moods, and he clearly was, then he wouldn't come to bed. This was the second time I've slept in this bed and I've never known it to be so empty and cold. The door opens, and I quickly turn over so whoever it is can't see that I'm still awake.

"Night, Kat" it's Adrian. He turns the light of and shuts the door, locking it as he does so. I hear him outside, talking to someone and decide to creep closer to the door to hear it.

"…that was a really shitty thing to do." Adrian says.

"Yeah? And what makes you think I care?" Rye's voice is a harsh whisper

"Nothing. And that makes me sick. You don't know anything about her, _what she's been through."  
_

"Oh, yeah she looks like she's been through a hell of a lot" Rye whines sarcastically.

"Oh you don't know the half of it"

"Go on then, what's she been through."

"She had a boyfriend who hit her and abused her. He saved her fucking life. I can't believe I'd ever see the day when I heard it, but she had a boyfriend worse than you. Yes that's right, for once somebody put up with someone… _Worse. Than. You."_

"And what would you know about that?"

"You think I didn't see how you took advantage of them; all of those girls, all of those beautiful girls who you would have been lucky to call yours and you took advantage of them. Well that's it. I've had it. I could deal with you hurting and upsetting those girls. _I didn't know those girls. _But when it upsets Peeta and _his girl, _that's when you've crossed the line!" Adrian hisses in a loud whisper.

"Oh give is up Adrian, you were always jealous when you saw me with those girls and you know it."

"_Jealous?_ I felt sorry for them, Rye. And now, look what you've done. You've sent an innocent, sweet, vulnerable girl in tears to an empty bed, because you convinced your brother that something might be going on between the two of you."

"Well maybe there was" Rye's voice is slimy and provocative. And that's when I hear it. The sound that has become far too familiar to me over that last few years. The sound of a punch. It then gets very quiet and all I can hear is the faint shuffling of footsteps before silence takes over completely.

* * *

The next morning is as uncomfortable as it is unwanted. I wake up knowing that I will have to talk to Peeta at some point. But before then, I risk coming into contact with Rye again.

I make my way down stairs and realise I've over slept; I immediately get my apron and start helping Adrian set up. We work in silence; neither of us in the mood to talk. Rye walks in, also gets and apron and starts to help. Keeping his distance from both of us, he has a black eye. His presence seems to make the already silent room quieter. We work in silence for a good 20 minutes, only speaking to a customer when she came in asking for some bread.

When Peeta comes down to work, however, that's when the talking starts. He takes slow, definite steps towards the kitchen. Me and Adrian stop working and watch him, Rye doesn't. If anything, Rye works harder, concentrating on something else. Peeta says nothing and just walks straight into the kitchen, leaving us to work in silence again. Only I don't. I stay where I am, staring at the doorway to the kitchen. I feel Adrian place a hand on my shoulder, turn my head slightly to face him. He says nothing, but nods at me. I nod back, knowing exactly what he means.

I take a few steps towards the kitchen. Peeta doesn't notice me. I close door slowly, as if I don't want him to know I'm here. I lean against it and watch him for a moment. He doesn't know I'm here, or if he does he hasn't looked up from the bread dough he working with.

"Hey…" I exhale. He turns to look at me for a second before turning back to the dough.

"Peeta, please"

"Please what?" He asks, without even looking up this time.

"Don't be like this."

"Don't be like what?" He says; his voice full of false oblivion.

"You know what I mean."

"No. I don't think I do anymore, Katniss" He says, finally turning to face me. "You see, I did. I used to know what you meant. Like when you told me you loved me and I believed you and new what you meant. Now I'm starting to think we had different ideas about what that meant. When I said I love you, I meant I love you. When you said I love you, you then went and flirted with my brother."

"No, I didn't."

"Really?" he asks sardonically. "Because it really looked like it."

"No. Your brother was flirting with me. If you could even call it flirting, anyway."

"Ok, Katniss. Ok. You can believe that but I have to get back to work. And so do you." He turns back around to the bread and starts kneading it again.

"Ok, Peeta. If you're not going to believe me, just listen to the last thing I have to say."

"Hmmm" He says, without looking up again.

"I don't want to live in this world alone. I don't want to sleep in an empty bed or walk with an empty palm. So you can carry on living… we can carry on living separate lives. But whilst you carry on with life, I will carry on breathing; unless it gets too much. I won't _live _without you. Not really. And even if I'm still medically alive, I will be dead long before my body dies. I love you Peeta, in your sense. I love you and I know I could live a thousand lives and not deserve you, but you need to know that I love you."

It's only when I finish that I realise I'm crying. Peeta turns around and walks towards me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"You always were good at that"

"Good at what?"

"Being right?"

"Huh?" I sniff

"I love you too, Katniss. And I believe you."

**Don't forget to review if you want the next chapter to be dedicated to you. I will be choosing the review that made me smile the most, so go go go!**


	16. Chapter 16

**So here it is guys, Chapter 16! This one is dedicated to... Kat'sTheName for the lovely review she wrote me. Thank you for making me smile, Kat! Please remember that if you want the next chapter dedicated to you, then all you have to do is write a review about what you thought of this chapter or the story so far to be in for a chance at a dedication! Love you all, thanks for the reviews, keep em coming!**

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That evening, when Rye's gone out and Adrian's baking, Peeta and I spend the evening in his room. We sit cross-legged opposite each other, just like we did in the Forest house before, with mugs of tea. We stay up quite late that night, talking and laughing and smiling and hugging and kissing and just generally being happy. I lie next to him, noses touching. His eyes are so perfect. I don't think I'll ever get bored of those eyes. The eyes of the boy who was my last hope.

"Thank you Katniss." He whispers, his breath is hot on my neck, but is in no way uncomfortable.

"For what?"

"For not giving up on me. I almost gave up on you but you didn't."

"I knew you'd come around eventually." I smirk.

"Ok" He laughs, kissing me. I kiss him back, with enough meaning for a thousand kisses; and for once I don't care about anyone else, anywhere in the world. Ignorance is bliss.

* * *

The next morning, I'm woken up by Adrian hammering the door down.

"I don't care how indecent you two are or how impolite it would be, if you don't get up and ready for work within the next 10 minutes, I'm coming in!" snap my head towards Peeta. Neither of us are dressed. I hear Peeta curse under his breath.

"Alright, Adrian, calm down. We just overslept. We'll be down in a minute."

"Fine"

Peeta looks and me, and me at him, we both smirk at each other.

"So…" Peeta says.

"So." I answer.

"We should… err" He coughs his way through the sentence awkwardly.

"Get dressed?" I suggest

"Right." He smiles, avoiding my glance. I get up, taking the sheet with me, and grab my clothes as I walk behind the corner of a wall. Peeta's room is awkwardly shaped, and there is a nook in the walls that dips behind the bed, meaning I can get changed without anyone watching me.

* * *

When we are both dressed, we walk downstairs and get straight to work. Every now and then I share a smile with Peeta, but Adrian will catch us in the act and we stop. Business is slower than usual, so we all decide to have a break for lunch. Rye didn't come back last night, so it's just Peeta, Adrian and Me. We eat and make casual conversation, generally having a good time. As I get up to get myself a drink, I overhear Peeta and his brother talking.

"So, are we just going to ignore the elephant in the room."

"What elephant?" Peeta asks.

"The fact that you so blatantly got lucky."

"I didn't get lucky…"

"Oh yeah?"

"No… I just am lucky" Peeta teases.

"Can't argue with that" He says as I join them back at the table.

"Can't argue with what?" I ask, playfully. Peeta goes bright red when he realises I've heard.

"Oh. Nothing" Adrian says.

Suddenly, the door bursts open and Rye runs so fast through the door that he almost trips. His eyes are heavy and full of worry. He looks straight at me and tries to speak, but he's out of breath. He pauses a second to breath.

"That guy, err, Gale? He's on his way here."

"What?" I say as I inhale. The word gets stuck in the back of my through and cuts like razors as I swallow it.

"We don't have much time, come on." He hisses.

I follow him round the back of the bakery, just outside the kitchen there is a shed. I hadn't noticed until now that it's raining, and looks like it has been for a while. I guess pathetic fallacy is just a figure of our imagination. The weather doesn't set the mood. Our mood affects the way we see the weather. If it were sunny on a terrible day, we would just think it typical that the weather should be nice on such a day; such as when it rains on a good day and the day remains good, the weather seems somewhat empowering.

The shed itself is quite spacious, and looks as if it's not been used for a while. There is some old garden furniture in it. I sit down, awkwardly, not knowing quite what to do. We stay in silence for a while. Even though nobody could hear us out here, I'm not in the mood for talking; certainly not after what Rye did yesterday.

He paces up and down, frantically looking this way and that, holding his hands at chest level as he does so. I watch him twitch and tick uncomfortably. He seems more worried about Gale's sudden appearance than I do.

After a while, he manages to calm down a bit.  
"May I?" He asks, nodding toward the seat next to me. I nod slightly, not looking at him as I move up a bit.

"Listen… about yesterday, I'm sorry. I acted like a jerk and I shouldn't have said that."

"It's ok" I say, not sure what else I can say.

"No, it's not. I made you feel uncomfortable, and I didn't know anything about you, I shouldn't have done that"

"You didn't know."

"It still doesn't excuse my behaviour. I hope you can forgive me" I look at him, making sure that the person in front of me is definitely the same person I met yesterday.

"What's with the change of attitude?"

"Huh?"

"You're so different." I tell him. "It's like you're a different person"

"I. I didn't know that you were… used to be with Gale." He says. "I used to see him with other girls and think he was a nasty piece of work. I got into a fight with him once, actually, he broke my rib."

"Ow." I mutter under my breath.

"I… well, I also didn't know you were _that girl._" He says, like it has any meaning to me.

"What?"

"The one Peeta's always had a thing for. You are that girl" he says.

"Oh." I say.

We both sit in silence again for a while.

"Wait." He whispers

"What?"

"When I got in, there was something different about him, Peeta, that is."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah… I recognise that look, never seen it on Peeta before though, unless- no!"

"What?"

"Peeta got laid!" he exclaims. I immediately feel my cheeks go red. He must see because he starts laughing even harder.

"Shut up" I say, embarrassed.

"Oh, if Gale recognises that look… good thing he's too drunk to recognise anything"

"Drunk?" I repeat.

"Oh yeah, he's completely off his head"

"Gale's drunk" I say one last time, feeling my heart stop and fall into my stomach.

Gale always did his worse when he was drunk.


	17. Chapter 17

**Ok guys, thanks for all the lovely reviews. This chapter is dedicated to Mellark's Heart. Thank's for all of your reviews, you rule. Also thanks to Mollie for helping me write this one!**

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I run out of the shed as soon as it's confirmed. I can't let Peeta and Adrian fight my battles for me.

"No, Kat, what are you doing?" I hear Rye call after me, I don't stop to listen to him.

I run through the rain, tripping as I do so but I don't care. I get up as quickly as I can and carry on running, through the kitchen and into the bakery. I watch as Adrian wrestles with Gale; using all of his strength to keep him away from his little brother. Peeta's angrily trying to get a punch in as well; I can tell that Gale's said something to set him off.

They're all so busy fighting each other for any of them to realise that I've got there, but it gives me time to catch my breath and notice that Peeta's face is heavily bruised and blotchy, red and purple. I try and scream but can't find the courage. It's only when Adrian is no longer strong enough to hold him off and Gale punches Peeta in the neck that I make any audible noise. Unfortunately, it's a bit too audible. I scream.  
"Stop it!"

I run towards Peeta, as if I could protect him somehow. Before I can get to him though, he's snatched from my grasp as Gale gets him in a headlock.

"So Katniss…" Gale's voice is slightly slurred. "You've put yourself in a really rather difficult situation." He smirks. I look at his face, tracing the contours of his skin with my eyes. He's like a completely different person to the one I met all those years ago.

"Let him go" my voice is monotone and completely emotionless. I can't let Gale know he's affecting me.

"Oh…" Gale lifts his head and looks around the room. He stops when his gaze hits mine "I don't think I will. You see, this boy is rather… precious."

"What do you mean?" I ask slowly, narrowing my eyes.

"Well, is it not obvious?" He starts to laugh. "I need to get to you, and the only way I can do that is through him and so here we are."

I stand and realise what he's done. Everything we worried would happen, has. No matter where I go Gale will still be in control of my life. He's the puppet master and he has my strings permanently sewn onto his fingers. I look at Peeta, he's staring straight at me. Unable to talk. Hardly able to breathe.

"What do you want Gale?"

"Oh Katniss you know exactly what I want. Of course, it's the price that you are willing to pay that I'm currently interested in. You see, this boy means a lot to you, right?" I don't respond. "And I'm wandering to what extremities you will go to, to keep him alive. You see, if something were to… happen to him… what would you do?" I look back at Peeta. He's pleading me with his eyes to say nothing. I stay quiet.

Adrian makes a move to free Peeta, but Gale steps back and tightens the grip around his head.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Not if you want your brother back… then again, it's not really your choice." He looks back at me. I remain where I am, not taking my eyes off of Gale.

"You see. I was thinking… About how to get to you, Katniss. You know I own you. You've said it yourself a thousand times. I always have, and always will. I was thinking about beating up your mother, leaving her in a critical position and threatening to leave her for dead if you didn't listen to me, if you didn't do as I say. But you've never really cared for your mother. I'm sure you do deep down, but that one was just too risky. Then of course there was always Prim. What would you do to keep your baby sister safe. She's very young. Very… innocent. Oh the things I could-"

"NO!" I scream "Don't you dare say anything like that about my sister" I hiss.

"Oh don't worry. Primrose is perfectly safe" his voice spits like poison. "It's this unlucky bugger who pulled the short straw."

I look back at Peeta, who is still staring at me. I don't know what he's trying to tell me. It's not desperation or hope or anything like that. They're a shade of blue I've never seen before. I look at him apologetically. It's my fault he's here.

"So Katniss. Tell me, how have you been?" Gale changes the subject momentarily.

"Fine" I say, my jaw dead set in place.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Good. I see you moved. Nice place..." he says. I'm still entirely confused as to why he's started the small talk.

"I think so."

"Hmmm. So where do you sleep."

"With Peeta"

"Ha." He lets out a short, sharp, fake laugh. "Of course you do."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I ask.

"That it's typical of you to sleep with any man who asks."

"Right" I say, sarcastically.

"And these two" He looks at Peeta's brothers, who seem as confused as I do. "Have they had a chance to sleep with you yet?"

"Ok, that's enough!" Rye shouts.

"WAS I TALKING TO YOU?!" Gale shrieks. "Because I don't think I was."

"No." I tell him. "No I've not slept with any of Peeta's brothers. Or friends. Or enemies. None accept for you, and we both know that was not my choice."

"Oh?" His voice is thick. "So you're insinuating rape?" He asks with eyebrows raised.

"I didn't say that, necessarily"

"Because last time I checked, rape is just as illegal as prostitution."

"I got no money from you."

"_From me. _What about the others."

"There were none." I say, my voice is gravelly now.

"You keep telling yourself that." He mutters.

"What do you want Gale. Why are you here? It's clearly not to kill anyone. If you wanted to do that, you would have done it by now. Peeta's still breathing. With difficulty, true, but he's still alive. So tell me. Tell us all. Why. Are. You. Here."

"I already told you." He says, almost melodically. "I came here for you."

I look him in the eyes, which now look fragile as glass. His dark hair not quite as dark as the deep rings under his eyes.

"You should understand. I want you, Katniss. You are mine. You and I both know that, but I want it to be a legal statement. Marry me."

"What makes you think I want to do that?"

"Oh, I know for a fact that you don't. But that is why I'm here, and we're in this situation. If you don't want to marry me, that's absolutely fine. But that decision comes with a price. _Bread boy dies._"

His words hit me like a tonne of bricks. We all know where this is going. I know that if I say no, I'm free forever. He'll leave me alone, but only because he saw me witness the death of the one person that matters.

"Kat. Don't do it." Peeta chokes. "I'm not worth it. Say no. Don't do it." He can't make any more noise, not if he wants to keep breathing. I watch him for a moment as he mouths the word "no" and shakes his head as much as he possibly can under Gales arm. I look back up at Gale.

"Oh Katniss, don't keep us all waiting. What'll it be? Marriage or death?"

I close my eyes, not wanting to cry. I can't let him see me cry. I can't let _any of them _see me cry.

"You win" I sigh. "Yes, I'll marry you"

**Dun dun dunnn 'nother cliffhanger sorry...**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys! So, this chapter is kind of a filler until the end. That's not to say that you should not be excited, it's still good. I enjoyed writing it. I also want to clarify something... If these updates appear to be at odd times, it's because I live in England. So as I am writing these words, it's 10:00PM which is about 3:05PM California time, you'll have to work the rest out yourselves but oh well, so sorry if i post at weird times :/ This chapter is dedicated to KittyCatnipKatniss (aka Jade, mentioned a few chapters ago) Thanks for the review!**

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I follow Gale out of the Bakery and into the rain. I don't put up a fight; I just do what he tells me to; that way no one will get hurt. Peeta keeps calling after me, but I don't answer him. I know that talking to him or interacting with him will just end badly and I desperately don't want that. I don't look back; I know that looking back will make me hate the situation even more, so instead I keep looking forward. Gale walks by my side, constantly looking at me even though he knows I won't try and run; I love Peeta too much to do that.

When we are just out of earshot, Gale whispers without stopping.

"Kiss me" His words are harsh and stinging.

"What?" I ask, not turning to face me.

"Do it, or I will go back there" He hisses, cocking his head towards the bakery. I search his eyes for a moment before doing what he says, keeping my eyes open as I do. I hold my gaze on the bakery and for half a second I see Peeta. He's pressed up against the window, before Adrian pulls him back. I think I can just make out Rye in the back and, for a moment, it looks as if he's looking right at me. I snap my eyes shut to lock out the world for as long as I can; which is hard to do when someone's tongue is in your mouth.

When we finally get back to the small rickety house that gale calls his home, he shoves me in through the door and pushes me against the wall. His breathing is heavy and uncomfortable against my skin.

"Is this how you treat all of your girls" I ask. "Because if it is, it's no wonder why they left you" He slaps me as soon as I've said it, but I try not to retaliate, last time it didn't end up so well.

"Shut up."

"Why?"

"Because I told you to." He spits "And this is how it's going to work from now on. You will not leave this house unless I am with you and have granted permission. You will talk to nobody but me, and speak when spoken to. Do as I say and nobody gets hurt."

"And if I don't?"

"Oh that's easy. I'm going to start destroying the lives of the people you love. I'll start with someone easy, like you're mother. Then Madge. Then Prim. And I think you know who comes next" a small, sadistic smile slithers across his face. I nod slowly, trying not to let him know how much he scares me.

A few weeks after having lived with Gale, I'm starting to worry about my life more than ever. Sometimes I manage to convince myself that I'm not needed, that ending it would be for the best, but then I think of Prim and Peeta. Prim's vulnerable and easily scared; if she found out I was dead then who knows what would happen. And Peeta… I always imagined that Peeta would be the last face I saw before my likely-to-be untimely death.

At the current moment, Gale is out, which means I am locked in the house: cold, alone and starving. I pace the living/dining room and kitchen as I ponder about my life and its actual meaning. I remember the days when I was still 16 and things got so bad, I would pray that I was reaped for the hunger games that year. Or that the mines would explode while I was around. Those days were nothing compared to today, in hindsight.

It is when I'm pacing the rooms for what must be the 80th time now, when I hear something. To start with the noise is quiet and subtle, but eventually becomes louder and more startling. I scan the room looking for the source of the noise and realise it's coming from old, battered and broken cat-flap in the kitchen door. Gale doesn't have a cat, but the cat-flap was put in by whoever used to own this house. I take a few slow steps towards the noise, before eventually crawling on all fours and placing my head on the floor. I push it open, to find Rye mirroring me on the other side of the door.

"Rye?!" I whisper disapprovingly "What are you doing, you shouldn't be here."

"Oh shut up, like we were just going to let Gale take you? Besides he couldn't do me any harm, I'm twice his size."

"We?" I ask "Is Peeta with you?"

"No I came alone, I wouldn't let him. We've already lost you, we're not losing him too."

"Ok…"

"Listen, Kat, I don't have long, but I came to tell you that we're going to get you out. We have a plan."

"What is it?"

"I can't tell you yet. I promise I'll explain it another time. I need to ask you for some info though."

"Uh, ok" I stutter "What do you want to know?"

"Where's Gale now?"

"At work."

"Great, does he go to work every day?"

"No. Just today, so Wednesdays and Fridays."

"Ok, I don't think we can put this plan into action by then, do you think you can wait 'til next week?"

"Yeah, I'll wait however long you need me to."

"And when does he go to work?"

"5:30. He gets back at 6" I tell him.

"Ok. Are you ok? He's not hurt you or done anything too… bad has he?"

"I'm fine" I say, slightly avoiding the question.

"…alright." He knows I'm lying. "I'm sorry, but I have to go; are you going to be ok?"

"Yeah" I sigh "I'll be fine."

"Oh. I almost forgot." He says, disappearing for a moment. "Peeta wants you to have this." He says, handing me a pin. I look at it carefully; I think it's a mockingjay. "He says it's for luck" Rye explains.

"Thanks, Rye. For everything" I half smile for the first time in weeks.

"No problem kiddo." He smirks before rushing off.

I put the pin in my pocket, knowing that if I wear it; Gale will see it and know that Rye's been here. I constantly play with it, running it between my fingers and my thumb.

When Gale gets back, he's already drunk. He screams at me a few times before the general insults come out. One of them, however, sticks out.

"You need to lose weight" He slurs. I don't respond, instead I just look at him. "Your face is all round." This gets to me for some reason, partially because it's mean, but partially because I've not eaten anything other than the occasional mouthful of soup or bite of bread since I moved in. I guess he's just saying it for the point of annoying me, but it works.

The next morning, I'm woken up by a sudden feeling of illness. I rush straight to the bathroom and throw up. I only do it once or twice and then the feeling is gone completely. I walk to the sink and wash my mouth out with water. I look in the mirror and notice that Gale wasn't just saying it to upset me last night; my face really does look rounder. I try and think about if these symptoms match any of the patients that visit my mother. Bloating and occasional sickness… it could be food poisoning, but I haven't eaten anything. Seeing as I'm malnourished all of the time, I think that option's out of the window. But that only leaves one other option that I can think of at this point…

I'm pregnant.


	19. Chapter 19

**Ok, I'm so sorry this is a whole day late guys, but to show my apologies; I am posting 2 chapters. This Chapter is dedicated to for the great review that made me laugh. Hope you enjoy it. It's a good'n **

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At first, I don't believe it. I lean on the sink and rack my brains for anything else that it could possibly be. Any possibility is completely ridiculous on further though and I come to the final conclusion that there is no way around it. I am pregnant. It's not Gales, I know that for a fact; and anyway the timing proves that it has to be Peeta's. Surely I should be happy that it's his…but I can't help but cry. I cry properly this time, I know Gale won't hear me; he's passed out on a chair downstairs.

I can't tell anyone. Not Gale, not anybody. I can't bring myself to think of what he'd do if he found out. I hold the mockingjay pin in my clenched fist and know what to do. I'm going to get out of here. _Today. _

I grab my jacket, and do it up tight, before putting my boots on. As soon as I do that, I feel like myself again. I tiptoe downstairs and brace myself. I look at Gale, who is completely passed out. The door is too small for its frame, so it won't make a noise when I close it. I pull it open very slowly and look back at gale. My heart beats faster than it's ever done before. One step and I'm out, I think to myself. One step and I'm out. One step.

One step saved my life. After stepping out of the house I ran. It was harder to do because I have various injuries and I haven't eaten for days, leaving me weak; but I refuse to give up. I run faster than I've ever done before. Past all the houses and shops and Madge's house and right into the middle of the district, only stopping when I get to district 12's only peacekeeper station.

Inside, I'm surprised to see Madge.

"Katniss!" she runs to me as I fall on the floor with exhausted.

"Ma…" I cough "Madge. Why, why are you here?"

"Rye told me everything." I nod when I finally understand the situation. She helps me up just as a peacekeeper walks in.

"Can I help you two ladies?" He says; his voice blunt.

"Yes." I say, still trying to catch my breath. "I'd like to report abuse, kidnapping and attempted murder."

A while later, after my report has been written out as a formal and official case, I am ushered into a room with two other peacekeepers. They are both very formally dressed, but look at me with sympathetic. I take a seat opposite them.

"Ok, miss Everdeen. Would you like to take us through what happened? From the beginning if you don't mind." The first one says. I nod slightly before speaking.

"Uh… when I was 16… I became _involved? _With Gale."

"That is Gale Hawthorne?"

"Yes." I tell him. "We were just the same as any other couples for the first month or so until he hit me. I thought it was just a one off thing until it happened again."

I explain the basics of it, struggling to find the words to describe everything that's happened to me over the past two years.

"…and then he sat on my legs to pin me down, before cutting my face. I blacked out and almost died. He left me alone, and my sister found my on the floor in our house."

"So that's the abuse and attempted murder covered. Can you explain what you meant when you said you would like to report kidnapping?" The peacekeeper says.

"A few weeks ago, he came to the bakery"

"The Mellark Bakery?"

"Yes. I was staying with there with Peeta."

"Ok, continue"

"So, uh, Gale came in and fought with Peeta. Myself and Peeta's brothers tried to stop him, but he got him in a headlock and threatened to kill him… if… if I said I wouldn't marry him." I burst into tears.

"Ok, Miss Everdeen…" the peacekeeper that's done the most of the talking looks at me. "I think we have enough to charge Gale with abuse and attempted murder. We can't charge him with kidnapping unfortunately, as you agreed to go with him, but based on the charges, he's looking at 6 to twelve years." I convince myself to stop crying.

I'm lead out of the room, back into the main entrance. Rye is sat on a chair, looking at his feet.

"Rye?" I run to him. He stands up and immediately hugs me.

"I'm so glad you're ok." He mumbles into my shoulder.

"I just want to go home."

"Miss Everdeen, we will just need to know: where will Mr Hawthorne be?"

"His house in the seam. He'll still be passed out." I tell them and within moments I am allowed to leave.

On the walk back to the bakery, Rye asks me a lot of questions. Am I ok? Yes. Am I sure? No.

"What's up?" He asks. "Other than the obvious."

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

"Here" he says, lifting me up and carrying me like a baby.

"You don't have to do this" I told him.

"I think I do. You're too weak" That shut me up; mainly because he's right.

When we get in, the bakery is empty.

"Where is everyone?" I Rye as he puts me back on foot.

"The bakery's been closed since you left. Peeta wouldn't let us."

"Where is he?" I ask; my words so fast they almost turn into one. Rye shakes his head.

"In his room. You might not want to see him though, Kat."

"huh?"

"He's not slept or eaten in weeks. It looks like you haven't either. You need to eat, Katniss."

"I'm not hungry."

"You clearly are."

"I'll eat once I've seen him." I tell him. He opens his mouth to say something but snaps it shut knowing he won't win in an argument against me. He nods.

"Ok, but you have to eat something after, alright?"

"Alright. Thanks for picking me up" I tell him before walking upstairs.

Just as Rye said, Peeta is in his room. He's curled up on the bed, facing the other way. He could easily be asleep, but I know he's not.

"Hey" I whisper, not daring to leave the doorway. He turns around to face me not opening his eyes. He looks terrible. His face is pale and pasty, his eyes encircled with deep purple bags. He looks thinner than I remember him being, which scares me a little.  
"Peeta, open your eyes" I run to him, kneeling by the side of the bed. I move the hair away from his face. His eyes open slowly, revealing pale white-blue eyes.

"Katniss?" He whispers.

"Thank you, Peeta" I hold up the mockingjay pin. "For the luck"


	20. Chapter 20

**As promised, here is another chapter. Sorry again for being late (I was ill) Hope you like it. This chapter is dedicated to Awesomegirl2656 for the heart warming review that she gave me. I hope you like it (Warning: This one ends with another cliff hanger)**

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Peeta stares at the pin and then back at me. He sits up, a little too quickly as it makes him dizzy. I help him steady his balance before exchanging an entirely ear-to-ear smile.

"Kat, you're ok."

"Yeah I'm ok."

"What, how… um"

"Don't worry about it. Just know that although things haven't been ok, and might not necessarily be ok now, I will get better because I'm with you."

"Ok." he smiles with a sigh "And I want you to promise not to do something stupid for the sake of my life again"

"Fine" I smirk, holding out my hand "It's a deal" Peeta shakes my hand before frowning.

"You've not eaten" His brow creases.

"Neither have you"

"Katniss…"

"Fine, I guess I could do with something to eat."

"Good." He says before leading me downstairs.

When we get downstairs, Rye is in the kitchen, sorting through the cupboards.

"Hey" Peeta beams. Rye nods at him, curtly, and turns to me.

"Food?" he asks.

"Food." I nod.

"Alright, kiddo. What'll be?"

"Umm…" I think for a moment. "Have we got any olives?" I ask. Peeta and Rye both look at me, startled.

"Olives?" Peeta asks. "I thought you hated them."

"Me too" Rye adds.

"Yeah… I just. I really fancy Olives."

"Ok… olives it is then."

While we eat, Peeta and Rye both watch me. Still confused at the fact I'm eating olives. It's true; I do hate olives, but it's almost as if I had to eat them. Like I was craving them. _Craving. Pregnancy. Crap. _I think about a time that I could possibly bring it up, I mean I can't hide from it forever, right? Well I can hide from it for a while. I'll do that. Rye keeps looking at me weirdly, which is usually expected, but this time it's weird. He's looking at me differently. Not checking me out, not worrying about me. Something else, but I can't figure out what exactly.

Peeta doesn't bring up Gale or what's happened over the last few weeks. It's nice to have everything just fit back to normal. I miss Prim, though. I spent a lot of my abundant free time thinking about her whilst locked in at Gales. That is, when I wasn't thinking about Peeta.

We make small conversation, and after a while, I learn that Adrian was with Rye when Madge told him to meet me at the peacekeepers'. Rye went to get me and Adrian went with Madge. He and Olivia have gotten closer aver there mutual panic about the situation and he and Madge ran back to hers to tell her it was ok.

Rye's become the man of the house, taking care of Peeta, because he sort of shut down when I went away. I feel awful for letting it happen, but don't say anything.

Later on that afternoon, Peeta goes on a walk, leaving me to get some rest. I don't really do anything, I just stay where I am on my seat in the bakery; thinking to myself.

"Hey, Kat, can I have a word?"

"Huh? Oh… sure" I say, half gesturing to the seat next to me. He sits on it, dragging it closer.

"What is it that you're not telling me… that you're not telling him?"

"Huh, what do you mean?"

"Oh come on Kat. Do you think I can't tell? You look guilty every time you look at him." I shake my head.

"I don't know what you mean" I lie.

"And you're acting funny- different. You're acting completely different. Did something happen at Gale's? I know you don't want to talk about it, but I have to ask."

"Nothing happened." Other than the occasional beating, several death threats and constant surveillance, but I'm not going to tell him that necessarily.

"Are you sure? People don't just change. For good or bad, there's always a reason"

"I'm not different. I haven't changed" I protest.

"But you have Kat! I mean, Olives? Really? And you may be fooling Peeta; but you're not fooling me, and you're obviously not fooling yourself." I don't say anything, and look out of the window, turning away from him.

"Fine. But if you won't tell me, you could at least tell Peeta. I know I've not always been the best brother to him; but you could at least be a decent girlfriend." He says, getting up and beginning to walk away.

"Rye, wait!" I holler. He stops and turns to face me. "There is… something." He walks back towards me and sits in the same seat again.

"Go on."

"Well. I." I look at him and then away. I can't bring myself to say it.

"Katniss…" He uses my whole name, which scares me. I look up at him to find him looking at my stomach, which I'm unconsciously protecting with one arm. "You're not… I mean… no… you're not, are you?" He can't say it either.

"Yes. I am." I sigh.

"Kat…"

"It's Peeta's." I snap. "…before you ask."

"You have to tell him." He whispers. I feel the tears begin to cloud my eyes. I shake my head to try and shake them away.

"I can't. I can't do that."

"I know it's hard, but you have to do it. How scared is he going to be if you don't tell him and then one day he just notices your stomach has literally inflated?"

"I know. But I just. I can't bring myself to say it out loud, never mind to him. So much has happened recently, and I don't want to make things worse." The tears are now streaming down my cheeks.

"Shhh… it's ok" He wraps his arms around me. "But I promise it won't make things worse. Peeta is an awesome guy, and will be an awesome dad. And whatever you two decided to do will be the right decision. Because it's you two and you're both smart kids. Kids, true, but smart ones. I know it feels like your life is over and everything is going wrong, but I promise it's not."

"You say it like you've been through this."

"I have" he looks at his feet. "She, uh, well she was just some girl at the time until… yeah."

"You have a kid?"

"No. Abortion; it, uh… it didn't work out."

"Oh…"

"Yeah, but anyway, take it from me. Peeta will be more disappointed or take it worse if you put off telling him. So promise me that you'll say something to him and you'll say something soon." He says. I am about to respond when I'm interrupted.

"Tell me what?" I turn around to see Peeta, who's just got back from his walk.

"Peeta…"

"Tell me what, Katniss?"


	21. Chapter 21

**Ok, so for reasons known only to fanfiction, I managed to miss out the name of the person that Chapter 19 was dedicated to. It was in fact dedicated to mrs-hutcherlark (sorry for swapping the "." with a "-" Fanfiction thinks it's a link) for making me smile, so I hope you liked that chapter and sorry I forgot to mention you! This chapter is dedicated to: TradgedyIsTheKey, who is a new reader and reviewer so thank you for reading, you're awesome. **

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"Peeta! Um... How was your walk?" I stall.

"Tell me what, Kat?" He asks again.

"That… we're out of flour…"

"In a bakery?" He asks. I hear Rye sigh at my poor attempt of an excuse.

"We were robbed?" I try, my voice getting higher pitched as I say it.

"Katniss…" Peeta starts.

"Kat, just give it up." Rye interrupts. "Sorry, Peeta. I'll be out of the way in just a sec, but Katniss, you have to tell him, or I will."

"Will somebody just tell me what's going on?" Peeta says, loud and clear. "I'm sorry, but I'm a little worried." Rye nods at him.

"Right. I'll uh, leave you two alone…" he says, as he flashes me a threatening look.

I take Peeta by the arm and pull him towards a chair. He looks a bit worried already, which makes me nervous for how he'll react. I wonder if I can stall him any longer. Nope, I can't.

"Katniss, what's this all about? Is it about Gale? Did he do something to you? Are you ok?"

"No, Peeta. It's nothing to do with Gale. I'm fine."

"Then what's going on? Go on, just tell me. I can take it. I can take anything."

"Hmmm" I say, unsure that Peeta knows what he's bargaining for.

"Kat…" He lifts my chin up with the back of his hand so that my eyes meet his. "Just tell me." I look behind him, my face in line with his, but my eyes somewhere else, focussing on other things.

"I'm pregnant." I mumble. It's quiet, but not quite quiet enough for Peeta not to hear.

"You're what?" He stutters.

"Pregnant." I say, clearly and more obviously this time. "I'm pregnant, Peeta." He stares at me, taking in every detail of my face for a moment.

"Pregnant." He repeats the word. "And the dad…"

"…is you." I end his sentence. He breathes in before exhaling slowly.  
"Right."

"Yeah" I say.

We sit in complete and utter silence for a while. Not even looking at each other; both of our gazes fixed hard on the floor.

"What do you want to do?" He asks, breaking the silence.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Honestly?"

"Yeah, honestly" I confirm

"I want you to keep it."

"Well then that's settled." I say, still not looking at him. He turns his head to face me, but I still refuse to look at him.

"Is that what you want to do?"

"…I don't know" I admit. "I'm not having a second abortion. Besides, unless it'll kill me, they're not legal."

"but…?" Peeta asks

"I've never wanted kids." I finally look at him. "I never did and I'm not sure if I ever will."

"Oh" He says, this time it's him that looks away.

"I just… When I was 12, at my first reaping, I was terrified. You know the feeling? That sudden realisation that your fate, your entire future, depends on the name that is pulled out of that bowl. Eventually that feeling disappeared, I was good for 4 years, until Prim was 12 and it was her first reaping. I felt worse than for here than she had. I knew that it was her first year, and her name was only in there once and she would be fine; but I couldn't help but worry. I decided to myself that if she was reaped I was going to volunteer. And now, I've done my last reaping. It's over, for me at least. But I can't volunteer for her now. I can't take her place, which is worse than still having my name in that bowl. She has 4 more years of that. 4 more years that I can't help her through… I guess my only hopeful thought was always that once she was 18, the hunger games would be out of my life completely. But now, this baby… this baby is going to be born into a hideous district in a hideous country, ran by psychopaths who think that the only way to deal with war is by killing children" I end up shouting.

"Hey, shhhh. It's ok." he says, rubbing my back.

"But it's not."

"Well you're right. That baby is going to be born into a hideous district, surrounded by hideous people and lead by a hideous government, but it's going to grow up in a loving household, with an amazing mother, two great uncles and a wonderful aunt." He lifts my chin to look at him. "You're going to be a great mum, Kat. I just know it."

"You're going to be an even better dad" I half-smirk.

"Fine, so does this mean…"

"I think it means we're going to have a baby…" I say. Peeta smiles at me and I can't help but turn the corners of my lips slightly.

Later on, when Adrian is back; Peeta and I discuss how to go about telling people. The only people left to tell are my mother and prim, and Peeta's brother. I decide I should go and walk to my mother's anyway; I could use the fresh air and I'm aching to see Prim again. Peeta tells me that he'll talk to his brother and he can tell Olivia and Madge, but these are the only people we want to know. These are the only people that need to know.

The walk to my mother's house is surprisingly nice. It's finally getting into spring now, and although it's by no means warm, it's refreshingly cold; not bitter and bone chilling like usual. There are clouds in the sky, yes, but the weather is decent. I might even stretch to using the word pleasant. I take leisure in the walk to my old house, looking forward to seeing my family again. It then occurs to me that I have not even told them that I've moved back to the district; I've got a lot of explaining and talking to do.

When I get to the house, I knock on the door and wait with anticipation. Prim eventually answers the door, practically jumping on me when she does.

"Katniss!" She squeals, running out to me. I open my arms wide for a hug and hold her tight for a while.

"Hey little duck" I laugh as I mess up her hair

"What are you doing here?"

"Why don't you let me in and I'll explain"

"Ok" She beams and I follow her into the house.

Our home is just as it was when I left. There's no sign of my mother, but Prim tells me that she is at the hob and will be back soon. Her clothes look new and clean, and I'm glad that she's being looked after.

"Did you bring presents?" She asks

"Maybe" I tease, pulling out a bag of cookies that Peeta made especially.

"Cookies!" She beams taking the bag and attempting to open it immediately.

"Prim" I stop her "You can have them later, ok. I need to talk to you" she nods, putting the cookies down and taking a seat next to me.

"I'm sorry I haven't come to see you sooner, or haven't contacted you in anyway" I start "But things have been a bit busy recently" I watch as she absorbs all of information I give her. "You see, I was living in the forest house, but then something happened to Madge and I came back here."

"Is she ok?" Prims eyes widen and become really dark.

"She's fine. But I moved in with Peeta after that; at the bakery in town. You know the one" She nods "I was going to come and see you after I settled in properly, but I didn't get the chance because Gale came and messed things up" I put it lightly, not wanting to upset her. "It's fine, Peeta and his brothers have looked after me and we've told the peace keepers about Gale, so everything is ok now." I hug her for a minute.

"The thing is; I have some news." She looks at me inquisitively and awaits my response. "Me and Peeta… Are going to have a baby" I look at my stomach and then back at prim. She's staring at me incredulously but there's a glint in her eye.

"Really?"

"Really." I nod.

She places her hands on my stomach.  
"Hi" She beams "I'm prim. I'm you're auntie" I can't help but smile at how cute she is. Maybe if the baby is anything like her, everything will be ok.


	22. Chapter 22

**So guys, sorry that not much happens in this chapter, however I've managed to sneak some key info into this, so keep your eyes peeled. I'm afraid I will not be able to post much this week as I have a dance show, but i promise to post loads in the holidays! This chapter is dedicated to JuliaMindedx for her lovely review. Thanks Julia!**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review (For a dedication)  
DFTBA  
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My mother comes home later, just as prim said she would. She is surprised to see me, but doesn't make quite as much fuss as Prim did about it. She asks if I'll stay for dinner and I say sure. Prim and I go up to the bedroom as mother unpacks the things she got at the hob and starts dinner.

Prim tells me everything that's happened since I left, almost down to the minute. I nod and listen as she explains how there is a new boy in her class at school who's just moved from district 11.  
"I think he has an older sister" She smiles "a bit older than you."

"Oh." I say "I'll have to look out for her"

"Katniss…" She starts, timidly.

"What…"

"Why haven't you told mum about. Umm." She looks at my stomach.

"Oh, Prim, she's just got home. I don't want to just shock her with it."

"But you are going to tell her?"

"Of course" I answer. "I'll tell her at dinner if it means so much to you."

"Thanks." She smiles again and carries on telling me about all the happenings of the district.

My mother cooks Rabbit stew, one of my favourites, to 'celebrate my appearance' or something. We sit around the table and talk about each other's days and for a moment; it's just like the old days. My mother keeps looking at me and smiling, like she's the most proud person in the world.

"So Katniss; how was your day?" She asks, not seeming to care about where I've been for the past few weeks or why I suddenly came back.

"It was ok." I say "I helped out at the bakery like usual. I guess I have a job there now"

"You're getting paid?"

"Well, I love there so all the money helps pay for food for everyone… but I guess I do, yeah"

"Wow. You got a job. And on the merchant side of town, too." She exclaims. I smile a little at her pride but notice that Prim is staring at me, digging into my soul with her eyes. I get the message and turn away from her so all my attention is on my mother.

"Actually, mum, I do kind of have something to tell you…" I start. She raises her eyebrows to show she's listening as she takes another bite of rabbit. I swallow before saying the words.

"Well. Peeta and I, um. We're… I… We're going to have a baby." I bite the inside of my cheek as soon as the sound leaves my mouth. She swallows her food before fixing her stare and I watch as the corners of her mouth form a frown.

"I do hope you're joking." She states, bluntly.

"I… _joking?_ Why would I joke about this, mother?"

"Katniss, how could you be so stupid?" She queries.

"Accidents happen."

"And this one shouldn't have"

"Well it has and there's no going back now." I raise my voice. "I thought you would at least try and be happy"

"_happy?"_ She asks as if it's the most ridiculous thing in the world. "Why would I be happy that you've ruined your life, Katniss?"

"I haven't ruined my life. I'm determined to make this a positive thing; this baby can mark the start of a new life. My old life was ruined, and I'm going to make sure that this child will grow up being loved and safe."

"You can't ever guarantee safety. Not here"

"Well I'm going to make sure that I do a better job at protecting my child than you did!" I blurt, standing up. I walk towards the door, without saying anything and leave.

Prim runs after me, screaming my name.

"Katniss! You can't leave again" She cries.

"I have to Prim, I'm not welcome in that house, but you are welcome to come and see me at the bakery anytime, ok?" she nods "Now, go back home. Finish your dinner, do your homework and then sleep, yeah?"

"Ok." She says. "Oh and Katniss"

"Yeah?"

"Tell Peeta thanks for the cookies" I give her a small smile.

"I will." I say "Now go home Prim" and she runs off into the distance.

* * *

The bakery is quiet when I get back. Peeta is in the kitchen and Adrian is back. He sits in a chair, looking out of the window. He turns to face me when the bell above the door jingles as I open it.

"Hey" I sigh.

"Hi" he smiles. "I heard your news. Congrats."

"Thanks" I say, sounding a little deflated.

"What's up?"

"Nothing"

"Kat?" he creases his brow. "What's up" he repeats.

"I. Oh it's nothing really. My mother didn't take to the news quite as well as you." I say as I sink into the seat opposite him.

"I can understand that." He tells me.

"Really?"

"Well, yeah. Peeta told me that you were scared or angry or upset or whatever when you found out. And that you needed a little convincing that things were going to be ok." He looks into my eyes. "Your mother's probably just the same. She's worried about how it's going to affect you."

"I know, but she could've at least tried to be happy for me. Prim was"

"Yeah, she could've. But perhaps she just needs convincing too."

"Why are all you Mellark boys so smart?" I sigh

"Who knows" he matches my sigh.

"Did you take to Madge and Olivia?"

"No, their dad has capitol visitors in tonight and something tells me that the baker's son won't be all that welcome."

"Oh right. Well, there's always tomorrow"

"Yes, there is."

After a while, Peeta joins us at the table, taking a seat next to me.  
"Has anyone seen Rye?"

"No" I say

"Nope" Adrian chirps.

"Oh." Peeta seems somewhat disappointed at the news.

"Why?" I ask.

"I need to talk to him" He tells me.


	23. Chapter 23

**Alrighty guys, sorry I took a bit of time off. I had a dance show on Saturday (it was The Lion King if you were wandering) and then I was really not well yesterday, but I'm better now and I baring Chapter. This particular chapter is dedicated to StarJinx2110! Thanks for the lovely review x Oh and I would also like to point out that 'Pip' is based on my lovely friend Puja. I hope you all love pip as much as I love Puja:)  
**

**Don't forget to Favourite/Follow/Review (for a dedication)  
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MadcapScribbler x**

I lie awake in the empty bed; Peeta didn't come to bed last night. I can't help but think it's got something to do with Rye. Why did he need to talk to him? And where was Rye earlier anyway? I don't remember him leaving, or saying that he was going somewhere. I think for hours without moving. I don't think about anything in particular, but eventually the night turns into day and I begin to feel sick again.

After throwing up once or twice, I decide I should probably get up and do something productive. I make my way downstairs and I'm about to walk into the bakery to get my apron, when I hear Peeta and Rye; leaving me stranded in the small hallway between the stairs and bakery. I sigh as I lean back against the wall, tucked away in a nook in the hallway.

"Where were you?" I hear Peeta ask. His voice expresses some sort of disappointment but I can't be sure why.

"Why does it matter" Rye's voice is different too. He sounds hurt, but not physically.

"Because I need to talk to you"

"Peeta, can this wait? I have a massive hangover and I just want to sleep…"

"No." He stops him. "It can't wait."

"Fine" Rye sighs.

"I saw her the other day."

"You saw who?" Rye asks, not even remotely interested in getting an answer.

"Philippa" He states dryly. There is a pause that could last a lifetime; a silence that could drown out forever.

"You saw Pip?" Rye whispers incredulously. I can barely hear it through the thick plasterboard that I'm now pressed up against; listening intensely.

"Well h-how is she? Where did you see her? Why is she here?" I've never heard Rye sound so vulnerable.

"I don't know, I didn't speak to her."

"Peeta!"

"Well what would I have said. I don't really think it would be appropriate, would it."

"I don't think she'd care. She has nothing against you… it's me she hates."

"To be fair she has a reason to."

"I know." I can almost hear his jaw lock. "I have to go. I need sleep" He says bluntly before I hear footsteps make their way towards me. I hide in the nook of the wall as much as possible and pray that he doesn't see me. Fortunately, he's too drunk and upset to notice me so I'm safe.

I wait a few minutes before deciding that it's safe to go and see Peeta. My mind is instantly plagued with questions about their conversation. Who is Philippa, or Pip or whoever? Why does she hate Rye? What did he do? I push the questions aside as I walk into the bakery as if all is normal.

I remain calm as I walk across the room and grab my apron. I wrap the straps around my stomach, realising that soon, it won't be flat anymore, and that I will have a noticeable baby bump. I dread the day that brings that moment. That moment that I'm no longer allowed to hide from it. I try and stay positive. At least if I do have the baby, Peeta will be happy; that's enough to make me happy.

After a moment of silent working, Peeta comes in from the kitchen.

"Hey Kat." He smiles, stacking a few loaves of bread on the shelf above the counter.

"Hey" I smile, struggling to push back all of my thoughts and questions.

"How come you're up so early?"

"I couldn't sleep." I say, technically it's not lying, but I don't want to tell Peeta about the morning sickness, I know he'd freak out too much.

"Oh." He mumbles as he returns to the loaves.

"Hey, Peeta… did I see Rye going into his room a minute a go, or was I imagining things?" I say, slyly trying to get some answers.

"You probably did, he just got back."

"Oh. He looked kind of upset."

"Yeah, well I told him a saw Pip and- You don't know who Pip is, do you?"

"Uh, no" I shake my head.

"She, uh… I'm not sure if I should tell you… Oh you're going to find out sooner or later" Peeta sighs.

"Ok."

"Pip- Philippa, moved here from district 11 a few years ago."

"Moved here? I thought you weren't allowed to move districts without capitol permission."

"Right" Peeta nods. "But her mum died and her aunt is some capitol official, so they moved here. I don't know why here, she told only ever told us that it was a quick getaway. From what, I'll never know, but still."

"Oh…"

"So anyway this was… uh… 7 years ago. Yeah, when Rye was 17… He met Pip when she moved here and they became friends instantly, like, they were inseparable. But we all know what Rye's like, he sees a pretty girl and instantly hits on her. I mean, you should know. How long did it take for him to start flirting?" I give him a look to show I understand before he continues. "But with Pip it was different. She was beautiful and we all knew it" I raise my eyebrows, jokingly. "Don't worry; she has nothing on you, Kat. But she was like Rye's version of you. The only person who actually changed him, and for a while he _was _different."

"Why do I feel like there's a 'but' coming up about now."

"Because there is. You see, she got pregnant and couldn't cope with it. He wanted her to keep it, but she really didn't. I don't blame her, to be honest what with her mum dying and her moving and having to look after her little brother, it made no sense to keep that baby. They argued about it for a while, but it ended up with her asking him the penultimate question. Did he want to keep her in his life, or did he care more about the baby. He didn't answer and we never saw her again."

"He. He didn't answer?" Peeta shakes his head solemnly before exhaling heavily.

"He lost the one person he ever loved because he couldn't answer that one question."

I stand there in silence as I let the information run over my skin and into my head. That's what Rye meant when he said 'it didn't work out'. I try and wrap my head around it as I clean and set tables, ready for that morning. But no matter how many times I scrub the table top or how many forks I lay on top of napkins, I still don't manage to get it around my head.

It is only when I notice a family outside that my thoughts are concentrated on something else; a young man and woman walking with a toddler holding each of their hands. The toddler is very small, only just walking and almost cute. She reminds me ever so slightly of Prim. Blonde hair, bright eyes and a consistent smile. The parents both look so happy. I want to be that happy, but I couldn't be. Not if the Games still exist and we still live here.

"Kat!" Peeta places a hand on my shoulder.

"Huh?" I turn around to face him.

"Are you alright, you've been staring into space for ages now."

"Oh, uh, yeah. I'm fine." I smile, still a little dazed.

"Ok. Do you want to go and open shop then?"

"Yeah" I say.

I unlock the doors and flip the sign before returning to cleaning the tables. Adrian comes in and gets to work, and in time so does Rye. He doesn't speak to any of us and he looks awful, almost as if he's been crying. I ignore it for a while, and throughout the morning we have a small trickle of customers.

However at lunch time, business seems slow. That is until one person walks through the door. Peeta, Adrian and I all stay where we are and stare as we do so. Rye stops too. He stands up straight, staring deep into the girl's eyes. He looks as if he's seen a ghost.

"Pip?"


	24. Chapter 24

**Ok guys, heres the next Chapter:) I am going to dedicate Chapter 25 to the person who writes the best review ABOUT PIP. Tell me what you think of her, and I will consider you for a dedication:) Love you all. Thanks for reading x**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
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The girl, who I am assuming is Pip, stands in the doorway. Peeta wasn't lying when he said she was beautiful. Her skin is olive-y and she has a slightly earthy complexion that many of the girls in the district would envy. She's wearing an orange jumper that fits nicely over her petite figure and sits on the grey trousers that half-cling to her legs. Her hair is long, straight and dark, and she's pinned the fringe to the side to keep it out of her eyes. She has a smile that lights up her entire face, and quite frankly; all in all, she's got looks that books take pages to tell.

"Rye" she smiles at him politely "hi, everyone" I watch as Peeta and Adrian do just the same as me, return the smile, trying desperately not to let it get too awkward.

"Hi" Peeta says, noticing the lack of noise was getting eerie and uncomfortable. "How are you, Pip?"

"I'm alright" She turns away from Rye, who remains in place. "I just came to get some bread"

"Sure" He nods before turning to grab a loaf and placing it in a brown paper bag. "There you go" he exchanges the bag for a few coins that she had in her hand before she turns to leave.

However before she can leave, Rye stops her.

"Wait." He calls. "How come you're back? From 11 that is…" Pip turns to face him. She doesn't say anything for a moment, but eventually she answers him.

"Something happened. I couldn't stay there" She replies vaguely.

"Where are you staying?"

"In the same house I did last time. Why does it matter?"

"It just does. I mean… Well if you need a friend, you can stop by at any time"

"I have enough people to go to, but thanks anyway" she says. Her voice is blunt but still has a sense of kindness to it, like a hunting knife that's been passed from father to son for years and years.

"Pip, don't be like this" He's somewhat disappointed, but doesn't get angry unlike some people.

"Philippa." She raises her voice, before softening it again. "My name is Philippa. And I'm not _being _like anything"

"But you are!" Rye shouts. "You are"

"Well to be fair, I have reason to." She shouts back.

"I know you do. But you could at least talk to me about it."

"I don't think I have to."

"Why?"

"Because you've clearly moved on. I mean, she's clearly not Adrian's girl; he has the decency to go out with girls his own age, but you'd kiss anything that breathes." She looks at me.

I sit there gob-smacked I don't know what to do. I don't want to get involved; it's not my battle to fight, but I don't want her thinking that I'm Rye's fall-back. I look at Peeta, then at Rye before finally looking at Pip. I don't say anything. I'm about to, but Peeta interrupts.

"Actually, Kat is… with me" Peeta pipes up. Pip looks at him before blushing slightly.

"Right." She turns to me. "Sorry, I didn't know, I just…"

"Don't worry about it." I tell her, anxious as to what will happen next.

"You just _assumed_ that I was with Kat... because she was in the same room as me?"

"No. I just _assumed _that you would have moved on by now. It has been 7 years." Rye goes quiet.

"So. Have you?"

"Have I what?" Pip matches his volume

"Moved on."

"I haven't really had time."

"Why are you back?" He asks, almost as if he wants to start the whole conversation again.

"Something happened."

"_What happened?" _Rye hisses.

"You know what? I really don't want to talk about it right now."

Something changes about Pip as she speaks. She's no longer the smiling beauty that entered the room a while ago. She's now a lost soul, hiding behind sunken eyes. She's still conventionally pretty, but there's no beauty in pain and suffering. She turns to leave again, mirroring what happened a few moments ago.

"Pi- Philippa wait."

"Rye, I think you should just-" I try and stop him, but he interrupts me.

"I made a mistake. Once you left, I became someone else. I hit on every girl in the district. I drank myself to a pitiful state every night. I beat up my brothers. I despised my father. I stopped caring. Do you know why? Because I had no reason to care. I had ruined my life. You were the one person that gave me any purpose in this miserable joke of a world and for that I'm grateful. You know, Kat has been through a hell of a lot recently. Ok, so it's not my story to tell but I'll explain this much; Peeta saved her life. That was an eye opener to me. She was the only one to prove to me just how much of a jerk I'd been. And I realise that now. I've had a bit of time to think about everything recently. You might not believe me, considering the fact I'm very, very hung-over at the moment, but I have changed. What I did was wrong. It was stupid and selfish and I don't blame you for leaving. But if my brother and his girl have taught me anything worth remembering, it's that everyone deserves a second chance. So I am asking you now, if I'm worth it; give me a second chance"

The room falls silent. Peeta is frozen, Adrian is gobsmacked and I am completely and utterly dazed. When I finally get to grips with what just happened, I turn to face Pip, who is just as speechless as the rest of us. She has tears in her eyes, and takes a deep breath before speaking.

"Rye." She exhales slowly "I want to give you a second chance, I do, but I want you to answer the question. The same one that I asked you seven years ago. As if we were in the same situation."

Rye looks at her, concentrating on her eyes in particular.

"Who did you really care about more, Rye? Me, or that baby?"

Rye swallows dryly, tears now clouding his eyes too.

"You, Pip. Always you."

**Don't forget to let me know what you think of Pip for a chance to have the next chapter dedicated to you! x**


	25. Chapter 25

**Ok, guys, so I realise I didn't dedicate the last chapter to anyone. Sorry, I forgot. Anyway this chapter is dedicated to teampeeta1223. Yes, Pip is a real person; but her name isn't pip in reality. She actually told me that she really liked all of your reviews, but teampeeta1223 made her smile the most by comparing her to a cupcake! Thanks for the reviews, keep them coming. I'm really interested in what YOU think should/will happen in chapters to come; so please leave a review letting me know:) x**

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Once the words have left Rye's mouth, all eyes are on Pip. We watch in anticipation as her expression changes; the corners of her lips slowly turning upwards, the harsh tones in her eyes softening gradually. There's a childish kindness to her face, which reminds me of spring. She doesn't say anything, she doesn't have to; we all know how she feels.

"Do you want a drink?" Rye asks quietly. Pip's smile grows before she nods slightly and follows Rye off into the kitchen.

Adrian, Peeta and I stay in silence just for a few seconds. We wait until it's safe to talk.

"Wow" Peeta exhales, just as soon as they're both out of earshot. "We're never going to get a break, are we?"

"I don't know" I sigh, getting up and locking the door. "But I think it's safe to say we should probably lock up for today."

"Good point." Peeta agrees.

"And besides, I've got a headache and I'm really quite tired" I complain.

"Are you ok? Do you want me to get you anything?" Peeta instantly panics.

"I'm fine, Peeta" I sigh "It's just a headache."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." I say "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to get a glass of water and sit down." I say, walking past him and into the kitchen.

When I get in there, Pip is sitting on a stool in the corner whilst Rye makes her some coffee. I walk in without saying anything and grab myself a glass.

"Hey Kat" Rye smiles into the coffee he's stirring.

"Hey" I say, walking towards the sink. Rye stops stirring the coffee and picks up the mug before handing it to Pip.

"I don't suppose I need to introduce you to Pip, really, do I?"

"Uh, no."

"Hi" Pip smiles "Katniss, right?"

"Yeah" I smile back before turning to Rye. "Do we have any mint leaves?"

"Uh… no… I don't think we do, sorry" the smile that has remained on his face for the past few minutes fades and is quickly replaced with a frown "why?"

"Oh, I just have a headache" I say "Mint sometimes helps"

"Is everything ok?" He lowers his voice, fully aware that anyone could hear his concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine"

"…and the baby?"

"The baby is fine" I state, loud and clear so he knows I'm telling the truth.

"You're pregnant?" Pip bursts incredulously. When she realises what she's just asked she covers her mouth quickly "Sorry. I um. Congratulations?"

"Yes. I am." I give her a smile to assure her she's hasn't offended me. "…and thanks. I should probably get back to Peeta now, he's probably worried that I've died in the sink or something ridiculous like that. We can, uh, talk later?"

"Sure" she laughs "Talk later."

When I get back into the bakery, Peeta is sitting by the window by himself. Adrian isn't around anymore, so I assume he's gone out or upstairs.

"Hey" I say taking a sip of my water and flopping into the seat next to him. He instinctively places an arm around me.

"Hey" he whispers. "You know, with everything that's gone on, me and you haven't seen much of each other."

"I know. Sorry" I sigh

"It's fine…" He trails off. After a short pause, he suddenly remembers something. "How did it go with your mother and Prim? I don't think you ever told me."

"Oh…" I say. He can here the disappointment and looks at me with hurt-filled eyes. "Prim took it well" I beam before telling him the bad news "My mother… not so much."

"Oh, Kat I'm sorry."

"No, it's ok. If she doesn't want to know then she doesn't have to. I told Prim that she could visit whenever she wants to, so I can still see her."

"Good. At least you'll still be close with your sister"

"Yeah" I smile at the thought of finally getting things back to normal. "Yeah, that is good."

Things go silent for a while and I am instantly lost in a daydream. The family from earlier have been replaced with Peeta, Me and our baby; a cute little replica of prim when she was that age. Only she has Peeta's bright blue eyes and blonde curls. She smiles and giggles and Peeta picks her up and spins her around. The entire image portrays something that I'm not all that familiar with: Happiness.

The daydream must have turned into an actually dream, because the next thing I know is I'm being woken up by someone hammering at the door. I look up and tend to it, realising that it's Olivia. Almost as soon as I've unlocked the door, she's standing right in front of me almost in tears.

"Olivia? What is it?"

"I… Um… Where's Adrian?" I look around the bakery, only just noticing that Peeta is gone too.

"I don't know. I'll go and look for him, you sit down, ok?" She does as I say. She looks awful, her eyes are red and she's constantly shaking. I'm about to go and get Adrian when he manages to stumble into the bakery. _Good timing,_ I think to myself.

"Olivia?" He gasps as he runs to her, kneeling in front of her and placing his hands on her knees. "Olivia, what is it?" I stand at the back of the room, awkwardly worrying in the background. Observing from afar.

"I… uh… I. My dad. He kicked me out."

"He what?"

"He kicked me out."

"Why?"

"He found out about, um. The rings. He saw the ring. And told me that I was making a mistake. _Marrying the baker's son. _ I told him he could screw it so he said that I had to leave. End of"

"He can't do that."

"Oh well he did. I got kicked out for being engaged, something that both of my parents have been praying will happen. And now I'm homeless." She cries as she bursts into tears. Adrian pulls her into a hug.

"Hey, no. Shhh. Don't be ridiculous. You can live here. With us. _With me."_ He reassures her.

As I watch Olivia breakdown, I start to realise how strong people really are in this district. Me, her, Pip; we've all seen more in our lifetimes than any one capitol civilians. Illness, death and tragedy are just part of everyday life and we put up with it. And it's not like we don't get our fair share of drama, either. In one day I've witnessed a couple possibly get back together after 7 years and watched a very loving brother comfort his new fiancée.

I need to get away from it all for just a day. I need to take a day off.

I need a day with Peeta.

**Please give me a review letting me know what you want to happen or think should happen. I want this fanfic to be inspired by you guys and your ideas. Love you all! x**


	26. Chapter 26

**Here you go guys, hope you like it. This chapter is dedicated to messygreenroom. Thank you for your review, no you aren't the Jade I was on about it previous chapters (or at least I don't think you are!) This is a kind of filler, but it is still important to the story guys! Remember to keep the reviews coming about what you want to happen/what you think is going to happen next! I love hearing your ideas, they're all so good!**

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The next day, we make a mutual decision to close the bakery for a day. Everyone is too wrapped up in their own problems to worry about, what with Olivia moving in and Rye sorting everything with Pip. Peeta and I decide to give everyone some space and get out of the house, so we pack up a picnic and head for the meadow.

Luckily, it is a reasonably warm day. There is an occasional breeze, but a pleasant one nonetheless. As we walk, I notice that Peeta takes a wrong turn.  
"Shouldn't we go that way" I ask, slowing down a bit.

"We're taking a short detour. Don't worry, it won't take long." He assures me, walking defiantly ahead. I jog a little until I catch up with him, still unsure of where we are going.

It doesn't take long before I figure it out. We are making our way towards my mother's house. As soon as it's in sight I begin to feel sick so I stop, grabbing Peeta's hand and pulling him back. He looks at me with a 'come on' sort of look. Like the look a parent would give to a child that's misbehaving.

"I'm not welcome there, you know that. And I know what you're doing. I won't talk to her."

"I'm not trying to get you to talk to her. Look, just wait here, ok?" He looks at me with honest eyes. I think about it for a moment before deciding that there's no point in trying to argue; Peeta is as stubborn as I am.

"Fine" I sigh. He gives me a quick kiss before running up to the door.

I watch and wait as he knocks three times before waiting patiently at the door. He turns back and flashes me a grin before turning back. Prim answers it. They talk about something for a few moments, but I'm too far away to hear what they actually say. Then Prim disappears momentarily before returning and shutting the door behind me. She has a small back pack with her and she slings it over her back as she runs towards me. Peeta follows, laughing playfully at her bliss.

"Surprise" he giggles as Prim runs up to me, quickly jumping into a hug.

"What?" I say, still a little bemused.

"Prim is going to be joining us today" He smiles. I'm immediately overwhelmed with a sense of complete content.

"Great" I beam, smiling at Prim. "Does the picnic still stand?"

"Definitely" She smiles, and we all walk back towards the meadow.

The meadow is the perfect representation of spring. Green grass, newly budding flowers, pale green trees and gentle breeze; it's the perfect place to take a break. We lay down the picnic blanket and unpack the food.

As we nibble at sandwiches and pastries, Prim tells me about everything that's happened under the sun. From school to the hob, she's got gossip on everyone and everything.

"…so Jeremiah's dad won't be going back to work for a few weeks. Oh and Emma and Astrid, you know? The sisters from up the road? They mentioned something about a camel… or was it a donkey…? Anyway-"

"Prim! I've only been the other side of town, not the other side of the planet" I stop her "I'm glad you're having a good time, though"

"What about you guys? How's life at the bakery?" Peeta and I look at each other, puzzling about how to answer that question.

"It's uh…"

"Eventful?" Peeta finishes my sentence.

"Right." I confirm. "Eventful"

"Huh, what do you mean?" Prim asks.

"Oh, you know. We work and live in a bakery. People always want bread." Peeta says, jokingly.

"Oh, ok" Prim says.

"Hey Prim, why don't you go and pick some berries, I'm sure you can find loads down there" I say pointing towards a blackberry bush in the distance.

"Ok" Prims says as she eagerly grabs a box and runs off towards the fruit.

I lean my head on Peeta's shoulder as he wraps his arm around my waste. We watch prim in silence as she carefully takes the berries off of their branches.

"You two are so alike" Peeta says, continuing to watch prim.

"huh?"

"You and your sister. You're so similar."

"Really? I always thought we couldn't be any more different."

"Oh no. You two are so alike. It's the small things you see."

"Like what, exactly?"

"Oh I don't know. The way you smile, the way your eyes glint when you get excited. You both relax in good company; your shoulders become less tense. Stuff like that."

"Oh" I sigh.

We both sit in silence and carry on watching my little sister. Eventually I start to notice the things too. I get so absorbed in watching the similarities that Peeta's voice actually startles me.

"Katniss?"

"Uh, what, yeah?"

"Have you thought about the baby at all?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, have you thought about, like, names and stuff."

"Names? No." I admit. "I have thought about it constantly though."

"What have you, uh, though about?"

"Honestly? I've been thinking about how scary it's going to be."

"Really?" Peeta finally looks me in the eyes.

"Yeah. I'm terrified, Peeta."

"I know it's scary, Kat. But I also know that you're an amazingly brave person. Everything is going to be fine, I promise you"

"Ok. I don't believe you, but ok."

"So like everything else I say then?"

"Pretty much" I sigh.

We return to silence again, watching as prim makes her way back towards us. She's collected enough berries to last a lifetime, but it's not a problem; we eat them all quite quickly. Prim and Peeta have a competition to see who can throw them and catch them in their mouth. Prim wins, but we all know that Peeta lost deliberately.

That is when I see it. Off in the distance, past the blackberry bush, beyond the trees I see him. I can't be sure that it's him, but I think I see Gale, stood so he's just noticeable to me, looking in our direction. The figure doesn't seem to go anywhere; he just stands in the distance, completely still. I don't do anything, I don't say anything, I just don't.

"Katniss, are you ok?" Prim asks. I look at her and everything eventually catches up in my head. I smile at her.

"Yeah, Prim. I'm fine."

I had only turned my head for a moment, but when I look back, the figure is gone.


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey Guys, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that I'm finally on my eater holidays! wooo! Also, I don't know if any of you read the review; but 'Bones' has been nominated for a REBEL award! So that's exciting. Unfortunately, because it's the easter holiday's, the updates may not be daily for a while. I will promise to keep updating as often as I can, but I can't make any promises about how often; I have a LOT of revision to do, because April and May are when I've got my mocks (scary!) This Chapter is dedicated to: coadhpgg for the lovely review, thank you so much. **

**To add to the good news, there will be another chapter up in about an hour (maybe earlier) so get your reviews in quick!  
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A few weeks after the Picnic, I sit in the bathroom by myself. I've counted that I'm about 8 weeks pregnant now, and it's finally starting to show. I lift up the shirt that Peeta leant me to wear as PJs to look at it. My belly is slightly swollen and obviously bigger. I still haven't spoken to my mother since she told me I was ruining my life, but at least prim stops by for lunch sometimes.

I don't like having a baby bump though. I know that's quite common, but I hate it for reasons that are reasonably uncommon. Having this bump means I can't hide from it any more. I have a constant reminder now that my life is going to change, and however good this change is going to be; it's still frightening. I'm going to be responsible for another person's life, not just my own. And if I worry about Prim when she's 14 and fully able to handle things by herself, what am I going to be like with a tiny baby.

Peeta keeps trying to convince me to see a doctor. I refuse every time he asks. I know I can't hide from it forever, but I can hide from it for now. I don't like doctors; we never went to the hospital when we were kids because mum knew it all. The only time I've ever been to see a doctor was when I broke my leg as a kid; my mother usually sorted out breaks, but she was ill at the time so (against my mother's will) My father carried me for 3 hours to the hospital. It was only a one hour walk at the most, but I complained a lot and my father slowed down.

"Katniss" Peeta knocks gently on the door, interrupting me from my thoughts. "Are you ok?" I hesitate before answering.

"Uh. Yeah I'm fine" I say, as I get up and unlock the door.

"Are you sure?" He asks, taking my hand in him. I take in a deep breath and nod

"Yeah."

"Ok." he sighs, knowing that I'm lying but there's no way of getting me to talk to him "It's just, this letter came for you" He hands me an envelope.

I look carefully at it, noticing that there's a capitol emblem as well as the peacekeepers symbol in the top left corner. I make my way to the bed and sit on the edge, scared to open it. Peeta sits next to me, eager to find out what it says, but I don't want to open it. When I do eventually open it, my hands are shaking. I carefully unfold the adhesive line along the top and pull out the paper inside.

_To: Miss Katniss Everdeen, District 12.  
Sender: Miss E Trinket, Capitol. _

_Dear Miss Everdeen,_

_I have been asked to inform you that your report to the Peacekeepers of District 12 about Mr Gale Hawthorne has been looked into and a formal arrest has been made. Because of the severity of your case, Mr Hawthorne will stand trial in here in the Capitol; where he will stand in front of not only the highest ranking judges and jury in Panem, but also you. We understand that you may not want to take part in this trial, but do need your input to give Mr Hawthorne a sentence. I would like to personally assure you that I will be there, you will have a good lawyer and the trial will only last a day. You may bring one witness who will also stand as a friend during your stay. The trial shall be held in a week, I look forward to seeing you there. _

_My greatest apologies for all that you have been through,_

_Effie Trinket, District 12's Capitol Administrator. _

I don't breathe once I've read it. I must go blue or something, because Peeta catches on.

"Katniss! Breathe" he instructs. I inhale sharply, almost choking. Then I start to cry. "Hey… Shhh. It's ok."

"I can't" I whale, sobbing into Peeta's chest. "I can't talk about it. Not in front of them. I can't do it Peeta."

"I know… I know… Shhh" Peeta soothes. "I don't like the idea of it, either Kat. But you have to go."

"I really don't want to"

"It's ok. I'll come with you. I'll be there to hold your hand. Like the letter says, it'll only be a day. We won't even be away for a week. I can be your witness if you want. Tell them about the kidnapping. He tried to kill me, Kat. Attempted murder. That's got to be worth something, right?"

"Right" I sniff. "But I'm not worried about losing the trial. Not really."

"Then what?"

"Two things." I sigh. "The capitol is going to be overwhelming enough, but I hear that the press are like animals. I don't want to have loads of people asking questions and judging me Peeta."

"Ok, that's understandable, and I promise that I'll protect you from journalists and photographers. What's the other thing."

"This, Peeta" I snap, stretching the shirt across my stomach, revealing the small bump. "I don't want Gale to know."

Peeta looks at my stomach in awe. I guess he hasn't noticed it because, although it's a massive part of his life, he has other things to think about, whereas it plagues my mind constantly. I watch as face softens as he looks at it. He then places both his hands on my stomach. They look massive in comparison to the baby bump.

"It's so real now" he mumbles under his breath.

"I know" I whisper as I slide my hands over his. He kisses my stomach in the space between our hands. "Hello" he whispers. "I'm your daddy. And this…" He strokes my hand "…this is your mummy. We're both very excited to meet you. But since that's not going to be for a while, you be good while you're there, yeah? Don't cause your mummy too much trouble" I find a small smile creep onto my face as he talks. When he brings his head back up to mine, I take is head in my hands and kiss him.

"Thank you, Peeta." I whisper against his lips.

"For what" he asks as he slowly opens his eyes.

"For always saying the right thing."

Later on that morning, Rye comes and knocks on the bedroom door and tells us that Adrian wants everyone in the bakery. Peeta and I follow Rye downstairs to find out that he's as confused as us. Adrian and Olivia are sat on a table together in the bakery. Rye and Pip stand with Peeta and I as we wait in confused anticipation for what he has to say.

"Hey guys. So uh. Well you're probably wandering why I asked you all to come here?" Adrian starts. Generally mumbles of agreement are exchanged before we all quite down and wait for an answer.

"I know that you guys have all guessed that Olivia and I are… engaged. So… We want you all to know that we're getting married next week and we'd like you all to be there." Various remarks of congratulations and excitement burst from the four of us.

"Wait" I call. Everyone looks at me. "Next week?"

"Yes. Why?" Adrian asks.

"We can't. I really would love to come, but Peeta and I can't" Adrian looks somewhat disappointed.

"How come?"

"I. We. We've got to go to the capitol. I got a letter this morning. It's about Gale's trial."

"Oh"

"Well then we'll have the wedding when you get back" Olivia says. "I want you to be there Kat."

"Right then!" Adrian says. "So it's decided. The wedding's postponed until after you get back."

"Great. Congratulations, you two" I smile.

Once everything dies down, the realisation hits me like a tonne of bricks.

I am going to the capitol. And I am going to fight for Gale to be locked up.


	28. Chapter 28

**Here you go guys, like I promised - another chapter! This one is dedicated to safeandsound12 for nominating me for a REBEL award. It means so much to me and it is an honour to be nominated, so thank you. This is sort of cliff hanger-y so sorry in advance guys! Oh and a quick notice: Khaya is a real person and one of my close/oldest friends. Love you Khaya!  
**

**Don't forget to Favourite/Follow/Review (I really love reading them all guys, it means a lot and I love dedicating Chapters to you!)  
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I've only been in the Capitol for 5 minutes and I already want to go home. The people are strange; the fashion is strange, even the air is strange. Peeta and I are met at the platform by some capitol officials before being escorted to our hotel. We are told that Effie Trinket will come and meet us later to brief us on the case for tomorrow.

I look around the room. It's on the 4th floor up and is immaculate. The walls are cream, and the carpet orange. There is a white double bed in the centre of the room with multiple cushions laid on top of it, all in different shades of orange. Adding to the already very orange room; the full-length cream curtains have vertical orange stripes on them, and there are orange lamps, orange chairs and even an orange table. Orange, orange, orange. There is even a vase of orange flowers by the window.

"Well this is…"

"Orange?" Peeta finishes my sentence.

"Yeah" I laugh "I was going to say excessive but yeah, orange works"

"I know" Peeta chuckles under his breath. "I mean, I love orange as much as the next guy, but this…" He throws his bag down before flopping onto the bed. I drop my bag too, but sit uncomfortably on one of the chairs.

"Penny for your thoughts" Peeta says, pushing himself up and resting on his elbows.

"I hate it" I say without a moment's thought. "I hate it. I hate everything here. I can't wait to go home"

"I know… But we have stuff to do first. If we want everything to be ok, we have to stay here. We'll be home in two days."

"I know, but-" I'm interrupted by a knock on the door. Peeta and I look at each other, both pulling a sarcastic face to say 'oh great' I stay sitting on the chair whilst Peeta gets the door.

"Hi, I'm Effie Trinket. You must be Peeta!" I hear a very energetic voice say. Effie walks through into the room and I stand to greet her.

"You must be Katniss" She says, her voice ringing with false sympathy. I nod and shake her hand.

She is the perfect example of everything I hate about the Capitol. It's all so fake. She wears a red feather dress; the feathers are fake. Her hair is blonde with red tips; also fake. Her eyelashes are fake. Her nails are fake. She is just fake. I wonder if she realises how pathetic she looks to the rest of us; how pathetic they all look. I try and push those thoughts aside as she sits with me in the chair to my right and begins to talk politics. I don't care much for the official stuff, and there isn't much that she says to me that is of any interest whatsoever.

Eventually she leaves and I go straight to bed, I want to think about the trial as little as possible and I know I can't escape it tomorrow, so sleeping should hopefully waste some of my time.

Sleep, however, is the last thing I get. My mind is plagued with constant nightmares, most of which include Gale. Each time I awake screaming, Peeta immediately wraps his arms around me and reassures me that it's ok; that it's only a dream.

* * *

The morning of the trial is long and drawn out. I wake up and have a shower, thankful for the few hours' sleep I managed to obtain. I press various buttons and switches, covering my body in a range of soups and shower gels and shampoos that all smell artificial. _Fake. _

As I step out of the shower, I notice my stomach in the mirror again. I swallow the bad thoughts of how Gale will react. I hope he doesn't do anything to scare me; to get in my head. He was always good at getting in my head.

The hours pass slowly by and soon, we're in the courtroom. It's a large oak hall, with extensive carvings in the benches and decorative paintings. An image that particularly stands out to me is one of President Snow. I've grown up resenting that man for how he has lead the country; I should probably remember to keep my mouth shut, bite my tongue when necessary. Peeta and I are ushered to seats on a bench in front of the judge. I haven't seen Gale yet, but know that he'll make an appearance sometime soon.

I look down at my stomach again, twiddling my thumbs as I do. When I hear the doors click open, my head shoots up uncontrollably. I see Gale, handcuffed and surrounded by peacekeepers. He spots keeps his head down, but I know he's seen me. He flashes me a threatening grin as he carries on walking.

Eventually, the judge speaks; starting the trial. First to the jury, then to the press, then to us.

"Miss Everdeen: You have accused Mr Gale Hawthorne of multiple crimes of massive proportion. When asked, you will tell the truth, and nothing but it. Do you understand" He asks me. I nod before speaking.

"Yes, I do understand"

"Mr Hawthorne" He starts, turning to face Gale "You have been accused of multiple crimes, for which you plead not guilty. Does this plea still stand?" All eyes are on Gale. He doesn't respond.

"Mr Hawthorne, what do you plead?"

"Not Guilty" He says, slowly and carefully.

"Alright then. The trial shall proceed. Miss Newman, who would you like to call to the stand first?"

Khaya Newman, my lawyer, is supposedly one of the best in the business. She is an average looking woman, shoulder length brown hair, bright smile, generally quite normal looking. I would say she is about my age, maybe slightly older. When I first met her this morning, I thought she was way too reserved to be a Capitol citizen. She's wearing a blue and white striped dress and blue cardigan with a small owl badge just under the shoulder; nothing like the so-called capitol couture. She gives the judge a small smile before answering.

"I'd like to call my client to the stand first, your honour."

"Ok. Miss Everdeen to the stand" He states. I follow his orders, walking to the stand and taking a seat.

"Katniss" she starts "Oh it is ok for me to call you Katniss, right?"

"Yes" I nod "It is my name"

"Ok, Katniss, Mr Hawthorne is facing trial for uh…" She looks at her clipboard "Domestic Abuse, Attempted Murder and Kidnapping. Am I correct?"

"Yes. As far as I'm aware." I say.

"All of these being crimes committed against you?"

"Uh. No. Domestic abuse and Kidnapping involved me. Attempted Murder was that of Peeta Mellark."

"I see. So would you like to start by explaining the Abuse to me."

As I explain all of my demons to this room of strangers, I find myself relaxing ever so slightly.

"Do you have any scars, either emotional or physical as result of Mr Hawthorne's abuse?"

"Yes." I state simply "Both, actually. I suffer from frequent nightmares resulting in lack of sleep. And I have a scar on my face…" I say tracing the faint raised line along my skull "I have to cover it up every morning because I don't like explaining where it's from" Both Khaya and the Judge look at it.

"As you can see, your honour, my client has clearly suffered in multiple ways thanks to the constant torment she was under when in a relationship with Mr Hawthorne."

"Agreed." The judge says "I do not have enough evidence based on this alone, however. We will take a short break before re-joining to hear your second interrogation Miss Newman. Therefore, court is temporarily adjourned."

As I make my way back to the bench, I feel some sort of relief wash over me. Ok, so I know that I will have to speak again sometime soon, but I feel like if I can talk about the abuse in front of all of these people, then I can talk about everything else.

That is, of course, until Gale catches my sight. He looks me in the eyes before mouthing the word 'congratulations' and looking at my stomach.


	29. Chapter 29

**So this is a bit earlier than usual, time wise, but I'm tired, so I'm going to go to bed. This one's for bookgirly16 who is a new reviewer, so hi and thanks for your review. **

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review (Whoever gives me the best essay on there favourite character gets the next chapter dedicated to them!)  
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When the court is back in session, Peeta is called to the stand.

"Peeta, right?" Khaya starts.

"That's right" He smiles. _How can he stay that calm. _

"Ok. Peeta, could you start by explaining what your relationship with Katniss is."

"Kat is my girlfriend"

"Ok, and how long how long have you known her in general?"

"Uh. We went to school together. We were in a few of the same classes and we talked occasionally."

"And when would you say you became close?"

"Hmm. Well, earlier this year, Kat came into the Bakery. I hadn't seen her in a while so I took a break to sit with her and talk. Then we walked up to her mother's house; I had this burn on my leg you see. Katniss' mother is known for being good with medicines and the hospital was too far away so we went there. That was when she first told me about… well… What had happened" He puts it vaguely, I can tell that he's very aware that Gale is in the room.

As he continues to talk, I watch Gale. He watches, seemingly emotionless or uninterested; but occasionally he looks at me resentfully. I'm sure Peeta's seen it, because occasionally his voice wobbles. I turn back to face Peeta, giving him a small smile.

"Katniss mentioned earlier that the reason he's been accused of Attempted Murder is because of you… Could you please explain?"

"Oh right, yeah. Well. Me, Kat and my brother Adrian were sat in the bakery one afternoon. This quite recently, but I wouldn't be able to give an exact date… everything from the past months has kind of merged into one."

"It's ok… just tell us as much as you can remember."

"So… Rye; my oldest brother, ran into the bakery saying he saw Gale and he was drunk and coming towards the bakery, so he took Katniss to make sure she didn't get hurt."

"ok, continue"

"So when Gale came in, he started attacking me and screaming threats, including 'I'm going to kill you'. He wrestled me for a bit. I fought back, obviously, but Adrian tried to break it up. Uh… Then he stopped because Katniss ran back in. I just remember thinking 'why is she here?' and I just knew that it wasn't going to go well from then on." He pauses for a minute. "He started talking to Kat… Saying deliberately provocative things before getting me in a headlock. He kept me in it for ages. Tightened the grip every now and then. By the end of it all I couldn't breathe and he knew it."

"What do you mean 'by the end of it all'" Khaya asks.

"He held me in that position until Katniss promised to marry him. He told her he would leave her alone for the rest of her life, but it would cost me mine"

At that point, several gasps and mutters of disapproval break out across the courtroom. I watch as the jury all look at Gale spitefully. I find some kind of relief in everyone knowing who he really is. What he really is.

"Silence in court!" The judge screams, bringing attention back to Peeta. "Miss Newman, is that all you have to ask?"

"For now, yes" She says

"Alright, Mr Mellark you may return to your seat" The judge turns to Gale's lawyer. "Mr Cristiano, who would you like to bring to the stand first?"

"I'd like to start with my client, thank you."

Clinton Cristiano, Gale's lawyer, is definitely a Capitol citizen. His clothing choice for today is admittedly reserved: Blue suit, matching blue tie and shoes. But his hair is also blue, along with his contacts and eyelashes.

"Mr Hawthorne, Miss Everdeen has accused you of domestic abuse. She says you hit, scratched, punched and scarred her. Is this correct?"

"Admittedly, I did hit her once or twice in our relationship" Gale states, the gasps come back before quickly dying down. "However, not nearly as much as she has made it out. I'm no monster. That scar on her face is from a broken window. A bit of glass fell on her whist we were redecorating. I did hit her once or twice and I can never forgive myself for it…"

He hangs his head in what could easily be perceived as shame. He's twisting everything but I don't say anything. Speak when spoken to and all that.

"Now, Mr Hawthorne. What do you have to say about the accusations of Attempted Murder and Kidnapping?"

"Well. I asked Katniss to marry me and she said yes… I didn't know that that counted as kidnapping." He says, innocently. "And as for Attempted Murder, the headlock was only playful. I didn't mean to hurt Peeta, it was just a joke"

"So what you're saying is that it all just a misconception?"

"Well yes. And that if anyone should be on trial here, it should be Katniss. Adultery is serious crime too, right?"

"Are you accusing Miss Everdeen of a Crime that is no longer punishable?" the judge asks incredulously. "That's it. I've heard enough. We will depart for a brief brake whilst the Jury and I come to a conclusion. Court adjourned."

I start to shake as Peeta takes my hands.

"Hey, calm down it's ok."

"But what if he's found not guilty?"

"You heard the judge, he thinks gale's being ridiculous."

"I know, but I'm still worried."

"It's ok, I promise."

"He knows about the baby, Peeta"

"Gale?"

"Yeah"

"Oh." He sighs. "Try not to worry about it. You're tired and stressed, just try and relax as much as you can"

I remain leaning on his chest for the whole hour long break. I could have sworn that the judge said _short _break. The longer I wait the more I worry, the more I worry the slower the time goes by. Peeta keeps me in his arms but says nothing. Neither of us makes a sound, to busy being distracted by our thoughts.

Khaya sits, clearly bored of the wait, twiddling her thumbs and looking aimlessly around the room. Gale is put back in handcuffs and is constantly being talked to by either his lawyer or the peacekeepers. I look at the press; all of the stupidly dressed penguins with cameras and clipboards. I notice the avoxes stood around the room. They all wear stupid capitol smocks in shocking red. Their faces painted white, their lips dark. They all look so uncomfortable. I wander what it's like having your tongue cut out. Never being able to speak, or taste things or sing. It's weird to think that the Capitol can just cut a bit off of you and you become their puppet.

When the judge and jury make an entrance, we all stand. There is various mumbling from everyone as wait for the verdict.

"Gale Hawthorne; you stand accused of Domestic Abuse, Attempted Murder and Kidnapping. You have stood in front of me, the peacekeepers, the public and the law, and lied to us all. Not only did you prepare a poor excuse for all of your charges but you went on to accuse Miss Everdeen of Adultery with false pretences, even though Adultery is no longer punishable. I hereby declare you Guilty of your crimes. I do however have a heart, so I shall give you two options of punishment. You can hang by the neck until you die, or you can have your tongue removed and become an avox, therefore sparing your own life. It is your decision, choose wisely."

The whole court room stares at gale. He looks at me with resent before the judge.

"I will never become one of them. I'd rather hang!" He spits the words.

"Then it is decided. Mr Hawthorne shall hang for his crimes. Court dismissed."

**The next chapter's dedication will go to whoever writes the best/most biased/most elaborate review on there favourite (or least favourite) Character gets the next dedication. Make them good! x**


	30. Chapter 30

**Wow. Chapter 30! I can't believe I've carried this on so long. And there's definitely more to come, guys! I have a very exciting plan in store for our characters! This Chapter is dedicated to CatchingFire75 for the lovely review about why Rye is your favourite character. I will be dedicating Chapter 31 to the person who writes the most detailed review about something you think will happen or want to happen. I really like this chapter, and I hope you guys do too! **

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review (For a dedication)  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x**

As soon as the trial is finished, we pick up our bags from the hotel and get the first train back to district 12. Effie Trinket gives us our tickets and hugs us goodbye, congratulating the success of the trial.

When we arrive on the train, we are instantly escorted to a first class room with an en suite. Not only is the room bigger than some of the houses back in 12; there is a snack table that probably contains more food than a child in 12 will ever see in their life time, let alone eat. Peeta and I stand in awe in the door way for a few moments.  
"Wow" He whispers incredulously. I don't look at him and I don't respond. Instead, I walk slowly towards the table, pick up a bottle of champagne and smash it against the wall. I do it over and over again until all that's left is a broken stub of it in my hand and the shards on the floor, soaking in the fizzing liquid. I had no control over my actions until everything catches up with me. I didn't notice anything whilst I was doing it. Peeta was screaming at me but didn't come near me. To be honest I don't blame him. I drop to the floor, completely exhausted and start to cry. My hand is bleeding from the broken glass, and I reek of alcohol.

Peeta runs towards me, kneeling by my side and holding me like an injured child.

"Katniss…" He sighs before mumbling something under his breath. "Not this time Kat, I promise" I'm not supposed to hear those words but I do, so I pretend to hear nothing.

"Everything's going wrong, Peeta." I mutter.

"What is? What's going wrong?"

"This isn't how I planned for it to go. I killed him didn't I?"

"Killed who? Kat what are you talking about? Are you ok, are you hurt?"

"I killed Gale…"

"Oh Kat…" He sighs. "Of course you didn't"

"But I did Peeta." I snap, sitting up and out of his arms. I stay on the ground and look at him; face to face, eye to eye. "I killed him. It's my fault"

"It's not your fault and he deserved it" He says, trying to put me straight. I slap him, completely aware of what I'm doing this time.

"Don't. Ever. Say. That." I tell him. "Nobody ever _deserves _to die!"

"He left you for dead Kat!" He shouts back at me, holding his already-red cheek. I stand up.

"I don't care, Peeta. It doesn't mean that he should hang."

"It was his own decision."

"It was an _unfair _decision." By this point we are both standing and screaming bloody murder.

"Kat, why are you so upset about it? You've got your life back." I don't say anything.

"He was a monster, Katniss" I slap him again. "Ah! What was that for?"

"The reason why I'm so upset, Peeta, is because once upon a time- he was like you!" I scream. The room goes silent before anyone speaks. "And maybe…" I mumble "There will always be a part of me that wants to hang on to the old Gale."

I feel Peeta staring at me, but I say nothing. I don't look at him, scared of how he might react to the last thing I said. The only sound is made by our heavy breathing. I run out of the room, down the corridor and find a small cupboard full of towels. Well, I say small… Small for the capitol, about the size of a room in 12. I walk into and sit by myself, crying quietly so no one will hear.

At one point, I hear Peeta running down the corridor, calling my name. I don't answer him though; I don't want to talk to him, I don't want to listen to him, I don't want to see him. But at the same time as I feel all of these things; the last thing that I want is to lose him. I don't want to lose him, more than I don't want to be alone. Being alone is not nearly as bad as everyone thinks. It can actually be quite pleasant; you have time to do whatever you want, as there are no limitations such as what other people want. Being alone gives you time to discover who you are, what you like, what you want to do with life; most of all, it gives you time to think. I guess that's the danger with being alone. Thinking. Thinking is great in correct proportion; however thinking too much, overthinking, can be lethal.

Loosing Peeta would be different though. Peeta gives me the opportunity to be alone with great company. We help each other. We might even go as far as to say we save each other. Well… he saved me. And here I am, sitting in a cupboard, hiding from him and thinking about how great it is to be alone. Some friend I am.

Something is holding me back, though. As much as I know that I need to talk to Peeta, I really don't want to. I wrap my arms around my legs and stay amongst the soft, warm towels. I look at my stomach; the one time I have an argument with Peeta and the baby escapes my mind. I put my legs out flat in front of me and run my hand over the tiny bump.

"What should I do?" I whisper to myself.

It's a while before I notice that I'm crying to myself. I'm not howling or sniffling or making any noise whatsoever, but tears are running down my face fast. It's only then that I realised I'm being watched. A man, I think from the capitol, is standing in the doorway of the cupboard. I look up at him before wiping the tears from my face.

"Sorry" I mumble, before beginning to get up.

"No no. It's fine" He says. He's tall and wearing all black. His skin is slightly darker than mine and the only thing Capitol about him is the gold eyeliner that flicks off of each eye. "I was just looking for a towel. Are you ok?"

"Yeah" I nod, wiping a tear away from one eye.

"So why don't I believe you?" He asks, closing the door gently behind him and coming to sit with me.

"Because I'm not"

"Right" he gives me a smile "You want to tell me what's up? Or should I just take a towel and be on my way?"

"Uh. Well I could… but it's kind of a long story."

"Well it's a good thing we're on a long train journey." He smiles "All good stories start at the beginning"

"Well. uh. I guess it all started when I was 16" I start.

As I tell this complete stranger my story, a weight is lifted off my chest. It's not like the same relief that I got in the courtroom. This time, the feeling is a lot more welcoming; I instantly feel like I can trust this man, even though I don't know who he is and we literally just met in a cupboard.

"Well. That is a story and a half." He sighs.

"Yeah. Story and a half of my life" I match his tone.

"You know what I think you should do?"

"What?"

"I think you should go and talk to him. You just had a little argument, and to be honest who can blame you? You're tired, you're stressed, your first love is going to… well." He stops himself from saying the last word "Everything just got a bit much and you broke some things. Which, might I add, is the best remedy for anger" I give out a short laugh. "Just go and find him, say you're sorry because you clearly are and everything will get better. It always does." He smiles at me.

"Thanks" I smile.

"Don't thank me, just take the advice. Go on, get up and find him. You can't always find wisdom in cupboards you know!" he beams as I get up.

"I never got your name…" I say, just as I get to the door.

"Cinna. Now go on, get out of here" he smiles.

**Boom I added my favourite character from the books into this! Ahah, it was bound to happen at some point! Don't forget that if you want Chapter 31 to be dedicated to YOU all you have to do is write a very detailed review of what you think should/will happen OR what you want to happen. Go on guys, get reviewing. Go Go Go!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Sorry this is late guys, but last night I was very busy wrapping presents for my little sister because today is her birthday! Happy birthday Charlie. This chapter is dedicated to Twillow, who is new to fanfiction and sent me a lovely review - this one is for you Twillow:) I also wanted to say, If you guys have any questions about me or this fanfiction - leave a review with your questions/queries and I will answer all of them at the beginning of the next chapter:)  
**

**DFTBA  
Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review (Ask me questions!)  
MadcapScribbler. **

After half an hour of aimlessly looking around the train, I decide that the only sure fire way of finding Peeta is to go back to our room and wait. Besides, my hand stings like mad. I walk back to the room, calm and a little distracted. It's still empty, Peeta must still be looking for me. I walk into the en suite and run my hand under the tap. I watch as the blood mixes with the water, swirling in a spiral down the sink. Eventually my hand stops bleeding and I wrap it in some bandages I find in the cupboard.

After half an hour of waiting, Peeta still isn't back. However it's a big train; so I am not worried. I am a little hungry though, so I look at what's on the 'snack' table. I nibble at a bread roll before realising that I'm not just a little hungry, and I feel close to starving. I start eating more and more, trying everything on the table: Bread, rice, chickpeas, meat, fruit, nuts, berries, cakes, pastries and chocolate. Once I've eaten it all, I become tired. I don't want to sleep but then I catch sight of the clock on the bedside table on my left. 11:32. Peeta still isn't back. I decide to try and get some sleep so I crawl into bed and snap my eyes shut.

About an hour later, I hear Peeta stumble into the room. I open my eyes and see his figure struggle to stay up in the dark. I slowly climb out of bed and put the light on. He walks straight past me and makes his way towards the snacks table. He heads straight for the drink, something he's clearly had a lot of.

"Peeta" I say, my voice hushed. He doesn't hear me, so I make my way towards him, trying to stop him from pouring himself a glass of some murky liquor. I make a grab for the bottle before he pushes me back. I stumble backwards onto my tailbone. As soon as he's done it, Peeta realises exactly what's just happened.

He runs to my side, offering me his hand. But his movements are too fast; too jagged. I flinch subconsciously. I flinched. At Peeta. Trying to help. We both freeze for a moment, assessing what just happened.

"Kat… I" He begins. His words slurred. He's very drunk. Too drunk to remember any of this by the morning. I decide to pretend none of it happened and get on with life. Too much has happened recently for me to let this become another burden.

"No, Peeta. Come on. Let's get you some water and then bed, ok?" I say bluntly. He nods incredulously at my new authoritative tone. He sips at some water quietly before getting into bed. Within seconds he's out like a light, which isn't surprising.

The next morning, I am woken up by a knock at the door. It's an Avox girl. She gives me a look as if to say "may I come in?" so I let her. She immediately begins to clean up the broken glass from yesterday.

"Oh, hey, be careful!" I call. "You don't want to cut yourself on that." I run to her side, deciding that I shouldn't and can't allow myself to watch someone risk injury for a stupid thing I did. I help her gather the broken shards and empty them into a bin. She looks at the food enviously as she does so. I notice that her skin is yellowish and unhealthy-looking. She's very thin too. Almost too thin; she looks malnourished.

"Here" I say, handing her a bread roll. She looks at me, as if she's waiting to find out I'm joking. "Seriously, take it. I'm not going to eat it. Or anything on this table to be honest. Help yourself." I say. She cautiously takes the bread roll out of my hands, nibbling at it slowly. "Feel better?" She nods politely in response. The avox then quickly exits, leaving me alone whilst Peeta sleeps.

He's woken up about an hour later by the train wide speakers with an automated message.

"We will be arriving at district 12 in just under 2 hours." It's robot like voice is static in the system. Peeta moans as he opens his eyes.

"Kat…can you dim the lights? They're really bright." He tells me. I look at him for a moment before speaking.

"It's daylight, Peeta, from the window. You remember what the sun is, right?" My voice is slightly sarcastic.

"Yes" he says, matching my tone only quieter and more in pain. He moans again, holding his head. I walk out into the en suite, looking through the same cupboard that I found the bandages. I find a large box of headache tablets and some medicine my mother used to give to drunks that had come into the house injured; it works almost instantly, that's why she used it. I pour Peeta a glass of water and make him take some of the medicine. He gets better within about 5 minutes.

"So…" He says.

"So."

"Uh. What happened last night?"

"Not much" I say, falling back into a chair. "You would know more than me."

"Oh"

"Do you remember anything?"

"Not really" He admits. "I went to look for you after our argument. I couldn't find you so I decided to sit down and think. Some avox girl gave me a drink and next thing I know, I've had 4." Neither of us are really in the mood to talk, me because of Gale; Peeta because of his hangover.

"Did you sleep with someone?" I shock myself with the question.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Kat, no. God no. I... How could you even ask that?"

"I don't know" I sigh. "I just. I guess I'm paranoid."

"Did. Did… Gale ever…"

"Oh for god's sake Peeta, of course he did. He thought I didn't know but it was obvious."

"Kat…" He gets out of bed, kneels by my side and wraps his arms around my waist. "I could never do that to you. Never. No matter how drunk, how high, how crazy I was. I couldn't even do it if someone held a gun to my head and said I had to. Please, you have to believe me, I would never ever do that." I look him in the eyes and give him a small smile.

"I believe you Peeta. I'm just tired. And stressed. And the guy in the cupboard told me to apologise for freaking out last night. So I'm sorry"

"Guy in the cu- What?"

"Never mind" I laugh.

"Ok…"

* * *

We finally arrive in district 12, the sun is setting and the evening air is cold. I wrap my jumper around my waist tighter, just stretching it over my stomach.

"Here" Peeta says, taking his jacket off and draping it around my shoulders.

"Thanks" I say.

"That's not what I was talking about" Peeta laughs. I'm about to ask what he means, when he picks me up and holds me like a baby.

"Peeta! Put me down." I screech.

"No" he laughs, beginning to walk home.

"Put me down, right now!"

"Shut up or I'll start running" He carries on laughing, carrying me all the way home.

I've come to the conclusion that no matter how mad I get at him, or how long we fight; Peeta and I will always make things right.

**Aw, there you go guys. The next chapter is going to be a good one, my friend Mollie (Aka Olivia Undersee-soon-to-be-Mellark) is very excited about it:) Don't forget to send me questions. I will try and answer all of them! Go go go!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Well guys. This chapter is rather special. It is one that my friend Mollie, the real life Olivia Undersee, has been waiting for for ages! So this is dedicated to you, Mollie! I hope you all like it! Please keep sending me your questions, I will answer EVERY SINGLE ONE. They can be any questions about me, my writing or this story. So go on, ask away.**

Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x

I wake up, bathed in pale sunlight. I'm still tired from the trip, even though we've been back home for 2 days now. Today, however, I don't get a lie in. Today is the day of the wedding. I look at the clock; 8:10. I'm supposed to be at Pip's house in 20 minutes to help Olivia get ready.

I get out of bed so fast, I practically fall. I run in and out of the shower, quickly tying my still-wet hair in a loose braid and throwing on some clothes. My bridesmaid costume is at pips, along with everything else we'll need to get ready. Olivia slept at Pip's house last night, basing her decision on some tradition her mother told her, about how sleeping in the same bed as the groom the night before the wedding is unlucky or something. I didn't believe it, but rule one of weddings: The bride is always right. I take half a second to check and see if I've got everything. I have. I look at Peeta, who is still asleep, lucky sod. I give him a quick kiss on the cheek before mumbling "see you later" and heading out of the door.

When I get to Pip's, Madge opens the door.

"You're late" she says, melodically.

"And you're in your PJs" I say, sticking my tongue out at her.

"Shut up." She says "Prim even got here before you."

"Well she's always punctual, and I overslept" I say.

"Katniss!" Pip beams. "You finally got here. Do you want a drink?" She's in her PJs too.

"Uh, no I'm fine thanks. Where's Olivia?"

"Oh, she's back in there" She nods back to what I assume is the living room. "I'm just sorting out her hair. If you two want to get your dresses on, they're upstairs in the room immediately on your left. Prim's already changed."

"Ok" Madge and I say, perfectly in sync.

"Oh, and try not to wake up Micah. He's still asleep." Pip calls as we make our way up the stairs.

When we get into the room we both grab our dresses and quickly put them on. Prim walks in just as we're admiring each other in the new outfits.

"Hi" she smiles. I don't say anything. I find myself staring at her. The pale pink dress, identical to the one that Madge and I are wearing, fits perfectly on her petite structure. Her hair spilling over her shoulders like a golden waterfall. She has no makeup on, but it doesn't matter; her face is as fresh as a raindrop.

"Wow prim" I say. "You look…"

"Amazing" Madge adds. "You look amazing"

"Uh. Thanks…" Prim says, her voice bashful as her cheeks blush. "You guys look really nice too"

"I know" Madge says. We laugh at her sarcasm, before going downstairs.

When we are downstairs Pip gets all of us, including Olivia, a drink. Then she disappears upstairs We sip at orange juice and talk for a while. Olivia's hair is done, falling in loose curls over her shoulders.

"So… what's it like?" Madge asks

"What do you mean? _What's it like. _It's stressful."

"Alright, calm down. Drink your juice" Madge says sarcastically to her sister. Olivia responds by taking a defiant swig of her drink.

"Are you ok, Kat?" She asks, turning away from Madge.

"Yeah, you?"

"I'm ok. Bit shaky."

"I'm sure everything will be fine" I smile, giving her a bit of reassurance.

Pip returns to the room, along with her brother Micah. He's prims age, although he's a little bit taller than her, with olive skin and very dark hair. Pip is in her dress, the same on that me and the other bridesmaids are wearing.

"Hey guys. This is Micah. He wanted to come down and say hi."

"Hi Micah" we all say, almost at the same time.

"Hi." He says, at which point Prim turns around to look at him. "Prim?" he asks, somewhat incredulously.

"Hey Micah."

"You look… Um… very nice." He says, his voice getting quieter and his cheeks getting redder as he gets shyer. Olivia, Pip and I exchange looks before coming to a silent agreement.

"Hey, Micah; prim could use a date for the wedding. You see we've all got one, and she might be left alone, which wouldn't be ideal. You could come if you want." Prim whips her head around and stares at me, her eyes cutting into my skin.

"_Katniss_" she hisses before turning back to him. "It's fine. You don't have to. If… if you don't want to that it…"

"Uh. I don't mind…" He smiles.

"Ok…" she accepts timidly. "Thanks."

"Right, well if you're coming kiddo, you better go and get changed." Pip says as she pushes her brother up the stairs. "Wear something nice"

About 20 minutes before the wedding, Olivia gets changed. Her dress is white, but not anything like a 'conventional wedding dress.' It's short, stopping at the knee, with long lace sleeves. There is lace along the hemline as well. Her shoulders are bare. We all stare in awe at the dress.

"So…?" Olivia asks.

"It's beautiful" Pip beams.

"Wow, sis." Madge exclaims.

"Where did you get it?" Prim asks. I elbow her in the ribs. "Ow." She hisses, "what was that for?"

"Being rude" I tell her.

"It's ok" Olivia says. "My mother bought it in 4 when she and dad went travelling. Believe it or not, she has everything for my wedding at home. Shame it'll never get

used, huh"

"I'll have it" Madge jokes.

"You're welcome to it" Olivia tells her. "I'm not going to use it am I?" the room goes quiet. Pip looks at the clock before breaking the silence.

"Right, guys, we should probably get going"

The wedding is held in the meadow. Rye's friend Jonas leads the ceremony; his father is the only vicar in all of twelve, so Jonas knows everything about marriage. The official nonsense is discussed first, before the vows.

"Ok, Adrian, would you like to say your vows?" Jonas asks. Adrian nods slightly before speaking.

"Olivia, I guess it goes without saying that I love you. I mean, if I didn't then this wouldn't be happening; we wouldn't be here. I'm sorry that it's so rushed. I'm sorry that we are stood in the middle of a field. But I'm not sorry that we are here, doing this. I'm proud to be able to call you my girl, and will be even more proud from this day onwards to be able to call you my life. I promise to be there, in sickness and in health, richer or poorer, better or worse. I will always love you."

"Ok, and Olivia?"

"Adrian. I have never really been good with words. Or with expressing how I feel. But I have always been good at doing the right thing. Standing up for what is right. Not doing what people say I should. I'm glad that I'm here with you. I don't care if my parents don't want me to be. In the past I have spent my time doing what I was told. I've constantly been told to do what is right for my future, but you know what? I love you present tense. I will continue to love you, future tense. No matter the conditions."

"Adrian, do you take Olivia Undersee as your lawfully wedded wife, through the best of times and the worst?"

"Yes. I do."

"And Olivia, do you take Adrian Mellark as your lawfully wedded husband, through the best of times and the worst?"

"I do. Every time and always"

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride."

**Aww, did you like it? Don't forget to send my questions. I promise to answer all of them, so go on. ASK ME THINGS! **


	33. Chapter 33

**Here is the next chapter guys! I really like this one, so i hope you guys do too. I would like to mention that Pip, aka: Ohitsonlypeej on fanfiction has just started her first story. It's called eyes, and it's amazing so you should all go and check it out! Love you all, and keep reviewing and sending me questions, i love reading them and I will answer them all together in an authors note before one of my chapters, so keep them coming. I WILL ANSWER ALL OF THEM!**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review!  
DFTBA  
Madcapscribbler x**

That evening, after all of the official paperwork was done, we stayed in the meadow. We ate and talked and laughed and danced for hours, and nobody cared about how dark or cold it was getting. Peeta even convinced me to dance with him, even though I hate it.

"Hey, even your sister's doing it" he says. I look back over my shoulder to see Prim and Micah dancing; her arms around his neck, his around her waist.

"Fine" I sigh reluctantly as I take his hand and hop onto the ground. I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his should.

"I love you Kat." He whispers as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"I know. I love you too." I mumble against his shoulder.

"And I'm sorry…" he trails off, as if he's deciding whether or not to say the next part. "…for pushing you when I was drunk. I didn't mean it, I promise. I know you've probably heard this a million times, but you have to believe me; it will never happen again."

"I know it won't" I say, bringing my head up so I can look him in the eyes.

"Really?"

"Yeah" I bite my lip. "Gale never looked so hurt after something like that happened. You looked devastated. And you didn't do anything to try and redeem yourself. So it's fine." I kiss him; I don't want to thing of the bad things. Not today. Today is a day of celebration. A celebration of love. And love is good. Love is nice. Love is protection.

* * *

The next morning, I'm startled awake by Rye screaming from behind the door. I get a sudden feeling of familiarity when I realise exactly what boat I'm in. For obvious reasons, Peeta and I have slept in. I press my lips together, trying desperately not to make a sound. I look at Peeta.

"Peeta, I swear to god if you are not downstairs, dressed and ready for work in 5 minutes; I will kick open this door and drag you down for work, dressed or not!" Rye yells. Peeta turns to face me, and scrunches his face up as he listens to his brother.

"Alright, alright. Calm down!" he shouts back.

"That goes for you too Kat!" Rye adds. I instantly feel my cheeks begin to burn, Peeta smirks at me before shouting back to him.

"Hey, that's my girlfriend you're talking to!"

"I don't care, between the hours of 8am and 7pm, she's an employee – so get a move on"

We get dressed and I make my way downstairs.

"Sergeant Everdeen reporting for duty" I joke I meet Rye in the Bakery.

"You're late" He sighs. "Where's Peeta? Is he still asleep?"

"He's on his way, calm down. Trust me, he's not asleep after the racket you made! I hope you didn't wake the newlyweds…"

"That'd be difficult, seeing as they're not here."

"Huh?"

"They stayed the night at Olivia's uncle's house or something. He's away for the week so he gave them the keys while he's away."

"Oh… So. What do you need me to do today?"

"You can take Adrian's job; work the till"

"Ok." I smile, grabbing my apron and getting straight to work; re-writing on the board, re-stocking the loaves. Things like that. Peeta follows slightly later before getting his head bitten off by his brother.

"Alright, calm down… I was just checking the post" he says, slightly frustrated. "Kat this came for you." He says, handing me a crystal white envelope. I look at it for a moment before smiling at the boys.

"I'll read it later." I say. Peeta gives me a comforting look; he knows who the letter is from. Rye is about to ask but the phone rings, interrupting us and taking us all by surprise.

"Hello?" Rye answers it politely. "…uh huh… yeah… uh… I'm sure that would be do-able…yes…ok…alright, see you then…ok…ok, bye" He jots something down on a piece of paper and puts the phone down.

"Well Peet, guess what you're doing today?"

"Huh?" Peeta asks, completely oblivious as to what is going on.

"That was some woman down in Amberview, we've got to make a delivery."

"Amberview?" He asks with a sigh "But that's like 2 hours by foot."

"Yes, and we get to carry bread for the entirety for those two hours, so stop complaining and get a move on" Rye says.

"Hey you know what?"

"What?" Rye asks

"I prefer Adrian as my boss."

They continue to quarrel like 5 year olds for a few minutes as they get ready.  
"Hey Kat, do you think you'll be ok if we leave you here? We'll make sure that the shop is closed for the day."

"Oh, uh, yeah it's fine" I say, being brought back to reality by Peeta's words. "Have fun"

"I won't" he smirks before leaving the building.

* * *

About 20 minutes passes without me realising it. It would be more, only the bell above the bakery door goes and I suddenly find myself saying "Sorry, we're closed" before I'm even aware of what's happening.

"Oh." I say when I see who it is "Hey pip"

"Hey Kat" She smiles "Is Rye around?"

"Oh, no… sorry. He and Peeta went out to do a delivery. They won't be back for a while."

"Oh. That's ok. How are you?" She asks as she hangs up her jacket on the coat hanger by the door.

"I'm ok." I sigh, my attention falling back on the unopened envelope.

"What's that?" She asks as she takes a seat on the stool in front of the counter.

"Oh. It's nothing. Well. It's a letter."

"Ooh. Do you know who it's from?" She asks excitedly.

"Unfortunately I do."

"Then why haven't you opened it?"

"Because." I begin to tell her "It's about the case"

"Oh right." She looks at the ground. "Hey, how did it go? I'm assuming you won?"

"Yeah" I sigh.

"Then why are you afraid to open it?"

"I'm not afraid" I argue. Pip gives me a look to tell me that she knows I'm lying. "Fine" I say defiantly, picking up the letter. I rip open the perfectly sealed adhesive back and pull out the matching crystal white paper. I scan over the words quickly and become more and more depressed at the letter than I thought I would.

"So…?" Pip asks; eager to know what it says. "

"Confirms the worst." I tell her.

"What's the worst? I don't know what the worst is."

"At the end of the trial, Gale was given a decision. He could become an avox for his crimes or he could be hanged. This letter is an invitation to watch him die."

"Oh." She says, somewhat timidly. "That's… not what I was expecting"

"Yeah."

We sit in uncomfortable silence for a while.

"I'm sorry I made you open the letter."

"It's fine. I had to do it sooner or later, and I'd rather it be with you than with Peeta or one of his brothers. I mean, I love them and all, but they're just so protective."

"Can't blame them. You've got quite a past and well… they're loving guys. They'll do whatever it takes to stop you from getting hurt."

"I know. And I owe them everything for that. They helped me through the hardest times and now, with the baby and everything that's happened, I couldn't have asked for better people to be around. I don't just mean Peeta, Rye and Adrian either. You and Olivia and Madge, even prim is so grown up now; you all just give the best advice."

"Speaking of prim, she's been spending a lot of time at mine."

"Sorry."

"No, it's fine. She spends all of her time with Micah and if I do see her, she's lovely and polite."

"She always was the nice one in the family."

"Oh, you're nice too. Your problem is, you never give yourself enough credit. So Gale lowered your self-esteem, so he's given you a bad past; go out and get the future you deserve. You said it yourself: You are surrounded by amazing people who want you to be happy and to protect you. So be happy, you are in safe hands, enjoy the on-going game of life. God knows it's what the rest of us do. Don't think about tomorrow. Think about now. I'm not going to spend my time lurking in the past, and I certainly don't think death is something I need to worry about, so neither should you. Celebrate the present, and enjoy it."

**Don't forget to check out 'Eyes' by Ohitsonlypeej! It's a fab story and you should all read it and follow it and review it and love it and yeah. x**


	34. Chapter 34

**OK. Questions will be answered... just not yet. Keep sending them in, I have plenty to answer already, but it's not to late, so ask me anything! WARNING: This chapter ends in a severe cliff hanger... sorry not sorry.  
Also, are you guys still there? I hope you're not bored of this story... Sorry if I bored you, I didn't mean to :(**

**This Chapter is dedicated to Alivegirl4ever2012 for sending me the best question so far. (It will be answered soon I promise)**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review (Most dramatic reviewer gets the next Chapter dedicated to them!)  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x**

A few months later, everything starts to settle down. Adrian and Olivia moved out, not of our lives – just the bakery. They wanted space to themselves, which is completely understandable. Madge and Olivia now help out at the bakery, which means there are now 6 of baking, stocking, waiting on customers and tidying. Pip set up her own shop just across from the bakery, selling clothes that she makes; turns out that she's amazing at sewing. Prim sometimes helps out there, just as an extra pair of hands. Prim's 15th birthday has come and gone, but with the reaping on round the corner, I'm starting to get a bit panicky. Peeta's picked up on this, and constantly reminds me that everything will be fine; telling me that stress isn't good for the baby. Speaking of which, I went to the doctors. Well, Peeta dragged me there against my own will, but whatever. Everything is fine and I am expecting a baby in about two and a half months.

This morning, I wake up and look at the clock. 9:30; I've overslept again. Why didn't Peeta wake me up? I sigh as I pull myself out of bed, sleepily step into the shower and jump out moments later. As I brush my teeth, I look in the mirror and think. A weird feeling comes over me. A feeling that I haven't felt in a while. _Something bad is going to happen. _I've had this feeling a lot over the years; just not recently. When I was with gale, the feeling was pretty much a given. Then when Peeta stepped into my life, the feeling was less apparent, until it gradually just disappeared. I try and push the feeling, and any thoughts it brings with it, away and go to get dressed.

I pull on a blue cotton smock that fits nicely over my 6-and-a-half month baby bump. As I walk downstairs, I hear customers that have already come in and it's a busy morning. I walk through the room, nonchalantly, into the kitchen and grab my apron.

"Oh hey, you're up" Peeta beams. He's way too much of a morning person.

"Yeah, how come you didn't wake me?"

"I didn't want to disturb you. It's just work"

"Just work?" I sigh "Peeta, I'm pregnant, not incompetent."

"Ok" he laughs "I promise, tomorrow, I'll wake you at the crack of dawn"

"Good" I say, tying my apron defiantly and walking out of the room.

The morning is very busy; the bakery is constantly filled with people wanting bread and cake and pastry and allsorts. Business as usual then. Word is out, as it has been for a while now, about the baby, and many of the customers congratulate me and talk to me about it. As I clear a table, a boy – who looks like he couldn't any older than 7 – runs up to me and asks:

"Miss, why do you have a football up your top? Are you hiding it?"

"No" I laugh at him "No, I'm going to have a baby."

"Oh" he says, looking a bit puzzled. "And it's in your tummy?"

"Yeah." I smile.

"Did you eat it?"

"No" I laugh again. "It's haven't come out yet"

"huh?" He says, looking even more puzzled then before. "Why not? Is it scared?" he cups his hands around his mouth and whispers into my stomach "There's nothing scary out here. You can come out if you want" I kneel down so that I'm at his level.

"Do you know what, I don't think it's scary either; I think the baby just wants some time to get ready."

"Oh. Ok." he giggles "Bye, Miss" He says as he excitedly runs off.

* * *

Later that afternoon, when there are only one or two customers left in the bakery, Pip walks through the doors. She comes round every now and again to say talk to us all when business is slow, or when she just wants a break. We exchange a quick 'hi' before I go and find Peeta in the kitchen. He's been baking all day and therefore has flour all over his jeans, his apron, his shirt, his face and even in his hair. I laugh at him.

"What?" He asks, oblivious to my laughter.

"Oh it's… uh… you got a little something on your…" I point indecisively in the direction of his face. He looks down at his shirt and hands before looking at me with a sarcastic face.

"Oh. Ha ha. Nice one Kat…" he flashes a half false, half sincere smile before walking towards me "Now give me a hug" He laughs.

"No chance" I laugh, running away from him. He chases me around the kitchen for a while, until we are both stopped dead in our tracks by a crash and a scream. We freeze where we are both giving each other a questioning look before running out into the bakery.

I watch as the last customer, a woman a bit older than me, runs out of the bakery in terror. It's what she's running from that scares me the most. Amidst a pile of broken glass and china, and a table on its side is Madge. She's holding a tray out to protect herself from the knife pointed in her direction.

"WHERE IS SHE?" Thom, the one holding the knife and one of gale's old friends, screams.

"Who?" Madge cries, still holding the tray out in front of her head.

"KATNISS. WHERE IS SHE?"

"I'm here" I say calmly. Thom averts his head from Madge's direction, giving her the chance to escape. She runs towards us, into Peeta's readily opened arms. He holds her close for protection, pulling her away from the situation. It's only now that I notice Rye and Pip at the doorway across the room. Adrian and Olivia, as far as I'm aware, are still outside; they won't have heard anything.

"What do you want Thom?" I ask, slowly making my way towards him.

"Katniss…" Peeta calls quietly. I look at him, nodding slightly to let him know it's ok. He nods back, still hugging Madge.

"Why are you here? Go on. Tell us all. You've got an audience now. _Perform."_

"You killed him." he snarls.

"Killed who?" I ask, even though I know the answer.

"Gale. You killed gale."

"No I didn't." I say, struggling not to raise my voice.

"YES. YOU. DID" he shrieks. "You had him arrested, you had him lose the case and then you didn't even have the guts to show up last week."

"_Didn't have the guts? _Did you ever consider that I just preferred not to go and watch the capitol make a show out of a death?"

"I didn't need to consider, because we both know that's not the case."

"So what are you doing here? What do you want?" I change the subject.

"Revenge" he says, simply. "Your life for his."

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" I say.

"But a death for a death makes a lot more sense."

"_We both know that is not the case_" I repeat his words.

"Fine. Kill me then. Kill me and then I'm gone. You have your perfect life back."

"I'm not going to kill you, Thom"

"You've got to try, Everdeen."

"And if I don't?" I ask.

"If you don't…" He starts, walking away from me. "She dies with you" He grabs pip and holds her by her neck with his elbow, resting the tip of the blade on her temple.

Everything goes blurry at this point. I can't kill him, but I can't be responsible for Pip's death. I watch as her breathing starts to speed up and then slow down and never remain at a constant speed. I look at Rye, who is angry but knows that if he makes a single move, that knife is going straight into her head. I look at Pip. Amazing, wonderful, impossibly important pip… I will not be responsible for her death. I will not have her blood on my hands.

Just as I turn back to look at Peeta, Adrian jumps over the counter and runs towards Thom. The room goes silent; I'm not sure if nobody is making a sound or my mind just isn't registering them, but the one thing is does register is the glint of light that hits the steel blade Adrian's carrying.

And that is when the blood starts pouring.

**Sorry about the cliff hanger... Most dramatic review possible gets the next chapter dedicated to them! x**


	35. Chapter 35

**I apologise for any upsets this chapter may cause. I don't want to ruin any of it before you read it though; so I will explain more at the end. This chapter is dedicated to Teampeeta999. Thanks for the review.**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x**

Thom and Adrian fight for a while and everything gets far too chaotic. Peeta pulls me out of the way; grabbing me the wrist and physically pulling me back. I can't move. I'm so caught up in my thoughts, it's paralysed me. Rye continuously screams at pip to run. She has now managed to sneak out of Thom's grasp, and is backed up against the wall.

I watch as Adrian and Thom wrestle. I watch as nobody tries to help. I watch as we all come to the realisation that if Adrian had ever been reaped, the chances are he'd come home a victor. He pins Thom down to the ground, straddling his stomach; knife to his neck.

"I'm not going to kill you Thom." Is the first thing he says.

"Why?" Thom verbalises what we're all thinking.

"Because, I'm a decent person. But I swear to god if so much as touch any one of these girls… or my brother's for that matter, I won't think twice about slicing your neck."

"Ok."

"I want you to get out of here; I don't want to see you here, in or around this building, again. I want to make it clear that if you set foot in this bakery again, I will call the police and tell them everything about your involvement in Gale's case."

"You can't prove I had anything to do with it" He protests

"I wouldn't be so sure" Adrian says; his voice low and gravelly.

"Fine"

"Now what are you going to do, when I let you go?"

"Go home"

"Good." Adrian says, standing up and walking away from him. Thom stands up and looks me straight in the eyes.

"He says he's sorry." He tells me. "Gale, that is. He told me to tell you that he's sorry." I don't respond, but I hold my stare. He drops his knife on the floor before leaving.

Olivia runs to Adrian, checking he's ok. Peeta makes sure Madge is ok, before trying to see me. I don't look at him, my eyes are fixed on Pip.

"You're bleeding" I say, not moving or changing anything about my voice; I can't do anything but make the statement. All eyes turn to Pip, and Rye runs up to see her. She's holding her hand over the wound, but the blood is sticking to the fabric of her shirt, giving it away.

"Oh my god, pip." Rye says, his voice quivering "It's really bad."

"No, it's fine" she lies.

"No, it's not. Come on, I'm taking you to the hospital…" He takes her hand but she doesn't move.

"I can't move, Rye"

"Then I'll carry you" He lifts her into his arms and carries her like a baby. She shakes her head.

"Rye, it's too late. There's no point."

"No, you're wrong" He says, his voice catching in the back of his throat. "You're wrong."

"Not this time."

He falls to his knees, Pip still in his arms. The blood is seeping through her shirt onto his; she's still bleeding, and a lot. Peeta runs into the kitchen before reappearing with pain killers and wet towels. Rye won't let her go, keeping her in his grip.

"Rye… stop it. Stop crying" Pip tells him.

"We've got to get you help" He half sobs.

"It's too late for that, you know it."

"I'd rather die trying than not try at all."

"Shhh. Don't say that"

"No. I've only just got you back, I'm not giving you up that easily"

"You always had me, Rye. And you always will."

"Right. Because I'm not going to let you go. I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep. Listen, Rye. When I die, which is sure to be soon, I want you to promise not to blame yourself. You have a tendency to do that… I don't want you blaming yourself for something that couldn't have been prevented, Ok?"

"You just told me not to make promises I can't keep."

"Rye… sometimes, you have to make promises you're afraid of breaking. But love is keeping those promises anyway. You need to keep this one promise. Even if you lie and cheat and steal for the rest of your days, you have to keep this one promise." Rye doesn't respond out loud. Tears start to fall down his cheeks as he bites his lip and nods.

"I'm sorry"

"For what" Rye asks, sniffing back the sobs.

"For everything. For the abortion. For leaving. For coming back."

"Don't say that!"

"It's true, though"

"Shhhh. No it's not. You've done so much. Stop it."

"If I didn't leave we wouldn't be hear"

"But if you didn't come back I would never be ok again"

"Look after Micah when I'm gone, yeah?"

"I will. I promise I will."

"He's lost so much already, please don't let him lose you"

"I won't. He'll be ok. _You'll be ok."  
_

"I think it's a bit late for that…"

"No. It's ok. You're ok."

"Rye, stop telling yourself that I'm fine. I'm ok, but I'm not going to be for much longer."

"You have to promise me something too, Pip" Rye says, quickly and desperately.

"Yeah?" She says, her voice gradually getting quieter.

"Remember me." he whispers.

"I couldn't ever forget you" She smiles as much as she can, clutching the wound.

All of a sudden, Pip winces in pain; Rye holds her hand tighter, her petite figure still lying in his arms.  
"No" he cries "No, Pip stay with me." he doesn't get a response. "Pip! Pip, I love you. Look at me… please."

He begs and cries and sobs as he holds her limp body in his arms and rocks her. He pulls her up into a supportive hug, managing to smudge blood on his hands, shirt and face. He kisses her forehead and lies her down on the ground, finally admitting defeat; Pip is gone.

**Ok, so I am very sorry that I killed off Pip. I want to explain that I've been planning it from the beginning - and Puja (The real Pip) Has also known from the very first chapter that Pip was going to die. I will admit that I was really quite sad whilst writing this chapter, and even thought about changing the ending, but I stuck with it and here we are. I have even been called 'Moffat' (Sherlock/Doctor Who fans will understand) I'm sorry for the loss, but assure you that things will hopefully get better. Love you all *hugs all of my readers* Thanks for reading, Hoping to have another chapter up tomorrow - MadcapScribbler x**


	36. Chapter 36

**QUESTION TIME. Yes, it's finally here! Ok so here goes:**

**_Are you a girl or a boy?_ I'm a girl  
_Where are you from? _Well as creepy as this question is, I'm from England.  
_Where did you get the inspiration for 'Bones'? _I honestly can't remember. I don't think there was a moment where I looked at something and thought, wow I've got an idea for a fanfic. It was kind of just a thing that came to me from nowhere.  
_Are you going to update 'Forest Fires'? _Soon, hopefully. I've not really had any thoughts on it at the moment. I'm trying but I've hit a bit of writers block.  
_What's the REBEL awards? _I didn't know about them until I was nominated, they're basically fan run awards in which fics are nominated and can be voted for by YOU. (It would be awesome if you guys would check out the REBEL awards community and/or go vote for me:3 )  
_How do you write in such detail so quickly? _I honestly don't know, It's just something that comes naturally with time.  
_I want to write like you, can you give me some tips? _Ok, I really don't think I'm all that great at writing, but my tips for writing well would be to write a bit everyday and read lots. Read anything. Fanfiction, real books, magazines, newspapers, anything with words:)  
**

**Ok that's all for the moment guys, don't hesitate to ask me questions at any time. This chapter kind of has a plot twist in it, so I hope you enjoy being teased. Love you all! This chapter is dedicated to CherriBunni16 (aka everythingall) for leaving me so many lovely reviews withing just a few hours.**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x**

* * *

I can't sleep that night. I'm surprised that Peeta can, but I suppose we deal with things differently. After tossing and turning for hours, I finally admit that I won't get any sleep and decided to get up. I look at the clock through the darkness. 3:21. Great. I sigh as I walk out of the room and down the stairs, stopping only when I voice interrupts my thoughts.

"Where are you going?" Rye asks. I was so distracted by myself that I didn't even notice that I was in the bakery, about to walk out of the door. I didn't even notice rye was in the corner of the room. Then again, I don't think I would notice him even if I was fully conscious; his tall figure hiding in the shadows at the back of the room. The moon's light cascades an eerie glow over the upturned table on the floor in the centre of the room. I walk around it, not wanting to touch it – the scene of devastation that has been created in the room.

"Out, I guess." I sigh, not really knowing where I was going to go at all.

"It's cold. And you've got no shoes on." I look at my feet. He's right; I've not even got socks on.

"Oh." I sigh as I fall into the chair opposite him, after that it goes quiet again.

I watch Rye, who doesn't do anything but stare at his hands on the table. His eyes are somewhat different to how they were a few hours ago. What were bright green pools of light have now reverted to dim grey puddles. Unfortunately, I am all too familiar with this look – the look of complete helplessness and self-loss – a look my mother adopted as her own as soon as my father died. No crying, no screaming, nothing.

"How do you do it?" He whispers, not moving, his gaze remaining fixed on his hands.

"Do what?"

"Keep going?" he moves his head so that his eyes are on mine.

"I… I didn't. Not to start with. But I guess…" The sudden realisation of the truth I'm about to speak of hits me like a tonne of bricks. "…I'm used to it" I gasp quietly. "I mean, the first person I lost was my dad… that hurt me more than anything. Then with Gale, when he hit… eventually I got used to it… but then he was gone too, and now Pip and I don't understand how I can just accept the fact that these people are gone now. I don't understand why that is and I wish it wasn't like that but it is and…" I stop myself when I see how Rye is looking at me, and how loud I'm getting. "I'm a horrible person" I mutter. I feel Rye's hands clasp over my own.

"No you're not" He whispers back. "You're so much more than you credit yourself for."

"And so much less than everyone seems to believe."

"Kat, look at you; look at your past. You lost your dad, you looked after your sister, you fell in love with the wrong guy; you managed to keep looking after your sister even though you were in an abusive relationship, you managed to fall in love; this time you fell in love with the right person, you saw that your friend was in danger; and you warned her and protected her, you were kidnapped, you escaped the kidnapping on your own; with no help, you got pregnant; you keep going, you had to take your past and private life to court; you won the court case, someone who used to be your friend was sentenced to death; you acknowledged all of the good points and bad points that brought up, our friend died; you keep going and I am sat here feeling sorry for myself. You always keep going, tell me how that is in anyway unimportant."

"But that's the problem." I sigh "I'm so confused. I don't know if I'm getting too big for my boots, or if they're too big for me."

"Maybe they fit perfectly." He says.

"I doubt it… I just-" I am stopped by Rye's lips on mine. At first I am completely shocked, but after a second or two, I close my eyes and kiss him back. The kiss last for ages and is desperate and fulfilling and almost perfect until I realise what I'm doing and where I am and who I'm with. I pull away quickly and open my eyes.

I try and speak but "Rye." is all I can manage; after that my voice shuts off. He must realise that it was a mistake too, and surprisingly, he says what I am about to.

"Please don't tell Peeta" his voice is so sad it's as if he's almost begging; as if his whole life depends on it. I nod silently, still unable to say anything.

"Kat… Please talk to me. Just say something…"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would it matter if Peeta found out about…" I trail off before picking up my words again "…why does it matter to you?"

"Because he's my brother and I've never been anything but a jerk to him." he answers bluntly. "I'm getting a drink" he grimaces as he stands.

"I think I need one too" I say. He stops in his tracks and slowly turns to face me.

"No."

"What?"

"You're pregnant; I'm not letting you drink."

* * *

The next morning, Rye is hung-over and I am asleep in the chair. Peeta wakes me up, tugging on my shoulder. I open my eyes to see him sitting next to me, his eyes blue and sorrowful.

"Hey" he smiles slightly "You alright?"

"Mmm..." I nod, feeling gross.

"Sure?"

"Yeah. Just a little tired."

"I can see that, how come you're down here?"

"Couldn't sleep," I yawn "I almost went on a barefooted-midnight walk, but Rye stopped me."

"How is he?"

"Honestly?" I ask, Peeta nods for me to continue "He's completely broken."

"Has he been drinking?" Peeta asks, staring at the passed-out figure, half lying on the table, who happens to be his brother. I nod slightly. Peeta sighs.

"He does it to forget, you know? Say's it drowns out the pain. He used to come back every night at some ungodly hour and just fall asleep on the kitchen floor."

"To forget?"

"Yeah." Peeta turns his head to look at me "Something tells me he's not going to forget this one."

I bite the inside of my cheek as soon as Peeta says that, because the truth is; Rye isn't trying to forget Pip. He won't ever be able to and he never wants to. He wants to forget the mistake that happened a few hours ago. I've learnt recently that Rye and I are very similar, and that a small mistake can look bigger than it is to us, because it's symbolic of everything we've ever done wrong.

"Kat?" Peeta's voice snaps me back to reality.

"Huh?"

"Never mind." He sighs; looking at the state the bakery is in. "You know I love you, right?" He asks, turning back to face me. I look into his eyes and nod, a slightly crooked smile forming on my face.

"Of course" I say.

He kisses me and I kiss him; that's when the guilt kicks in.

**Ok, the next dedication goes to the person who writes the best review about the kiss (your thoughts on it/how it made you feel/what you think will happen as result of it...) I'm sorry this wasn't up yesterday - I was babysitting!**


	37. Chapter 37

**Ok, so this chapter is very word heavy and doesn't have a lot of dialogue, but I needed to add in some 'Katniss reflection time'. This chapter is dedicated to someone that I've been meaning to mention for a while. So, pumpkinking5, this one's for you. I love all of you, but I really do appreciate it when you guys take the time to write long and thought provoking reviews, so thank you! I would really like it if you would vote for this story in the REBEL awards. All you have to do is go to safeandsound12's profile, and click 'vote now' on the poll at the top of the page. If you do vote for me, tell me! Then I can thank you personally!**

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MadcapScribbler x**

Since Pip's death, Peeta becomes even more protective and loving than ever before. I guess it's because he wants to make sure if anything like that happened to one of us, I'd know that he loves me. And that's the worst thing. I know he loves me. I love him. And I did a terrible thing. I thing I can't ignore because it sits in the back of my mind every time he kisses me. I don't let him hold me when I sleep anymore; complaining that I'm just very tired or stressed because of the baby, and like he's already told me a million times: Stress isn't good for the baby.

Tonight in particular, is one of the worst. I lie in bed, turned away from Peeta, staring at the wall. Tomorrow, I will officially be 2 months away from my due date and that means 2 months or less away from having a real baby to have to protect; and here I am, not managing to keep myself or fully capable adults out of danger. If anything, I put them in it.

Pip's funeral is tomorrow. I can't stop thinking about it, I've lost so many people in my life, yet I've never been to a funeral; I'm dreading it. Micah didn't deal with the news so well. He's staying here with us now too. The bakery is big, but not big enough for 5 adults and a teenage boy. Olivia and Adrian are going to move out into pip's old house and Micah will stay here, so Rye can look after him. He hasn't said much since we told him. He cried a bit, but that was all. This, in no way, means that he's not finished grieving. But we all deal with pain differently.

And this is what leads me to think about the kiss again. Was it to do with the pain? Pain or no pain, kisses usually happen for a reason. What bugs me most isn't the fact I don't know why Rye did it, but more the fact that I am unsure of why I kissed him back. Peeta knows that something is up, and I'm pretty sure that he doesn't believe it's just fatigue and stress. He knows that something is going on but won't ask, because he is far too much of a gentleman. The real question is: When does he get so worried about it that he goes looking for the answers on his own accord?

I sit and listen to the slow tick of the clock, each second seeming further apart from the last. I want to talk to someone about it, about everything, but that means actually admitting to somebody what I did. I can't tell Peeta; Rye told me not to, and I don't really want to tell Peeta yet, even though I will have to at some point. I could talk to Adrian, but he isn't here and I need to talk to somebody now. I guess if I was patient enough to wait until morning, I could talk to Madge about it, but she might not respond well to it and I can't afford to lose a friend. Even if I did tell any of these people, I risk the chance of Peeta finding out about it from someone other than me. I don't want that to happen. He needs to hear from me. I guess he could hear it from Rye, but that won't happen. Rye actually hasn't talked to anyone but me since Pip's death, and that was the night of the kiss.

I know that the funeral tomorrow will be dreadful. As important as I know it is that we are all there, I don't think I can deal with it. Peeta keeps telling me that it will be a good way to say goodbye, but I don't want to. And if I don't want to say goodbye, god knows how Micah and Rye must be feeling. God I feel sorry for Micah. I can't imagine how I would feel if I lost Prim, never mind if she lost me. Actually, I doubt that anyone would miss me if I died. It should have been me, not Pip. I killed Gale, and I killed Pip. I could have stopped it; I could have died and she would be safe. But I didn't. I was completely paralysed by stupid thoughts and I did nothing.

I look down at my stomach, stroking it gently.  
"I'm sorry" I whisper. I don't want to bring a baby into the world. I don't want to be responsible for any damage that may be done to this tiny little life. I don't want to do it. But Peeta wants me to do it, and that is enough to convince me to do anything.

I look over at him as he sleeps. A small frown is painted on his face, he's not looking forward to tomorrow too. I want to wake him up but I don't; he needs sleep as much as I do – and if I can't get it, I'm not going to prevent him from sleeping. He's bundled up the quilt and is hugging it slightly. I wish he wasn't asleep. I wish I could see those eyes. I long for those eyes. No. I can't. Seeing them means waking him, waking him means talking, and talking means telling him; that's something I can't afford to do.

Maybe I could tell Prim. She would understand… actually, she would understand less than anyone else. She could be the one person that it would be ok to talk to, if I can just wait until the morning. I look back the clock. 2:16. I can't wait until morning, well. I can't wait until daylight. Maybe I should close my eyes and get some sleep.

I snap my eyes shut and pull the quilt up over my head, refusing to open my eyes the tiniest bit. I try and count myself to sleep, imagine sheep, everything; nothing works. When I finally admit to myself that tonight will be another sleepless one, I crawl back out from under the covers. I sit up right, my arms crossed over my belly. I do some more thinking, knowing that it will make me angry, but I can't do anything else. I don't want to get out of bed, mainly because last time I got out of bed in the middle of the night, I almost went on a subconscious stroll around town.

Before I know it, tears are rolling down my cheek. I'm not sobbing or making a sound; instead I just stare at the bump of my feet under the quilt and let the tears stream. I am only aware that I'm crying by the overwhelming wet-salt taste that coats my lips. I stare more at my feet, pointing and then relaxing them. Eventually the tears stop and I wipe my face with my sleeve.

"Kat?" I hear Peeta's voice speak out in tiredness in the dark. "Are you ok?" He must have woken up and seen me drying my eyes.

"Yeah" I whisper "Go back to sleep, I'm fine"

"You're clearly not." He pushes himself up so that he's sitting up next to me.

"No I'm fine. I promise. Just… go back to sleep"

"No, Katniss, what's up?" _Katniss…_ He called me Katniss. Not Kat, like usual.

"I…" There's never going to be a good time to tell him. "You still love me right?"

"Still? Kat, I will _always _love you." He takes my hand "Why would you think otherwise?"

"I love you Peeta, you have to remember that. You have to promise to remember that."

"I… sure. I will. _I do._"

"I did a horrible thing, Peeta. I did something that I don't think is forgivable."

"Huh? Kat you're shaking"

"I…" I can't bring myself to say it.

Peeta waits, eagerly and tiredly for me to explain. I look away from him and back to the bump where my feet are. I bite the inside of my cheek.

"The night that pip died… or the morning after I guess, really early that morning, I err. Rye stopped me from walking into the street in the dark. He um. Anyway… I was talking to him about pip and…" I stop for a minute and take a breath, only just noticing how quickly I've been speaking. "He kissed me. And I kissed back. And I shouldn't and he didn't want me to tell you because he really loves you and he realised he made a mistake so please don't be mad, but if you are going to be mad… be mad at me."

Peeta looks me in the eyes for a moment without saying anything. Eventually, when he speaks, his voice is timid and hushed.

"You kissed him?"

"Yes." I say, hardly breathing

"Oh"

**:O Sorry about the cliffhanger guys, I just love them so much! The next dedication goes to the person who writes the best review about what they think Peeta's reaction will be. Do you think he'll be understanding or hateful? Or maybe you think otherwise. Let me know, I love your reviews for the last chapter guys, they're amazing! x**


	38. Chapter 38

**I would like to start by saying how impressed I am at the sheer brilliance and intelligence of the reviews for the last chapter guys; I thoroughly enjoyed reading them all. I would also like to thank Khaya (Yes the Khaya that 'khaya' is based on) and AllStarConverse10 for voting for me in the REBEL awards. It means a lot that I was just nominated but to know that you guys are voting for me is the best feeling, love you all! This chapter is dedicated to GirlOnFire99 for the heartwarming review you left me. It made me feel like writing this has been worth it all, so thank you. **

**Don't forget to Folllow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA  
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Peeta looks at the floor for a moment, completely avoiding my eyes. I wait for him to say something, anything at all, but he doesn't make a sound.

"Peeta…" I rest my arm on his bicep but he pulls away.

"I need some air." He says, still not looking at me. He gets up and walks out of the room. I make no attempt to follow him or find out where he's going; he needs space. I watch him as he leaves; shutting the door behind him, and thus the overthinking begins again.

I must fall asleep at some point, because I'm woken up by a knock on the door. I pull my head up from the pillow and blink my eyes awake. It's Rye. He looks dreadful; his eyes are red and puffy and his hair is dirty and matted. At least he looks sober for once. He gives me a look as if to ask if he can come in, so I nod as I pull myself up into a sitting position. He joins me on the bed, sitting opposite me, his legs stretching the material of his jeans as he crosses them. He's not changed out of those jeans in a few days, but other than that he carries on with life silently. We both look at each other uncomfortably, waiting for someone to speak.

"How come Peeta left at ten past three this morning?" Rye asks, emotionlessly.

"I told him." My voice is cold.

"Why?"

"Because he needed to know; don't worry, I told him that if he was going to be mad at someone, he should be mad at me."

"Kat, we both agree that what we did was wrong, right?"

"Yeah"

"Then why did it happen?"

"I don't know"

"Do you… Do you think she's disappointed in me? For betraying her. Because that's what I did: I betrayed her. She'd only been dead a few hours and look what I did!" he starts to shout before breaking down into tears. "Look what I did."

"No, Rye. We both know that she could never be disappointed in you. Never, do you hear me?" he chokes back the tears and nods.

"You know, you're the only person I talk to now. Adrian doesn't want to talk to me most of the time, and he's too busy playing happy families with Olivia. Micah doesn't say much at all and I doubt Peeta will want to talk to me now."

As I listen to Rye's words, I realise how selfish I am. But that's not the only realisation I make. Rye and I have both been through so much in terms of bad and unfair happenings, and both of us are aware of this. We are also aware that, although so many people have it better than us, so many people have it worse. However, just because somebody's pain is greater than our own, does not – in any way – soften the pain we feel every day. It's all very well saying somebody deals with something worse every day, but how does that make us feel any better? It doesn't. If anything, it makes us feel worse for feeling sorry for ourselves.

"Do you know where Peeta went?" I ask.

"No. He didn't look like he knew where he was going either."

"What if he doesn't make it to the funeral?"

"He will. And if he doesn't then I understand. And I'm sure she does too"

* * *

Sure enough, Rye was right. The next day, during the funeral, Peeta is there on time. He takes a seat next to me, but doesn't attempt to make any conversation, so we remain silent. The only part of the ceremony that I take any interest in or notice of is Rye's eulogy. I watch as he walks to the front of the building, shaking slightly as he reaches the desk. He looks down at his notes for half a second before shaking his head and putting them inside his jacket pocket.

"I don't want her eulogy to suck, so… I'm guessing that something I wrote whilst hammered at three in the morning won't be what I'm looking for." He starts, nervously. "I want to start by thanking you all for being here. If pip were here she'd thank you all personally, but err, I'm not quite the people person she was. _She is. _I really need to get out of the habit of saying was. She still exists, even if not visibly." He takes a deep breath and swallows before continuing. "Eulogies usually start or contain somewhere how much of a wonderful person so and so _**was**_. How loved they _**were **_by their family and friends. I don't want this to be like them. You see, Pip used to tell me to 'enjoy the on-going game of life' and to 'celebrate the present'. So my question to you is: when does this stop? I know that if the tables were turned and that if it was me up there and her standing here, she would be continuing to enjoy that on-going game that is too often too short. And that's exactly what it is. _Too short. _You might think I'm rambling, but hang on, I'll get there. I want to stand here and say that I _am _celebrating the present, and thanks to her I can. She is my motivation, and she always will be. She **_is_** such a wonderful person, and she always will be. She **_is_** loved by her friends and family,**_ and she always will be. _**I love you Pip. I love you, here in the present. And I always will."

I phase out for the rest of the funeral. However, when I blur back into consciousness, I realise that I have been sat on a stool in the bakery for a while. Judging by the time, I must have been here for a few hours, and god knows when the last time I blinked was. I find myself staring at Peeta, who is at the opposite end of the room focusing on the glass in his hand. Nobody seems to have noticed me however; looking around the room everyone seems pretty preoccupied. Rye is talking to – or should I say being talked at by - various friends of pip, who seem to be thanking him for such a beautiful eulogy. Olivia and Adrian seem completely oblivious to anyone else in the room; fully engaged in rapid conversation. Even Prim and Micah are sitting together and talking. She's the only one he seems to want to talk to nowadays.

Eventually, when the others leave and the 8 of us; Peeta, Adrian, Rye, Madge, Olivia, Prim, Micah and I, are left people begin to engage in what seems to be some sort of group conversation. The nature of the chat appears frivolous and unimportant: Something along the lines of 'is anybody hungry' or whatever. I manage to accidentally return my gaze to Peeta, who is still staring at the glass. I'm shocked to see that the look on his face no longer expresses concentration – and probably never did. Now, it is more of a look of sheer anger and hatred.

"Peet?" Adrian asks, tapping him on the shoulder; Peeta's been less involved in the conversation then I have. He doesn't respond.  
"Peeta?" Adrian asks, his voice tinted with a mist of desperation; as if he knows something that we don't.

All of a sudden Peeta throws the glass on the floor, smashing it into oblivion. Various screeches and exclamations of shock from everyone in the room follow shortly after. Even I manage to let out a short but almost silent gasp. Peeta slowly stands up, looking as if he's about to apologise or redeem himself, but no. He walks towards Rye, who is standing in the same knowledge that I am, waiting for something bad to happen. Nobody sees it, but as Peeta faces Rye, looking up ever so slightly at the giant that is his brother; Rye whispers something. Being the only witness, I can't be sure, but I'm almost certain that I see the words 'I'm sorry' roll of his lips. With one swift but solid motion, Peeta punches his brother in the face.

Everyone watches Peeta as he walks away, towards the stairs, without so much as uttering a word. Rye clutches his face in the palm of his left hand, but he too remains silent.

I have no idea what just happened.

* * *

**Sorry if this chapter seems somewhat shorter than the rest; it's not, it's just quite word heavy like the last one. I'm hoping to add a lot of dialogue into the next one. I'm also sorry that this is later than usual... I've been very busy with revision today:/ (I swear if I see or hear anything else about ionic bonding, I will not hesitate to scream!) The next dedication shall go to the person who writes the best review about their favourite bit of this story so far. It can be about a storyline, a romance, a character; anything. The more detail, the better! x**


	39. Chapter 39

**Ok, so I have some exciting news! 1. This fanfiction is currently number 1 in the REBEL awards, so thanks to all of you who voted so far, you're amazing. 2. This chapter has a very exciting visitor in it! 3. The next chapter is CHAPTER 40! And will be up very soon (hopefully within an hour!). I am going to choose my favourite review so far to dedicate the 40th chapter to, but please do review this chapter and the next so I have some to choose from for chapter 41! I love you all and I love this chapter, so I hope you like it too:) **

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review/Vote for Bones in the REBEL awards!  
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Nobody says or does anything. Rye and I exchange a look; a look that has no obvious emotional connection behind it at all, it's just a look to share our understanding. I can't help but feel, however, that Rye knows something.

"I think I should look at that" I say, my voice showing as much emotion as my face.

"Ok" Rye says, and we excuse ourselves from the room.

There is a first aid kit in the kitchen, so Rye and I walk in, shutting the door behind us. I get out the first aid kit and look at the minimal things I have to my advantage. It's not a lot; a bit of antibacterial stuff for cuts, some bandages, plasters and some cotton wool. I notice the Rye's face is actually bleeding, so I pour a bit of the antibacterial liquid onto some cotton wool and dab his face with it. He winces as I do, occasionally making noises in pain.

"So you want to explain what's going on?" I ask him, not daring to take my focus away from the injury.

"I could, but there isn't much to explain"

"I don't care. We can't just ignore this."

"Peeta punched me, I deserved it. That's really all there is to tell."

"Ok, but why didn't he attack me."

"I would hardly call it an attack, and is that not obvious"

"You've got a fractured cheekbone – I think that counts as an attack, and what do you mean _obvious?_"

"I spent his whole childhood being a jerk to him, then I disappeared when I really shouldn't, then when the drinking and one-night-stands stopped, I kiss his girlfriend. He's finally big enough to fight back. There's no way he's going to punch you is there. Even if he wasn't completely head over heels for you: You. Are. Pregnant." He says the last bit loud and clear. I find myself shaking with anger at the last words.

"Do you think I forget? I _know _I'm pregnant. I know all too well. Has anybody thought that maybe I don't want to be? Did that thought ever cross your mind? Because surprise, surprise, I don't. I don't want to have a baby. I don't like what it's doing to my body. I don't like how in two months, I'm going to have to start protecting a baby, as well as myself. I can't protect anything. I managed to be in a relationship for several years, in which I was abused day in, day out. Then, I managed to get the person killed, which down in the scheme of things killed Pip. And don't tell me it wasn't my fault, because it was. I can't talk to my mother, because she thought I had done something stupid and life ruining. She was right. I have. I'm sick of these limitations; I can't do this or that 'because I'm pregnant'. Other than the fact it's illegal to have an abortion, the only reason I kept this stupid baby was Peeta, and he won't even talk to me now, because I'm Katniss, and stupid things seem to be the only thing I'm good at!" I scream and run out of the room.

I guess that everyone was either listening in or I was just shouting loud enough, because they all look at me, completely gobsmacked. I barge past them all, only catching a glance of Madge, and walk out of the bakery.

* * *

It's not cold necessarily, but the evening air is cooler than I expected. I walk up the road, past all of the shops, through the seam and continue walking. There is only one thing in this direction and I have no idea why I would want to be there, but I find myself walking towards the train station. I have no intention of getting on a train, but the station is empty and I soon find myself sitting on a bench at the platform. I watch as the wind blows a dry green leaf across the broad cemented pavement.

"Well you've changed since the last time I saw you." I hear an unfamiliar voice utter. I look up to see somebody that I feel I should recognise, but just can't put a name to a face. The owner of the voice looks a little older than me; tall, broad shoulders and a tanned complexion. He has matted golden brown hair and sparkling green eyes.

"That would depend on the last time you saw me" I answer back, not caring who he is anymore.

"Hawthorne trial." He says bluntly "Uh, I'm Finnick," He holds out his hand, "Finnick Odair."

"Katniss Everdeen" I say, shaking his hand. Of course I remember him now; hunger games victor number 65. He won it when he was Prim's age, lucky sod.

"Oh, I know. That was quite a case you got yourself into."

"Hmmm. I wish random strangers would stop remembering me for that."

"Oh, well the capitol played it up big time, so that might be why"

"Great" I sigh, looking at my feet. I feel Finnick sit next to me.

"So you wanna tell me why you're so glum?" I look up at him, confused by his choice of words.

"Glum?"

"Yeah, glum, it's a word." He says very matter-of-factly.

"I know it's a word, I just didn't think you – Mr sexy – would be one for using it"

"Oh so you think I'm sexy?" He teases, before returning to seriousness. "So what's up?"

"I made a mistake"

"The best of us do."

"A big mistake. _Quite a few big mistakes actually."_

"Care to elaborate?"

"I… where do I start?" I sigh

"The beginning?" He suggests

"Right. Well getting pregnant. That's mistake number 1." I think about it carefully "Wait, no. Falling in love with the wrong person is mistake 1. Mistake 2 was falling in love with the right person. Mistake 3, uh, well that would have to be getting pregnant… mistake 4, living long enough to get pregnant. Mistake 5 would have to be kissing Peeta's brother. Mistake 6 waiting so long to tell him about it"

"Woah… And I thought I'd made a lot of mistakes." Finnick smirks. "Look, Katniss, let me be honest with you. Everyone makes mistakes, so don't be too down on yourself. Especially not about falling in love with the wrong guy. Kissing Peeta's brother… well Peeta was that guy that saved your life right – the guy at the trial?"

"Yeah"

"Well, he looked like a nice guy, so if it really was a mistake – he won't hold a grudge. He clearly loves you. I mean, it was obvious at the trail, and is obvious now that you love him too, hence Mistake number 2. Mistake 6: there was never going to be a good time to tell him, eh, so just be glad that you _did _tell him. Getting pregnant, I know it sounds cheesy, but it could be the best mistake you ever made. What bothers me is the fourth one. Why would somebody like you want to end such a beautiful life?"

I sit and think about it seriously, there are too many answers to pick from, but I decide that answering with the freshest memories.

"I killed two people. Not personally, but they died because of me."

"One of these people I'm guessing is Gale?"

"Yeah."

"You want to tell me who the second one is"

I tell him about Pip and Thom and Rye and everything that's happened recently. I'm on the brink of tears throughout the sentences, but Finnick doesn't stop me. He listens intently to the whole story.

"I honestly cannot express to you enough how that was not your fault." He says when I'm done. "And you're going to make me a promise. You're going to promise me that you'll go home, you'll sleep, you'll talk to Peeta and you will carry on living. Do you hear me? You're not going to kill yourself tonight, or tomorrow, or ever," He takes both of my hands in his, "Do you understand?"

"I…" I decide against speaking, but nod anyway.

"Good. Now, do you know when the next train will get here?"

"Uh, no. Why?"

"I need to get to twelve and meet Cinna."

"Cinna?"

"Yeah… Cinna."

"How do you know him?"

"He's my stylist. How do _you _know him?"

"It's a long story. Tell him I said hi."

**Yay, Finnick! He is one of my favourite characters and I couldn't not put him in the story. Please do vote for the REBEL awards, I love all of you that already have, so thank you muchly! I look forward to reading your reviews and I'm going to eat an apple before uploading Chapter 40! **


	40. Chapter 40

**Ok, so I finished my apple (it was gross) and now I present to you: CHAPTER 40. ASDFGHJK. You are probably wandering why this is such a big deal to me, and to be honest, it's because I have never carried out a story for this many chapters OR had such good reception on a story - so thank you. **

**I have decided to dedicate this one to a few people, seeing as it's the 40th and all. These people were chosen because they have either persistently reviewed on my story or have left a review that stuck in my mind because it was so heart warming. So: CatchingFire75, CherriBunni16 (everythingall), KittyCatnipKatniss (Jade), Pumpkinking5, HiddenSecret564, Kat'sTheName, Mrs-Hutcherlark and Mellark's Heart; I hereby dedicate the 40th chapter to you guys. **

**I want you all to remember that even if you weren't mentioned personally, I am still going to dedicate chapters to people and I still love all of you who have ever read/reviewed this story. It means a lot. **

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
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* * *

I wait with Finnick until his train arrives, waving him off when it does. I return to the bench for a while, just thinking before eventually gaining the courage to go back. It's pretty dark now, and by the time I get back, I'm surprised to find Adrian and Rye still sitting in the bakery. Rye looks up at me but says nothing. Adrian however, gets up and hugs me. I feel like crying, which I guess makes sense, but I don't. I refuse to share any emotions with anyone other than Peeta from now on. The hug is long and friendly, and just before letting me go; he whispers "Rye told me everything" into my shoulder. I take a deep breath in and put on a brave face before pulling away from the hug.

"Where is he?"

"Upstairs," Adrian tells me, "Although I wouldn't go up there if I were you. I'm not sure that its safe."

"What do you mean _safe?_"

"Well he's been breaking things since you left and considering you're preg-"

"Let her go Adrian." Rye says. "She's capable of looking after herself" Adrian looks at rye and then back at me. He raises his eyebrows as if to say "Alright then" I give him a quick nod before running upstairs.

I slow down as I reach the top of the staircase, stopping completely at the top step. I can hear Peeta breaking things and screaming from here, and the room is down the corridor, with the door shut. I tense up at the sound; it reminds me a bit of the days when I used to lock myself in the bathroom and sit by the door as I listened to gale scream obscenities at me. That's when I stopped myself. Peeta is not Gale, and I won't let him be. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and count to 10. I open my eyes and take several definite steps before stopping behind the door. It's not locked; it sticks out slightly when it is, but this time it's very definitely shut. I clasp the handle in the palm of my hands before twisting it and pushing the door wide open.

I manage to get Peeta's attention just before he throws a lamp to the floor. As soon as he sees me, he puts the lamp down, carefully, on the bedside table. He looks at me for only a second before having to blink back the tears.

"Peeta, stop" I tell him.

"Stop what?"

"Being angry at Rye," I say "You should have talked about it with me, not punched your brother in the face"

"I… I…"

"_You_ what? It wasn't fair on Rye. Especially today, the guy's already broken to bits about Pip."

"I don't know why I did it."

"Neither does anyone else." I sigh as I sit on the edge of the bed, staring at broken parts and smashed glass that are scattered across the floor. It's like the aftermath of a bombing. "I'm serious though Peeta, you shouldn't be mad at Rye. I could have stopped it but I didn't."

"But that's the thing," Peeta sits on the bed with me, although he keeps his distance, "I can't be mad at you."

"What do you mean."

"It's like, if somebody starts a fire; you don't blame somebody who walked by and did nothing about it, in the same way that you don't blame the person who created the match that lit it. The person you do blame is the person who struck the match and let it burn."

"Well what do you do if someone runs into the fire even though they know they're going to get burnt?"

"Think they're stupid, but perhaps they had an ulterior motive"

"And if they didn't?"

"You graciously accept that they got hurt too, and everyone makes mistakes."

"Ok." I sigh "So if everyone makes mistakes, why can't you accept that Rye made a mistake?"

"Because when someone makes the same mistake more than once – and he's managed to pull stuff like this for all of my life – you begin to think that at least once, they meant to hurt you."

"Oh…" I say, my voice quieter now. "How come you didn't shout at me, or get angry, or punch me in the face though?"

"Like I said, you got hurt too. And besides I remember what happened on the train."

"What?" I ask, my voice nothing but an incredulous whisper. I didn't think he remembered.

"When I was drunk, don't pretend you've forgotten Kat because I know you haven't. I pushed you and when I tried to help you up, you flinched. You flinched as if I was going to hurt you."

"I didn't think you remembered that."

"Because you wanted to forget." He's right. I don't want to remember that night. "You looked so scared, Kat. I couldn't believe that you were that afraid of me; that I had made you that scared. But I had, and it hurt me more than it hurt you, so I promised myself to never hurt you again. Not while I'm still me and you're still beautiful. I don't know when or if I'll stop being me, but I know that there will never come a day when I don't see beauty in your eyes."

When he stops, a comfortable silence fills the room, a silence that I have grown familiar with in these recent months; a silence that I have become particularly content with. Peeta moves closer towards me, taking my hands in his before sweeping the hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear.

"I'm sorry I kissed your brother"

"I'm sorry I punched him"

"I love you"

"I love you too"

"Then why do you look so sad?" I finally ask the question that's been playing in the back of my mind since Peeta put the lamp down.

"Because, I heard you talking to Rye… well I heard what you said about the baby."

"You did?"

"It was kind of hard not to… I'm pretty sure everyone heard it."

"Oh." I say, already regretting asking the question.

"And, I can't help but think. Well. It's kind of my fault…"

"It's not your fault, Peeta." I sigh.

"I think it kind of is," he says, very sure of himself, "…unless the baby is Ga-"

"Ok, in that regard it is your fault," I admit, "But I didn't mean it like that. I meant that you shouldn't think of it as your _fault_. Think about it as your blessing. Our virtue…" I smile as I'm reminded of something Finnick said, "This baby could be the best mistake we ever made." He gives me a small smile.

"You might just be right." He says.

* * *

**Well there you go guys, Chapter 40. There will be another one up tomorrow, as per usual, but only one because I have A LOT of revision to do. Thanks for reading so far, and I hope you'll carry on reading until the end x**


	41. Chapter 41

**So this chapter doesn't have a lot of drama in it, but what it lacks in suspense - it makes up for with fluff! It does also have a bit of a twist/beginning of a story line at the end, so do keep reading! This chapter is dedicated to rsc2001 Thank you for reviewing - you're amazing. **

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Vote for the REBEL awards/Review!  
DFTBA  
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Peeta wakes me up way to early. I swear it's the middle of the night, or it feels like it at least. I Rub my eyes a little and squint at the clock. Surprisingly, it's 7:45. I should be getting up for work, but I already feel my eyelids getting heavier and heavier.

"Katniss… Kat… you gonna get up?"

"I… um… yeah"

"You don't have to"

"What, no I need to go to work…" I mumble sleepily.

"Kat, you're going to have a baby in a month or two, seriously – you're allowed a break."

"Really?" I ask with tired surprise.

"Yeah… let's call it maternity leave?"

"Ok" I say as I fall back onto the pillow, pulling the covers back up past my shoulders.

* * *

I must have fallen asleep again, because when I wake up, it's 10:25. I get up and leisurely have a shower before pulling on some black trousers and a stretchy green top that I've had for ages. I'm surprised it fits, but it stretches over my stomach with room to spare. I slip on my favourite boots and buckle them up below the knee before making my way downstairs. As much as I love that it's my day off, there's no way the boys are going to keep me out of the bakery.

The bakery is already in full swing by the time I get there, and there are very few empty tables. I smile at the thought of not having to do anything about it, but sit and perhaps read. I want to go hunting again, but I don't think that Peeta would like the idea of letting me go alone, and – although he wouldn't admit it – I'm pretty sure he'd hate the idea of coming with me.

I take a seat on one of the empty tables by the window and think about what I should do; I've never really been much of a stay-at-home girl. I like to go out, visit places, do things; it's how I grew up. I guess I could go to the hob. I haven't been there for a while, and the reaping is coming up, which means I need to find a good luck token for Prim. It's a sort of tradition for siblings or parents to give the kids a good luck charm or something here in 12. I remember for Prims first reaping, I gave her a spoon. I know it was weird; I mean she gave me the funniest look, but I just had a feeling when I saw it, that it would keep her safe. Hey, she wasn't reaped so I guess it worked.

"This," Peeta brings me back to reality by placing a cup of coffee on the table in front of me, "is from some blonde. He says you look very beautiful this morning and is glad to see that you got some sleep" I give him a smirk

"Well could you tell that blonde that, although it's very sweet of him to get me a free drink and compliment me, I am in a serious relationship" He returns my smirk with a playfully serious smile.

"I will pass that message on"

"Thank you" I say, this time giving him a real smile and a quick kiss before he rushes off to serve some other people.

* * *

I sip at my coffee and watch people come and go as the morning drags out. I make up my mind and decide that I will go to the hob, but after lunch. Peeta has a break at 12:45, so I will eat with him and go when his shift starts again. I look out of the window and find myself mesmerised by a cloud. Its bright white and the shape that a cloud should and shouldn't be all at once; like one in a children's drawing.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" a man asks, tapping me on the shoulder. I turn around and am about to say yes, even though it's not, but then I realise who it is.

"Finnick!" I beam, thinking about getting up, but decide against it, as I don't want to embarrass myself.

"Hey," he shoots me a friendly look, "how you doing?" He takes a seat opposite me, instantly gaining the attention of some girls around him.

"I'm ok. How about you? You seem to be getting quite a bit of… well"

"It's annoying isn't it. Personally, I'd have thought that being a victor would put them off… but apparently not."

I think about what he says for a while. It's true; victors are usually considered as celebrities across Panem. And now that I think about it, it's sick and contradictory. As districts, we hate the games and we hate what people have to go through if they – or somebody they know – are reaped. Yet here we have a classic example of somebody who came out alive and is getting attention because he's attractive. He's not even from this district; he killed two people from our home in order to be made into eye candy.

"It's fine," I swallow, biting my tongue to hold back all of my thoughts. "How come you're here?"

"Well, Cinna decided that we should stay here instead of in 4. I mean, we both hate it in the Capitol, and usually I love going back home for a while. But with the reaping coming up, I'd rather stay away for a while… what with it being my first year mentor-free"

"Oh right, yeah, the kid from 4 one last year didn't he."

"Right. Zachariah. I knew his brother."

"Knew?"

"He died… some illness that they couldn't cure"

"Oh. I'm sorry"

"No no, it's fine."

"So, Cinna is here too?"

"Yeah, we're staying up in victor's village for a while. Although, a house each is a bit extensive…"

"Welcome to the Capitol's country" I say with a false smile.

"Well hey, if you want to visit any time… feel free" He says in a mock seductive voice.

"I'll have you know I have a very loving and committed boyfriend" I laugh at him.

Olivia walks over to us. She looks half asleep and very bored.

"Hey Kat, you want me to get rid of this?" She asks, gesturing to my empty mug.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Thank's Olivia." I say, holding it up to her. "This is -"

"Finn?" she beams at him "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, Livvy!" he matches her tone "Long time no see"

The two of them burst into immediate conversation before explaining that Finnick used to stay at the mayor's house when he used to visit 12 on 'Capitol Business' as he called it. I don't know what business he ever had here, but oh well. The two of them rush off to go and see Madge; who, Olivia is sure, will be equally as excited to see him.

Peeta finishes his shift and joins me at the table for lunch. We eat and talk and everything is normal for a while. I could get used to this, _being happy._ I eat a sandwich and drink an entire strawberry milkshake in about 0.34 seconds. Peeta talks about the baby and work and everything that normal people would do in this situation.

I can't help but notice, however, that across the room, while he cleans a table; Adrian is having some difficulty taking his eyes off Finnick, Madge and Olivia. His face is plastered with a look that can only express concern. When I look back to see Finnick, I instantly know why. Finnick's eyes are filled with a faint glow; a glow that, if I'm not mistaken, looks like love. Finnick Odair is in love.

* * *

**Ok, so bit of a cliffhanger/story beginning there. I hope you liked the chapter guys, if you did, don't forget to send me a review... The dedication for Chapter 42 will go to the person who writes the review that will make me cry (emotional tears) the most! x**


	42. Chapter 42

**New Chapter guys! I'm sorry that there's not a lot of drama at the moment, but there's only so much that can happen at once, and I have a big dramatic plan for some time in the not-too-distant future! I do love reading your reviews, so please keep them coming. The next chapter should hopefully be quite Fluffy, so I look forward to posting that! This one is dedicated to a new reviewer: ZuPOP. Here you go, I'm glad you like the story so far! x**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Vote for the REBEL awards/Review!  
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I push all thoughts of Finnick and Adrian and Olivia out of my head. If he is in love then good for him, if not that's fine. If he's in love with Olivia, that is not my problem and I'm sure Adrian will be able to sort out the situation properly and besides, Finn's a decent guy; he wouldn't try and make a move if he knows that Adrian and Olivia are together.

"So, what are the plans for this afternoon?" Peeta asks.

"Oh… uh, I was thinking about going to the hob – see if I can find Prim some luck"

"Ah right, yeah I need to do that too. I'll have a look tomorrow."

"You don't need to get her anything."

"Sure I do," he smiles, "I mean – she's family right?"

"Right," I match his smile. The conversations falls into comfortable silence for a while before Peeta speaks.

"You know, with everything that's happened; we haven't really given much thought towards the baby."

"Well I've given it plenty of thoughts… but somehow I feel like you mean something else."

"Yeah… I guess I mean; names and we have literally nothing for the baby to sleep in or where or eat."

"Right," I laugh, "So where do you want to start?"

"Well my shift is about to start, but how about you go to the hob, get what you want for prim and then we'll talk out it tonight?"

"Sounds good," I smile.

"Alright, have fun at the hob honey," Peeta places a kiss on my forehead, "I love you"

"I love you too"

I sit where I am for a while, just watching Finnick and Olivia chat with Madge. I wander if I should talk to him, but remind myself that it's not my business to be dealing with and decide to get up. After the minor struggle that was getting up from the table, I grab my jacket and head outside.

The sun is shining and the air is warm on my back, but I keep my jacket on because it's comfortable. As I make my way to the hob, I see some kids playing hopscotch on the street. Neither of them are older than 10 by the looks of it, so they're safe. I hate the fact that the reaping is in the summer. My birthday is between the reaping and the games. Prim's is after mine but still during all of the games and everything that comes with it, so birthdays were never really considered big in our family. We'd occasionally get presents if we could afford it, but 9 times out of ten we couldn't. Besides, the likelihood of knowing at least one of the tributes from 12 is high – seeing as it's such a small district – so celebrating was not something we like to do when somebody we knew was fighting to the death.

Actually, now that I've thought about it further, my birthday is in 2 weeks, which means that Prim's is in just over a month. That, of course, should be shortly followed by having a baby. I still refuse to believe that I'm going to actually have a baby. It's not the giving birth that concerns me; it's actually having a baby to look after and to protect and to hold and to be around.

I push all thoughts of the baby and the games and birthday's out of my head. I walk into the hob – which isn't all that busy - and immediately walk over to a familiar face. Greasy sae is standing at the back of the room, stirring some soup. Although it is grey and lacks any form of visual appeal, it smells delicious; if I hadn't just had lunch, I'd be tempted to have some.

"Hi" I say, pulling her concentration away from the broth for a moment. She's obviously not expecting to see me, because when she looks up, her eyes brighten.

"Katniss!" She beams walking a few steps to embrace me, "you're back!"

"Yeah. Wait, back? From where?"

"Your mother told me that you went to the Capitol"

"Oh, right yeah. That was a while ago now."

"I can tell," She takes a moment to look at my stomach, "she didn't mention that though"

"Hmm," I sigh, "Mum wasn't the most… understanding when I told her."

"I'm sure she'll come round," Sae says hopefully, "do you want some soup" she asks, stirring it around a pot for a while. I shake my head no, telling her that I've just eaten and sit with her for a while, just talking and catching up with each other's lives.

Eventually, I leave sae to go and have a look for some luck for Prim. I look around at all of the things that are laid out as neatly as possible on tables. There is everything from berries to hammers, clothes to cutlery. I scan through the clothes, picking up jumpers and dresses and blouses but I find nothing. I search through the shoes and hair accessories without luck as well, and just as I'm about to give up, I see it. A small ribbon-bracelet with a mockingjay token on it, just like the necklace Peeta gave me when I was locked at Gales.  
"How much is this?" I ask the woman who is sitting, uninterested, behind the table  
"How much you got?" She asks. I rummage through my pockets and hand over a few coins. The woman nods as if to say "That'll do" and I take the bracelet and leave.

On my way back to the bakery, I bump into Finnick once again.

"Hey kitty Kat," he chirps.

"Hey Finn" laugh at him, surprising myself a little. I guess I'm just in a good mood

"May I walk with you?"

"Uh, yeah sure…" I say, a tiny bit taken back, but oh well.

"Hey, Kat… do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Umm, no, go ahead"

"If you, uh, were friends with someone when they were a kid… would it be weird to ask them… oh I don't know, to dinner or something."

"It depends who the friend was"

"Why?"

"Because if it's Olivia – she's married"

"Livvy?" He asks incredulously "I know she's married… what made you… why would you… what?"

"Never mind" I shake him off "Who's the friend Finn."

"…Madge" He admits.

"Hmm," I start "Well; she's very easily impressed, she likes a flirt, and I would just ask her"

"Really?"

"Yes. Oh and a word of advice," I start. Finnick raises his eyebrows and silently awaits the advice. "Don't upset her. Not for her sake, for yours. She's a big girl and if you upset her she'll get over it. Me and Olivia, however, will not hesitate to wrestle you to the ground and tear out your internal organs with a blunt fork."

"Got it," he says with a slightly nervous smile and a thumbs-up, "Thanks Kat"

"No problem." I smile and with that, the conversation is over. We soon start another one though and chat all the way home about nothing particularly. It's nice to know that, for a little while at least, things are going to be normal again.

**Aww. Ok so the next dedication goes to the person who writes the most elaborate review about what 'Big dramatic storyline/plot twist" they think I will be adding is! Get reviewing guys, Love you! X**


	43. Chapter 43

**I'm sorry that I didn't update yesterday! I really am - I was very very busy doing this that and the other so I didn't have time to write. But oh well, here it finally it: Chapter 43. This chapter is for Bettyrose for the lovely review about the WHOLE story - that was really sweet and made me really happy, so thank you. As I said, this chapter is another calm one, it's kind of cute and is very relaxed compared to what's ahead. I hope you enjoy the peace and quiet (and break from the feels) Because a feelsplosion is in the air...**

That night, after everyone has gone to bed or gone home, Peeta and I sit on our bed comfortably together; my body relaxed against his chest, his arm around my shoulders. Being summer, by late evening it's only just beginning to get dark. The air is filled with heavy pink and orange clouds, swirling together to create a fire in the sky. I stare at it through the window for a while, taking in all of its subtle intensity.  
"You know, it's my favourite colour," Peeta, who had remained quiet for a while, says.

"Huh?" I ask, taking my focus away from the sky for a while.

"Orange. Like a sunset."

"Oh." I say, smiling at the new information. His eyes seem even more colourful than usual, making them stand out and beam in the dusky shadows.

"So…" He exhales the words so they fall into the air softly, "how are you?"

"How am I as in how's the pregnancy or how am I as in how am I?" I ask.

"Both I guess"

"Well, I'm fine; I'm enjoying the time off work and – I don't want to jinx it but – everything's finally beginning to relax. It's like there's this massive weight off my shoulders. I'm sure that'll all change in when by the reaping, but we've got a few days until that."

"We do." Peeta confirms. "And the baby?"

"The baby's fine. Like's to kick, but other than that, I can't complain."

"Yeah, at least that way we know that he or she is ok," Peeta points out.

"Which do you want?"

"What?"

"Boy or a Girl?"

"I don't know… you?"

"Well, for your sake, I want a girl," I tell him.

"For my sake?" He asks, somewhat confused.

"Yeah, I mean… I know that you will love the baby to bits unconditionally, no matter what, but I just feel like even if you won't admit it – you want a little girl"

Peeta looks at the floor. I watch as a small smile forms over his face.

"Yeah," he bites the inside of his cheek a bit, "It would be nice."

"Ok, so names?"

"Ok. What names are you thinking?"

"I have no idea. You?" I ask. Peeta bites his lip for a while and thinks.

"Uh… I like Amelia. And Ava"

"Amelia…" I repeat the word. Admittedly, it sounds nice, but nowhere near as nice as it sounds in Peeta's voice.

"I like it," I smile, "But what about boys?"

"You decide. I chose a girl's name."

"Uh, umm. Ok." I stutter before going completely silent in thoughts.

I think about every possibility I can, all of the names I've ever come across. Some of them are stupid, some are too over the top.

"I have no idea," I sigh – my eyes looking upwards to meet his. He bends his next and kisses me from above.

"It's fine," he smiles, "do you know what, let's not decide yet. Let's wait until the baby is born and go from there. One step at a time, yeah?"

"Yeah" I smile.

* * *

Peeta proceeds to get out of bed, leaving me where I am and excitedly walking over to something I hadn't noticed. It's covered in a sheet and in front of the bed, to the right a little.

"While you were out, I went into the attic and found some things."

"You have an attic?"

"Well… yes and no. We've got an old nursery from when my brothers were kids, but the ceiling caved in and then it wasn't safe as a nursery anymore. My parents just put stuff they didn't use but could still be… useful in there."

"Ok…" I mumble as I push myself up to see what's under the sheet.

Peeta pulls it away, revealing a hand crafted wooden cot, a pram and a box full of clothes and blankets. They are all reasonably dusty and the pram is slightly broken, but even so, it's beautiful. I stare at the cot for a while, it looks familiar.

"Why do I feel like I've seen that cot before?"

"I, uh, well. Your dad made it."

"What?"

"…ages ago, before you were born, he used to do the woodwork and stuff, I guess my parents bought this from him.

I knew that my dad did the odd bit of wood work; I mean, he made our bows, but I didn't know quite how good at it he was. I look at the cot; a sturdy oak structure with beautiful carvings. It's been well used, but is still in perfect condition.

"And obviously I'll need to fix this, but it shouldn't be too hard"

"Peeta…"

"Yeah"

"It's amazing, _you're amazing._"

"I know," he smirks, "I am amazing. But only because you give me reason to be."

I blush as Peeta says it, recently I've been more openly reacting to things people say and do. Godamn hormones. Peeta joins me back on the bed. He kisses my hair before stroking it soothingly from top to tip.

"We're going to be ok, you know."

"Mmm" I agree, closing my eyes as he wraps his arms around my waist.

"I know that things don't always go quite as we want them to, and that bad things happen, but I'm going to make sure that everything is going to be ok."

"I don't deserve you," I mumble without opening my eyes, "You're too good for me."

"Well same, so I guess we cancel each other out" He mutters.

After a few moments of blissful silence, I guess Peeta and I fall asleep, and once again – the sleep is calm and fulfilling. But one thought stays with me until I drift away.

The reaping is in a few days.

**:O Did you like it? If so - hit me with a review. Wow, no. I won't say that again... hmm. Also are any of you guys Whovians/Sherlockians? I'm thinking about the possibility of a Whofic or Sherlockfic or a Wholockfic or whatever. Anyway, let me know if it's a good idea. Thanks x **


	44. Chapter 44

**So the plot twist is finally here, and it's deliciously unexpected. Cliffhanger alert, just to warn you. Oh, and I hope you enjoy the complete sense of confusion that you may experience. Love you all! This chapter is dedicated to the Guest that started their review with "Please don't let prim go into the games or I will cry forever and ever." You didn't use a name or anything so this is for you - guest! Love you! **

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA  
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Effie's hand is only in the bowl for half a second, but the suspension makes it feel like a life time. I feel my heart race and my feet feel as if I'm being sucked into the ground. Peeta squeezes my hand as we stand amongst the parents and older siblings of district 12's children.

"And the tribute is... Primrose Everdeen!" Effie's voice booms through speakers and microphones all around me and I feel like I'm spinning. I run towards her, trying to grab my sister. She is carried away by peacekeepers. She's only 14 and small considering her age, there's no way she'll survive. I'm 19; if only this had happened last year, I could have volunteered for her. I can hunt, let me go. I'm pushed out of the way by peacekeepers, losing my balance and falling back onto the ground.

* * *

"PRIM" I scream, startling myself awake. Peeta instantly wraps his arms around me, rocking me back and forth.

"Shhh; it was just a dream, it's ok, you're ok" He soothes, rubbing circles on my back. I start crying and blubbering and sobbing.

"I couldn't save her. I couldn't. I wanted to but I couldn't"

"Hey Shhh, its ok. The reaping isn't until the morning. Prim's safe, she's going to be fine, ok?"

"I just can't afford to lose another person" I say, my voice catching in my throat, causing the words to be almost inaudible.

The next morning I wake up early, not that I got much sleep after my nightmare, though. Rye is also already awake, pacing the bakery. I acknowledge his whereabouts with a nod, before walking into the kitchen and making myself some tea. I see some white liquor in on the side; it's almost empty so I'm guessing that Rye's had a morning drink.

I often wondered why people that were sad or depressed drank; I'd been drunk before, and it made me feel worse than I had to start with. It just didn't make sense to me. But since Pip's death, and Rye's drinking, I can't help but think about what Peeta told me: He drinks to forget. Forgetting would be wonderful, but with the baby not far away, the Mellarks have their eyes on me like hawks. Maybe I could just put a bit of it in my tea… No. I can't. Not today; today I need to be focused.

I take my tea and sit on the stool in the corner. I'm so thirsty but can't manage more than a sip at a time. I stare at the milky brown liquid and swirl it around in the mug. I can feel Rye watching me, but he stays still and silent at the opposite end of the room. I look up at him and watch him swing his legs. He looks like all first timers: Nervous and apprehensive.

"How do you do this?" he asks, not for the first time.

"Did we not already have this conversation?" I ask him.

"I mean _this: _The waiting, it's agonising."

"I know. I guess it doesn't change."

"Right," He nods, "hence the screaming."

"Sorry about that."

"It's ok. I would do the same if I slept."

"That's normal," I sigh, "Most people don't sleep the night before the reaping. I've heard that the first year that you don't know anyone in that bowl is the first real sense of relaxing."

"Yeah, imagine."

"I won't have that though"

"You'll have a few years break though, between Prim and the baby"

"A few years of endless panic" I sigh.

Eventually Micah and Peeta make their way downstairs, and the 4 of us eat breakfast. I say eat, but me and Rye just pick at a piece of bread, Peeta nibbles at some toast and Micah won't be convinced to eat anything. Eventually, I put the bread down, knowing I won't eat it.

"What time is it?" I ask, even though I know the answer.

"9:15" Rye says deadpan. I nod and focus on my fingers as the tap on the table.

"Kat, it's ok. She'll be here soon, calm down." I look at Peeta intensely as my fingers still tap. Peeta place his hand on top of mine to stop it. I stare at him for a moment when there's a knock at the door, I look at it for a moment before sprinting to open it.

I'm disappointed to find that it's not Prim at the door, but Olivia and Adrian. I sigh and let them in and they politely ignore my rude attitude. Sit back at the table and continue to tap at the table.

"So…" Adrian tries to start a conversation. It doesn't work. We all sit in uncomfortable silence as time ticks by three times slower than usual.

When Prim finally arrives, I'm surprised to see that my mother is with her. When I think about it more, I realise that it would make less sense if my mother didn't come with Prim. She's her youngest daughter; and her only one as far as she's concerned. I give my mum a quick glance before wrapping my arms around Prim. We hug silently before I pull away and look her in the eyes.

"You're going to be ok," I state. It hurts me to speak, like every word I say is going to suffocate me.

"I know," She nods, although her eyes mislead her.

I move back to sit with Peeta while Prim talks to Micah. I don't know what they're talking about, but judging by the way that Prim's cheeks are glowing slightly – I think Micah has complimented her. She looks beautiful, it has to be said. Her skin looks fresh and pink, and she's put her hair in two braids. She's wearing a blue and white shirt dress. I recognise it as one of mine from when I was a child. My mother waits patiently by the door, her back lent against the wall.

All of a sudden, I find myself walking towards my mother, and standing next to her.

"Do you want a drink?" I ask without looking at her.

"No thank you," She says coldly. We stay where we are for a while, just leaning against a wall and watching life tick slowly by around us. I realise that I'm actually very similar to my mother, which is what makes me push her away. When she was going through hell, she wanted to be alone, but she couldn't. _She shouldn't have_, for our sake. I understand now what she was going through, but I still refuse to forgive her. Just like my father, I'm stubborn.

"You look well" I say, distracting myself from my thoughts.

"Thank you," she says politely, "You do too."

"Thanks" I smile.

"How far a long are you?"

"About 8 months," I sigh, "I've got about a month and a bit to go"

"Oh," she says, the conversation dies again.

* * *

A while later, all of us: Prim, Micah, Madge, Olivia, Adrian, Rye, My mother, Peeta and I begin to make our way to the justice building. I give Prim the mockingjay bracelet and kiss her on the forehead before letting her go. Her and Micah hold hands as they make their way towards the registration desks, but Rye stops them.

"Micah, wait!" he calls. Micah turns around, slightly confused but walks towards him anyway. Rye digs in his pockets and pulls out a butterfly hair grip. He hands it to Micah, placing it in his outstretched palms.

"I, uh found it this morning… I thought you might want it, to remind you of your sister or for luck or something" He says, his voice shaking. Micah stays quiet but nods at him. Rye then shocks us all by hugging him. Micah hugs him back but neither of them says anything. He won't admit it, but I see Rye blink back a tear before pulling away.

"You'll be fine kiddo."

Once Micah and Prim are registered as there, they line up in barricaded boxes of boys and girls while the rest of us wait with all the other distraught parents and older siblings. All of us with one thing on our mind: It's out of our hands now; all we can do is sit back and watch.

I don't hear the majority of Effie's rambling drone, but when Peeta squeezes my hand, I know I have to listen. I watch as Effie gracefully pulls out a perfect white card and undoes the tape. My heart stops for what feels like a lifetime before she reads the name.

"Angelica Windshaw," Effie says. I have no idea who Angelica Windshaw is, but I hear somebody behind us let out a desperate cry. I rest my head on Peeta's shoulder. He squeezes my hand a bit before relaxing again.

Up next is the boys, a look at Rye, who keeps nervous but steady focus on Effie as she un-tapes the next card.

"Emorry Edison" Another cry is heard in the distance, and all of a sudden Rye's hand goes to his face. He doesn't do it because he's scared or because he knows the small boy who is making his way to the steps, but because he knows that Micah is safe; he knows that the last trace of Pip is safe.

Eventually, when everyone begins to leave, I start to hear gun shots. I look around desperately to see where it's coming from but I can't. Nobody else is reacting and then I start to see black circles. My breathing becomes really heavy but I struggle to actually inhale any air. I look around again, hearing another load of gun shots and that's when I see him. Gale is standing amongst the people leaving. He is. And he's staring right at me. I clench onto Peeta's hand and try and say something to him, but amidst the chaos I can't look at him, I can't bring my eyes away.

I try and look at Peeta, but that's when everything goes black.

**Mwahahah, hope you liked it. Don't worry, all will be explained eventually. Please review any theories you have about what is happening - it will be nice to read them! Thanks x**


	45. Chapter 45

**And thus everything is explained... I really liked the feedback on the last chapter, it was lovely guys :3 I would like to clear some things up: Katniss is 19, Peeta is 19, Prim is 14 (Yes, I changed the age difference a teeney bit, but shhhh...) Katniss and Peeta never went into the games so they don't live in victors village/know haymitch personally/whatever. I hope that makes it a bit more understandable. This one is dedicated to Red Dawn- Jed is Hot. Thank you for the review, you're awesome:)**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x**

I wake up in a state of panic. My senses are all pretty poor; my vision is blurred, all sounds are echo-y, my whole body feels numb and my mouth is dry and cottony. I have no idea where I am or how I got here. My clothes are stuck to me with cold sweat, meaning I must have been asleep for a while. When everything starts to return to normal and my senses begin to focus, I realise I'm back home, at the bakery, in bed. The room is empty, but I make no attempt to get up or find anyone, mainly because now that my feelings are replenished – I realise I have a massive headache. I try and run through everything I know in my head: My name is Katniss Everdeen, I am 19 years old. I live with Peeta. I love him. I am pregnant with his baby. I was at the reaping. Prim didn't get reaped. Neither did Micah. My mother dislikes me. I dislike her. I heard a gunshot. I saw Gale. Gale is dead, or so I thought. Why was he- My thoughts are interrupted by the click of the door as Peeta walks in.

"You're awake!" He beams, keeping his voice soft as he does.

"Mmm," I hum.

"We really should stop meeting like this," He smirks quietly.

"What?"

"You in bed with an injury whilst I play prince charming," he jokes.

"You didn't even wake me with a kiss" I sigh.

"Oh, right yeah," He places a soft kiss on my forehead, "You've still got your sarcasm, you're fine"

"What happened?"

"That's exactly what I was going to ask you. All I know is that one minute, you were looking this way and that – at god knows what – and the next, you were falling into my arms. Adrian and Rye both recon you were hallucinating, you know: Because of the stress. Said they've both seen it happen to lots of people."

"Oh."

"You seemed pretty put of it. Do you remember anything?" he asks, holding my hand as he sits on the edge of the bed. I nod, because the truth is I remember everything all too vividly.

"Gunshots," I say, "I heard gunshots. And I was trying to see where they were coming from, but I turned around and I couldn't see any."

"Was that it?" Peeta asks. I shake my head slowly, wandering if I should tell him.

"There was something else."

"What?"

"I saw Gale."

"Right…" Peeta says, cautiously. I can tell he doesn't believe me.

"I did!" I say, swinging my body up so I can look at him at eye level. He places a hand on each of my shoulders and eases me back down so that I'm lying again.

"Calm down, it's alright," he soothes as he strokes my hair, "You didn't see him. Gale's gone, and he's not coming back… its ok. It's just like your dreams, the ones you think are real; your brain is just playing tricks on you, I promise."

"No, Peeta, I really saw him!"

"No, Katniss. You didn't," he says sternly as he stands up. He must see my surprise at his voice because he immediately sits down again and take my hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I just… why don't you get some sleep and I'll come back and check on you in few hours?"

I nod at him and watch as he leaves, knowing that sleeping is very unlikely but I didn't want to continue that conversation. I love Peeta, but if he doesn't believe me then nobody will. I really did see Gale, but like Peeta said, I do genuinely believe that everything is real in my dreams, until I wake up. Maybe I did just imagine it.

* * *

I must have fallen asleep, because when I open my eyes again, I notice that a few hours have passed. I'm drawn to a strange tapping noise. I don't know where it's coming from, so I get up and decide to look. It stops for a minute before starting again, happening in clusters of taps. I look over to the window and watch as a handful of stones hit the glass. I run over to it, pulling up its rickety frame and hooking it up.

I can't believe what I see. I'm not sure if I should believe it, but I do all the same. Standing outside the window, with fistfuls of stones, is Gale. I want to shut the window as quickly as I opened it, or jump out of it at least, but paralysed by fear; I can't.

"Katniss!" he shouts, his voice is as crooked as his posture. I shut my eyes,

"He's not real. It's not real, you're not real" I end up shouting."

"Hey, quit shouting!" He hisses "someone will hear you! I am real, I promise"

"What are you doing? I thought you were dead!" I lower my voice, but keep it loud enough for him to hear.

"How would you know, you weren't there"

"What are you doing here gale?" I change the subject; I don't want to feel guilty anymore.

"I needed to say I'm sorry. I was a jerk before and I hate myself for it. Thom told me what happened – I'm sorry about your friend, I'm sorry that it was my fault."

"I appreciate the apology but-" I stop when I feel Peeta's arm on mine.

"Kat, what's going on…" He asks before looking out the window, "What are you doing here?"

"Apologising" Gale shouts at him.

"Well I think you should probably leave" Peeta's voice is cold and almost unrecognisable.

"I will, but answer me this:" Gale says, his voice serious and honest, "Have you put a ring on her finger yet? Because if not, you better hurry up and do it; I don't like you Mellark, never have, but Kat really does – so don't keep her waiting."

And that was it, Gale was gone. He just ran away, I don't know where to and when I'll see him again (that is if I do see him again). I walk over to the bed and sit uncomfortably on the end of it. Peeta paces the room for a while.

"He didn't hurt you did he?"

"I was up here and he was down there Peeta, how could he have hurt me?"

"He could have thrown something at you"

"Well, he didn't."

"Ok, ok," he says, seeming a bit touchy, "I was just asking"

"Peeta, calm down, please," I say timidly. He stops for a moment and looks at me, examining my face with his eyes.

"Why should I be?" He starts, getting angrier with every step he takes "What right does he have…?"

"Peeta please!" I shriek desperately as I leap to my feet and grab both of his wrists. He grabs mine too and looks me straight in the eyes. I watch as his pupils grow and dilate before returning back to their normal size and darkening into a sad blue.

"I'm sorry Katniss, I just…"

"You just what? 'You just' seem to be doing everything today. Last time you were like this, you broke your brother's cheek bone. What happens if 'you just' when we have a tiny baby around?"

"I'm sorry Kat…"

"It's fine" I tell him with a sigh, "How did this happen?"

"What?"

"We switched. You were looking after me a few hours ago"

"Right" He lets out a small deflated laugh and takes a seat on the bed. I sit with him. "Are you ok?"

"I haven't been ok for a long time – but I'm optimistic."

"Optimistic?"

"I've got you," I smile as I rest my head on his shoulder, "that's reason enough to be hopeful"

That night, after I've eaten, I go to bed early. I tell Peeta that I'm just tired and need some rest, so he lets me go suspicion free. I run a bath to kill some time, and pace the bathroom as the water runs. My head is still banging from the headache – I've come to the conclusion that I might have a minor concussion – and I ring my hands over and over again uncontrollably. I can't get his words out of my head; every apology he uttered is permanently inked into my skull. I would love to say it's because I believed him, but I know that it's because I'm scared. I'm scared that it's just a cover. That he's planning something; something big.

**Well there you have it, the drama is somewhat explained... Love you all and I will dedicate the next Chapter to the someone who tells me where they think I'm going with this ;) x**


	46. Chapter 46

**I have some good news and some bad news... The good news is that this chapter is fun and uploaded early and will end with a [minor] cliffhanger -so that will be nice. The bad news is, Chapter 48 (Friday's Chapter) Will be the last one for about 2 weeks. This is because I have my mock exams for the next two weeks and I really need to focus on them. I promise that when they are over I will get back to daily updates (yay). I apologise for any inconvenience/frustration this may cause... This chapter is dedicated to EmmaHutcherson, because not only did she send me a lovely review - she is also a Whovian! :D**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x**

The next few days go by under agonising surveillance. Since the hallucinations, Peeta and his brothers have been constantly keeping an eye on me. I can't go anywhere or do anything without somebody making sure it's safe. Neither of us has talked about what Gale said outside the window that night, and I'm starting to question whether or not it even happened.

Fortunately a few days after the reaping, whilst Prim and Micah are out and Olivia and Adrian are at home (they moved into Pip's old house) there is a phone call. The call is from a "Mrs. Grimshaw" who needs an urgent delivery. It's a two man job and so – after a lot of convincing and begging on my part – Peeta agrees to help Rye make the delivery, thus leaving me alone for a good few hours.

I spend the first few minutes of my time alone enjoying the silence and lack of questions. I swear, if somebody asks me if I'm ok once more, I will no longer be responsible for my actions. I am quickly distracted from my thoughts by the overwhelming hunger that suddenly takes over. I look down at my stomach and run my hands over it.  
"Will you ever stop being hungry?" I ask it before getting up with a sigh.

I walk into the kitchen and scan around it, trying to decide what I want to eat. Annoyingly, I have gone off bread recently. Gone off _bread, in a bakery… _Well I guess I will have to put up with the little things, right – I try and convince myself. After ignoring all of the bread or bread-based food that we have available, I pick up a box of cranberries. I got them at the hob the other day and I never really fancied them, until now. I place one of the tiny red berries on the tip of my tongue before shutting my mouth and chewing slowly. The fruit explodes with a sort-of-sweet-sort-of-sour juice that I decide I like, so I take the box with me and make my way back to the bakery.

Seeing as I am the only person in the bakery at the moment, it's closed until Peeta and Rye come back. So when I hear a tapping at the door, I'm a bit confused. Did Peeta forget to swap the sign? Upon standing, I see that he didn't forget; the sign says "Hi, we're open" on the side facing me. As I approach the door however, I notice the problem. Standing behind the slightly broken glass pane is Gale. When he sees me, he starts knocking on the door more rapidly, begging me with his eyes to let me in; he begins to speak, and thanks to a crack in the door, I can hear his muffled voice.

"Kat, please. You need to let me in, please" He sounds desperate, he looks desperate and he's never been a good actor.

I take the handle of the door in the palm of my hand and I'm about to turn it when a thought pops into my head: I have so much to lose. If I weren't pregnant, I would open that door and put on a brave face, because if he were to hurt me, that would be all. However now, I have another person to protect. I look back at his eyes and decide that I should let him in. I need to face my demons or whatever.

He runs in so fast that he practically falls through the door.

"Nobody's here are they?" his words are a combination of stutters and slurs.

"No, it's just me," I say calmly. I watch as Gales relaxes at my words, "why are you here?" I ask.

"I have nowhere else to go," he looks me in the eyes; I've never seen him so shaken up. I puff my cheeks out and sigh at him.

"Sit down," I say as I walk away to get him a glass of water. I return a few seconds later and place the cup on the table in front of it.

"Thanks," he says, still shaking.

I don't know why I'm so calm. I don't trust him; God knows I could never do that. I'm very confident that he is still capable of killing me at any minute, so why am I stood opposite him, watching him sip at water as he sits on a stool not two metres away from me? I don't say anything, the fear has taken over my body again, and I'm slowly becoming his puppet again. The only difference is, this time the puppet master is unaware that he holds the strings.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here," Gale interrupts my thoughts.

"No, you shouldn't have," I agree.

"I'm sorry," he repeats himself, "I had nowhere else to go"

"What do you mean?"

"My house was sold, my family don't want to know me, and Thom has practically gone mad after he killed…"

"Pip," I inform him, "Her name was Pip."

"Pip. I'm sorry Kat, I didn't know about that, I really didn't."

"I don't care, it was still your fault that it happened."

"I know, I-"  
"She has a brother!" I interrupt him "Prim's age. And he has no family left anymore Gale. Imagine how you would feel if that were Rory!" I shout.

He doesn't respond. I look at him, finding myself even more disgusted at his silence then I've ever been in my life. I never knew that a lack of words could make me so angry.

"Look, I realise I have a problem…"

"Oh, really?" I nod sarcastically, "I didn't notice"

"Hey, don't be like that. I know I was a jerk, and look what it's done to me Kat. I have no home, no family, no friends, I've lost everything and now I'm on the run from the peacekeepers because you took me to court."

"How are you here?" I ask, changing the subject "I thought the hangings are live"

"They make out that they are, but they do it in a room and project it to the districts."

"So how come nobody saw you run?"

"Blamed it on technical difficulties."

"Oh."

"Not that you would know… you weren't there."

"Oh for god's sake!" I cry. "You think I wanted to go? Who do you think I am Gale? Why would I want to go and watch you die? I loved you once."

"Once…" he says, his face and voice grave.

"Yeah, well opinions change"

"Right," He says, cutting the conversation off.

I find myself on the brink of tears moments after the silence begins. Gale must notice too, because he tries takes my wrist and pull me towards him, but I flinch at his touch; his skin stinging mine. He steps back and holds both hands up as if to say "Alright, I get it."

"Ok, so the… contact is a bad idea" He rephrases his words. I shrug my shoulders close to me, keeping my body language closed and away from him.

"Gale, I'm really glad that you're ok, _that you're alive_, but you need to leave"

"Funny," He sighs, "You'd be the only one"

"What?"

"Katniss… I want to die"

**:O what is going on I hear you ask, well in all honestly I have no clue and I make this up as I go along, hence the random plot twists and whatnot. Ok, I will dedicate the next chapter to the person who answers this question the most accurately: WHAT DO YOU THINK I LOOK LIKE? This was just a question that "Pip" and I are curious to hear the answers to, so please leave me a review telling me what you think my face is like, how tall you think I am, blah blah blah. Anything. Love you x**


	47. Chapter 47

**Ok, guys... Tomorrow will be the last one before my two week break - :O Will you miss me? Don't worry, I will make sure that there is a wonderfully brilliant cliffhanger for tomorrow so you can go insane for 2 weeks ;) This one is a bit short - sorry - but I hope you like it. This chapter is dedicated to MellarkableSinger (I like your name by the way - I see what you did there) And I would like to point out that CherriBunni16 was pretty close with the review of what she thought I look like (I'm assuming you're a she) The only difference being that I am quite curvy, but everything else was very close/right!**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review!  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x**

I don't believe him. I don't want to and I physically can't believe him. I have no idea what to say either; what _do_ you say to somebody in this situation? I stare at him, felling a little bit sick as I watch him. I man that I have gone through everything with: I've become friends with him, fallen in love with him, struggled through life with him, been beaten by him, been rejected by him, been abused by him, fallen out of love with him, struggled through life without him; yet, no matter what the situation, he's always seemed so strong. Now, he's not even weak, he's virtually nothing.

I take in every aspect of his face; he looks so different. His eyes are dark and sunken and losing a battle against the harsh glow of life. His hair is matted and tired and dirty. He is covered in burns and cuts from head to toe; it looks as if there is more scarring than actual flesh on his arms now. He is skinnier than I remember him. And frail, his bones ache with a sadness that can only be described upon first glance.

"You need help Gale," I say; my face and voice remain still and emotionless.

"No. I don't. I'm unfixable Kat. I want to die," his voice is far too emotive. It catches in his throat, causing the words to warp around his tongue.

"Stop saying that"

"Why? It's the truth…" he sits back down on the stool, elbows on the table, head in his hands.

"Gale I-" I stop when I hear the door click.

Peeta, as predicted, was not happy. He didn't do anything though; he kept his cool when he saw that I was alright. He must have picked up that something was wrong though, because when Rye looked as if he was about to do more damage than ever before, Peeta stopped him.

"Kat…?" He asks curiously as he lifts an eyebrow.

"Not now," I say quietly before turning back to Gale. He looks surprised that I haven't gone running to Peeta, as if he thinks I would leave him at a time like this.

"No, Kat, go on; tell him" Gale says. I ignore him and carry on our conversation.

"You need to see somebody, anybody. I can appeal, I can get the charges off you, hell – I will pay for capitol treatment, but you need to see someone about this!" I hiss.

"No." He screeches, pulling out a small white pistol from his inner jacket pocket and holding it to his head, right between his eyes.

He focusses all of his energy on the gun, staring at it until he goes crossed-eyed. I want to look away, to go to him, to leave, to be in his place; I really don't know what I want or what I should do. I stay, frozen in my position, to afraid that any movement will end up with a trigger being pulled. I am so absorbed by fear that I don't even notice that Peeta has moved until he's carefully removing the gun from Gale's hands.

Gale doesn't say anything; he just begins to sob as he watches Peeta place the gun on a shelf on the other side of the room. Peeta then looks at me and gives me a face that I assume means 'go and stand with Rye,' so I go and stand with Rye.

I have to say, I'm a little surprised to see what happens next. Peeta walks over to Gale and kneels in front of him.

"Stop crying," he says, his body language and tone are lifeless. Gale looks a little shocked too, but stops crying all the same.

"Now, look at me," Peeta starts, "Why do you want to kill yourself?"

"Because I do" Gale sighs, uninterested.

"Right. Is it because you're scared, alone, life isn't going how you planned? Because guess what? Everyone in this pathetic world is scared and alone, and I am yet to meet one person whose life has gone exactly to plan."

Peeta's words worry me. He's never been this open about stuff and always eventually sees the glass as half full.

"You need to understand I've been through a lot, Katniss has been through a lot, Rye has been through a lot, but look at us; we're all still here. We've all wanted to give up at least once, but we can't. _You can't. _Do you know why? Because somebody, somewhere needs you to keep on living. You hate the capitol, right? Well killing yourself is just the same as turning yourself in, so don't be that guy, don't be the guy that gives up and gives in.  
I don't like you, Gale. I think I've made myself very clear about that, but Kat does. I'm going to be honest, it breaks my heart when I see her talk about you or look at you, because you were her first love, and there will always be a little part of you in her memory that was perfect. So what if you've ruined your life – you've only ruined your life so far, you're just a few years older than me so go and live your life. Find that somebody somewhere that needs you to keep living and keep living with them."

Peeta stops as Gale looks up at him, he looks angry – but only with defeat. Besides, with his new frail figure, Gale probably couldn't do any damage to a piece of paper, never mind Peeta. He stands up, along with Peeta and they mirror each other. Gale still towering over Peeta, yet looking as weak as he does.

"Gale, I want you to get out, get help and then live somewhere else. And don't kill yourself, you'd regret it." He says as he slowly walks over to the shelf at the end of the room. He picks up the gun and hands it to Gale, who proceeds to place it in his jacket pocket.

As Gale leaves, I can't help but stare at Peeta. He is a completely different person to the one I used to go to school with. One thought rattles around my mind, tumbling and twisting and warping through my other thoughts and ideas. Is it my fault? Did I break Peeta Mellark?

**Ok guys, so the tomorrow's chapter will be the last one for a while, so sorry :( I promise that once my mocks are done I will get striaght back to writing. Love you! (Don't forget to leave a review... It can be about anything!)**


	48. Chapter 48

**So, here it is guys, my final chapter before my two week break... I am very happy with this chapter, and I hope you like it. There is a cliffhanger, and a big one, so have fun waiting for 2 weeks to find out what happens. Hey, I have my mocks - I deserve to torture you guys a little bit too! This one is dedicated to amberangel88, for spamming me with lovely reviews - thank you! Also, a big thanks to the people that voted for me in the REBEL awards, I have been selected as a finalist! **

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x**

The next morning, I wake up angry. Today is going to be a bad day, I can feel it. I don't know what it is; perhaps it's the fact that I've woken up four times already, and now – the fifth time – it's only just an acceptable time to get up. Peeta is not in bed, and now that I think about it, I didn't see him the last few times. I sigh as I pull my aching body upwards and swing me legs over the side of the bed. I look at my prominent belly full of boredom. I don't want to rush things, but I still have to wait 4-and-a-half weeks before my due date, and something tells me it will be late.

I look out of the window, not having the energy to get up. The skies are grey and defeated, with heavy rolling clouds tumbling through the air. I sit and think about everything that happened yesterday. I can't get my head around what Peeta said to gale… _**"We've all wanted to give up at least once, but we can't."**_ All. Why did he say all? I know he knows about me, and I guess Rye's been pretty torn up for the majority of his life; Pip came and went and he was here with nobody… I can understand that. But why Peeta? Why and when has he wanted to end it, when was this time that it all became too much? Was it before or after I came back into his life?

I think about these things intensely for a long time and only stop when Peeta walks back and stops in the doorway. He looks concerned, and it's only then that I notice that I am violently digging my fingers into a pillow in frustration. He opens his mouth to say something but I speak up first.

"Was it true?" I ask, unable to control the speed of my words.

"Huh?" Peeta doesn't move from the doorway.

"What you said to Gale. Was it true?"

"Oh, you're still thinking about that…"

"Yes, Peeta, I am. I am still thinking about that because finding out that your boyfriend and future father of your child has wanted to…" I can't say the words, I look away from him and soften my voice, "…It's not something that you just forget."

"Yes. It was true. But, I really don't want to talk about that at the moment."

"No. We have to; you need to tell me."

"Oh, can you just drop it, Kat. I don't have the energy to fight today."

"I'm not asking for a fight!" I protest

"But you are, you always are!"

I look at him, upset by what he says. I want to fight against him, to argue, but he is right to an extent, and I'm not in the mood to keep up a battle either. He stays put, leaning on the door frame, the early morning light causing him to appear slightly silhouetted. He looks hurt, not physically – emotionally, but he also looks stronger than I've ever seen him. I wander if I should apologise, but my body and mind goes against that thought.

"What, exactly, is that supposed to mean?" my tone is harsh and cold. Peeta looks a bit shocked and bored of my choice of words.

"What?" he asks.

"I don't know, you tell me."

"Oh for god's sake Kat, why are you always like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like this. You change your mind and mood in a matter of seconds, you go from happy-go-lucky to miserable and tired. And you zone out; you can't stay focused."

"Well maybe I would stay focussed if I had a reason to. I don't know if you realised Peeta, but sometimes I can't help but not pay attention, because the truth is a violent and malicious thing."

"Yes, but it's something we all have to deal with!"

* * *

I stop when I notice that Peeta is physically shaking with anger. Not only that, but Micah is now standing behind him shyly. He looks tired, and a little annoyed. To be fair, we probably woke him, so he has reason to be.

"Micah, are you ok?" I ask, softening my voice. He nods shyly before walking closer to us, opening his body language a bit.

"Are you two fighting?" I look at him before looking at Peeta, suddenly feeling – for the first time in my life – like a parent. I think about lying to him but shut my mouth before I do.

"Yes…" I sigh "don't worry about it though, everything's fine – right, Peeta?" I hiss the last words, shooting Peeta a look. He sticks his jaw out to the side, leaving it crooked before exhaling.

"Yes. Fine"

Micah doesn't look convinced. He sits down next to me and swings his legs a bit. He looks as if he's considering whether or not to say something. He sits on his words for a while before finally speaking up.

"You know, I'm not stupid," he looks at me.

"Huh?"

"Pip used to argue with her boyfriends all the time. I know a fight when I see one. You two really shouldn't… I mean, I know it's not my business but…" He sighs after stumbling through various thoughts and words. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that, you two can fight if you want, but please wait until I go out to find Rye."

"Find Rye?"

"He probably got lost and fell asleep on the way home again, I'll get him"

For a few minutes as he leaves the room and the building, Peeta and I remain astonished. Peeta's jaw sticks out again as he looks up at the ceiling. He looks somewhat frustrated.

"How did we start fighting?" he asks; his voice now emotionless.

"I don't know" I admit, holding my head in my hands.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about… well."

"I know, I shouldn't have asked. What you said, you said to Gale. I shouldn't have asked about it."

"Don't worry about it," he sighs as he puffs his cheeks out, "You didn't know"

"I'm sorry I ruined everything, Peeta."

"Ruined everything?"

"Yeah, I came into your life and managed to bring one-hundred-and-one problems with me. Sorry, I didn't mean to-" I am stopped by a crippling pain across my stomach.

The pain itself feels as if a belt is being buckled too tight across my belly, squishing my organs. It's so startling and unexpected that even when it stops, it renders me speechless. The pain is shortly followed by another one, this time the belt feels tighter. They continue to stop and start as Peeta rushes to my side and asks me what's wrong. I try and explain to him, but when I finally find my breath, I notice that my legs are wet, and it becomes very evident what is wrong.

Just over a month before I'm supposed to, I am going to have a baby.

**Sorry not sorry! Aww, I'm gonna miss you guys... I will think of you whilst I fail my French exams and ace my drama ones! (hopefully) Love you all and see you in two weeks! Madcapscribbler x**


	49. Chapter 49

**I'M BACK! Did you miss me? Aha, joking of course you did... right? Yes, my mocks are all over and done with so that means that I get to write a sad chapter about our favourite characters, because that seems like a fun thing that normal people would do... Ok, so here is chapter 49! I KNOW, THE NEXT CHAPTER IS CHAPTER 50! 50 chapters is a lot of writing... so make sure you review for a chance to have the 50th dedicated to you! **

**This chapter is dedicated to katniss525 (guest) for the reviews, sorry I couldn't update sooner! ( I would also like to thank the guest that left the review "What the Finnicking Hawthorne that cliff hanger was huuuuuuuge" just for the A+ Character name use :D )**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review!  
DFTBA  
Madcapscribbler x **

Screaming. That's what normal people do in situations like this right? When in a state of pure panic, most people scream or cry or make some kind of noise, but I don't. I look at Peeta and feel myself physically shake. I look around the room and feel the scratchy fabric of the hospital bed below me. I am tired and drained of energy, but I won't and can't go to sleep, even if the doctors think it's best.

Peeta places his hand on mine; he's sitting to my left on a rickety stool by the bed. I have to hand it to them: The doctors of district 12 do a lot with such poor conditions. I want to cry, but I feel like all of my emotions have been pulled out of my body, along with my voice. I continue to shake, the movement getting so uncontrollable that Peeta has to pull me into a hug, forcing me to stop. He's shaking a little too, his breath wobbling as he exhales.

"She's going to be ok, she's ok. You're ok, you're fine" he keeps mumbling into my collarbone. I don't mention it, but I feel a tear fall onto my skin; Peeta is crying. My body still aches from hours ago. I didn't scream or shout or anything, I just concentrated on everything that might go wrong.

The worst bit is: I wasn't even allowed to hold her. I wasn't allowed to take in every aspect of her face. I wasn't allowed to comfort her, to protect her. I wasn't allowed that moment; she was taken away from me as soon as she was born. Peeta told me not to worry, that she was fine, but the doctors told me everything. They didn't want to but I was restless and stubborn and that's how I got answers.

She has weak lungs, so she can't breathe easily. I asked them if she'll be ok. Nobody answered my question, but they did say "We'll do the best we can do"

After what seems like hours of silence, Peeta finally says something.

"I love you. I'm sorry" He rushes his words and his voice cracks and I just know that he's trying desperately not to dry.

"Why?" I whisper, too weak to speak properly and too sad to speak out loud. I turn my head to face him slightly; he looks broken and tired and as weak as I feel.

"I…" He slams his mouth shut as if he doesn't want to speak before opening it again gingerly. "I could live with myself if I killed my brother. If I had killed him when he kissed you. I could have done it and lived with myself. But if I've killed our little girl, then…" he puts his hand up mouth; his fingernails digging into his jawbone. "…Then what's the point. Who am I?"

"You didn't kill her, Peeta, why would you think that?"

"Do you not find it weird that I was shouting at you and then all this happened? And if she was born next month, she would be fine…"

"Peeta, it's not your fault, look at me." I take one of his hands in mine. "She's going to be… everything is going to be ok, ok?"

I watch as a few tears roll off of Peeta's cheeks. He wipes them away with the back of his hand. I want to tell him to stop, to just stop crying but I can't. He's been there behind me, to catch me if I fall, for so long I don't remember a time before then, but now it's my turn to walk behind him; now it's my turn to be there for him and I don't know what to do. What can I do? I'm not allowed to get up and out of bed – not that I'd have the energy, but still – I want to get up and run, run away into the darkest part of the woods and scream. My demons have left me for so long that I no longer know how to handle their return. I feel as if I'm being sucked into the void; I'm shouting but no one can hear me. I just want her to be safe. I must start shaking or something, because Peeta comes into the room with two doctors. I was too deep in thought to notice his absence. One of the doctors holds me down while the other places an uncomfortable mask over my face. Suddenly, warm, heavy air is forced into my lungs and everything goes blurry. I can only just make out the distress on Peeta's face before everything fades.

* * *

When I wake up, I have to blink my eyes before they focus. I turn to my right, to look at who I think is Peeta; which is why I get a bit of a shock when I find Finnick sitting on the rickety old stool. My confusion must appear obvious because he gives me a little smirk.

"You don't look so good, Everdeen." He jokes.

"…uh, Finn?"

"That's my name"

"What, erm, where… what's going on?"

"You mean why am I here? Or where is Peeta?"

"The second one. Um, no both"

"Peeta called just as I was helping Micah escort a very hung over Rye into the bakery. I picked up the phone and he told me everything so I sorted everything, informed Olivia and Adrian, they're now looking after Rye and Micah. Then I legged it here as quickly as possible."

Finnick speaks so cheerfully, it makes me feel worse. I don't tell him this though, because there is something hopeful in his eye, and who am I to tear the seams of his happiness. When I don't respond, he starts looking around the room. There is something about him, some kind of twisted innocence that I can't explain. I wonder what it's like to know both good and bad. He admits that the Capitol isn't 'his kind of place' but surely it's better than the districts. He seems happy enough to spend time with us poor sods though, left to rot before the government and the rich.

"So where is Peeta?"

"He's with _her_."

"What?!" I ask so fast that I'm out of breath by the end of the word.

"You heard me."

"I want to see her, where is she" I say hurriedly practically jumping out of bed.

"Woah, woah… calm down Kitty Kat." Finnick says as he places two hands on my shoulders and gently pushes me back down. "You're not allowed up yet. The doctors still have to do a few tests before you can see her."

I'm too tired to argue, so I fold my arms in protest and sigh. The room is quickly filled with slightly uncomfortable silence and Finnick returns to looking around the room. He looks so intensely at everything, which is odd considering the room is so small and empty; there really isn't much to look at.

"Did I ever tell you about the Laurel trees?" he asks without looking at me.

"What?"

"The Laurel trees." He repeats, turning his head to look at me. "There are these trees in 11, Laurel trees, did I ever mention them"

"No, but why would y-"

"They're these really weirdly beautiful trees, with pale green leaves and thin trunks and they sort of grow in sphere shapes. They are just these little trees that start out so tiny and weak looking but they grow up to be just as beautiful and strong as all the other trees; stronger, even. They just stay alive no matter what"

I smile a little because Finnick knows exactly where he's going with this.

"Finn…" I smile at him a little, "I like the name Laurel too."

**So guys, you remember how this works, leave me a review (perhaps a question about the name or something?) and I will chose the one that made me smile/think/had the most impact on me! Love you guys, I'm glad to be back! x**


	50. Chapter 50

**Hey, so here it is, the 50th Chapter. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I DIDN'T REALLY THING THAT THIS WOULD HAPPEN SO YAY! I really didn't think that this would come so far guys, it literally started as a little idea that I really didn't think would go anywhere. I owe everything to you, all of you beautiful, wonderful intelligent friends of mine; who have stuck with me until this point - and hopefully to the end - I couldn't have done it without you! I would like to say thank you to Pinkkitten1 for your review, but this chapter is dedicated to all of you (Apart from Khaya because we're at war), because you're all so wonderful. **

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA and Thank You  
MadcapScribbler **

The next morning, I'm woken up early by various doctors who need to take my blood and run various psychological tests. Why they have to do it before the sun is up, I have no idea. Eventually, they leave and I quickly notice why they were so quiet; Peeta and Finnick are both asleep on chairs at opposite ends of the room. Not that it's very big or anything, but they are both tucked neatly into opposite corners in the end of the room lucky enough to be shadowed by darkness. It's odd that they gave me my own room. I've never really been here much, like I told Peeta – my mum would sort us out if we needed to see a doctor – but on the rare occasion that I did come all the way to the hospital as a child, I never even saw any private rooms.

The hospital was a pretty grim place, and I never particularly liked it as a child. We would have to walk for ages to get here and then my father would have to fill out a million forms with names and addresses and citizen numbers and allsorts. Then, after the hours of walking and paperwork, we would then have to wait in cramped conditions before your number was called. You would walk into a room with the doctor and then realise that there were three or four other doctors with three or four other patients in the same tiny room.

I may say it was cramped, but that's not because there were loads of people there. It was mainly because the hospital was understaffed and small, and therefore if there were, say 40 people there, it would already be crowded.

I look down at my now very small stomach. It's not supposed to be so small; it should still be big and swollen for the next few weeks. I want to hold her, I want to look at her eyes and nose and mouth and ears and decide how much she looks like Peeta. I want to take her home and show her to Prim and Madge and Adrian and Olivia and Rye and everyone. I want to put her in the cot that my father made and Peeta fixed. I want to wrap her up in blankets and keep her warm and I want to protect her from every bad thing and person that there is. But I can't. I wish I could breathe for her. I would if I could, believe me. I'm pretty sure Peeta would give up his lungs for her if he could; after all he did admit that he'd kill his own brother if it meant she could live. I don't want to believe that he would, but I think I do.

He's still not comfortable with Rye being around, not really. They don't tend to talk much at all anymore, not unless they need to. And even then, they exchange words on the simplest and bluntest terms. I can't help but be responsible, I shouldn't have kissed him, and I wish I hadn't.

I look up when I hear noises coming from the other end of the room. Finnick is beginning to wake up. I watch as he rubs his eyes and blinks a bit before looking up at me and beaming. He looks so happy still, smiling up at me from the darkness. I want to ask him if ignorance is bliss, but I don't think it is _ignorance _in Finn's case. He is optimistic and innocent in a way that I can't wrap my head around. Innocence in the eyes of knowledge; an uncommon trait that only Finnick possesses. I smile back at him and push myself up a bit more so that I'm sitting on the bed; he gets the idea and sits on the other end of it, facing me. He crosses his legs and his knees sit like knotted rope on the end of his legs.

"Morning," he beams.

"Is it?" I ask, looking to see the sun just risen enough to be fully visible, a full orange circle beaming down on the day.

"You alright?"

"No," I sigh; there is no point in lying to Finnick.

"She's going to be ok, you know that right?"

"I want to know that, but there's no possible way of knowing that's the truth."

"Hey, she's the daughter of Katniss Everdeen – survivor – she's going to be just fine"

"I don't want her to go through what I've survived though, Finn. There's a big difference between living and surviving. Surviving is just about staying alive; making sure you're not dead. Living is enjoying your time while you survive."

"Oh, I beg to differ. I mean, sure, staying alive is so boring. It's just… staying. Flat-lining. A constant. But you've got it wrong. Surviving isn't about staying alive. Surviving is about _being alive. _And Katniss, I've never met anyone more alive than you!"

"I…" I snap my mouth shut and the room returns to silence.

* * *

Not much happened after that, and I fell asleep quickly. When I wake up again, the room is empty. I push myself up and double check, but I'm certain there is no-one in the room with me.

"Peeta? Finn?" I wait a few seconds but get no response. That is when I decide that I can't stand being bedridden any longer, so I push myself round and swing my legs over the bed before standing. The floor is cold under my bare feet and feels funny under my toes. Walking feels weird because I haven't moved much in a while, so my limbs are stiff, but I get the hang of it in a few seconds and get out of the room quickly.

I don't recognise the hospital outside of my room; I don't think I've ever been in this part of it before. Then again, most people won't have been. The majority of births are at home, but I guess Peeta panicked, and to be fair, I was a little scared to say "Put me down, I want to have a baby here" so I just let him carry me. I look around; there is nobody to be seen, no doctors, nothing. I see a sign that has some badly painted words written on it and head forwards; in the direction of what I think is the NICU. After a few minutes of aimlessly walking, I see a door that has the words "Neonatal Intensive Care Unit" written (in better handwriting) on the door. I push it open and find Peeta sitting on a stool much like the one in my room.

He's sitting by a really scary looking contraption that's hooked up to what looks like glass box. She's inside it, with a tube in her nose. I watch as her stomach inflates and deflates and feel little relief that she's breathing. She's asleep, and therefore her eyes are closed, but she definitely looks like Peeta. Her hair is already very obviously Peeta's; blonde and slightly curly. There is something about her; maybe it's her mouth, or the way she's curled up her hand up with her index finger pressing on the space between her eye and the top of her nose, but something about her reminds me of prim.

I don't say anything as I walk in and sit with Peeta, on the opposite side of the incubator. I sit and watch her sleep; she looks so peaceful in such a scary environment.

"So, Finn said you thought of a name?" Peeta says without looking up at me.

"mmm," I agree, slightly distracted.

"You want to tell me?"

"Oh, uh, yeah." I look up at him, "Laurel"

"Laurel," Peeta says the name as if he's getting his mouth used to it, "Yeah, I like it," he smiles, "Laurel Mellark."

"Laurel Mellark," I repeat, "Survivor."

**Oh, so I will just fill you in on the name Laurel. The bit about the trees in the last chapter is all true and they are beautiful and strong trees, but I put more thought into it then that. In history, victors and people that were looked up to as strong leaders and such were given crowns of laurel leaves to wear as a sort of trophy I guess. Also, the name "Laurel" comes from the name Laurence/Lawrence (yes, as in Jennifer Lawrence - lucky coincidence) which means "Alive" so really the name couldn't be more fitting. Thank you again for making the 50th chapter possible, new chapter tomorrow x**


	51. Chapter 51

**Ok, so sorry if these chapters feel as if they're going nowhere. I promise you I have a storyline brewing so don't worry. This one is dedicated to Indian-night-jasmine, thanks for reviewing, it was a lovely review. **

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review!  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x**

The day that we were allowed to take her home was the happiest of my life. Peeta carried her carefully in his arms all the way home and I walked close by his side until we were both exhausted.

The bakery is silent when we get in, probably because it is the very early in the morning. I collapse into a chair and exhale my relief.  
"I want to hold her" I plead, looking at Peeta. He hands her over to me so that I can cradle her in my arms, properly for the first time.

She's so unbelievably beautiful. Her eyes are close but I know, having seen them, that when she opens them, they reveal the stunning turquoise blue stars that twinkle in the sun. Her hair is already thick enough to see the faint blonde curls that will one day grow uncontrollable and amazing. Her nose is small and button-like and lips are pink and plump like rose petals.

"You two look like you could use some sleep," Peeta tells me, "come on, let's go to bed."

* * *

After a few hours of sleep, I'm woken up to the sound of tears. And so it begins, I think to myself as I drag my body out of bed and make my way to Laurel's cot. I pick her up in my arms and rock her ever so slightly as I pace the room. It's very early still, and she wasn't crying for long, but it was loud enough to get Rye's attention. Within minutes, he's standing sleepily in the door way, his eyes barely open.

"What. The. Hell. Was that? I'm trying to nurse a hangover here, kat…" He stops when he's a bit more aware of his surroundings. I give him a sleepy smile, still rocking Laurel in my arms. "Is that her?" he slurs slightly.

"Yes," I nod, walking over to him. I stand next to him and watch as his eyes focus slightly when he gets a proper look at her.

"She's beautiful" he whispers.

"You want to hold her?" I ask.

"Maybe when I'm a little sober, I don't want to drop her," Rye rubs his eyes a bit, "What's her name?"

"Laurel," I tell him, "Laurel Mellark."

"Oh yeah, and when are you going to be one of us too?"

"What?" I ask, a little taken back by the question.

"Oh c'mon Kat. You must have thought about it too. When are you going to become a Mellark?"

I look at him and can't believe he's asked that question this early in the morning. I sigh as I look into his eyes and realise he's being serious.

"I don't know. I guess whenever Peeta wants me to be."

* * *

Eventually, Rye leaves to go back to sleep and I place Laurel back in her cot before returning to bed. Peeta is out like a light, and to be honest I don't blame him. He's done so much in the last few days that he's probably exhausted. I lie in bed, staring at the ceiling as I know I won't get any more sleep tonight. I think about the games. How much have I missed? Has somebody won it yet? Who's dead? How many are dead? What about the kids from our district? Are they alive? If not, why not? Who killed them? How? Did anyone cry when they died? **Why do I care so much? **

I start to think about how there will eventually be a time when I will have to take Laurel there. To tell her I love her before leaving her to line up with the other girls and wait for death to hit one of them. There aren't victors in district twelve, that's just the way it is. I swallow my thoughts and tell myself not to worry; Laurel is safe and will be for another 12 years.

* * *

When morning actually arrives I wake up and feed Laurel. I'm going to be honest, breastfeeding is weird and kind of hurts, but it's free and therefore I will try and stop complaining. I dress her in some white cotton clothes that I bought at the hob and take her downstairs. It's still pretty early for a Sunday, but Adrian is here for his shift already. He doesn't see me immediately, but when he does he gets very excited.

"Katniss!" he beams as he runs over to me to give me a hug. "How are you? And who's this," Adrian says happily as he taps Laurel on the nose.

"Laurel," I say, "And I'm fine thank you."

"I don't suspect that you're working today?" He asks.

"I might. _She_ doesn't really require much attendance," I nod my head towards Laurel, who is now awake and smiling.

"Ok, if you feel up to it, then sure; we could use an extra pair of hands around here! How about you work the till today? Something easy but useful?"

"Ok, sure."

I walk round to the back with Laurel still in my arms. I balance her in one arm as I awkwardly put my apron over my neck, before heading back to the front of the bakery, setting myself up next to the register. I then realise that I'm actually not going to be able to do anything with a baby in my arms so I walk back into the kitchen and find the newly fixed up pram that Peeta finished working on the day before I went to hospital.

The pram is now fully functioning and has been painted white which makes it look a lot less dangerous than when it was covered in dust with spurs poking out of the wheels. I place Laurel in it and push the pram out to my original place, behind the till.

Throughout the morning, I can smell nothing but warm bread and pastries, which is just a way of tormenting the hungry. I remember a time when I would go for days without eating, just so that Prim wouldn't go hungry, and now I don't have to do that, because not only to I make sure that her and mum have enough food, but she works here every now and again. It's never proper work but sweeping the floors will get her a penny or two; enough for some soup at the hob or to buy a new shirt.

I look at Laurel, still awake and smiling in her pram beside me. I tell myself not to worry about her future and just understand that ignorance is bliss. I should be happy that she can breathe by herself, and that she has only had one small operation that she survived. My baby is a fighter, I tell myself.

"Have you met the new guy?" I hear a voice chirp. I look up to see Adrian standing in front of me.

"New guy?"

"New peacekeeper."

"No, who'd he replace?"

"Cray, I think. Anyway, I know you won't be hunting for a while but you want to be careful if you do. This new guy's tough. And I mean _tough. _He struck a kid in town the other day."

"_A kid?! _For what?"

"Knocking down a stool, apparently."

"Jeez. What's his name? I'll have to look out for him."

"Romulus Thread"

**Ooh yay new character. So, to get the next dedication, I want you to ask me questions. I really really like answering questions. They can be about anything, who's my favourite character? Who do I think is most important (In my life, the world, the story, the books) it can literally be ANYTHING. I will dedicate the next chapter to the person who asks me THE MOST questions! So go on, get ASKING x**


	52. Questions and Answers

**Ok, so before I post the next chapter, I thought I would share the answers to ALL of the questions you guys asked. You might want to read these before the next chapter, or you could just skip them, but hey ho, I answered them for you!**

* * *

What is your inspiration for this story? **I know it sounds cheesy, but I kind of… dreamt it up(?) Basically I had a dream that a friend of mine hit me, and although it was terrifying I thought that it would be interesting to write about**

What type of books do you like to read? **I like a whole range of books, from classic literature to soppy teenage romance. I really like John Green, but I also like Jane Austin, so I guess I like to read anything. **

What is the best fanfic you have read? **I can't remember what it was called, but the first one I read had me hooked in seconds. I loved it, and to be honest, it's what inspired me to take the plunge into the wide world of fanfiction. **

What is the best fanfic you have written? **This one. Hands down. It's just better than the others, 'nuff said. **

Who is your favourite fanfic writer? **I don't really have a favourite, but if you're looking for stories to read – you should try "A Slow Burning Fire" By 'books-are-better' It's really good, but it is rated m, so y'know.**

Why do you like to write? **I like to write because writing gives me an opportunity to express myself in ways I can't to verbally; in the same way that singer/songwriters do, but I can't write music, so I chose fiction. I also think when people write well, it can be a really beautiful thing – I guess I just wanted to give that a go, but became addicted. **

What makes a good story? **It really depends on what type of story – I'm really not the one to ask, sorry :/**

What characteristics make a good bio? **You mean in a character? Um, well I find the thing you really want to do when creating a character; you want to make them believable. It's all very well if the character is amazingly hot or the best at whatever they do, but that just isn't believable. I mean look at Katniss – she's an outcast, she loves her family, she's full of imperfections. The imperfections are what make her relatable and believable. I mean, we all make mistakes, why shouldn't our characters. **

What is a good summary if a fanfic? **You tell me, I'm rubbish at them!**

Are you excited for catching fire to come out? **Yes! Very, very much so. It looks pretty good, got to say. **

Should they have made another book about life after mockingjay? **No. I think that if anything, the epilogue could have been longer or something, but I like it the way it is and it would be a shame if it were drawn out to ridiculous lengths. **

How do you take the time to create a story that actually makes sense? **This is an interesting question, mainly because 1. I don't really make/take the time to write and 2. It doesn't always make sense. I really don't plan my stories. I just write whatever comes to me and leads on from where I left off! And as for taking the time to write, sometimes I wake up on a Saturday and just write a chapter before breakfast, it's not really something I put loads of time into. Effort, yes, but not time. **

Laurel is a beautiful name, how did you get the idea? **I mentioned the idea behind the name in a previous chapter, if you want to read that. I got the idea whilst searching for names meaning 'Alive' and Laurence came up, so that started the ball rolling until I got to Laurel. **

Will Peeta talk more? **Of course! Only, what about we can't be sure. **

Omg is what rye said to katniss mean that peeta is going to propose? **Nope. It was a hint at a future idea/theme to come, though. (Mwhahaha I love teasing you guys.)**

Is her mum going to even want to see her grandaughter? **Maybe. The problem is – I don't really like Katniss' mother, so she might not be in it for a while, or at all. **

Why did you call your fanfiction bones? **I don't know. I brainstormed a few ideas, such as 'broken' and 'broken bones' and even 'a kiss for every hit' and in the end I just went with Bones, because it had a better ring to it. **

How were your exams? **Alright thanks, I didn't do great in science but I did well in the others – I think – thanks for asking :) **

You're so great at writing, where do you get the ideas? **They usually just come to me, but a lot of the time, I will get ideas whilst reading or watching a movie. My friends give me ideas and help with some storylines. I can find inspiration in all sorts. **

Is laurel going to be mockingjay? **That's an interesting thought. I hadn't really thought about it as a possibility myself, but it is very interesting. **

When you think about it, does peeta love katniss more, or katniss loves Peeta more? **I think it's a very mutual relationship. Peeta wants to protect Katniss and loves her a lot, but at the same time Katniss depends on Peeta almost as much as she depends on herself. **

What happens to gale? **Spoilers.**

Is rye going to find another girl? **I don't know. Like I said I don't plan my stories. I think he will. I hope he will. He deserves it. **

What will happen to prim and Micah? **The inevitable.**

Who is your favourite character? **My favourite character is Rye. He is not however the most important character, but I will get to that later.**

Does the new peacekeeper have a big role? **He might. **

Does he hurt the baby? **He might.**

Does anything bad happen to Laurel? **Spoilers.**

Why did u make pip die? (I loved her.) **I loved her too. This is where I mention the most important character that I was talking about. Pip was, and still is, the most important character. She will continue on as a martyr until the end, only because her death was so complex. More complex than I explained. I think there was just something so symbolic about pip, and that was why she had to die and become a martyr. **

Does Peeta ask Katniss marry him? **Probably.**

Do they ever get married? **It's a possibility.**

If so, can you make it soon? **Probably not.**

When is prim going meet Laurel? **Soon. I think. **

What was your favourite part of this story? **Um, I don't know, the bit when Gale left Katniss for dead, just because it was a great chapter to write.**

What your favourite colour? **Red.**

What your favourite kind of pastry? **Danish.**

What would you tell someone who's think of writhing a fanfic? **Do it! Just get writing, go go go!**

Do you listing to music when you write you story's? **Yes, all the time. And it changes as I write different things. If I'm writing sad/emotional chapters I listen to a lot of snow patrol.**

How did come up with this story idea? **Dream dream dream dream.**

I'm in the middle of Catching Fire right now. I already now about Katniss getting redrawn for the quarter quell, the new peacekeepers, the possible district 13. All that stuff. I just noticed that the Cray part was from the book, so I was just wondering, would there be any more spoilers from the books? **I shouldn't think so. If there are, I will try and signpost them in the author's note at the beginning, but the story isn't much influenced by the goings on of the books, so I don't think there will be many spoilers.**

You said you were from England, do you have a British accent? **There is honestly no such thing. What people refer to as the "British accent" they mean upper/middle class southern accent. There are so many regional accents in Britain, so there really isn't such thing. We don't all exaggerate our T's and speak very slowly, like it's portrayed in TV. But, technically speaking… yes. I do. **

How many chapters will this fanfic be? **However many I feel like writing.**

Do you like the color pink? **It's alright.**

Favorite show? **Doctor Who. All the way, Doctor Who.**

Do you ship Joshifer? **I think it's cute. I don't actually ship it, but I do find it unbearably cute.**

When did you first read THG? **Just over a year ago now.**

Swiftie or Directioner? **Neither, sorry. **

Girly or tomboy? **Somewhere inbetween, probably a bit more tomboy.**

Rain or sunshine? **Rain. It's an excuse to stay inside and read and drink hot chocolate and curl up in a blanket.**

Coke or Pepsi? **Coke.**

Pizza or burgers? **PIZZA**

Do you speak any language besides English? **Bonjour, oui, je suis parlé un petit français**

If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be? **Africa.**

Have you ever met anyone famous? **Yes, I met Noel Fielding, David Beckham and Ben Stratton. (Ben Stratton may not be famous to you, but he's an idol of mine.)**

Favorite fandom? **THG or Doctor Who.**

Have you told anyone about this account? **Yes, my friends know about it. They help me come up with ideas. My English teacher knows that I write fanfiction – but to my knowledge he doesn't read it… I hope he doesn't read it.**

Do you have an Instagram? **Nope, and I won't get it. **

Do you watch reality tv shows? **Occasionally. Big brother can be funny.**

If you could be next to anyone right now, who would it be? **I wish I could tell you that. **

Favorite food? **Chinese chicken and mushrooms with egg fried rice.**

Favorite word? **Fabulous.**

Someone who inspires you? **Lots of people. My friends, My sister, My English teacher (Sometimes), John Green, David Tennant, Noel Fielding, Jennifer Lawrence for her choices regarding her morals, Josh Hutcherson for his work with SBNN, there are probably more but I can't think of them. To be honest, I could write pages and pages of people who inspire me.**

Twilight or Harry Potter? ***Braces self for the shit storm that this will cause* I hated twilight and haven't read harry potter.**

Harry Potter or THG? **See previous question. **

Favorite book in THG series? **I love all of them for different reasons but I guess I enjoyed Catching fire or Mockingjay the most. Probably Mockingjay.**

Role model? **David Tennant.**

Cats or dogs? **Cats.**

Shy or outgoing? **Outgoing.**

Does gale get whipped? **Maybe.**

**Ok, this was fun. Thanks for your questions guys, they were really fun to answer and tease you with! **


	53. Chapter 52

**I've re-uploaded this, because messygreenroom pointed out that i was writing Cray instead of Thread. Thank you for pointing that out!**

**Ok, so I hoped you enjoyed the Q&A session there, here is the actual chapter. This one has some drama in it, because I know you guys love drama! It's dedicated to the guest who asked me if I have a British accent. You didn't leave a name or anything, but this one is for you!**

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So six months came and passed quickly since Laurel's birth and in no time at all she's already really grown up. She giggles a lot, as well as tries to crawl – she's not quite got the hang of it. Prim comes round to see Laurel and Micah every day. She loves her niece so much and they look so similar. It's almost as if Prim's her mother instead of me.

In this moment, Peeta and I are sitting on the floor of our bedroom. Laurel is sitting on Peeta's knees as he bounces her up and down. She giggles and claps her hands every time she flies a few inches in the air, before landing back on her dad's legs with a thud. Since having the baby, the group of us got together and decided that it would be best if Peeta and I took turns having days off, and had one day where we could both be with Laurel. So we decided, Peeta works Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and I work Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. It works well because Olivia works on Tuesdays and Saturdays, and prim comes in to sweep the floors on Thursdays.

I look out of the window, up into the grey November skies. I can't believe that it's already been six months since Laurel was born. It seems like only yesterday that I was struggling against a gas mask to stay awake, screaming that I wanted to see her. I'm glad she's safe now.

It's pretty early on a Friday morning and the day promises to be a cold one. I think about how I promised Rye that I would take Laurel into town with us. I haven't been out much recently. Romulus Thread is still head peacekeeper and he is as tough as Adrian said he was. Since Laurel's birth, I've seen him give out a whole manor of punishments, for some of the pettiest laws. He will easily slap people, but occasionally he will threaten to give blood lettings. I've heard a few blood lettings, but only seen him give one first hand. He grabbed this man's arm and slowly cut deeper and closer to his wrists. Essentially he stabbed the man, slit his wrists. He died. The man that is, not Thread. His favourite form of torture, however, is whipping. He makes a spectacle of it.

Eventually, Peeta stops bouncing our baby on his legs and hands her over to me.

"I should probably get up and go to work," he says with a half-smile, "Have fun in town."

"Ok. I, uh. I love you." I say, bouncing Laurel on my hip.

"You too" He says without looking at me. He gets his stuff together and leaves the room. I watch as he leaves, his face is somewhat mysterious and in some way perturbed. It worries me, but then I remember where I am, and who I'm with and I snap back into it.

Later on, at about 9 am, Rye and I get Micah and Laurel ready and get out. Early starts aren't necessarily considered "early" here in twelve, and I need to get some new clothes for Laurel, especially as the cold is finally kicking in.

When we are all ready, we step out into the cold morning air and walk the short walk to town. It's already pretty busy when we get there. I clutch the handles of the pram tighter as we walk, standing closer to Rye.

"Is it ok if I go and look around a bit?" Micah asks. Rye nods and in a flash he's gone. Rye and I carry on walking in silence, occasionally looking around, but not at anything in any detail.

"So you want to tell me what's wrong?" Rye asks me. I stop and pretend to look interested in some spoons on a stall to my right.

"Kat, we've got plenty of spoons…" He taps my shoulder and turns me around, "What's wrong?"

I look down at my feet and try and think of something to say. If I blame illness, then he'll begin to worry, if I say that I'm sad, he'll begin to worry. If I tell him the truth… I can't tell him the truth.

"It's Peeta," too late, I told him the truth, "Something's up"

"So you've seen it too?"

"Wait, you've seen it?"

"Of course I have. It's pretty damn obvious. I mean, he's not fooling anyone with the 'I'm tired' or 'I'm busy' nonsense. I mean, come on."

"I know, I know. The only time I see him smile anymore is when he's looking at Laurel" I say, stroking her cheek as I mention her name.

"Well, it's a little hard to frown in front of such a beautiful little baby, but yes, that's escaping the point. What's up with him?"

"I really don't know," I sigh.

That is when I hear it, the horrendous sound of Thread's voice screeching from across the market. He sounds angry, really angry, and everyone knows that someone's going to get punished. Everyone goes silent as they watch the accused being dragged up the cold concrete steps and thrown to the ground in front of Thread and everyone in town. His voice hits us like a dagger even from where we are, which is practically as far away as we could get from him. As we're so far away, I can't make out who it is on the ground, but I feel sorry for them all the same.

"This little bugger, has decided that _Stealing _would be a good way to get himself a little attention. Well, it worked _boy_. What's your name?" He hisses to the boy on the floor. I still can't see him, but it's clear as day when he says his name. "What's that _boy_, speak up" Thread jeers.

"Micah." He says, you can hear his voice begging not to be timid.

"Well, Micah. Why don't you tell us a little about yourself… Where are you from?"

"Eleven" Micah says, trying to be brave.

"Eleven! Why. Looks like we've got a newbie around town, eh?" Thread says as he kicks Micah in the ribs. I can see a little clearer now I've moved forwards. I must have subconsciously picked Laurel up because I find myself clutching her close to my side as I slide my way through the crowd.

"Now, I don't know how things work in eleven, _boy_. But here, stealing is a crime punishable by whipping. Do you know what that means?"

I can't hear anyone around me. It's so silent you could hear a pin drop, I just want to leave, but I can't stop myself from pushing my way to the front, until I'm practically standing under the concrete steps.

"Oi, did you hear me?" Thread says, digging his heavy boots into the section of flesh under Micah's ribcage. "Do you understand what I mean by a whipping, _boy?_"

Micah opens his mouth to talk, but before a single breath can leave his lungs, another voice speaks out. Rye has weaned his way through to the front too, and is now standing on the first step, screaming.

"Let. Him. Go." He demands.

"Why?" Thread snaps.

"Let him go, and take me if you need to whip someone"

"Rye, what are you doi-"

"Shut up, Kat." He says, snapping his head round to face mine for a moment before spinning it back to face Thread.

"Go on. Whip me. Just whatever you do, don't hurt a single hair on that boys head."

I didn't think it were possible, but it gets quieter. The pin has dropped and it's about to go in someone's heel.

"Alright" Thread says, kicking Micah once more to make him stand. "If you insist."


	54. Chapter 53

**Here you go guys, sorry it's a bit short, but I had coursework to do. It's nice and dramatic! This chapter is dedicated to ilovepaigexo for the lovely review! Thank you! And to answer your questions, Katie (guest) - I was born in/grew up in the south of england, I don't really want to be more specific, and I'm 14.  
**

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Micah tumbles towards down the steps and lands in a heap at my legs. I crouch down and give him my hand, pulling him up to his feet with a jump.

"What happened?" I hiss quietly so that no one can hear.

"I didn't do anything," he says, his eyes are proof enough that he's telling the truth, "I promise."

"Alright," I sigh, "Take laurel back to the bakery, make sure she's safe. Tell whoever you see first what's going on, Peeta, Adrian, even Olivia. Just make sure they know!" I say, placing Laurel in his arms. The pram is long gone, drowning in the waves of people.

"Go! I say, "Go on, quickly."

He clutches Laurel to his chest as he dips and pushes his way through the crowds, disappearing in the deep see of people. I turn back and do as everyone else is; stare in shock at Rye, who is facing Thread. Both of them stare at each other angrily; Rye because Thread was about to whip the only living trace of his one true love, and Thread because Rye has shown him up.

"Well. We're waiting. _Introduce yourself." _Thread jeers as he tries to remain superior.

"Rye Mellark," he states bluntly.

"So… _Rye," _Thread pushes him to the floor, "Why'd you save him?" he asks as he walks circles around Rye. Rye looks up at him from the ground. He looks at him so that his jaw juts out a little.

"Because that boy was her brother," he shouts

"Her?"

"Pip," he says, his voice softening as his mouth forms her name. He looks at me and all I can do is look back, the desperation and sorrow in the air is almost palpable.

"Oh, let me guess, she loved you and you loved her and then she left." Thread moans in a pathetically fake voice. He turns to the peacekeepers at the bottom of the steps.

"Tie him up boys."

Within minutes, Rye is kneeling on the grey concrete slab of a step with both hands tied to a post. Thread walks in front of him every now and again, teasing him with the leather whip that he drags across the ground under his nose. He is stripped of his shirt and left with his back exposed to the freezing cold.

I watch as Thread stand behind Rye, whip at the ready.

"I think we'll be nice and just do 20 lashings, yes?" Rye remains silent, and the whipping commences.

The first whip was the worst. It struck his back like a paintbrush on a blank canvas. It only took a few lashings before any blood was visible, but when it came it came thick and fast. After the 10th strike, rye was shaking ferociously by the post, desperately trying to stay in control. He hadn't made much noise, as to prove that Threat didn't scare him; although he clearly did.

"She still worth it, _boy? _That girl, she still worth it?"

"Always."

By the 17th lashing, Rye is barely conscious and won't be able to take another hit.

"Stop!" I screech as thread raises the whip for the 18th time. He stops what he's doing, but keeps his hand in the air for a moment before dropping it and turning to me. He walks slowly down the steps and begins to edge closer towards me. I look at Rye, who is hanging on to what little consciousness he has remaining and is using it to stare at me. He shakes his head a little, but stops because it hurts him to move.

"What was that?" Thread asks, inches away from my face.

"You're going to kill him!" I say, quieter this time.

"Oh, I'm going to kill him, am I?"

"Yes!"

"Well maybe he should have thought of that before stepping in like the hero."

He turns back to walk back towards Rye and, before I can stop myself, I mutter something under my breath.

"He's more than a hero than you'll ever be," I bite my tongue as soon as I realise what I've just done.

"What was that?" he snaps, turning back to face me. He knows full well what I said, but I still say nothing.

"More of a hero then me? Good. It means this won't be too out of character," he hisses before punching me in the face, hitting my eye and the bridge of my nose. I inhale sharply as the pain begins to throb through my face.

Thread then proceeds to run up the concrete steps and gives Rye three quick lashes on the back.

"Let these two be a lesson to you all! You do not defy the capitol, the peacekeepers, or me!" he screams at the top of his lungs. My vision is blurry in one eye, but I can see enough to know that Rye is no longer conscious, and if he's not taken care of, he will lose too much blood.

Thread continues to scream at the top of his lungs and I ignore every word until the end of his speech. People begin to leave quickly, and two peacekeepers untie Rye's hands and quickly walk away, leaving him alone and unconscious on the ground.

Where's Peeta? I think. Where's Adrian, anybody. Micah must have gotten back. I look behind me, but there's no way I could spot them amongst all of those people, so instead of waiting, I decide to go to Rye myself.

I climb the concrete steps and kneel beside him. I ignore the oozing red liquid that covers his back and brush the hair out of his face.

"Rye… Rye, wake up. Look at me. Look at me."

"Katniss…" he says, his voice weak.

"You're ok. You're going to be fine."

"No I'm not," he coughs, "I don't want to be"

"What? Rye what do you mean?"

"Why do… why do you think I did this?"

"What are you talking about?" I say, my voice cracking in the back of my throat.

"I did it… to be with her."

**:O Sorry, 'nother cliffhangery thing! **


	55. Chapter 54

**I would like to start this Authors Note with a thank you. So thank you to everyone that voted for me in the REBEL Awards. I don't know how many of you may have seen this already, but this story WON! Wooo! Thanks so much guys, I couldn't have don't this without you guys! CAUTION: this chapter is sad! This one is dedicated to Bonesfan (guest) because apparently they managed to make this story famous at their school by talking about it so much. It's really sweet to know that you bug your friends with obsessions over little things like I do!**

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"Katniss!" I hear voices call behind me. Peeta, Adrian and Finnick are all running; the sound of their footsteps is heavy even in the distance. I stay where I am; holding Rye's head in my hands. His hair clings to his face with sweat and his eyelids seem heavy. I beg him to keep his eyes open, and he assures me that he will. It's almost like everything is speeding up as he slows down.

"Rye, no… stay with me… please. You can't die, you can't."

"I can't keep on living, kat…"

"No, you have to. Please. What about Micah? You're all he's got, Rye"

"He has you guys… Look, kat, please don't try and-"

"No. I'm not going to sit here and let you give up. Nobody gets left behind, ok?"

Rye doesn't respond, but instead becomes very droopy and weary. His head suddenly feels heavy in my hands, and I want to slap him for doing such a stupid thing like standing up for Micah. Then again, I would have done the same for Prim or Laurel. Being careful not to let his head hit the floor, I check his pulse; it's evidently there, but it's very slow, worryingly slow, so I start to panic. I turn my head to see that Peeta, Adrian and Finnick are all right behind me now. Finnick is carrying a wooden table with broken legs that he must have managed to pick up on his way through the market.

"What happened?" Adrian asks me as Peeta and Finn lift Rye's limp body off the ground and front first on to the table. His back is still red and blue from the blood and bruising and he's shaking a bit.

"I…" I don't know what to say. I don't think Rye would appreciate the attention he might get if I tell them it was partially deliberate. "Micah got done for stealing, and Rye took the punishment for him."

"Micah got done for stealing?!" Adrian says incredulously as I watch Finnick and Peeta lug the table, and Rye, onto their shoulders and begin to carry him. Quickly and carefully.

"I… I don't know, he said he didn't… Look, we just need to get Rye back quickly, look at him." I say, hurrying my words due to my distraction.

"Ok, alright. Kat, look at me. It's alright, he's going to be fine."

"I… I know."

* * *

When we get back to the bakery, Micah is sitting on Madge's lap like a child. You can tell he's been crying. Olivia is holding Laurel to her chest, rocking her slowly. The whole place looks morbid until we enter.

Adrian flips the sign as we walk through the door, and Peeta and Finn place Rye on the counter top in the kitchen. Immediately, ice and various medicinal leaves are placed on the gashes to relieve the pain. The ice immediately brings Rye back into focus and he begins whaling about the pain.

I watch for a while from the corner, but eventually I can't help myself from screaming with him; screaming everything from apologies to self-loathing. It gets to the extremity that Finnick ends up carrying me out of the room. He carries me all the way up to the bedroom that Peeta and I share, before sitting me down on the bed. He pulls me into a tight, safe hug and tells me that everything is going to be fine, just like he did when Laurel was born. When he pulls away from the hug, I realise that he's kneeling on the floor in front of me. He places his hands on my shoulders before saying anything.

"You have to understand that this is not your fault. None of it is."

"No, but it is" I protest, sniffing a little.

"How?" he asks as if he's proved his point already. I bite my lip. I shouldn't say, I really shouldn't, but I can't explain myself if I don't.

"Rye wants to kill himself" I mutter under my breath. I regret it as soon as I've said it and hope that he didn't hear me. But he did. It was just loud enough to be audible, and therefore he stops trying to prove me wrong and takes my hand in both of his.

"Kat…"

"No. Don't try and tell me that's not my fault either, because we both know that it is. He wants to die because Pip did, and Pip died because of me. If I had just stayed with Gale none of this would have ever happened. I wish Peeta never found me; I wish I'd died when Gale left me to."

Finnick drops my hand. He looks sad, disappointed even. He looks as if I've just wished him dead, rather than me. I avoid his eyes, which cut into me like a knife. I want to take everything back, I want to reverse time and stop myself from ever saying those words.

"Finnick, I-"

"No. Just. No, Katniss," he snaps, cutting off my sentence, "Don't ever, _ever_ say that. Do you hear me? Never."

"I, Finn…"

"No, Katniss. You need to promise me that you'll never, ever say that again."

"I promise, but why-"

"Do you know why I'm here?" He says, cutting me off again and therefore making it difficult to get a word in edgeways.

"No"

"I'm here on 'Capitol Business'" he sighs as he takes a seat on the bed next to me, "do you know what that is?" I shake my head, deciding that it's probably not the worth the struggle to try and talk. "Prostitution," he says bluntly, "I am… a prostitute, Katniss. Snow sells my body to try and get the people of the districts to trust the capitol and the previous victors. It's not just me, either, but I'll keep the others secret." He's looking at me, but I can't look at him, I can't bring myself to do it. "You see, once you win the games, you really don't win anything. Ok, yeah sure, I'm still alive, but I don't get to live. I have to do whatever I'm told; for fear that the people I love are safe. That means you, now, Kat, and your sister and daughter. And Peeta and his brothers, and Olivia, and…"

"And Madge" I finish his sentence for him.

He and Madge have become quite the couple recently, secretly – for obvious reasons now – and you can tell that Finnick really does love her.

"Yes. And Madge. So just, don't ever say that you wish you were dead, because the Capitol knows a lot more than they let on, and trust me, they might just grant that wish."

I stare at Finnick for a little while, trying to wrap my brain around all of this new information. What really gets me though, is how much he seems to care; how wrong I was about his innocence and naivety.

**Ok, so Puja (Aka Pip) Has requested that I dedicate the next chapter to someone who tells me how much/why the miss Pip - I thought it was a little big headed, but oh well, I still think it's a good idea ;) (Love you Puja) So go on, get reviewing, Pip herself will help decide who will get the next dedication! Go!**


	56. Chapter 55

**Ok guys, sorry I've missed a few days, I've been ill and had to revise for my RE exam tomorrow (it's the real thing, not a mock) anyway, here it is, the long awaited chapter 55. This one's dedicated to Lizzie3 (guest) because not only was your review cute, but you have the same name as me!  
**

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That night was sleepless. Apart from Laurel, nobody in the bakery slept at all. Madge and Olivia went home; I heard them as the left. In fact, even now, as I sit on the bed, string at the clock; I can still hear Rye's screams. If only they knew. If only they knew that he's not screaming with the pain. He's screaming to leave. I don't know whether to worry about him or hate him. Why would I hate him, after all, we've all wanted to give up, right? Perhaps it's because he's the first one of us to act on that need: That need to get out of here quickly. Maybe it was the fact that he decided to give up completely, or maybe it was the fact he had made that decision before me; whatever it was I hated him for it.

Then again, there's no use hating what you wish to be. He was brave enough to take the plunge that's all. Unfortunately too many people loved him and the opportunity's been taken from his grasp.

What adds to all of this, what really bugs me about the whole situation, is that Peeta is still on my mind. Why won't he look me in the eyes when he talks to me? Why doesn't he hold me like he used to? Why isn't he here? I just can't shake my demons away; they stay in place, clinging to my brain. I just wish I knew what was wrong.

Laurel is still fast asleep, the lucky thing. It's ironic and typical that the only night I can't sleep anyway, she gets a full night's sleep. I watch her breathe for a while, witnessing the medical miracle that is my daughter's lungs as they fill with air. I sigh heavily before quickly feeling guilty; it seems stupid, but I feel as if I'm taking advantage of my ability to breathe.

I curl up on the bed, not bothering to slide under the covers, and just stay there in the solemn silence that fills that room. I don't cry, I don't sob. I just shake; curled up in my ball of uselessness. I don't stop until I feel two hands on my arms. I look up to see Peeta, his face grave and sympathetic; his eyes are heavy and his mouth is in a deadly straight line, with his lips pursed ever so slightly. He joins me on the bed, placing my head on his lap as he strokes my hair.

"Shh… it's ok… he's ok, Rye's ok," he soothes. By now I am actually crying; the tears falling over my nose and onto the fabric of his trousers. He smells of bread and sweat and salt, his hands are warm and slightly wet. I silently analyse the imperfections in the room, as I continue to cry and Peeta continues to stroke my hair and Laurel continues to breathe. Three things that shouldn't be happening; Peeta should be comforting me, I have a living breathing child and I am allowing this all to go on. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be alive; I promised Finnick I'd never say that out loud again, but its one-hundred-per-cent true.

"I want to die, Peeta. I want to die."

"Shhhh," he whispers, his breathing shows no sign of a change in emotion, but I'm beyond caring.

"I deserve to die."

"No, Katniss, you don't," he says, his voice cold as ice, "Just, come on, you need to try and sleep. Please, for me."

After a bit of arguing, Peeta managed to convince me to sleep and I get a few hours of shut-eye before waking up screaming again. The nightmares were all about Rye, obviously, but I couldn't re-live the moment without screeching. When I do wake up, my hand goes straight to my face, covering the stinging bruises and swollen cut on the bridge of my nose. As soon as I realise where I am, I take a few moments to assess the situation. I am in bed alone, and Peeta is sitting a chair at the end of the room, facing me and holding Laurel in his arms. He rocks her slightly, muttering something under his breath. I watch him and wander what's going on in that mind of his, what is it that's changed? He looks peaceful as he holds her; she does too for that matter. I wish she looked so content in my arms. I know he knows I'm awake; nobody can ignore the screaming, not if they're in the same room. He doesn't look at me though; he keeps his eyes on his daughter.

"What's wrong?" I ask, leaning against the headboard of the bed, leaning my head on my left shoulder. Peeta looks up at me for a minute before returning his glance to Laurel.

"What makes you think something's wrong?" he asks, his voice falsely upbeat.

"Oh come on Peeta," I protest softly, "What's up?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Oh come on. Peeta… I'm-"

"SHUT UP," He shouts, having just placed Laurel back in her cot.

"Peeta, please," I plead, a little worried by his tone.

"Oh stop it. You're just… it's pathetic Katniss. You're crawling around everyone's problems and begging," he spits.

I don't say anything. Peeta's words hurt. I want to tell him exactly what he's doing to me by saying this, but an all too familiar feeling takes over my body and I struggle to realise what it is at first.

"Sometimes, it's none of your business. Remember that."

That's when it hits me. _Remember that. _Those words. This whole argument is almost the same as one I had with gale. The one I had when I was late to his, the same day that I fixed Peeta's leg. I know what this feeling is… it's the anticipation of being hit.

"I'm sorry." I ask; my voice merely a whisper, my presence in the room tiny.

Peeta must see how damaging the conversation is and moves forward to comfort me.

"Kat, I'm sorry I didn't mean…" He reaches out to hold me, but I flinch and move away without thinking. The room goes silent and I feel a shaky breath escape my lips. I look away from him.

"Did you just… You just flinched, Katniss."

"I… No, it was… I, um" I stutter through some words as I try to choose what to say.

"You thought I was going to hit you…"

"No, I didn't, I… What I thought was… I…"

"You really thought I was…" Peeta reaches out once more and before I can stop myself I do it again, "See, you did it again. Just now, you flinched!"

I don't say anything. What is there to say? We both know that I did flinch. I moved away from him and I moved away quick, I genuinely thought he was going to hit me. Peeta leaves the room very quickly as I stay curled up in a tight ball on the bed. I feel a prickly tear form in my eye and, not too long after, they start coming thick and fast.

What happened to me?

**Before you guys get annoyed - yes, we will find out what's up with Peeta. I can't make any guarantees about how long you'll have to wait before you know, but you will definitely know. Sorry again that this is so late, I was stupid and got ill, oops. Love you all. Best review about, umm, what you think Peeta's secret is, will get the next dedication. Get reviewing people! **


	57. Chapter 56

**Alrighty guys, here it is - Peeta's big secret will finally be revealed. Nobody guessed it I don't think, so yay I wrote another bizarre and unexpected plot twist thing! Woo! This one is dedicated to Nikihemsworth (guest) Thank you for writing such a lovely review, Pip (puja) and I both thought it was very sweet and I wish you luck for your GCSE on wednesday (I know how much GCSEs suck. RE is a right pain in the arse I'll tell you that!)**

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Peeta didn't come back for a good few hours. I wanted to go and look for him, but after explaining everything to Finnick, he told me that it was a bad idea, and that Rye wanted to see me anyway.

I don't bother to get changed to see Rye, so I walk downstairs, through the bakery and into the kitchen, wearing the same clothes as I did yesterday. I leave Laurel with Madge and Finnick, who tell me they're going to take her out as if everything is normal. I wasn't so sure on the idea in the first place, but I didn't really have a choice; Peeta's not around, and I'm not necessarily fit to look after a baby.

I don't want to go into the kitchen, not really. I stand at the door way for a long time deliberating whether or not I should actually go in and talk to him, but he talks to me, so I guess he knows I'm there.

"You gonna come in?" he asks bluntly, catching me off guard.

"Uh, yeah" I say, I can't go and look for Peeta now.

"What've I missed?" he asks the question just as if he's been on holiday for a few days.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what's up? You look worse than death itself."

"Oh. I. it's nothing."

"Didn't sound like nothing when Peeta slammed the door so hard he almost broke it, no what happened?"

"Why are you so… cheery?"

"I'm not cheery. I'm never _cheery. _ I'm just accepting the fact that I am alive and there is nothing I can do about that. So stop avoiding the question, what happened?"

I look at him for a little while. He's still lying in the table, his back draped with once-white cotton which has now been completely drowned in red. His head rests to the side on a cushion, enabling him to look at me.

"We had and argument" I say, keeping my eyes on his back.

"About…"

"Uh, nothing I asked him if he was ok, and he said no. I told him it was obvious he wasn't and he got all huffy and he snapped at me and then when he tried to apologise, I…"

I let the moment manifest itself as a memory in my mind's eye for a second. I watch myself from Peeta's point of view and I just look so… so… pathetic. I must be concentrating harder then I realise because I find Rye shouting to get my attention. I look at his face again and shake off the memories.

"And then you what?" he asks, a little annoyed if I do say so myself.

"I… flinched."

"Flinched?"

"Yeah, I just. He reached out to touch me, just my shoulder, not my face or wrist - or any of the places that Gale used to grab when he was angry with me - but I couldn't do it, I just completely tensed up and moved away."

"Oh Kat…" he sighs sympathetically.

For a while after, I stand in the kitchen in front of him in silence. He doesn't say anything and, uncomfortable with the silence, I cross my arms over my chest and wonder what he could possibly be thinking about.

"Hmmm," he mumbles to himself.

"What?"

"Oh, it's nothing," he says as if he hadn't made any noise whatsoever.

"No, go on."

Rye moves his head a little so he can see out of the door. He watches for a few minutes.

"Shut the door then come closer," he instructs; his voice full of urgency. I do as he says and kneel by the table so that I am at his eye line.

"What?" I whisper, curious to know what is so secret he can't even risk his own brother knowing.

"Peeta's part of the Liberation Populi"

I can't breathe. No, he's not. Peeta's not like that… he wouldn't be one of those… he's a pacifist surely… what would compel him to… why would he… Rye's words render me speechless. I am swimming in so many questions and thought that I'm scared I might drown. I don't understand how this could be. He can't be telling the truth, can he?

"No," I stand up, "No, he's not. You're joking."

"I'm not, Katniss, and you need to be quiet. Seriously. I will explain everything, just calm down."

It takes a while, but eventually I manage to control my breathing and the urge to scream slowly fades away. I kneel back by the table, feeling the tears pricking at my eyes.

"He is a Freedom Soldier, yes. He is part of the LP, yes, He didn't tell you, no. Do I know why he didn't, no; does that answer all of your immediate questions?"

"No. I have one more. How do you know, how can you be sure?"

"Because I am too," he says. His voice is stone cold and deadly serious.

"Why?" I ask, trying my hardest not to start sobbing.

"Because, Kat, I'm fed up of being hungry. I know that sounds stupid, being in a bakery and all, but we're only just getting enough to eat. I don't know if you've noticed, but we've got a kind of full house. You must know what it's like to skip meals so that the ones you love can eat?"

"Yes, but speaking as a person who's been in that situation, I also know how important it is to stay and provide for your family, instead of plotting and planning new ways to try and fail at getting the Capitol's attention. If you want an honest opinion, you're not going to help the one's you love if you're dead!" I say, hissing the words angrily as I know I can't shout.

"Ok, but if I need to die so that Micah can live a better life than I have, then so be it. I'm sure Peeta thinks the same about Laurel."

"I don't care what he thinks, he's wrong. Terrorism is not going to make the lives we live any better in the long term."

"I know you think that, but be honest. Are you happy that Laurel is going to grow up to have a meaningless future? Where one bad move could result in her losing her tongue and becoming a slave? Look at it like that, Katniss. Answer it honestly."

"No. I don't." I admit with a sigh.

"Then what you need to do is talk to Peeta, and support him."

"I don't think I can do that."

**So there you go, Peeta's secret is out! Before you all ask, yes I will elaborate as the story progresses and No, Peeta isn't a terrorist. That is not what is meant by this at all. I would like to point out once more that Pip reads all of the reviews, so why not say hey or leave her a message? Anything that'll make her laugh/smile would be awesome you lovely people. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! x**


	58. Chapter 57

**Ok. So I have not posted in what? over a week? I am sooo sorry. I really really am. Thing is, I was ill and then my computer died and then it was fixed and I wrote half a chapter but then I forgot to save it and I got ill again and I am sorry. But anyway, the chapter is here, hopefully it'll clear up some stuff that you were all unsure about. I deliberately wanted to confuse you guys, but I wasn't expecting to be gone so long - so sorry if I caused insomnia/insanity/other horrific side effects (i.e. feels). This one is for Angelina Roongta - thank you for the multiple reviews in my absence. **

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler **

I've known about the Liberation Populi since I was about 12. I never really understood who they were or what they did until a few years ago however, when 30 men from across Panem were public executed for showing up the capitol.

They're essentially an activist group, from all across the country that are aiming to take back the districts. The problem is, for an activist group, they're not very active. I brought this up in a conversation with Gale once, and he said that they just seem that way. He suspected that they had all sorts of massive plans, and a few small scale missions that had been covered up by the capitol. He used to say that people involved in LP missions and schemes would occasionally "go missing" at random; they would be fine one day and then the next they would be gone.

I don't know why I reacted the way I did, but once Rye was finished talking, I ran to my room. I sat on the bed and just waited. I would wait for Peeta even if I had to wait years before he walked through the door. Fortunately for me, he came in after a few hours. Neither of us say a word to each other. He walks straight over to Laurel's cot.

"She's not here, Peeta" I say, not moving from my position; my back to him, my eyes towards the door.

"Where is she?"

"Finnick and Madge are looking after her, she's fine" I say, my voice sharp.

A short silence follows my words and the tension in the room is palpable.

"Peeta. I know."

"You know what?"

"Don't make me say it. I know you don't want me to say it. Anyone could hear us, you don't want to risk it do you?"

"How do you know?"

"Rye told me," I say, I turn to face him but he doesn't look at me. Instead he keeps his back with me as he picks up a small worn out rabbit toy from Laurels cot. It lies limp on his fingers, and I watch as he runs his fingers over the fabric of the toy's face, "Why did you do it, Peeta?"

"Why does it matter?"

"_Why does it matter?" _I repeat incredulously, "Because I have a right to know. Could you not at least give me that, Peeta?"

"Are you seriously asking me that? Can you not guess? Or are you just so oblivious to what is going on in the world around you?"

That hurt. That hurt a lot. I mean, it's bad enough being kept in the dark, but being told you stepped into it on your own terms… well; that's another thing entirely. I sink back onto the bed, looking away from Peeta slightly, so that he's still in my eye line, just. I watch as he turns quickly, dropping the rabbit on the floor before running to my side. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close to him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I didn't. I didn't mean it," he repeats the words over and over until they make no sense.

"You did… but it doesn't matter" I say, completely out of it. The irony: falling to oblivion on claims that I am not aware. I pull myself together and force myself to look at him.

"You're an idiot, Peeta. What would compel you to join a terroris-"

"Shhh," he interrupts, "don't say it."

I push him away, unravelling myself from his arms. I breathe. The air tastes like salt and smoke and desperation and it scares me. I look into Peeta's eyes; they are no longer blue but grey, almost entirely colourless.

"Why? Why can't I say it?"

"Because what if someone were to hear us, I'd be killed instantly, Kat."

"Killed instantly? Peeta, by becoming one of them, you've basically become a dead man running."

"It's not like that."

"Oh yeah? Then what is it like? Why did you join them Peeta, tell me. Please. Just tell me. I ca-"

"I did it so that our daughter could live!" he snaps, "I did it" his voice softens, "so that Laurel would have a better life then we ever will."

"She's not going to have a better life without a dad. You have no idea what it's like to live without a father."

"And you have no idea what it's like to live _as _a father."

And that's when it clicked. Those words, Peeta is just like me. I think back to that day at the hospital; the first time I saw Laurel. She was so tiny and vulnerable and surrounded by heavy machinery. I think back to that feeling of complete hopelessness. That struggle to protect her. That prayer to swap, so that it was me that was on the edge of life and death, not her.

"Ok," I whisper as I edge back closer to Peeta. I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him, "I get it Peeta… I get it."

"I knew you would" he smirks before kissing me again.

I lie with my head in the nook of his shoulder, my eyes closed. We wait in silence for someone to speak, both wandering who will disturb the quiet first.

"Promise me something?" I ask, losing the game I guess.

"Huh?" Peeta utters as he turns his head slightly to look at me.

"Please don't do anything stupid," I swallow as I deliberate whether or not to add what I'm thinking. "I've lost too many people; I don't want to lose you too." The words spill out of my mouth before I can stop them.

Peeta pulls himself up, turning to face me and holding me at arms' length away from him. He looks into my eyes and takes a deep breath before answering me.

"I can promise you that I won't do anything stupid, but we both know that's not what you really want me to answer, is it? You want me to promise that I won't do anything dangerous, and that is a promise that I am not willing to make. I will do anything to protect you, Laurel, my brothers and friends, and I know that Rye will to. I can't afford to be selfish Katniss. Not if I want you to be safe, and that is all I want."

My voice is small and empty as I speak, but I just manage to say something.

"Maybe you should learn to be a little selfish once in a while. It might just save your life."

**Oooh. Ok, so I hope you liked the chapter and, to apologise for my absence once again. I will dedicate the next chapter to 2 people. I am going do another Q&A so one dedication will go to the person who asks the most questions and another dedication to the person who asks the best question. So go on, ask loads and loads of questions. ABOUT ANYTHING. Me, the books, the fanfic, the characters, other books, other characters, movies, music, life, whatever. GO PEOPLE GO!**


	59. Questions and Answers 2

**Ok, so the last Q&A I did got pretty good reception, so I decided I'd do another one! I'm uploading the new chapter aswell as this, so if you're not interested in them then feel free to skip them and go read that instead. **

* * *

_Why is this fan fiction so good? _**I don't know, you tell me. **

_Do you like waffles? _**Yeah I like waffles, do you like pancakes?**

_Can you write another fan fiction when you're done with this one? _**I most probable will. I am thinking about possible Sherlock or Doctor Who ones next, though. I feel like I need to branch out a bit.**

_Why can Peeta be a terrorist but not Katniss? _**Well, really. What I want to make clear is that Peeta has basically joined the rebels (from mockingjay) only earlier. If any of you haven't read the third book, don't worry, I'm not planning on spoiling it for you, but I will stick a spoiler alert in if needed. I guess what I'm saying is, Katniss could – and probably will- join the rebels, only not yet.**

_Why didn't gale die?_** I'm not done with him yet.**

_Who is your favourite character? _**That I created? Rye. If you mean from the original books though, Peeta.**

_Does Rye fall in love again?_** I hope so. He deserves it.**

_Will Rue be in the next chapter? _**No. Rue won't be in this. I'm basically going to say that unless they are specifically mentioned or featured in this then all of the tributes died in their games. I guess Cato or Thresh won the 74****th**** games then. **

_Can Cato and clove run the terrorists? _**No. Clove is definitely dead and Cato might be. If not, he's a victor and therefore wouldn't run the rebels.**

_Will Katniss and Peeta get married?_** Possibly. **

_Are they going to have another kid? _**I think so. **

_Can it be a boy? _**I don't know. **

_How long are you planning to write this? _**Until I get bored. I really don't know – I mean, I know how it will end and I know how life (and death in some cases) will go for all of the characters, which may change but not a lot. **

_Are you annoyed yet? _**Why would I be annoyed?**

_Does Katniss ever meet Haymitch?_** She might.**

_Will Haymitch and Effie fall in love? _**Sorry, no. I really don't get Hayffie. It's weird and I'm not a fan so… sorry 'bout that**

_Will Peeta get arrested for treason? _**Umm. Not necessarily. **

_How will Katniss react? _**To what? if it's to him getting arrested, then she might not have anything to react to, considering he might not get arrested and all. **

_Does prim ever die?_** Spoilers.**

_Do they ever find out about District 13? _**I don't know, I'm considering it as a possibility. **

_What is your favourite type of music?_** Well according to iTunes, it's "alternative" but I like all sorts. **

_Cat or dog person? _**Cat person. **

_Plain or colourful?_** COLOURFUL. **

_Would you rather have bunk beds or a loft bed? _**I've had both, but I'd have to say loft bed. **

_Would you rather have your finger cut off or lose all your hair? _**Um, finger cut off… Not that I'd want either, to be honest. **

_What name do you like the most?_ **I like all sorts of names. I guess my favourite(s) would be um… Imogen, Lauren and Clara. And then my favourite boy's names are Casper, Elijah and Noah. **

_Do you get lots of medals/trophies? _**Nope. I don't. And all of the awards I get are Academic. So like school certificates at the upper/lower school awards things. **

_What colour are your eyes and hair?_** I had blonde hair and then it when brownish, so…Brown hair and I have weird eyes. They're sort of reddish-brown in the middle and then green around that. **

_Lemonade or tea?_** Lemonade. **

_Have you had braces? _**No, I haven't.**

_Do you need glasses or contacts? _**I might need glasses when I'm older, but for now I'm fine. **

_Have you ever had a really horrible looking tanline? _**I wish. I don't tan. I burn and go red and peel. I basically look like a red fish that is descaling when I've been in the sun too long. **

_Have you ever been hunting? _**No… should I have?**

_Have you ever ridden in a fire truck? _**No, but it would be awesome if I could. **

_Do you have any animals? _**Yes, I have a Rabbit and a Cat. **

_What's your GPA? _**As in Grade Point Average. It's not really a thing in England. Like, we don't have the whole GPA thing in primary or secondary school. I think there's an equivalent in college and university, but I don't know for sure. Let's just say I get A's to C's in everything at the moment, which means I'm passing, so, uh. Yeah I just googled how the Grade Point Average system works and oh my god it looks so confusing. **

_Have you ever ridden a horse?_** Yes. **

_Do you have lots of pillows or just one? _**I have 2. **

_Any good books that you could recommend? _**Catcher in the Rye. The Great Gatsby. The Fault in our Stars. Looking for Alaska. Pride and Prejudice. Extremely loud and incredibly close. 13 Reasons why. There are loads. **

_Ever been in the hospital for a week or more? _**Not since I was born. I was in hospital for a few weeks after I was born because I was premature, but no I haven't since then. **

_Has anyone ever broken into your house? _**I hope not.**

_Bing or google? _**Google. Why is this even a question? Google is way better than Bing. **

_Batman or superman?_ **Iron Man. **

_If you had one, kindle or nook? _**Kindle **

_Best birthday gift you have ever recieved? _**Well, you know, life was a pretty good gift. **

_Have you ever watched Revolution?_ **No, is it any good?**

_Have you ever baked hay?_** What does this even mean?**

_Have you ever passed out? _**Not that I know of.**

_Have you ever shot a gun?_** No, guns aren't legal in this country. **

_Have you ever ridden in a boat?_** Yes, I used to do it quite a bit when I lived nearer the sea. **

_Diet or regular pop/soda/whatever you want to call it?_** Regular. There is no point in drinking diet. It doesn't taste as good and it's not better for you so why kid yourself?**

_Are these questions too personal?_** You just asked me whether I preferred diet or regular drinks… no this is really not too personal. **

_Are you going to answer any of these questions with questions?_** Why would I do that?**

_Do you despise anyone on fanfiction? _**I don't despise anyone. Although, despise is a really good word that people should use more often. **

_Favourite song? _**At the moment it's 'Sixteen Saltines' by Jack White. **

_If you have any pets what are they and what are their names? _**Like I mentioned before, I have a cat and a rabbit, they are called Molly and Mr Fluffy. **

_Do you think I've Asked too many questions? _**Not at all, thank you for asking so many questions. **

_Birthday? _**17****th**** of August.**

_Have you made any fanfiction friends?_** No but I want to… will you guys be my friends?**

_When are you going to update again? _**Here is the thing about that. I have been pretty sucky at uploading recently… so what I propose to do is no longer try and get the daily uploads because that is a lot of work when I have all sorts of studying/revision/homework etc. etc. BUT I will promise to do at least 2 or three uploads a week, because I understand that you would appreciate it if I carried on with this. So, this will go up today and the next chapter will be up within a few days. **

_Do you think I'm done yet? _**No, I bet there's another question. **

_Inside or outside person?_** What is this 'outside' that you speak of? (Oh, and I was write. There was another question.)**

_What is your favourite animal? _** Iron Manatee**

_Have you ever been to other countries?_** Yes, I've been to France, Wales, Spain and Belgium. **

_What is your favourite chocolate bar?_ **Reeses nutrageous **

_What do you like to do, besides writing? _**I like to read, I like to draw, I like to sing and I like to play the piano and ukulele. **

_Who is your favourite character in this story? _**Rye.**

_Do you like camping? _**When the weather's nice.**

_Are there any other characters in this story besides Pip who are based on people in real life? _** Yes, Olivia is based on my friend Mollie. She's awesome and you should all worship her. **

_Do you like donuts? _**Everybody loves donuts.**

* * *

**Ok, so this was fun. The thing is, with the Q&As, it's a bit of a one way thing. I want to know about you guys! Seriously, I've had the occasional chat with a few of you, but come on, I want to speak to more of you! I mean it. If you want to maybe send me a PM (or a review if you'd prefer) then I will be happy to have a chat or answer questions or anything. I would love to get to know you guys a bit more, you're all so amazing for sticking with me for so long, I want sort of... repay you(?) for your loyalty. Ok, so I'm going to shut up now, because I'm beginning to sound creepy, but please, if you want to talk or ask any more questions - send me a message. **


	60. Chapter 58

**Here you go guys, Chapter 58. Woo. Sorry it's late. If you read the questions before this, you'll know that I've decided to stop doing daily updates and try and keep it to 2 or 3 chapters a week, mainly because I was putting a lot of pressure on myself and it was stressful and yeah. So I'm sorry, but now I am more likely to update regularly and I will have more time to make them better quality and a bit longer (possibly) This one is dedicated to Kat'sTheName for asking the most question and to the guest who asked the question "does Rye fall in love again" because that has been on my mind a lot recently. Thank you for asking questions guys! **

**don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x**

After that day, I stopped asking so many questions. I'm back on the thought that perhaps ignorance is bliss, even though I know that to be a lie. The more I learn about Peeta or Rye or the LP or anything really, the more I wish I didn't know. I worry for Peeta's life every time he steps outside. Unfortunately, he's become pretty close with Finnick. I wouldn't be so worried about that if Finnick hadn't told me about how the capitol 'uses' him. I know Finnick would be loyal to his friends, but the closer we get to him, the more potential danger we put ourselves in. I'm guessing I'm the only one he's told.

I think about it in great detail a lot. In fact, even now, as I walk to the house he's moved into down in victors village, I find that it is the subject on my mind. I talk Finnick quite a bit now. I know I said that getting close to him puts us in potential danger, but I am less concerned about myself than the others. The July air is dry and hot on my back, and I am beginning to feel glad that I left Laurel with Olivia and Adrian. She has rather fair skin, which means she's more likely to burn in the sun. I kick a pebble across the dusty ground for a while as I turn into victor's village. Before today, I had never been there. I hadn't even seen it really. It's quite a walk from my mother's house, and seeing as there is nothing else this end of town, I had no reason to walk this way. I push through the gate that cuts it off from the rest of the district and walk along the quiet row of houses. They are all identical, apart from one. Pristine and perfect, as if they were pulled out of fairytales and placed amongst the rubble of hopelessness that I happen to call home. They are about three stories tall and perfectly straight. The bricks are not chipped and the windows are not smashed. They each have a small patch of grass in front of them, with rows of flowers and the occasional tree.

I walk past the first 9 houses, before stopping outside the 10th. This is where Finnick is staying. He called the bakery and insisted I visit him, although I don't know why. I take a deep breath in and pause for a moment to notice how much my hand is shaking as I go to knock on the door. I shake the nervous thoughts away before tightening my fist and slamming it against the hard oak panels. I stand in uncomfortable silence. It's a while before I hear anything, but eventually there are soft footsteps and a click before the door swings open. Finnick stands in a narrow hallway with an expression on his face that I have never seen before. He's wearing a long sleeved grey jumper and jeans. He gives me a smirk before tilting his head ever so slightly to the left.  
"Miss Everdeen," he says – sounding a little more upbeat and playful than he has recently, "come in."

I follow him through the hallway and into a very tidy kitchen.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asks as he throws himself joyfully around a table and towards a perfectly white fridge. He throws it open, revealing an array of beverages in varying cans and bottles and cartons, "I've got everything you could think of, beers, spirits, wines, juices, average water, flavoured water, you name it."

"I… Um," I don't know what to say. To start with, I'm a little amazed at the entire fridge of drinks in front of me, never mind Finnick's liveliness, "I'll have juice…" I manage to spit out after realising how quiet I've been. Finnick smiles at me and pours me a glass of a very vibrant pink liquid. I take a sip, and I'm surprised at its sweetness, however I do not find it unpleasant so I carry on drinking. After a few more sips of the strange pink drink, I look at Finnick, who says nothing. We wait in slightly uneasy silence for a while, as I take some time to try and figure out what, exactly is going on.

I wander what it is that is making Finnick behave so oddly. He's not usually this… alive. Never mind that, he's not usually this well presented. Not this early in the morning anyway. In fact, I've seen him turn up at the bakery at quarter past four in the afternoon and he's still not properly awake. I hope it's good news. I haven't had much good news recently, but judging by my luck, it won't be.

"So Katniss, how are you?" he asks, politely.

"I'm fine…" I reply, a little cautiously. I must appear worried or confused because at this point, Finnick leans over to grab something from behind me, whispering something in my ear as he does so.

"I'll explain everything later, just go with it..." before kissing me. As he pulls away, he takes my now empty glass and places it in the sink. He stands with his back to me now, as I remain silent and try to process what he's just said to me.

"You never mentioned how nice the weather is here in twelve, honey, it really is beautiful this time of year."

"Um, yeah. It can get a bit too hot sometimes, but we enjoy it while it lasts." I take a few paces towards him and slide my arm around his waist. He looks down into my eyes as I open my mouth to speak. "How about we take advantage of the weather and go outside, on a little walk?" I smile softly at him. He picks up on it and we head out.

We walk in silence until we are a while away from Victor's village. However, we keep our conversation in quiet whispers even as we walk further away, scared that someone might hear us.

"So, you want to explain yourself?" I hiss.

"They can hear everything I say in that house. I'm not sure if they can see but that kiss was just in case. Sorry about that."

"Yeah, well you should be. Why act all…" I sigh, "Just because they can hear you?"

"Because I received a letter saying that I am becoming useless. Not only that… but they are worried that I am becoming a threat."

"I'm still lost."

"Look, if they find out that the only reason I'm spending so much time at the bakery is to spend time with clients… well. Then they will not be so worried."

"Worried about what?"

"The LP."

"What do they know?"

"Rye's a member. Don't worry, they don't see him as anything but a minor threat, but my involvement could end up with someone's death, so I need to make sure they don't get the wrong idea."

"That's all they know?"

"Yes. why?"

"N… no reason."

"Uh, ok."

Neither I nor Finnick look at each other until now. Finnick turns to look at me, but I don't look at him.

"Listen, I… I'm sorry I had you play the escort. I just… I couldn't bring Madge into this. You're the only one who would underst-"

"I get it Finnick, don't worry. Just try and stay out of trouble, yes?"

"Right. Yes. Of course." He says. He stops walking and turns around to at me, face to face. "Now, let's get to the real issue here, shall we?" he says, back in a slightly 'grand' tone of voice.

"Huh?"

"You and Peeta. Now what's going on there?" Finnick speaks aloud now, and considering that we are in the town square I feel as if he's safe to.

"I don't know. What do you mean?"

"I mean," He sighs heavily, "that you two have literally said about two words to each other since last week."

"He's a busy person. And so am I. We're both really tired, you know, with work and the baby and everything."

"Oh come off it, Kat. We both know that's a lie. Look, I promised Madge I'd be at her house for lunch, so I've got to dash, but seriously, you make sure that you talk to him, alright?" I nod and he flashes me a quick smile and gives me a hug before dashing of. However he returns in a few seconds.

"I just remembered; please don't tell Madge… about…"

"Oh god, yeah, no Finn. I wouldn't do that. Now go, wouldn't want to be late for lunch, right?" I smile and he runs off again.

As I turn back towards the bakery, realising that I'm also pretty hungry, I am stopped by someone's hand on my shoulder. I turn around to face a man I recognise, but not enough to know who he is.

"Hello?" I say slowly, trying to work out whether or not I should know the man's name.

"Listen. You be careful, sweetheart. I hate to tell you, but your friend there isn't quite who he seems to be."

"Do I know you?"

"No. Just listen to me, be careful what you tell him, alright."

And with that, the man begins to walk away. It bugs me a little that I can't place a name to the face, but I'm now more concerned as to what he means by Finnick not being "quite as he seems." Perplexed and confused, I walk back to the bakery. I was right; my luck isn't changing.

**So there it was guys. The next chapter will be up in a few days, guys. If you read the questions, you would know that I want to get to know you guys, so please do drop me a PM or something. I'd love to chat with some of you. You're all awesome x Thank you for reading!**


	61. Chapter 59

**Ok, so I know this is late and I'm sorry. A few of you know (either because you know me personally or because of PMs) I am not the most mentally stable of people. I have recently been experiencing a bit of a low and therefore was not in the mood or mindset to write. I would like to dedicate this chapter to hungergames316(guest) I apologise for the lateness of this and I promise that I will try and upload more frequently. **

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x**

When I get back to the bakery, everyone is having lunch. I go in and join them, shaking off any thoughts about the mysterious man that appeared to know about Finnick. I take a seat next to Peeta, who immediately wraps one arm around my lower back. I look around the table; everyone's here – other than Madge and Finn. Even Laurel is with us, sitting comfortably on prim's lap. Me and Peeta, Olivia and Adrian, even Micah and Prim are pretty much together now, even if they don't know it. I look over at Rye, who is sitting between Peeta and Micah. I am overwhelmed with quiet empathy for half a second. I know he won't admit it, but he's lonely. Not alone, he'll never be alone as long as he has us, but that can't make up for the fact that he's lonely. No amount of friends will bring Pip back, and that breaks my heart. Still, I shake the thoughts away; I don't want to start crying.

"So, what is the plan for tonight?" Olivia asks, looking at Adrian but directing the question at the group.

"Well, while _you _get to go and have an awkward meal with your family this evening," Adrian teases, "I thought _I _would catch up with mine." Adrian looks at his brothers "Dad's coming to visit."

"For how long?" Rye asks.

"Only tonight. Don't worry, I won't tell him about anything. Pip, Laurel, Katniss, I'm not even going to tell him about Olivia."

"How come?" Olivia questions, seemingly a little upset that her husband is planning on keeping her secret.

"Because if he doesn't already know, it's probably for the best. If he realises that since him and mum left, not only has one of his son's got married, but another has had a child – out of wedlock, I may add – then god knows how he'll take it."

I blush a little when he says that. I'm surprised nobody mentioned it before to be honest. Back in the seam, it's normal for unmarried women to have kids, but a lot of the time that's the result of rape and prostitution. Things are different here. Maybe that's why my mother was so disappointed when I told her. She's looked down upon enough because of where she lives, never mind the fact that she's a widower. Now I've left her, run away with a merchant boy and had a child out of wedlock. I've never really thought about it like that before, but it's true. I've ruined her life just a little bit more.

"And, if dad knows – mum will know. And trust me: Nobody wants that." Rye adds.

"Oh can you imagine," Peeta lets out a sort of worried laugh "if she found out about Laurel. She'd kill me. God knows what she'd do to you." He nods at me, squeezing my waist a little.

The conversation dies down a little and you can tell everybody is now worrying about keeping their secrets away from Mrs Mellark.

"So, uh, what is everyone else doing tonight then?" Adrian says, opening up the conversation once more.

"Well, me and Micah are going home," Prim says.

"As in _home _home?" I ask, "With mum and… with mum?" I stutter

"Yes"

"And she knows about this?"

"Yes"

"And she's ok with it?"

"Yes" Prim waves off every single incredulous statement I offer, until I shut up.

"Ok then," I sigh, a mind blown to say the least, "What are you doing then Rye?"

He looks uneasily at Peeta before turning back to me.

"Peeta and I… are going down to the mines… To get some more coal…"

"Right" Peeta adds awkwardly "We're running low and it'll all be gone by winter"

"It's the middle of Summer, Peet!" Adrian laughs.

I stay quiet as I listen to the spiralling lies that are spilled across the table. Whether they're going to the mines or not, they aren't getting coal. They're planning, scheming and fooling everyone they love.

"So I guess you're not coming to see dad then?"

"No. Sorry. Tell him I say hi." Peeta says, sighing heavily.

I look around the room for a while. I want to cry. All of a sudden I want to tell everyone everything; about Finnick, about Peeta and Rye, about the Capitol… everything. I try and think clearly, but my mind jumbles and I start to feel sick. I try and think of something else. Anything. Whatever will take my mind off of things…

"Hang on a second," I say looking around at everyone, "If Olivia and Madge are having dinner with their family, Adrian's seeing his dad, Prim and Micah are going to see mum and you two are… getting coal… I'm going to be alone!" I say.

"You'll have Laurel" Peeta smirks.

"Yes, Peeta, because my 7 month old daughter can uphold a conversation"

"Oh, I don't know… she's getting pretty good at babbling" he jokes. I push him a little, looking at his face properly for the first time in ages. The gorgeous blue eyes that I fell for the day that he saved my life. The beautiful blonde curls that our daughter has too. He smiles at me, and we share that second. And in that tiny amount of time, I know that things are ok. They weren't before and there is no way of telling whether or not they will be in the future, but we have this. We have now.

"Seriously guys," I say, suddenly remembering that we have company, "what am I going to do. I don't want to be alone here all night."

"You won't be," a voice calls from behind me, "I'll stick around, yeah?" Finnick says, flashing me a smile from the doorway. He and Madge join us around the table, hand in hand. God I wish they weren't so in love with each other. It's not fair on either of them. Or me. Why did Finn have to tell me about… I guess I shouldn't complain. After all, Finnick has helped me out of the occasional difficult situation, and he clearly wants nothing to do with the Capitol. He's just doing his job; protecting the people he loves. Then again, aren't we all?

"Really? Are you sure? Don't feel like you have to."

"Nah, it's fine. I'm just going to sit at home by myself tonight. It's not as if I have any cli…Capitol. I don't have any Capitol officials visiting me."

Nice save. I think to myself.

"Great" I exhale, as quickly as possible. "Right, shouldn't we open up for the afternoon then. Surely Lunch is over?"

I hop up off my feet and lift Laurel up off Prim's lap, and carry her upstairs. I know I'll probably stay there until the bakery is closed and everyone is gone. For the first time in ages, I'm feeling optimistic. Something good is going to happen.

**Once again I am so sorry it is late and I will try and do better next time. Love you all. Please review, I could do with a little cheering up x**


	62. Chapter 60

**Hey guys, so here it is, chapter 60! Oh my god I cannot thank you enough for helping me get this far, seriously I owe you all... a hamster or something, I don't know. Thank you all for your reviews of the last chapter, by the way. They really did cheer me up a bit so thank you. This chapter is a bit longer, very dramatic and I feel like you're all going to hate me for it. I haven't explained it in loads of detail so don't worry if you're a little confused; all will be revealed and feel free to ask me questions about it - whether or not they will be answered is a different story ;) Ok, so this one is dedicated to the guest who started their review with "Hi! I love this story!" thank you so much for being so nice! Your review almost made me cry! Ok, so thanks again and I hope you enjoy it!**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review (I'm looking forward to them!)  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x **

Peeta woke me later that evening. I must have dozed off because when I start to realise where I am, I notice that I'm on the chair in our room, lying in an awkward sideways position.

"Hey" he whispers softly. His voice is hoarse, as if he's just woken up. "I thought I'd come up and say bye before going. I'll be out late, I might not be back until the morning, so goodnight." He gives me a warm smile and goes to kiss me, but I stop him.

"Where _are_ you going?" I ask, we both know that he's not going to get coal. He opens his mouth to speak, but shuts it with a sigh. His lips are almost purple in the low light and the corners turn downwards ever so slightly. We stay in silence for a minor eternity, before he finally whispers something.

"I wish I could tell you."

He begins to pace the room, walking slowly from wall to wall. He does not look at me, but once again he focusses on Laurel. She really is the apple of his eye; the one thing to keep him focussed and calm. I stand up slowly, and make my way towards him. He doesn't notice me until I place a hand on his shoulder, making him turn around and look at me. I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tight.

"Just promise me you'll be safe" I whisper.

"I promise," he whispers back, stroking my hair.

"I love you," I tell him.

"I love you more."

* * *

After Peeta leaves with Rye, Finnick and I are left alone in the bakery. We're both pretty tired, so we decide to just sit, eat and talk. We sit at one of the tables and eat Rabbit with carrots and parsnips. I listen to Finnick as he tells me yet another story about him and Madge.

"...and so then, Madge went and… Kat are you ok?" he asks. I look up to see a very concerned Finnick; his head cocked to the right and his eyebrows crooked.

"Hmm. Oh, I just. Yeah I'm fine" I sigh, giving him a quick smile, "I was just thinking"

"About…" he raises one eyebrow curiously.

"Nothing… everything," I sigh, "Peeta. _You_."

"Ah. I'm not sure I like the sound of that. You wanna tell me exactly what about me it is that's on your mind? My abs perhaps? Or maybe it's just my good looks in general."

"No, as dazzling as your abs may be Finn, it's not them" I laugh

"Oh?"

"It's just… this morning and everything that's happened and-"

"I get it. I should have warned you or told you in advance or something first. Sorry. I shouldn't have just sprung that on you like that."

"No, it's fine. I understand, it's just-"

Before I can say anymore, Adrian burst through the door, out of breath and staggering around like a drunk. He looks completely distraught and looks at me for a few seconds before saying anything.

"Peeta's been arrested."

I don't know what to say, or how to feel. I feel myself falling but look down to see my feet firmly placed on the ground. I look at Finnick and then Adrian.

"Madge and Olivia are already making their way up to the peacekeepers', we need to go Kat."

"What about Laurel?" I stutter.

"I can look after her." Finnick suggests

"No, you have to come with us, " I snap, deciding it's time to take action, "Adrian you need to take Laurel to my mother, if she won't look after her then Prim will. Tell her I'll pick her up in the morning or she'll be told if anything changes."

Adrian nods slowly, still not moving his eyes. They stay fixed on mine and he doesn't move.

"Kat, are you sure you're ok… are you-"

"Shut up and get moving. Finn, we've got to go."

I run towards the station, the same one that freed me from Gale. My feet are heavy as they hit the ground and I have to use my arms to pull myself up as I walk through the doors. Finnick walks in behind me, placing one hand on my shoulder as if to tell me that I need to calm down, which to be fair would be a good thing to say. I look around the room to see Madge and Olivia sitting uncomfortably on old office chairs by the wall. Madge gets up immediately and throws her arms around me. I try not to cry, knowing that if I do, all I will manage is gross sobbing and I don't need that right now. I pull away from the hug and look Madge in the eyes.

"What happened?"

"I don't know" she says, "but whatever it is, it's enough to get my dad's attention."

That's when it dawns on me. He really did get caught. He's been caught up in the Liberation Populi and now he's been done for it.

"Where's Rye?"

"I don't know…" Madge trails off as Adrian steps into the room, followed by some Capitol officials. Everyone stands up properly and faces them, bowing our heads slightly. The last of the Capitol officials shocks us all. The room becomes so silent, you could hear a pin drop.

"I believe you are all here for the same reason I am," President Snow starts, "Where is he?" he addresses the last question to a peacekeeper in the corner of the room.

Moments later, Peeta is brought in, his hands chained behind his back. He looks at me apologetically before facing Snow. Nothing about the situation makes sense. I don't know what to do, and by the looks of it, neither does anyone else.

"Please, take a seat all of you. I have a feeling we may be here for a while." Snow says. We all do as he says, apart from Peeta, who remains standing with his arms behind his back and a peacekeeper at each side.

"Now, let's just get some things straight shall we? You have managed to put yourselves in a very difficult situation. You see, Mr Mellark has been caught and could easily be sentenced to death for political terrorism. Fortunately for him, he has plenty of friends who could do him a favour. However, unfortunately for you, you are those friends. Now, either some of you are willing to do what I say, or Mr Mellark here dies. It's as simple as that, really."

We sit in silence and complete confusion as to what's happening. I knew that Snow was a maniac, but I didn't realise the extremities he would go through.  
"Why only us?" I ask, without thinking, "Why not Prim, Micah, his daughter, his parents? Why us?"

"Oh, is it not obvious. You are the ones that love him the most. Love, my dear, is one of the most dangerous things on the planet. It makes you far too easy to manipulate. And, may I add, I am not in the business of killing a child. I wouldn't dream of killing a seven month old baby. And why would I kill such a pretty thing like Primrose. She'd make a lovely victor, don't you think. The money she'd make in business with Mr Odair."

"Don't you dare," I say before I can stop myself.

"Try and stop me," he smiles, squinting his eyes a little.

"Sorry, am I missing something? Business?" Madge interrupts.

"Oh" snow chuckles, "Did he not tell you? Finnick sleeps around. For money, usually."

I look at Madge and then a Finnick. Madge's face is the vision of disappointment whereas Finnick won't look at her.

"Don't listen to him Magde, Finn…"

"It's true." Finnick interrupts me, "Our relationship was purely casual. Nothing but a fling."

"No… you're lying…" Madge tries to make sense of it all and I can't do anything but watch.

"Oh, he's not. I can show you some very interesting footage of Finnick with Miss Everdeen. Tell me dear, how many times did you sleep in his bed? Because you wouldn't be the only one…" Snow smirks at Madge as the tears roll down her face. I feel sick as I realise that I'm now involved.

"Katniss?" Peeta asks. Snow lets out a laugh, just to let us know that he's getting some sick enjoyment out of it all.

"Peeta it's not true. You've got to believe me."

"Oh? It's not?" Snow adds, "Because like I said, interesting footage. Tell me, Miss Everdeen, who's a better kisser?"

My heart stops. He's got me. Check mate. Game over.

"Peeta, I love you" I whisper, knowing that I will cry if I speak any louder. He grimaces, but says nothing.

Finnick puts his hand on my knee.

"Katniss, give it up. He's got us. If we want our friend to live, we've got to stop the act."

"Huh?"

That's when it clicks. He needs Peeta, to make an example of him; to scare away any other terrorist groups and such. Public killings aren't great for those kinds of things. He needs him to bare a living hell. If I want Peeta to be ok, to be safe, then I need to take his punishment for him.

"I love Katniss Everdeen. And we will do whatever it takes to save Peeta Mellark."

"There we go. Congratulations Finnick, you got there in the end. Now, between you and me, I know that you two aren't in love. I know very well that Miss Undersee is really the one _you _are trying to protect, Finnick. And Miss Everdeen will do whatever it takes to spare Mr Mellarks life. You see, he is involved in a very dangerous terrorist group and needs to be punished for his sins and so on and so forth. You, miss Everdeen have been keeping secrets for everyone as if seems, so it wouldn't be fair to just punish him, now, would it? As for Mr Odair, well the Capitol owns you now and if you don't do this everyone you love will be killed in an instant. Got it?"

I watch as everyone in the room's jaw drops. Not only have we all been tricked, but President Snow said that entire… speech… so effortlessly and heartlessly.

"Oh, and I should probably mention that if any of you who are staying here in 12 were to say anything of this to anyone, then you will be executed. I'm glad that we've got that sorted. Mr Mellark, Miss Everdeen, Finnick, you have tonight to pack and say your goodbyes, there will be… people at victors village tomorrow and the bakery at 6am to make sure you leave on time and," Snow looks and Finnick and me, "in your case, together. I expect you to have stayed the night Miss Everdeen. Is that quite clear?"

I take a deep breath in and look at Peeta, before snapping my head back to face Finnick and Snow.

"Crystal."

**I apologise for and look forward to the violent panic that I may have caused, please send reviews that list either your feelings (or feels) or any questions you may have. Thank you for making the 60th chapter happen, you guys are awesome! **


	63. Chapter 61

**Lovely feedback on the last chapter, sorry it was a bit confusing. This chapter doesn't really explain it much more, but once again - if you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! This chapter is dedicated to Purple sunset beach for inventing the word "bonesaholics" it did get me thinking, though... What do you guys want to be called. If anything. My sister refers to you as Scribblers, but I guess you can decide. What do you prefer, "Bonesaholics" or "Scribblers" Let me know with a review!**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x**

That's it. My life is over. I can't get out of this one; no matter what I do, I lose something… or someone. I find myself suddenly wishing I was back where I was early last year. I wouldn't have met Peeta, I wouldn't have gone to the capitol; I wouldn't be on the radar. I wasn't safe, but at least I had hope.

I sit in silence in my uncomfortable office chair. Nobody says anything. Snow is talking to thread in another room, while we stay here, wandering what to do. One peacekeeper has to stay in the room, and all the doors must be kept locked. There is no way we're getting out of this one. Fortunately, the peacekeeper that is with us, a red-headed tall man called Roman, is just as depressed as the rest of us. He, like us, is sitting uncomfortably in an office chair and staring at his feet. You know that the situation is serious when the Peacekeepers feel sorry for you. I look up to see Peeta; whose handcuffs have been re-adjusted so one arm is linked to the radiator, enabling him to use his stronger arm. I don't notice until he speaks that I've been staring at him.

"Please don't look at me like that." He says. The noise causes everyone to look up, immediately turning to me.

"Like what?"

"Like I've ruined everything. I know I have, but I feel bad enough about it."

"It's not your fault," Finnick says, "We could go on for years trying to decide who's to blame, but there is no point. What's done is done."

"He's right," I sigh, "We can't do anything about it now"

"Wow guys, I've met corpses more optimistic than you" Roman adds. We all look at him in silence, not knowing how to react, "Look, I'm sorry, that was insensitive, but what I'm trying to say is that things can, and probably will get better. I don't know. I'm just saying that your lives aren't over. Not really. People have it worse."

The room is filled with the sound of people breathing. That's it. I don't know why everyone is breathing so loudly, but the sound soon becomes overwhelming and I want to scream. My own breathing becomes faster and faster as I realise what is actually going on. I have to move to the capitol. I have to move to the capitol with Finnick. And act as if I love him. But I don't. I love Peeta, and I have never been surer of that than I am now. I try and stand up but I can't, and suddenly I'm immensely dizzy.

"Kat?" I hear Peeta say from the other side of the room. I can tell he wants to run to me, but he's chained to the wall and therefore can't move more than a few inches. I ignore the dizziness and stand up, stumbling a bit as I try to balance myself. I walk a few paces towards him before falling a bit. He catches me and supports me, pulling me up with his one free arm.

"Oh, easy…" he laughs a little, re-adjusting his arm so that he can keep me up. I place one hand on his chest, burying my head in the nook of his neck.

"I love you," I mumble against the skin of his shoulder, closing my eyes and trying to hold on to every single moment I can with him. The heavy breathing sounds stop and I realise that everyone is talking, Saying their goodbyes. My head stops spinning and I feel more stable, so I turn around and walk to Madge. She opens her arms out to give me a hug, but I think we both know that she is the one that needs it. I stay quiet as she cries silently into my shoulder.

"I promise I'll bring him back to you, Madge. I promise."

"I'm sorry" she splutters, "I'm sorry about everything"

I've got to say, I feel sorry for Madge. Even though she's lived in district 12 all her life, she's always been pretty well off. And now, here she is, standing in a room with nothing but my shoulder to cry on. And even that's not going to be here for very long. Finnick soon see's the state Madge is in and takes her into his own arms, giving me a chance to say my goodbyes. I won't have much time tonight, considering it's already dark out and we have to be up early. I say a quick goodbye to Olivia, who gives me an extra-long hug and tells me that things will be fine. Adrian doesn't hug me, but instead he takes my hand between both of his.

"Can I ask you a favour?" I ask, my voice is shaky and timid.

"Sure"

"Could you look after Laurel for me?" I feel one tear hit my cheek

"Of course" he half smiles, squeezing my hand a bit tighter before letting go completely.

Then there's Peeta. He stands as far from the wall he can before we hug each other, neither one of us wanting to let go. I begin to sob and I feel his grip around my back get tighter and tighter as I start to cry more aggressively. He tenses up and I feel him resisting the urge to cry. I stop bawling and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. I look at him for a few seconds. And I mean, I _really _look at him; taking in every aspect of his face.

"I'm sorry," He whispers, almost in painfully, "I'm so sorry"

"It's not your fault"

"I should have listened to you. I… I just…should have listened." Peeta's voice begins to sounds angry, but returns to his normal, soft tone. "This might be the last time I ever speak to you"

"No, don't say that. I'm going to sort something out. We're going to get out of this. You've been so strong until now. Just do me more miracle: Don't die. Don't be dead. Please."

"I'll try," he whispers, pushing my hair behind my ear with his one free hand, before tracing the faint scar on my jawline with his finger. He rests his forehead against mine.

"Just promise me you'll be safe" he says, imitating what I said to him before he left.

"I promise"

"I love you"

"I love you more," I whisper.

That's when I hear the door click open and two new peacekeepers approach us. They unchain Peeta and take him by each arm, pulling him up so he stands straighter than his spine will allow. I can't bring myself to say anything. I haven't turned around, so I do not know for sure, but I'm pretty certain that Snow is behind me, and I know not to cause a scene. I look at Peeta as he is dragged away, into a room somewhere in the back of the building. He mouths the word "goodbye" and can't bring myself to respond, so instead I just stare at him; tears threatening to spill over the boundaries of my waterlines.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I know its Finnick. I turn and face him, nodding only slightly as he tells me it's time to go. I force myself to show no emotion as we step outside of the room, knowing that all eyes are on us, including the somewhat snake green ones that are embezzled into Snows aged and sickening face.

"Put on a nice show, Miss Everdeen" he calls from behind us.

I stop for a second, turning around to face him. I smile at him, before turning to Finnick. I take his head in my hands and kiss him; if I'm going to do this at all, I might as well do it properly. Finnick kisses me back, and after a second, I turn back to snow.

"Oh. I intend to."

**It's a bit short, but hey ho. I will say that the next dedication will go to somebody who tells me their favourite quote/moment from the story so far. Don't forget to let me know where you stand on the whole bonesaholics/scribblers thing. Will write soon! x**


	64. Chapter 62

**Ok, here it is guys. Chapter 62. I hope you enjoy it. As for the debate on the whole "Bonesaholics" vs "Scribblers" thing, I'm undecided. It was pointed out to me that "Scribblers" is a more general term, so therefore it makes sense for those of you that have read my other fics, but anyway. Let me know your preferences. I also need to ask - If I were to set up a Tumblog/Tumblr account for my fanfictions, that I posted updates (and videos?) on and let you guys ask me questions, would you be interested in it and check it out? It's just an idea, so tell me what you think in the reviews! This 'uns dedicated to Twillow, because that is one of my favourite quotes too! **

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA  
MadcapScribbler x **

Adrian helped me pack my stuff. We did it quickly, with the knowledge that I am to sleep in victor's village with Finnick, and will need a lot of sleep, so I have no time to waste. I fold various items of clothes whilst talking to Adrian about the situation in a little more detail. There is something about Peeta's brothers, something that makes them easy to talk to; sometimes they're easier to talk to than Peeta.

"Thank you for not telling me that everything's going to be ok," I say as I shove a shirt into my bag.

"There was no point; we both know that it's not," he says, handing me a pair of trousers.

"Exactly," I sigh as I fold the trousers slowly. I look up at him, stopping everything for a second, "I don't want to do this."

"I know. Quite frankly I wish I could do it for you, but I honestly do know how you're going to get out of this one, Kat."

"Maybe I won't, that's the problem."

I'm surprised at how frank I am being. There is no emotion in either of our voices, and we are discussing the issue as if it were as trivial a topic as

"what's for dinner?"

"Where's Rye?" I ask him.

"How am I supposed to know, I had no idea about any of this until just a second ago. I swear to god if I see him…"

"Please don't be hard on him. Not for my sake anyway. He's been through a lot, and right now – I might face a similar situation so just… Take it easy."

"Ok," he sighs, "It's a good thing Dad had to leave early"

"Oh yeah, how did that go?" I ask, not really expecting an answer.

"I don't remember. I don't know if you noticed, but it's not necessarily the most memorable thing to happen today."

"Good point." I sigh.

I sit on the edge of the bed and look at the few bags I have, filled with every single one of my personal belongings. I have so little, yet the capitol has still managed to take things away from me. My limited freedom being one thing that I treasured so dearly has now been ripped to shreds in front of my very eyes. I sigh before burying my head in my hands. I want to cry, but I know that I can't. I know that Adrian will try and comfort me if I stay like this for too long, so I pull myself together and jump to my feet, forcing a smile.

"You know what? I'm not going to turn this into a big thing; or, bigger than it is anyway. I can't change it, what's done is done and I'm just going to have to deal with it!" I say with false defiance.

I mean what I say, I just… don't want to believe it all yet. Adrian and I share a quick hug; before I grab my bags (and old knapsack full of clothes, and an old hunting bag full of a few personal belongings) I know that tonight is going to be absolute hell. Finnick is waiting downstairs, with Madge probably. Olivia is looking after Laurel at theirs, and Adrian is going to take her stuff over tomorrow morning. Not that she has much "stuff" a few clothes and even less toys. Peeta will stay overnight in one of the District's prison cells before being before getting onto a train at god knows what time. It'll be before us, I suspect. I pull the knapsack onto my shoulders and begin to walk out of the room. I stop at the doorway and turn back to Adrian.

"Don't tell her. About what's happened to us... I don't want her to know; she so young, so naïve and hopeful. I know that hope makes you a fool, but that makes her a beautiful fool and there's nothing I want more, than for her to remain a fool. For as long as she can."

Adrian nods slowly and stands still as he watches me leave. I walk down the stairs and into the bakery.

* * *

Nobody is there, apart from Finnick. He's sitting right in the corner of the room, with his legs pulled into his chest and tucked under his chin.

"Where's Madge?" I ask gingerly, standing in the doorway, making no move to comfort him.

"I told her to go home" he sighs as he jumps to his feet. We're in the same boat, but it's only just occurred to me that Finnick's been sailing his entire life. Before coming here, he didn't know freedom, and now that he does – it's going to be harder to go back. He kicks a crumb of bread across the floor a bit, not looking at me. He's just trying to cling onto time.

"Hey. We'll get back to them. Peeta, Madge… everyone. We're going to get back to them."

"I know. I just can't seem to find the strength to leave them in the first place." He says, grabbing his jacket and wrapping his arm around my lower back, like Peeta does. I want to flinch away but then I remember where I am and what I'm doing.

We walk to Victor's Village in silence. The District seems deathly quiet and, as we walk through the town square, I start to think about my mother. How did she take it when Olivia showed up at her house in the middle of the night to take Laurel away? Laurel. I never even got to say goodbye. It's probably for the best. If she forgets me now, she won't be upset if and when I die. My thoughts are interrupted by the sight of a man, talking to a peacekeeper. It's the man that warned be about Finnick. He's too far away to actually hear, but you can tell that he's angry. He's shouting at the peacekeeper, but the peacekeeper is doing nothing about it. That's when he sees me. We stare at each other for a moment or two and he just shakes his head at me. I can't tell why, whether it's disappointment or sympathy. I don't care either way.

The lights are all of when we get into Finnick's house, and he fumbles against the wall until he finds a light switch. The building is then illuminated with strange synthetic yellow lights; my eyes take a while to adjust, but eventually I find my way around. I follow Finn into the kitchen, like I did the last time I was here. There's a note on the table, folded in an envelope with the Capitol Seal on the back. He picks it up, pulls it angrily out of the envelope and reads it aloud, if a little begrudgingly.

"Good evening to you both. I expect that by now you have packed and said your goodbyes. You should understand that you are to follow my orders from now on. We wouldn't want anything bad to happen to Mr Mellark would we? And I'm sure you'd both do equally as much for Miss Undersee. There will be peacekeepers ready to collect you at 6am tomorrow. Do not keep them waiting. Mr Mellark will be escorted at another time, from the bakery. However he is staying in a cell tonight. There is to be no contact with him or either of your friends or family from now on. I hope I have made myself clear. Congratulations to you both; you're still alive.

President C. Snow"

Finnick throws the letter on the ground and steps on it. He then begins to run at things, braking and smashing anything within reach. I don't know what to do so I panic and restrain him, pulling him away from the pile of broken shards that now sit on the kitchen floor.

We sit on the floor in the kitchen all night. He keeps his arms wrapped around me for hours.

I think I just watched Finnick snap.

**Rightio, let me know what you thought of the chapter, your thoughts on a tumblog and where you stand on the fan name! Love you all, thanks for reading! x**


	65. Chapter 63

**Ok, sorry it's taken a little while guys. This one was kind of fun to write, so I hope you enjoy it. Also, I'm setting up a tumblr for my fanfics, so if you want to check it out it is: "scribbler - things . tumbler .com" - Without the spaces and speech marks of course. Would love it if you could check it out and suggest what I should put on it. Would you be interested in texts posts about where I am with the story or maybe videos or the playlists I listen to when writing. I don't know, let me know! This one is dedicated to sparklestar because I love it when you guys just randomly unload all of your thoughts like that, it's great! **

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At about four in the morning, Finnick lets go. We remain on the kitchen floor, but he is now sitting opposite me, with his legs tucked close to his chest, a position he seems to have adopted as his own recently. He stares at me for a little while; not moving, just looking. I want to say something, do something; anything, but I can't. We're both stuck here, forced into a lifestyle we haven't chosen.

"Right" he beams, "there is going to be a couple of well dressed, uneducated, over-privileged capitol puppets at the door in a few hours, so we don't have long to come up with a game plan."

I have to say, I'm a little surprised at Finn's sudden mood change. Well, that and the fact he's openly defying the capitol in a house he know is bugged. I stare at him for a moment, confused by the mere prospect of having a game plan, never mind talking about said plan out loud.

"Finn…" I whisper, "Are you sure we should be talking about-"

"it's ok," he smiles as he jumps to his feet, "no camera's. I broke 'em."

"You mean… last night was all a joke?" I say, feeling a little betrayed if I'm going to be honest.

"No. It was a stupid thing for me to do, but I realised a few hours ago that there is one on the floor and one hanging from behind the cupboard over there." I look to where he's pointing and true enough, there is a very tiny, smashed camera dangling on one last wire in front of the cupboard.

"How do you know there aren't any more?" I ask him a little louder, with more confidence now.

"Because I know the capitol; they don't like to spend money when it's not needed," Finn says, closing the kitchen door defiantly, "And anyway, we've got to take some risks, right?"

I nod in agreement and pull myself up of the ground. Finnick starts rummaging through various cupboards as I take a seat on one of the only stools that remains upright.

"You hungry?" he asks. I shake my head slightly and stare at my hands in my lap. I look up and watch as Finnick proceeds to grab half a melon from the fridge and begins to eat it with a spoon. He chews slowly and looks up at the ceiling slightly, deep in thought. He sighs and swallows before opening his mouth to talk.

"You've been to the capitol before…" he trails off.

"Yeah." I nod.

"So you know what the people are like," I nod and let him continue, "They're animals. We're going to have to play this right, or it won't just be the capitol we have to worry about."

"So what's the plan?" I ask cautiously.

"Well. We act in love, obviously; keep everyone happy but ourselves."

"And then what?"

"We use our secret weapon." Finn says deviously, flashing me a quick smile. I look at him, completely oblivious to what he means. He rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically, "_Cinna" _He emphasises, "As far as the capitol is concerned, he is just my stylist, and yours now, as well. He will be able to do all of our spy work for us and not seem suspicious. It's perfect."

I jump to my feet as soon as he finishes speaking, taking a few quick steps towards him.

"Are you serious?" I ask; my words all jumbling together as if they were one.

"Yes, I'm serious" Finnick laughs.

"Finnick… Oh my god I could kiss you right now!" I shriek as I jump into a hug and he spins me round.

"You might want to save it for the cameras," he smiles as he drops me back onto the ground, "Now why don't you go and get dressed, they'll be here soon."

After making my way upstairs, I quickly pull on a forest green summer dress. Peeta bought it for me a few months after laurel was born because all of my clothes were too big or too hot. He must have scrimped and saved a lot, because I've never owned something so beautiful in my life. He told me that he thought the colour would remind me of the trees in the forest, and therefore of my father. My father isn't on my mind anymore. I will never forget him but, at the moment, thinking of anyone other than Peeta seems unthinkable. I am aware that it may be hypocritical of me to say such a think after having told Finnick that I could kiss him, but that's different.

I make my way down the stairs and back to the kitchen, where I find Finnick pacing up and down amongst the broken crockery. He doesn't notice me when I walk through the door, and if he does – he doesn't acknowledge me. I cough slightly to get his attention. He cocks his head upwards to see me.

"You ok?" I ask

"They won't know." He says as he continues to pace. I look at him in a state of confusion and wait for him to elaborate. When I don't say anything for a while, he finally gets it and stops pacing.

"The people… uh, the…" he points at the door and searches for words that don't find his mouth.

"The capitol officials?" I suggest.

"Right," he nods, "them. They won't know that it's a set up. Snow's playing a trick on us, I know it."

"How do you know?"

"Because, he wants to make it difficult; to trip us up as soon as possible. What's sooner than the very beginning? We're going to have to put on a show from the first second."

Almost as if it were perfectly timed, there is a knock at the door. Both of our heads shoot up instantly and stare at the door, like a pair of rabbits in the firing line. Finnick looks at me and presses a finger to his lips for a second before giving me a reassuring look.

"Babe!" he shouts, unexpectedly, "Could you get that?!"

I shoot him a look of "what the hell are you doing" and in reply he ruffles up my hair and winks at me. I sigh and walk to the door, opening it slowly and a little cautiously.

"Hi" I say in the most casual voice that I can fake at this time.

"Miss Everdeen?" One of the two men in white asks. I nod.

"That's me" I say with a small smile, "would you like to come in?"

"If that is alright with you? We are early than expected."

"That's fine" I say turning around and walking back to the kitchen, making sure that they follow me there. I was beginning to relax a bit until I saw Finnick.

He is standing in the kitchen with his shirt of, hair ruffled and his classic smirk plastered on his face. He winks at me again before the two capitol men walk through the door. He turns around as if he is trying to find his shirt and talk with his back to me.

"Who is it honey?" He half-shouts, as if he isn't aware that I'm in the room. I tap him on the back and he turns to face us. He smiles at the capitol men before wrapping his arm around my waist and kissing my forehead. He looks back at the men in white.

"Morning Gentlemen," he nods, "How are you? Can I get you a drink?"

"No thank you, Mr Odair. We're just here to make sure you are escorted safely to your train."

"Ah. Alright then, make yourself at home. Sorry about the mess…" he looks at me and puts on what can only be described as a slightly sexy grin, "…it's, uh, a long story. We'll be ready in just a second." The men nod and take a seat before Finn adds, "I just need to find my shirt." He then leans in a little closer to me and whispers just loud enough for everyone to hear "I do wish you wouldn't rip them off me quite so hastily, darling." I blush slightly and then realise that two can play at that game.

"Well, sometimes I can't help myself…" I smirk as I walk off towards the door.

"Kat, where are you going?" He calls a little confused.

"To find you a shirt," I say, pausing just a little before adding one more thing, "And to find me some underwear."

As I walk upstairs to get my bags - and Finnick a shirt- I find myself smirking. I think about how dreadful everything is going to be from now on; I will constantly be in fear for Peeta's life, never mind my own. Yet here I am, smirking and giggling to myself. The awful truth is: I don't mind wherever I go as long as I'm in good company and everyone is safe. I know my mind-set will change by the end of the day, but for now – I'm ok. I'm ok and I will try my hardest to make sure Peeta is, if not for me, then for Laurel. And Adrian and Rye and their parents and everyone. I will be ok for them.

**Ok, that's it guys! Remember to check out the tumblog! I will love you forever! Let me know what you want to see on it! xx**


	66. Chapter 64

**Ok, so it's been a while. Sorry about that... I kind of got caught up in the end of school affairs, and well. That meant writing was not prioritised. Anywho, It is now officially the summer holidays. yes, that's right. That means until September, I am free to write as much as I like! Wooo. Ok, so this one is less speech based than some of the others but other than that, I really enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoy reading it, this one is dedicated to Taylor502001 because although it was only a sentence, that sentence made such a difference to my day - my week even. I owe you guys all so much. Thanks for keeping me smiling :) I love you all!**

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I was right. Just a few short hours later and I am in an awful mood. Having been pushed onto a train and ushered quickly to the capitol, Finnick and I were almost instantly escorted to a very tall building which, as I was soon informed, we would be staying in. Fortunately, there were no capitol citizens around upon our arrival, and we are not required to venture out into the open until tomorrow morning, but we both know that we will have to get used to unwanted attention. Me especially.

I can't help but hate myself when we walk into the hotel room. The single room that I walk into is one of many, but this room alone is bigger than any house in 12. I feel uneasy. Guilty, even; this is supposed to be a punishment and here I am, being treated like royalty. Maybe that is my punishment. Guilt.

There is note on the table, so Finnick picks it up and reads it aloud, in a voice that mocks and almost perfectly captures Snow's sickly tone:

"Good evening to the both of you. I trust that your journey was comfortable and your accommodation is to your liking. Over the next few weeks, you will become known to your adoring public through various events and media related appearances. This will start this evening, when the two of you will spend some time on the balcony together. The press will be alerted of Mr Odair's "mystery woman" and there will be various photographers taking unsuspecting photos of the two of you. Unsuspected being the key word, keep that in mind. A similar event will take place tomorrow morning when the two of you will be seen by photographers. These photos will be taken from across the street, in the neighbouring hotel. So make sure they have a good view."

Finnick sighs and looks at me. I'm sitting sideways in a chair, with my legs dangling over the arm.

"Well this is great," I exhale.

"There's more" he groans… lifting the paper up to his eyes once more before continuing to read in his normal voice this time.

"I will point out to the two of you that all of your furniture, however comfortable, is not suitable for sleeping on. There is one bed that the two of you shall share, and I will be making sure that you do. I trust that you will not disobey these orders. I will allow you, Miss Everdeen, to visit Mr Mellark every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, at 7.00pm. There will be someone ready to collect you from your room at this time on these days. Attendance is mandatory if you wish for these sessions to continue. Miss one of these sessions for any reason other than publicity events that I have scheduled or suggested you attend, and you will not be allowed to see him again. In other words, show up or say goodbye. As for you, Mr Odair, it is unlikely that you will see Ms Undersee again, unless she makes a visit to the capitol and arranges a meeting through me. I'm glad that this is sorted. You will receive another one of these letters tomorrow morning. I look forward to the headlines – President C. Snow."

Finnick turns away and drops the letter. He turns his back on me and faces the wall, which is almost entirely made of glass; this building was designed for puppets like us. I can bet that the room is rigged with cameras and microphones too, watching our every move. I feel awful. Once again, I am guilty. I have the choice to see Peeta three times a week, therefore securing something in my mind, telling myself that he's alive. But I need to seriously decide whether or not to take the opportunity, for if I do, I will be the most selfish person alive. I am faced by a man who has never been given that option, yet deserves it so much more than me.

"Finnick…"

"No. Katniss," he interrupts, still refusing to turn my way, "Don't say anything. I know what you're thinking and it's stupid. You will visit Peeta on those days at that time, no further discussion. We need to stop thinking with our emotions and become like this wall." He turns to me, keeping a hand on the glass. "Almost completely transparent. What we can feel and see, so can they now. Nothing is private, unless snow wants it to be. Do you understand?"

I nod a little. I do understand. I understand it all. Yet I'm still so confused.

Later that evening, Finnick and I did as we were told and went up to the balcony. It was warm, and the sunset lasted forever, so we stayed out deep into the hours of the night, eating, laughing, talking… kissing, occasionally. Then, like the letter said, we went to bed. In the same bed.

When I woke up this morning, Finnick is sitting cross-legged on the bed next to me, holding the alarm clock.

"It's just gone seven o'clock," he whispers, "photographer's favourite time."

"Huh?" I ask, a little confused, considering I just woke up.

"The photographers from last night will have taken their photos and then seen us go back inside together. They assume we came back here and had sex. So, what did they do? They checked themselves in at the hotel across the street, with a perfect view of our room, ready for just-gone-seven, when we will be waking up and getting breakfast," he explains.

"How do you know so much?" I ask, a little more alert now.

"I'm kind of an expert when it comes to mystery women," he yawns, "now. Put on my shirt" he says, unbuttoning his shirt and standing up. He takes off his belt as well, so that his trousers hang a little low around his waist. I put on his shirt as he messes up my hair even more.

"There," he says, somewhat proudly, "you look more like you've had sex with me than some of the girls that have had sex with me." And with that he strides of out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen, which – coincidentally – is situated right next to the glass wall, with a perfect view of the opposite hotel.

"When I say to," he says without looking at me, pretending to be busy making coffee, "I want you to come over here and kiss me, ok? And make it sexy. Remember who it's for."  
I nod and think about what he said. "Remember who it's for" He means the photographers, but it's not just for them. Everything I do know, it's for Peeta. For Peeta and Laurel.

"Right, Kitty Kat, now." He says, looking up at me. I walk to him, taking small steps as if I've just woken up. I wrap my arms around his now bare waist and kiss him. Closing my eyes and imagining it's not him. I kiss and imagine my blue eyed boy and when I open my eyes, smiling, I'm almost a little shocked that it's not Peeta in front of me. Finnick smirks a little.

"Nice one, Kat. Reckon they got a good photo?" he whispers.

"Yes," I utter, "I reckon they did."

**Please review guys, could use a little motivation. Love you all, new chapter up soon x**


	67. Chapter 65

**So it was lovely to get some nice feedback from you all after my little break from writing (God I missed it) Here's another chapter for you all! I will dedicate this lovely chapter to Fanfictionlover500, for your motivational review! Woop woop! I will also say that I re-wrote this quite a few times, which was odd, but I just felt like it needed to be great for you guys, so I hope you like it! **

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Later that morning, whilst Finn and I are eating breakfast, there is a knock at the door. Finnick gets up to answer it, pulling the door open to reveal a small girl carrying a tray.

"Good morning" Finn smiles at her. She doesn't look over 17, with the most naturally beautiful orange hair tousled and hung over one shoulder, with big round eyes in a soft green. She gives us both a small smile before looking down at the tray. She extends her arms, offering the tray to him. He takes it, places it on the table and returns to the door.

"Thank you" he nods, rather sincerely. The girl nods courteously back before walking away. Finn sighs as he returns to the table, flicking through the contents of the tray. Various newspapers lie scattered over it, all with headlines such as "Finn's New Catch" or something equally as fisherman related and cheesy, all with the same picture on the front cover; a single photo of Finnick and I, standing by the window and kissing. Sure enough, they got a great picture. Amongst the papers, there are two envelopes, one for each of us. They have the presidential emblem on them, so we open them regretfully and read them in silence.

They do not have any sickening messages from Snow in them, but they are our schedules for the day and by the looks of things, it's going to be long and tiring. I yawn as I get up from the table to go and take a shower.

Once I am clean and dressed, there is a knock at the door. This time it two men dressed in suits, here to escort us to our car. I'd never been in a car until yesterday and, I think it's safe to say, I prefer walking. There's something about how smooth the journey seems that just doesn't feel natural. It's like walking on ice, it's so smooth and there are no bumps on the road, yet you still think you're going to fall over – only, in a car, you don't. Anyway, I try my best not to show any discomfort during the ride, as Finnick is already looking at me, a seemingly little concerned. I look at him and give him a small smile to reassure him, before taking his hand and holding it tight; I could use a bit of reassurance too, besides, we're being watched 24/7 and we decided to keep up the act whenever told to and whenever we leave the apartment – just to be safe.

* * *

When the car stops, Finnick and I are ushered to our destinations. Finnick disappears off with one of the men, whilst the remaining one guides me down various corridors and hallways until I am outside Snow's office.

"Wait here," he says. For a Capitol man, he doesn't have much of a "Capitol Accent" Not like some of the other people I've met. Then again, I find that if a person travels a lot, their accent fades. I do as I'm told, and wait in a chair outside the door. I take a few seconds to observe my surroundings. Formal and uncomfortable, just like Snow. I notice that everything is white and red, if not a natural mahogany. There's a faint scent in the air, but I can't place my finger on it. Anyway, before I get the chance to figure it out, the door swings open and Snow appears.

"Miss Everdeen. Care to join me?" he asks rhetorically. I do not respond, I just follow him into his office.

"Take a seat, please. I think it is for the best if we can be comfortable in each other's company, don't you?"

"Yes," I say as I sit down, which is ironic as not only is the chair too comfortable to be enjoyed, but there is no way on earth that I would ever say that I was 'comfortable' when in Snow's presence.

"Now, Miss Everdeen. I will start by congratulating you on your performance last night. You and Mr Odair seem to be getting used to your… little situation, rather quickly." He says. For a man so keen on comfort, he sure does pace a lot.

"However, I am scared that when confronted with people who are not aware of your current circumstance, you may fail to impress."

"Oh, on the contrary sir. Finnick seems to be more than experienced when it comes to lying about, and to, his lovers. I would have expected you of all people to know that"

"Yes," Snow stops pacing, "quite. Miss Everdeen, whilst I admire your loyalty to those that you are acquainted with, I would like to remind you that it is not only your head on the line. If you really respect your friends, I would learn to keep your mouth shut when necessary."

I close my mouth and grit my teeth. I'm going to need to learn to put up with threats like this, but something inside me constantly wants to fight. Fight snow, fight the society, fight everyone. Technically there is nothing stopping me from standing up and walking out of the door. Or punching snow in the face. Or killing him straight out. _Technically_. In reality of course, everything is stopping me from doing that.

"I will cut to the chase, Miss Everdeen," Snow says, somewhat more impatiently as he sits in his chair and places his elbows on the desk. He leans further forward and waits for me to express some form of further interest. I sit upright and wait for him to continue talking. "From now on, you will live your life here, with Mr Odair. Tonight, you will do an interview with Caesar Flickerman, in which you will have to convince the nation of your love for each other. May I suggest that you do so as quickly and effectively as you can, because the quicker you get the groundwork in, the easier it will be to progress from this point. Every aspect of your relationship will be public; anything of your previous life is not to be spoken of, unless discussed between you and him, myself, your stylist and publicity rep or Mr Mellark in the strictest confidence. Any mention of it to anyone else is strictly forbidden and will result badly. I trust you understand that every move you make has consequences now and you have a lot of people depending on you to make sure that they are good consequences. I would try my best not to let them down if I were you. Do you understand what I am saying, Miss Everdeen?"

"Yes." I say, trying my best not to let the fear show in my voice.

"Well then," he starts, standing up and extending his arm out to me. I stand up and shake it slightly, "Let the games begin."

Once I'm out of the office, I join Finnick back in the waiting area. He stands up and rests on the balls of his feet. He's had a similar pep talk; it's obvious in his face. The panic, the fighting back of tears, the slight jitter in his breathing as he looks at me. Snow said something, something about Madge, I know it. We stand and stare at each other for a while. Eventually the walls and chairs and hideous décor fade away, and all that's left is Finnick and Me, just the two of us, just standing and breathing. Slow, long breaths that make me feel guilty again, guilty because I'm still breathing and standing here and I know that tonight, I will be fed more than they will in a week and it's awful.

Finn offers me his hand, and I find myself entwining my fingers in his.

"Shall we?" He asks, putting on a painfully fake smile. I match his painted expression and nod.

"Yes." I smile and off we walked, down the hall.

**Aw, sorry that not a lot happens, there will be more drama in upcoming chapters so just be patient and the drama will be here before you know it! I would love to have some reviews with any conspiracies or thoughts on how things will go from here. You guys are all so creative so I expect to open my emails to loads of crazy schemes and ideas of what you think I have planned. The more detailed the better!** Love you bye x


	68. Chapter 66

**Ok, so I'm back again - and earlier than I expected. Not loads happens in this one, but I needed one with emotion and stuff, and I needed to introduce the new(ish) character, so I hope you like it. More will be happening in the next few chapters I promise. Anywho I hope you like it. This 'uns dedicated to Aisling Sophie Hale Whitlock, because the review made me laugh, and that is a cool name! **

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Once we arrive at the Grand Hall, we are greeted by two familiar faces. The first face is one that I am delighted to see. Cinna. He gives me a small, reassuring smile and hug as I enter the room, before saying hello to Finnick. The other, however, is one I'd forgotten about. He stands next to Cinna, slouching a little and saying nothing. He's wearing a pair of plain black trousers and a blue and black blazer. He holds a glass of amber liquor in his left hand and takes a swig before offering his right hand to me. I don't shake it though; I just stare at it, a little confused to say the least.

"I'm not gonna bite, sweetheart," he sighs, his words slurring a little.

"Who are you?" I stutter, still refusing to shake his hand.

"Haymitch Abernathy; your publicity rep." he says, holding his hand out more defiantly. I grit my teeth and shake it, followed by Finn who is completely confused at my attitude towards our new publicity representative.

"Hi," Finn says before opening up a more general question, "So what are we going to do?" he asks, desperately trying not to let things get awkward.

"Well, today… Haymitch and I are going to get you ready for your first interview. Help you make an impression. But, generally, we are going to teach you how to act, dance, interact with people in the capitol and basically everything you will need to know to survive."

"Right, ok." Finnick says, somewhat more confident than he was five minutes ago.

"We have plenty of time to sort everything else today," Cinna tells us, "So, Finnick you'll come with me, and Kat you'll stay here with Haymitch."

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping that Cinna didn't say that. I'd also be lying if I said I didn't seriously consider asking Finnick if we could swap, but then I realised that I am a grown woman. I have a child, for goodness sake. And most importantly, I am going to have to put up with a lot of people that I don't like, and still keep smiling and staying "in role" so to speak.

Once Finn and Cinna have left, the hall is silent for at least 10 minutes. It's Haymitch that is the first to speak.

"We're wasting time…"

"Well you're the teacher," I argue, "So teach."

"Ok, rule one. You're going to have to be less hostile."

"Hostile?!" I exclaim, "I am not hostile!" Haymitch raises an eyebrow, as if to say 'point proven'

"Fine." I sigh, "So what are we going to do."

"Well. I have to teach you how to deal with people. And how to ace this interview," he explains as he grabs two chairs and places one of them in front of me.

"Ok," I sigh. Still a bit reluctant to learn something from a man that's notorious for being a drunk.

"Actually, kid, you know what, move that chair out of the way!" he says, suddenly energetic.

"Um, what?" I ask. Haymitch pushes both the chairs back to where he got them from and looks at me for a few seconds.

"You know how to dance?" I stare at him, very confused and clearly showing it. "Like… ballroom dancing."

"Uh, yeah..?" I say, not sure whether I'm telling him or asking him.

"Good. Dance with me," he holds a hand out and waits for me to take it. I do, hesitantly and in a few minutes, we're dancing like Peeta and I did at Olivia and Adrian's wedding.

* * *

"You want to ask me something, sweetheart?" he asks, whilst we dance.

"Why are we dancing?" I ask, bluntly.

"Practice. Everyone here loves dancing. Get used to it." He says, as bluntly as I did.  
"Right," I sigh.

We continue dancing in silence for a while, continuing to move in slow, continuous steps around the hall. I have so many questions that I am too stubborn to ask. I must show this in my face or something, because before I know it, we've stopped completely. Haymitch just stares at me, as if he's awaiting my questions. I decide that losing one friend wouldn't be so bad, and my curiosity gets the better of me.

"What did you mean, "not quite as he seems"?" I ask, referring to the first time I met him. Haymitch raises an eyebrow again, as if the answer is obvious. He half-cough-half-sighs before saying anything.

"Look around you, look where you are, sweetheart, the situation that you're in. I just told you to be careful around him."

"No, you told me to be careful of what I tell him."

"Yes, and did he or did he not tell you that the real reason that he came into your lives was to spy." He snaps. I bite my tongue, not wanting to acknowledge the truth in what he says.

"You _knew. _You knew and you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't know you."

"Then why say anything at all?"

"Because I mistook you for someone intelligent. Look, forget the past. If you want to survive, if you want your boy to survive, then forget it. Be yourself without being yourself, got it? You have to come across as the most natural and likeable person if this plan is going to work," he hisses before going very quiet, "Cinna and I are trying our best to help you two out of this, to save loverboy and to make sure that you go back home to your daughter, so if I were you, I would try and be nice."

I'm stunned into silence. I take in every aspect of his face. I know he's not that old, but you wouldn't know it from looks alone. His eyes are sunken and his skin is rough and worn out. He shakes constantly and it isn't just the alcohol. He's a victor, he's done the games. He beat the system. So why is he trying so hard to help me beat it too? Why does he care so much?

"How… how did you know. About Laurel?"

"I know everything about your life, because it's written down in a file in an office in this building. Along with every other person's life; nothing but a story in the eyes of Snow – and right now, you're not his favourite character, so I would do my best, if I were you sweetheart, not to piss him off."

Taken aback by the information Haymitch has given me, I remain quiet and responsive for the rest of our session. In fact, I'm still pretty reserved when I go to my fitting with Cinna. We don't talk much for the majority of it, and even when Finnick and I both have to do a mock interview and work on our acting, I stay pretty quiet.

When we get back to the apartment, we have two hours before we will be taken to the television studio, so we just sort of sit around. Finnick put the TV on, but neither of us are really watching.

"Finnick…" I start, having stared at him for the last five minutes. He looks at me and flashes me a smile, as if to ask "what's up?"

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" He asks, cheerful as ever.

"You… look sad, when you think I can't see you. Like you know something bad is going to happen. And then I'm here and all of a sudden you're smiling like an idiot and you're generally happy again, until you think I'm looking away. Your face just drops and your eyes stop shining and it's like you're a different person."

"Kat, I…"

"No. Never mind. I'm just being stupid, sorry. I just… don't worry about it," I sigh.

After that, the conversation stops. That is, until Finnick turns the TV off and comes to sit next to me.

"I'm fine, Kat. I really am. I just need some time to get used to everything. I promise you, I'm ok." He tells me.

Only I know he's not. I know that right now, he is more broken than me. And there is nothing I can do about it. I just wish that I could take all of the pain and suffering away from him, so that smile would be genuine again, but the worst thing is, that I know he's thinking the same about me.

**Ok, so it'd be super helpful if you guys could give me some feedback on the kind of stuff that you like - for example do you like angst/romance/whatever and if you think something should happen in the story then please do let me know, because I'm a little stuck for ideas and love hearing from you guys. So if you just left me a review or PM or something just letting me know, that'd be great. Love you bye. **


	69. Chapter 67

**Ok, so I went a little crazy and wrote 2 chapters today, so here's the first one. The next one may or may not feature a certain Mr Mellark... Anyhow this one is dedicated to the guest that usually reads post mockingjay stories, it's lovely that I'm the one to break the rule :3 Love you all and hope you enjoy the chapter (and the next one!)**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
DFTBA  
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When we arrive at the television studio we're immediately ushered to backstage wing B, where we are shown to our dressing rooms. Finn goes one way, showed to his room by one of Cinna's assistants, and I follow Cinna into my own dressing room.

"This may be a little different to anything you've ever worn before, but trust me, it'll help you make an impression." He says, as he lifts a dress from a hook and hands it to me.

Once I've put it on, I see what he means. The dress is beautiful, it really is, but it is a little… different. The top of it is pure black and strapless and as Cinna does up the corset at the back, I take some time to observe the skirt part of it. The individual pieces of material that make up the skirt are all knee length and resemble the wings of a butterfly; orange, red and black, with small white details.

"It's beautiful," I whisper to Cinna, now understanding why there is always a fuss over which district he be assigned to in the games.

"Thank you," he gives me a small smile, "but trust me, you look better than the dress," he sighs, "Now, what do we do with your hair?"

"Braid it?" I suggest, knowing that my hair will go into a braid quickly and won't require any 'Capitol Treatment' so to speak.

"Ok." He shrugs. Cinna knows that arguing with me over little things doesn't work, so immediately starts to braid it. When he's finished, he slides one butterfly pin into my hair, to complete the outfit. My shoes, however, are a bit of a problem when it comes to walking. The heels are too high for me to be used to, so we spend the remaining time we have before the show with Cinna teaching me how to walk in my shoes. When I've just about got the hang of it, someone dressed in all black pops their head round the door to inform me that I have 5 minutes. I look at Cinna and start to shake. He hugs me, holding me up a little before taking me by the shoulders.

"You'll be fine. Just be yourself."

And with that, I have to leave. I walk out of the door and down the corridor to meet Finnick, who is standing by some stairs, which I'm assuming lead to the stage. He's wearing what looks like a pair of jeans, a black shirt and a black jacket, with sleeves that are half-leather-half-material. All in all, he looks very smart. Walk up to him, trying desperately not to fall over, and stand next to him.

"You alright?" he asks quietly.

"A little nervous," I say truthfully. He takes my hand and squeezes it, "Don't be. They're going to love you."

All of a sudden the lights change, and Finnick and I are now standing in the dark. I squeeze his hand again to make sure he's still there and he squeezes back. Then, as suddenly as the lights changed, a booming voice that comes from the speakers echoes through the room.

"Introducing, your host for the night, CAESAR FLICKERMAN!" This introduction in followed by large amounts of applause and cheers, almost as loud as the speaker had been. From our position by the stairs, we can hear everything but we can't see anything. I listen eagerly for the next voice, more nervous than ever now.

"Good evening, good evening! How are we all? Looking fabulous everybody, I can assure you. Now, tonight's show is very special. And I think you all know why, yes? Of course you do, you all bought the tickets for it!" Caesar laughs, "Oh alright, I think I better get straight on with it, so let's all give a warm welcome to tonight's guests: Finnick Odair and his mystery woman, Katniss Everdeen!"

The crowd begins to roar again and all of a sudden I feel myself being pulled up the stairs and towards a seat by Finnick. Until I realise what's going on, I almost forget to put my game face on. I'm in love with him, I think to myself. It doesn't work. Uh, just think of Peeta. Yes, that works, think of Peeta, but don't mention him, I should be fine… right?

"So, guys, welcome to the show; you both look amazing," Caesar starts.

"Thank you," Finn smiles, "Although, I think you mean Kat looks amazing"

"Yes, I must say Katniss, that's a wonderful dress. Who designed it?" Caesar asks. I'm lost for words for a moment, god I'm so nervous.

"Uh… Cinna," I finally manage to spit out, "Cinna did, it's lovely isn't it," I say, trying to redeem myself.

"Ah, the stylist from the games? He's very good at it indeed. Anyhow, dresses aside… Finnick, we've not seen you for a while here in the Capitol, where've you been?"

"Well. I guess I took a little holiday. I just felt I needed to get away from it all really, and considering I'm not required to be a mentor anymore, I thought I'd take a trip through the districts."

"So you've been on a tour of Panem?"

"Not necessarily, I went to district 4 for a while, but being home is a little boring and so I thought to myself, hey I haven't been to 12 in ages! And that's how I ended up there"

"12, wow… How different is it there?"

"It's very different, Caesar. Have you ever been?" Finn takes over, asking the questions himself now.

"No, never,"

"Oh, you should go sometime. It's great during the summer, very… natural." Finnick chooses his words carefully, for my benefit I guess.

"And Katniss, you are from District 12, yes?"

"Yes. I am," I tell him.

"And that's where the two of you met?"

"Well officially yes," I say – they might as well know as much of the truth as possible, "We met in 12, but Finnick knew of me before I knew he did."

"What do you mean?" Caesar says, seeming genuinely interested.

"He was at the Hawthorne Trial and I never even knew it," I laugh a little, "Small world I guess"

"Ah ok, and then how did you two meet officially then?"

"Katniss was upset because of her break up with Peeta." Finnick says, shocking me a little, but I guess it makes sense – I broke up with Peeta and that way he does not need to seem any more involved than we want him to be in this story.  
"She was sitting at the train station alone, and I had just gotten off the train. It was like fate or something. She looked gorgeous as usual, but she was crying. Caesar, I think you'll agree with me when I say, if you see a beautiful girl in tears, you don't just ignore her."

"Oh, definitely. So then what happened? How did your relationship progress?"

"Well from then on, we just spent a lot of time together really. She's really funny and kind and I don't know… I just loved spending time with her and one thing lead to another, and here we are," Finn lies effortlessly.

"And so Katniss, you're living with Finnick now, yes?"

"Yes," I confirm, "We live together in a really nice apartment here in the capitol now."

"And, Finnick, just one last question before we finish…" Caesar starts leaning a little closer to him as if it is a private conversation, "Considering how fast everything is going, do you reckon marriage is on the table yet?"

Finn sits up a little straighter, seemingly surprised at what he's been asked. He squeezes my hand, which I've only just noticed is still in his and turns to look at me. He stares at me for a while and I stare back, nervously awaiting his response.

"Marriage…" He repeats the word as if he's never heard it before, "Maybe," he sighs turning back to face Caesar, "but not yet. I think we're both happy the way things are now."

Thank god. I sigh a little with relief and can't help but smile a bit at his response. I was beginning to get really scared that there would be a proposal. I don't think that I could handle a staged proposal or wedding without crying or blowing our cover or something awful like that.

"Ok, well, there you have it folks, Finnick Odair and his lovely lady, Katniss Everdeen!" Caesar shouts. The crowd go wild, and Finnick and I look at each other with the closest thing to a real smile on our faces.

Just for now, we're safe. We've done enough.

**Woop woop, hope you liked it. Be excited for the next chapter.**


	70. Chapter 68

**Ok, so this one was anticipated by a few of you, so I hope you all like it. I may have thrown a twist in there, so I hope you like that too! This one is dedicated to georgia hungergamesfernatic because you did request that Peeta come back. So here you go lovelies! **

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review  
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Once we get back to the apartment, the first thing I do is get changed. I throw on a pair of black trousers and a thick grey shirt that is a little too big for me. I pull my hair out of the braid it's in and take out the butterfly pin, which I leave on the edge of the sink. Then, once I'm changed, I sit on the bed and wait with the clock in my hands. 6:58. I sit and stare in silence at the time, watching the seconds tick my and muttering under my breath, praying that time would go faster. 6:59; that's when there's a knock at the door. I have never run so fast in my life. I sprint to the door and yank it open. For the first time ever I am happy to see the same two men dressed in black.

"Miss Everdeen are you ready?" One of them asks.

"Yes," I nod defiantly before turning to finn, who is watching the highlights of our interview, "Don't wait up," I tell him. He nods.

"Have fun," he says, turning back to the TV. I flash him a quick smile before turning back to the men in black.

"Alright, let's go." I say, and with that we begin to walk out of the door and down the corridor.

The drive to wherever it is that they're keeping Peeta felt agonisingly long. In reality it was about 10 minutes, however it felt like a few lifetimes. I thought I was nervous before doing the interview earlier, but I wasn't. Not really. I was more afraid of looking stupid than nervous. Now I'm afraid, I think to myself as I make my way down a deadly straight, clinically white hallway towards room 221, where Peeta is being kept. As I clutch the door handle, I notice that I am shaking like a leaf. I take a deep breath in as I push the door open, trying to remain calm.

That plan, of course, goes out the window as soon as I see Peeta. He doesn't see me until I close the door. The click gets his attention and he turns around. I stay where I am, leaning against door and he stays where he is, standing at the other side of the all-white room; just looking at each other, taking in every aspect of one another's face. I run to him, throwing my arms around his neck and immediately burst into tears, sobbing into his shoulder for a good few minutes. When I finally find the power to stop, I pull away from his shoulder, leaving my arms around him and keeping my face close to his.

"I missed you so much," I sniff.

"I missed you more," he says, stuttering a little as his eyes fill with tears too.

I kiss him, wanting to stay in this moment until the end of time as well as being aware of the fact that I have a limited amount of time with him today. The kiss lasts forever and a day, and when we eventually need to breathe, Peeta whispers something to me.

"I'm sorry"

"Why?" I ask, even if it is a stupid thing to say, I can't think straight.

"Because if it weren't for me, then we would be at home right now, with Laurel; our daughter is being raised by people other than her parents and it's my fault," he says, as if he's going to get really angry.

"Hey… shhh…" I say as I run by hands through his hair, "We're going to get out of this I promise. It's not your fault Peeta, you were doing what you thought was right."

"At what cost, Kat. Look at us. I'm stuck in a room where they to- leave me to go mad, and you have to pretend that you're another person entirely"

"What?" I say, not referring to what he said, and more to what he didn't.

"The thing with Finnick…" he says.

"No, you're stuck in a room where they what?" I ask, my voice cracking a bit as I do. Peeta shakes his head, knowing that he's not getting out of this one.

"No, it's nothing. Forget I said anything," he tries.

"Where they what, Peeta?" I ask again, sterner this time.

"Look, Kat it's no big deal…" he says, beginning to get defensive, "my mother did worse to me when I was a child, it's fine."

"Your mother… Peeta what are you talking about?"

He sighs, knowing that I won't let it go. Then, rather reluctantly, he lifts up his sleeve, revealing several deep purple bruises and cuts that go all the way up his arm and disappear under his shirt. I feel my jaw physically drop when I see them and find myself struggling to breathe for a few seconds.

"Peeta…" I whisper, not able to conjure any other words.

"They don't hurt. Kat. You have to believe me, they don't."

"How can you let them do that to you… how can just let them hurt you like that and do nothing about it," I say, my voice and body beginning to shake again.

"Because if I did, Katniss, if I tried to do something about it, they'd hurt you too," he whispers, "The only way they'll ever really hurt me, is by hurting you."

I watch him as he talks, gritting his teeth, swallowing his anger and biting back tears. I want to cry and scream and kill anyone that I've met since coming here. I hate them. I hate them all. They promised that if I did what I've done, if I put on a nice show, then they'd keep him safe. They lied, and the sad thing is I almost expected them to hold up their end of the deal.

"Bring on the revolution," I whisper. Peeta looks at me quizzically, before saying anything.

"Kat, what?"

"Bring. On. The revolution." I say again.

"No, Kat, don't do anything stupid," his words painted with concern, "Promise me you won't do anything stupid. I want you to be ok. If we get out of this… _When _we get out of this, I want my fiancée to be alive and safe," he says.

"Fiancée?"  
"Yes. Katniss. I want you to be my wife. And I promise that when this is over, I will buy you a ring. A real one. A nice one. And we'll have the perfect wedding at home, in 12. Where we _belong. _Once this is over we'll have all that. And Laurel will have her parents back and she'll grow up in a world with brothers and sisters and none of them will have to worry about the games or the capitol or the revolution because they will have been and gone. So yes, Katniss. I want you to be my wife. If you'll have me?"

I stare at him blankly for a few moments as I imagine the world he's describing, where Laurel and her brothers and sisters really can live without fear, in a world that's so brilliant, so perfect. So different to this one. And Peeta and I will live happily for the first time in too long, back at the bakery, with Adrian and Olivia and Rye and Micah and Prim.

"At least say something…" Peeta says, snapping me back into reality. I laugh a little.

"Yes, Peeta. Yes. A hundred times, yes," I say over and over, grinning like an idiot through my tears.

"Now you have to promise me that you'll stay safe. For me."

"I promise," I give him a small sincere smile, "For you."

**Aww, well that should be enough angst/fluff to keep you going until next time. The story is about to kick off with a big twist - I think - so you can look forward to that. Hope you all enjoyed the chapters. Loves you byee :)**


	71. Chapter 69

**Hey there guys! Sorry it's been forever since the last chapter, but I was on holiday you see, and I couldn't access the internet whilst away (I literally got back an hour ago) Anywho, I have written a new chapter - as you can see - and I'm uploading it in time for my birthday, which is tomorrow! (The 17th. Idk if that is tomorrow or today or yesterday wherever you are in the world) But anyway. I hope you enjoy it. It should make sense and be grammatically correct - sorry if it's not, I may or may not have written it in the car. 8 hour car journeys are the best, aren't they. (No. no they're not.) This one is for ElphabaFaye, thank you so much for your lovely review. It really made my day. (Awesome name too, by the way)**

**Don't forget to Follow/Favourite/Review!  
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**(PS if anyone is going to Summer in the City, Pip is going to be there. I am jealous.)**

I wake up in a state of terror and confusion after a dream in which I found myself falling. After calming myself down and rubbing my tired eyes, I begin to take in my surroundings. After just a few seconds of sitting in the dark, I notice that one; I am not in our Capitol apartment and two; I am not alone. Through the shadows, I can just about make out the dark contours of a figure, sitting opposite me in the room. The figure gets up, and as I follow the soft footsteps and faint movements of my anonymous companion, I convince myself that I am still dreaming. This theory is disproven when the figure switches the light on, revealing himself to be much more familiar and real than anticipated. "Rye?" I whisper, scared to speak out load, considering I don't have a clue what is going on.

"Hey," he whispers back, "how are you?"

"A little disorientated," I sigh.

"I'm not surprised," Rye smirks, "do you know where you are?" he asks, his voice softens and is a little more serious now. I shake my head, awaiting some kind if explanation.

Rye pulls the chair he was sitting on earlier closer to my bed, which is nothing more than a sturdy metal frame with a bare mattress on it.

"Ok," he starts, "what do you remember?" I ponder the question for a minute. In truth, I don't remember much. I struggle in frustration to think of what I was doing, where I was.

"I was with Finnick. In the apartment... I had just seen Peeta. He just asked me to..." I stop myself there when I remember what happened with Peeta. What he asked me, and then what we... No. I can't think about that now, I'll end up blushing and cringing, and Rye will know; embarrassment is not an emotion I need at this moment in time.

"...he asked me to stay safe. I don't remember what happened next."

"Ok," Rye gives me a sympathetic smile, "that was about six days ago Kat."

"Six days? What are you talking about? What happened?" where am I? Where are the others? Where is Peeta? What's going on, Rye?"

I start to feel myself shaking. Rye is quick to cover my mouth with his hand and shut me up, which takes me by surprise.

"Shh. Kat you gotta be quiet or you'll have the nurses on your case, and I think we both know that's a recipe for trouble," he tells me. Acknowledging that he's right, I relax and wait for Rye to take his hand off my face. When he does, I stare at him quietly for a bit.

"So are you going to tell me?" I ask. My voice is defensive but quiet.

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything," I tell him, "Start from the beginning and tell me everything."

Rye sighs a little as he leans back in his chair. He kicks his feet a bit before defiantly sitting forward, resting his elbows on his knees. His posture is awful, but part of that is just because he's bending down slightly so he can be at my level.

"Well," he begins. I can tell that this is a long story so I sit up, making sure I'm comfortable. "I don't know it all, because you and I were in different places the morning it happened; the morning after you went to see Peet, that is. You would have probably been having breakfast when me and Adrian were setting up shop, so to speak. Not much happened that morning, nothing worth reminding you about anyway. That evening however, you and Finn were attending a special dinner with some very important people. Capitol officials and game-makers mainly, but President Snow and a few people of real importance were there too. Anyway, you would have been acting with Finnick, eating fancy foods and putting on a lovely show for all of your fellow guests when..." Rye trails off. "Are you sure you don't remember any of this?" he asks. I shake my head.

"Not one bit," I sigh.

"…We bombed it Kat, blew up the whole room. Not many people got out alive. We positioned it and timed it so you and Finn weren't toasted, but you were quite banged up. You inhaled a lot of smoke; Adrian carried you out. Since then you were brought here and taken care of, but we gave you some meds, made sure you slept. You should be ok now. Or... More ok that you were, anyway."  
I stare at him for a while in disbelief. So many questions rush into my head, as well as immense frustration at my lack of memory.

"I have more questions." I say, as calmly as possible.

"Shoot," Rye says as if he didn't just admit to killing a bunch of people.

"Where are we now?"

"District 13. It's been rebuilt underground. I won't say much more, I don't want to confuse you too much"

"Who is 'we'?"

"Adrian, Madge and Myself. And some other people that I knew from the LP"

"Madge helped? Where is she now? Is she with Finnick? Where's Finn?"

Rye bites his lip guiltily. He seems apologetic, his face riddled with sympathy.

"What, Rye, what is it?" I say, feeling myself panic again. I hold my breath to try and stay calm.

"Finn is here, in the psychiatric unit..."

"Psychiatric unit? Why?"

"If I tell you, Kat, you have to try not to freak out. Ok?"

I nod slightly, anxious as to what would make me freak out more than I already am.

"When...the bomb went off. Madge got... Caught up, trying to help an avox out. She, she saved her life, but lost her own. She died, Kat. We really did do everything we could to save her, but it wasn't enough."

My breathing gets heavy and tears prick at my eyes as I ask another question.

"How... What was it that killed her? Did she... Burn?"

"No," Rye shakes his head, "shrapnel. She sustained several injuries, including a puncture in her lung."

"And Finnick is in a psychiatric unit because he's not dealing with it well?"

"That's one way of putting it." Rye says bluntly.

I refrain from asking more about it, because not only does the situation distress me, but I know it upset Rye. I don't want to bring up any unwanted memories about Pip.

"Where are the others? I ask, changing the subject.

"Adrian, Olivia and Laurel are all in their home unit. Micah and Prim have been staying with me. They'll be asleep around about now."

"And Peeta?" I question, finding it a little odd that Rye hasn't mentioned him yet.

"Oh, yeah, he's around somewhere." he says. I look at him and fix a stare on his eyes.

"Rye..." I say, expecting a proper explanation.

"What, I don't know where he is, he's in the district though."

"Rye." I say, sterner this time.

He sighs and looks around a bit before shuffling his feet against the stone floor.

"Ok, fine. I'll tell you. But you didn't hear it from me, ok?"

"fine, just tell me what's going on."

"He's been... Messed with. There's some fancy name for it but I can't remember it. Basically the Capitol messed with his memories. He doesn' remember certain things, selective memory or whatever. He seems to remember that you went to the capitol with Finnick, but he doesn't remember that it was fake. He tried to kill Finn when he saw him."

"But he's not hurt or anything? Where is he? I want to see him"

"It's not safe for you to see him Kat."

I start to shake again, but this time not in confusion or panic, but in anger. A fire begins to bubble within my stomach and just want to scream. The funny thing is, I do. I scream and cry and shout, and quickly – without realising it – I am on top of Rye, beating him senseless. I know it's not his fault, and I know that he's just the bearer of bad news, in the wrong place at the wrong time. But as I hit him, I feel some sense of comfort, the anger begins to flood away, and even as I watch his nose bleed, and even as I am pulled away by two nurses in grey, I feel better for doing it. The tears sting my face as they roll down both cheeks, but I couldn't care less. Everything is going wrong, and a few tears aren't going to make it better, so why care? But I do care. That is what is making me like this. I care that I am now officially a "danger to myself and others" as I heard a nurse refer to me as.

I am soon locked away in another room, very similar to the one I was just in. Grey walls, stone floor, single bed, a small chest of drawers and a shelf for clothes and personal belongings. And as I lie in bed that night, I think about what an idiot I am. I've done all of this. It's all my fault. Yet here I am, angry at other people. Well, as angry and "dangerous" as I may be, I am going to find Finnick first thing tomorrow. He'll understand. I'm sure he will. And I am going to find Peeta too. Whether it kills me or not.

**Ok lovelies. I hope you enjoyed it. I have no idea when the next one will be up, but enjoy it when it comes. Love you all. Thanks for the reviews x**


	72. Chapter 70

**Woop woop, chapter 70. I never really expected it to go this far... Anywho, I can't really right a bit intro, because it's 11:26pm and I am tired... Thanks for the birthday messages, they were all lovely :3 This one is for MissWaffles101, because you sent some lovely reviews and I love your username. **

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MadcapScribbler x**

Despite the abundance of sleeping medication that I was given, sleep seems to elude me. In fact, as I lie in bed in my grey stone bunker, I find myself struggling to think of anything that I haven't screwed up.

Prim's ok. Then again, I left home because I couldn't stand my mother, without giving Prim a second thought. And then I left the district without even saying a real goodbye, leaving her in the dark about the whole situation. So I guess I screwed that up.

Rye seems alright, considering he avoided death, which was a fate many of us were certain he would meet too soon. But once again, he's not alright. His one and only love was killed by accident, by someone trying to kill me. His brother was arrested for trying to make my life easier. I screwed that up, too.

After thinking far too much about how much I have ruined people's lives, I come to the decision that – sleep or no sleep – I am not going to make things better by lying in a dark room. I'm certainly not going to make things better alone, either. I pull myself out of bed, noticing how cold the floor is against my bare feet. In all honesty, I'm surprised at the temperature of the room in general. The air is damp and cold; as you would expect it to be underground, and as I walk along the corridor to the unit's only shower room, I find myself shivering.

Most of the home units in district 13, as I'm told, have a bathroom within them. However, since my outburst last night, I am in the psychiatric unit, thus meaning that a shower to myself is not a privilege that I have access to yet. The shower room itself is actually really quite big, and there are 6 different showers, all behind locking doors. I pull off the thin white hospital gown and step into the freezing cold water; I take a moment to look at myself. And I mean _really _look. I notice a few new, small scars in my inner elbow that I will assume are from some sort of blood tests or something. I also feel a bigger one down the side of my neck. My left wrist is swollen and throbbing and probably broken, but that is the least of my problems right now, so I forget about it. When I become bored of the ice water that is raining on me at god knows what time in the morning, I get out.

Once I am back in my hospital gown, I try and pluck up the will power to walk back to my home unit and crawl back into my bed, but two steps out of the door I realise that that is not going to happen so I take a different turn and find myself wandering the corridors of the pysch unit in the middle of the night.

I can hear my fellow mentalists sleeping.

I slow down as I pass every door, wandering who is in there, why they're there and if I know them. That is until I reach one door, one particular door, which I know everything about. Or more, I know everything about who's behind it.

Why? A single piece of knotted rope hung over the door handle.

I walk up to it, slowly, wandering if it's a good idea to go in. Eventually my loneliness gets the better of me and I end up going in without asking. As soon as I open the door, I see Finnick. He's sitting on his bed, wearing a gown not dissimilar to my own, knotting rope. When he looks up, he looks momentarily furious. But then, his eyes lock on mine and his face relaxes, as if he's fading into empty sadness.

"They woke you up then?" he says in a state of total interest. He cares so much but you wouldn't know it from his face or voice. You just _know. _He gestures for me to come closer and sit with him, so I do. I can tell that Finn's missed having people around.

"Unfortunately," I sigh, "Although technically it was on my own terms. I guess I didn't know any better."

"hmm." Says Finnick, as he returns to his rope. His finger tips are bruised and bleeding and I can only imagine how many hours he's spent knotting and un-knotting that rope.

"I'm assuming they didn't tell you about Peeta," he says without looking at me. For half a second my eyes flit back from his rope to his eyes, and I notice that he's knotting it without even looking at it. He's looking at me.

"Not really," I say, "They said something about… his memories? I can't remember."

"That'll be the drugs," Finn informs me, putting down his rope once more, "They help you forget. As if that's a good thing," he says morosely.

"Do you know what happened to him?"

"Who?"

"Peeta," I whisper.

"Oh, yeah… They call it "Hijacking" in the Capitol. They use tracker-jacker venom in tiny quantities and show the victim propaganda in order to affect their memories. My guess is that they showed Peeta all of our press stuff and convinced him that we were really… yeah."

"But there's a cure right? There's got to be a cure…"

"Not that anyone knows of," Finnick sighs and looks at the ground, "Would you like a hug. I think I'd like one."

That's it. That's when I realised the depths of the wounds. The Capitol has inflicted so much on this nation of people that even Finnick; a once bubbly, confident, self-assured lady's man is sitting on a bed in a psychiatric unit, asking for a hug. I wrap my arms around his chest and press my face into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry about Madge, Finn," I whisper. I feel him inhale sharply before saying anything.

"Don't be."

When the hug is over, Finn won't look at me. He's crying, that's for sure. I reach out to touch his shoulder, but he flinches and backs away.

"They think I'm crazy, Kat," he sniffs once his sobbing is over.

I look at him, like I had at myself in the shower, taking in every aspect of change that's noticeable in his face. His eyes are dark, almost grey, and hollow. They're encircled by deep purple shadows, indicating the amount of sleep he's had in the last few days. Both of his hands and his right wrist are bandaged tightly, and I'm beginning to see that Finnick and I are practically in the same boat. Finnick isn't crazy. He's sad. He's mourning a loved one, which is a tragic thing for anyone to go through. Death makes us do crazy things. But it doesn't make us crazy.

"You're not crazy, Finn," I tell him.

"No, I am I. I almost killed a nurse."

"Well I almost killed Rye last night, and Peeta almost killed you, I hear, so if you're crazy, so are we."

"Who told you about that?"

"What?"

"Peeta"

"Uh… Rye. Why?"

"Oh, it's nothing. It's just. Well, we were all told not to tell you. There was a pact. Haymitch did say that it was stupid, and to be fair, it was. What were you going to do? Just forget about him and not wondering where the person you've spent so much time looking for is?"

"Haymitch spoke up?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I thought he hated me."

"No. He really looks out for you," Finn says, his voice is sincere.

I take a moment to digest what he said. I carefully process the words and everything I can remember that's happened to me in the last few days. That is, when I was awake…

"Finn, do you know where they keep my clothes. My normal ones?"

"Um, they'll probably still be where you were yesterday. In that room. Why?"

"Because I can't go and see Haymitch dressed like this, can I?"

"Why are you going to see Haymitch?"

"Because he is the only one that will help me get to Peeta. That is, if I ask nicely. Do you know where he'll be?"

"Drunk wherever he is," Finn says, "he'll probably be in his home unit, which is upstairs. It'll have his name on the door. But Kat, I really don't think seeing Peeta is a gre-"

"If you're going to tell me that I shouldn't see him, I would shut up now. Finnick, you're one of the few friends I have left, so please, please don't make me hate you." I interrupt, standing up. My heart is thumping and I'm buzzing on adrenalin, "how do I get upstairs?"

"There's an elevator down the corridor, just past your old room," he informs me.

I get to the door, turn back and face him for half a second.

"Thank you, Finn. Don't tell those bloody nurses where I've gone, will you?"

"'Course not," he says. Then, for the first time – only slightly – Finnick smiles, "Good luck."

**Well I hope that was enough for you all, there'll be another one soon. Love you all and thanks for reading! *Dies because of new Set!Lock photos..***


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